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Ramadan Funnies - Religion (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Ramadan Funnies by Nobody: 12:12am On Jun 22, 2015
true2god:
My muslim friends will wake up 5 to 6 in the morning and eat so well and come in the day making official announcements: I AM FASTING. That is not fasting but skipping lunch.

Anyone can do a muslim style of 'fasting' for 1000 days. Besides, muslims like getting public sympathy by forming 'i am fasting' gimmicks in the public or office in order to attract attentions. That is called 'spiritual hypocrisy'.

Jar jar binks the cheerleader! Fasting was not meant to inflict hardship on people or more than people can bear. Maybe since your god enjoys when people flog themselves in his name, he'll love to see them starving to... lol! jar jar Friggin binks!!!

2 Likes

Re: Ramadan Funnies by Nobody: 12:14am On Jun 22, 2015
Rilwayne001:


Yes, I quote reasonable things to make my point(s) not unreasonable things. I can even quote part of the hindu scripture to make my point, in as much as its applicable to the discussion. That doesn't mean I believe in the book entirely.

There are reasonable quotes in the bible and at the same time thousands of unreasonable quotes.




Such as this:? "For my people are foolish, the know me not, they are stupid children..." Jeremiah 4:22?




Dialogue such as this? "'Pass through the city after him, and smite; your eye shall not spare and you shall show no pity; slay old men outright, young men and maidens, little children and women...'" -Ezekiel 9:5




the many parts where the bible god orders sacrifices to himself, and gives minute instructions about how the various parts of an ox should be disposed of: the head, the fat, the dung, and so on. It’s not good literature—not at all. I think you should pick up leviticus and read those long boring stuffs.

You should read Numbers chapter 13 and tell me whether it made any sense. Boring stuffs as usual. undecided




[b] Hate speech monologue such as this? :

"Happy shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!" Psalms 137:9

"Behold the day of the Lord comes, cruel, with wrath and fierce anger...Whoever is found will be thrust through and whoever is caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed in pieces before their eyes, their houses will be plundered and their wives ravished." -Isaiah 13:9, 13:15

Ezekiel 9:5 as well?.


"Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon, than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest anything that is cruel." Thomas Paine The Age of Reason

You need to open your mind, I believe you are totally blind to see what was written in your bible. [/b]


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2421366_542e4ec807f0287844ae7bc91f7b8131_jpeg6effb71d7d68eee99166870b0f77720a





I pray you don't die of HBP…



Okay now, So, if many are planning to leave, how many are planning to stop them from leaving?



Hehehe grin grin

I know you are pained and disappointed because of what allnaijablogger wrote up there, hence, the reason for your flexing of muscle. Keep flexin it. I'll just sit here and watch you run away as usual grin grin




YES, indeed, my prayer and fast is offered to the one true GOD. He is not just of the Jews alone, but the LORD of the Universe as a whole. So, if your God is lordof the jews alone, then, I can only shake my head for you.



The above shows that you havent been reading your bible very well. My chatbox will be full and difficult to type much if I am to reply the above one after the other. But I will give you grace to read up on them before I reply you one after the other. Read read and read. stop being ignorant.



Don't worry. allnaijbloggrr will not repeat that Statement again. Sorry ehn embarassed

Damn! Nigga knocked her out faster than Saul Alvarez knocked out that b*tch as* James kirkland!!!
Re: Ramadan Funnies by parisbookaddict(f): 7:42am On Jun 23, 2015
9jaforlife:


I guess that's why you ALWAYS quote the Noble Quran as if it's going out of fashion

Ifeann aka parisbookaddict, relax though, it's NOT like that buyboo that changes face every two weeks!


Yeye girl sad


U mean unholy quran passages like

Quran 8:39. "And fight with them until there is no more persecution and religion should be only for Allah; but if they desist, then surely Allah sees what they do."


Qur’an 8:12— Remember thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): “I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.”

Qur’an 9:73—O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites and be unyielding to them; and their abode is hell, and evil is the destination.”


Qur'an (9:29)-"Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued."

