"Be careful out there. There will be boys who try to
mislead you with exaggerated notions of love when
the majority is only interested in one thing."
My late father imparted that knowledge on me
after he’d stumbled upon a love letter his ten-year-
old daughter had written to her crush.
Naturally, I hadn’t the faintest idea what he was on
about at the time, but for some reason, not once
did I ever forget those words. And of course, with
growth I came to realize their value.
Now, as a black woman in my mid-20s, I find myself
being forced to relive his words as I try to find
myself in a time of insatiable lust.
In a time where women are discarded for not
relinquishing what is colloquially referred to as "the
cookie"; 'small boys' with entitlement issues will lay
on the guilt trip so thick that you end up being
overly critical of yourself for not being "easy".
I’ve had to defend myself to guys who felt slighted
that I dared starve them of my vagina when they
could just as easily get it elsewhere, but opted for
mine instead.
One even had the gall to accuse me of being petty!
And as a young woman with traditional values (well,
somewhat), it horrifies me to think that this is the
quality of man that will raise our sons.
Not taking anything away from the decent men, I do
believe that they still exist. And maybe I’m naïve
for believing that love and lust can coexist in an era
that’s bordering more towards the latter.
My belief, however, was almost shattered a few
months ago when a dapper gentleman lost his cool
and told me I was being irrational for not letting
him penetrate me in the backseat of his car. I
wasn’t going to let him have sex with me, period.
We weren’t even exclusive.
Reflecting on it now, I suppose I should be grateful
that he was cordial enough to take me back home
instead of ditching me in a remote dump
somewhere.
Things could’ve gone completely south – he could’ve
chosen to violate me after realizing his courteous
attempts failed dismally. In spite of this, a part of
me anticipated an apologetic phone call the next
day.
I convinced myself that once he’d recovered from
his erection, he’d realize that his feelings for me
weren’t shallow. Of course that didn’t happen.
If that’s how a woman is treated for being
honorable then I shudder to think what women who
apply the opposite have to deal with.
Perhaps my rant would carry more weight if us
women weren’t partially responsible for how some
of us are treated by men. We’ve made ourselves so
accessible that men just don’t feel it necessary to
work hard for our interest anymore. For some of
them, being committed seems redundant. We’re
just not worth it.
The media isn’t helping either (well, does it ever?).
We’re made to feel emancipated for being
promiscuous. Curse you, Sex and the City!
My concern is the inherent fear of the many
women scorned, that the tale of “the good guy”
might as well be fiction.
It’s becoming much harder for women to be
involved with a man without having to compromise
ourselves in some way; and because we are so
desperate for acceptance and to be desired
(desperate for anything that’s remotely close to
affection, really), we give in to every subtle
coercion by every hairy dick named Tom.
Perhaps love hasn’t become difficult to find because
we ceased to demand it as a prerequisite. Perhaps
it’s become difficult to find because we’ve stopped
nurturing it within ourselves.

Hmmm.. Reading quietly

Ishilove oya come n see o

"Think like a man, act like a woman"

Try that in Nigeria and 'the cookie' will not only fall, it will be mauled.
You don't want sex, stay away from men!!!! This is the only safe and sure way!!!

CHM11:
"Think like a man, act like a woman"


Try that in Nigeria and 'the cookie' will not only fall, it will be mauled.

You don't want sex, stay away from men!!!!
This is the only safe and sure way!!!

Very true, Dont want it yet, then dont go around sniffing it...

"Be careful out there. There will be boys who try to mislead you with exaggerated notions of love when the majority is only interested in one thing."

Are you gay or you're a woman...?!

iPopAlomo:


Are you gay or you're a woman...?!

The writer is a woman, and its a great post too.......i know i broke the guy code but you cant deny this article is great...

winner01:
The writer is a woman, and its a great post too.......i know i broke the guy code but you cant deny this article is great...

I didn't read it from that point onwards... and I won't either... good you know you broke the bro code... whatever ticks your boat... You get popular with the girls... sure... but trying times... you'd appreciate a brother from another mother... these females aren't loyal... I hope you font find out too late...

all this little children be getting bitter and furious when your deeds are exposed


To them he must either be a gay or woman wrappi


meanwhile when there's a thread about 50 ways to keep your husband you'll see them jumping there and feasting on the thread

iPopAlomo:



I didn't read it from that point onwards... and I won't either... good you know you broke the bro code... whatever ticks your boat... You get popular with the girls... sure... but trying times... you'd appreciate a brother from another mother... these females aren't loyal... I hope you font find out too late...

winner01:
The writer is a woman, and its a great post too.......i know i broke the guy code but you cant deny this article is great...

if you are expecting them to be here you're on a long tin. They're busy having a field day with menses and feminism thread


that's what tickles their fancy

SAMBARRY:
if you are expecting them to be here you're on a long tin. They're busy having a field day with menses and feminism thread


that's what tickles their fancy

menses and feminism ...lol.