Sura 9:5. "When the sacred months are over slay the idolaters wherever you find them. Arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush everywhere for them."

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Ramadan Funnies by parisbookaddict(f): 7:47am On Jun 23, 2015
true2god:
My muslim friends will wake up 5 to 6 in the morning and eat so well and come in the day making official announcements: I AM FASTING. That is not fasting but skipping lunch.

Anyone can do a muslim style of 'fasting' for 1000 days. Besides, muslims like getting public sympathy by forming 'i am fasting' gimmicks in the public or office in order to attract attentions. That is called 'spiritual hypocrisy'.

Everything about Islam is upside down and distorted.

They eat early breakfast and skip lunch then eat a late dinner and call that a fast. Its amusing. I practically do this on a normal working day.

Ramadan is just the act of skipping lunch.

I was reading this muslim article of how Muslims actually gain weight during ramadan. They binge on food more than usual.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Ramadan Funnies by parisbookaddict(f): 8:02am On Jun 23, 2015
Rilwayne001:


Yes, I quote reasonable things to make my point(s) not unreasonable things. I can even quote part of the hindu scripture to make my point, in as much as its applicable to the discussion. That doesn't mean I believe in the book entirely.


Of course u will appeal to Hindu scriptures. Muslims say the book of the Hindu deity prophesied mohammed, lol. And of course u guys share the same pagan practises.



[b] Okay now, So, if many are planning to leave, how many are planning to stop them from leaving?


Here is your commands from MoHarmMad for killing apostates

Everyone who has studied Islam seriously knows that Shariah prescribes the death penalty for apostates. This is based on the authentic traditions of Muhammad who said:
"If somebody (a Muslim) discards his religion, kill him." (Bukhari, Book 52, Number 260)
and
"The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." (Bukhari, Book 83 Number 17)

Allah's Apostle said, "The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." — Sahih al-Bukhari, 9:83:17 ”




I know you are pained and disappointed because of what allnai.jablogger wrote up there, hence, the reason for your flexing of muscle. Keep flexin it. I'll just sit here and watch you run away as usual grin grin [/b]

What? How? Lol.. allnaijab.logger is a friend and has dealt with u Muslims sufficiently enough for me to know his stance on the Islam issue.



YES, indeed, my prayer and fast is offered to the one true GOD. He is not just of the Jews alone, but the LORD of the Universe as a whole. So, if your God is lordof the jews alone, then, I can only shake my head for you.

When did I say he was the God of the Jews ALONE. U Muslims and ur act of lying better known as al taqiyya.

God made himself known to us through the Jews, even mohammed copied Jewish scripture, all God's prophets where Jews but u Muslims believe in another deity who isn't God, this allah deity of your's also has pagan Hindu prophets and an Arab paedophile as a prophet, Loves slavery and turning people into pigs and apes etc



Relax and do your lunch skipping ramaMad fast. I'm done with u

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Ramadan Funnies by Rilwayne001: 8:36am On Jun 23, 2015
grin grin grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: Ramadan Funnies by 9jaforlife: 8:52am On Jun 23, 2015
parisbookaddict:
[s] [size=4pt]

U mean unholy quran passages like

Quran 8:39. "And fight with them until there is no more persecution and religion should be only for Allah; but if they desist, then surely Allah sees what they do."


Qur’an 8:12— Remember thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): “I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.”

Qur’an 9:73—O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites and be unyielding to them; and their abode is hell, and evil is the destination.”


Qur'an (9:29)-"Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued."

Sura 9:5. "When the sacred months are over slay the idolaters wherever you find them. Arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush everywhere for them." [/size] [/s]

2 Likes

Re: Ramadan Funnies by 9jaforlife: 9:14am On Jun 23, 2015
parisbookaddict:


Of course u will appeal to Hindu scriptures. Muslims say the book of the Hindu deity prophesied mohammed, lol. And of course u guys share the same pagan practises.



Here is your commands from MoHarmMad for killing apostates

Everyone who has studied Islam seriously knows that Shariah prescribes the death penalty for apostates. This is based on the authentic traditions of Muhammad who said:
"If somebody (a Muslim) discards his religion, kill him." (Bukhari, Book 52, Number 260)
and
"The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." (Bukhari, Book 83 Number 17)

Allah's Apostle said, "The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims." — Sahih al-Bukhari, 9:83:17 ”


You manipulate the Quran but you can still justify this extreme brutality for apostasy in the buyboo

[size=14pt]Zephaniah 1: 2-6
"I will sweep away everything in all your land," says the LORD. "I will sweep away both people and animals alike. Even the birds of the air and the fish in the sea will die. shocked I will reduce the wicked to heaps of rubble, along with the rest of humanity," says the LORD. "I will crush Judah and Jerusalem with my fist and destroy every last trace of their Baal worship. I will put an end to all the idolatrous priests, so that even the memory of them will disappear. For they go up to their roofs and bow to the sun, moon, and stars. They claim to follow the LORD, but then they worship Molech, too. So now I will destroy them! And I will destroy those who used to worship me but now no longer do. They no longer ask for the LORD's guidance or seek my blessings." [/size]

What? How? Lol.. allnaijab.logger is a friend and has dealt with u Muslims sufficiently enough for me to know his stance on the Islam issue.

Yet, you want to kill yourself simply because he posted harmless Islamic jokes undecided


"Relax and do your lunch skipping ramaMad fast."

...Posted by Ifeann aka parisbookaddict on July 23


"HAPPY RAMADAN TO NAIRALAND MUSLIMS"

... Posted by the same Ifeann aka parisbookaddict on July 18

Ifeann aka parisbookaddict, this is a BIPOLAR DISORDER ALERT!!! Go treat yourself!!

2 Likes

Re: Ramadan Funnies by Nobody: 9:15am On Jun 23, 2015
9jaforlife:
Looolzzz!

Funny. But funnier to me is the fact that Ifeann aka parisbookaddict couldn't even stand a harmless, funny thread about Islam... That boy/girl must be going through some real pain! smiley

By the way, Ifeann aka parisbookaddict, didn't you open a thread just 2days ago, titled:

"HAPPY RAMADAN TO NAIRALAND MUSLIMS, HERE IS A RAMADAN JOKE"


So why are you pissed that another person opened a friendly thread about Islam to make us laugh undecided

Afterall, you posted an Islamic 'joke' and had someone like Mathematical believe your lies!

Isn't it clear that your thread wasn't for real?? My comment was true afterall, you're deceitful, a mere pretender and a wolf in sheep's clothing!!

[size=15pt]
#DeceitIsTheWayOf Satan [/size]
not satan but Shay tan. As the unholy quran deceives you.
Re: Ramadan Funnies by 9jaforlife: 9:53am On Jun 23, 2015
ProphetUdeme:
not satan but Shay tan. As the unholy quran buyboo deceives you.



Satan or Shaytan, ANYONE of the two will perfectly fit your Deceitful Sister, whom I was referring to undecided


Let me capture your thought...

"IT'S NOT DENIAL; I'M JUST SELECTIVE ABOUT THE REALITY I ACCEPT"

~Prophet LiarUdeme
cool

1 Like

Re: Ramadan Funnies by vedaxcool(m): 10:25am On Jun 23, 2015


Rilwayne nailed it!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ramadan Funnies by Blackfire(m): 12:10pm On Jun 23, 2015
Kagarko:
Some of the pictures are true of Islamic ruling on fighting while fasting.

Taqabballallahu minna wa minkum.
Re: Ramadan Funnies by Blackfire(m): 12:12pm On Jun 23, 2015
Kagarko:
Some of the pictures are true of Islamic ruling on fighting while fasting.

Taqabballallahu minna wa minkum.

tell that to isis, al shabab, boko haram, and all those meccans murdered by mohamed and his gangs
Re: Ramadan Funnies by joseph1832(m): 5:33pm On Jun 24, 2015
redgem:
Its not funny though....no offence
To you its not, but to me its damn right funny! LMFAO.

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