These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

I cannot believe this but I think I like Mc Donals right now

You also can apply and fill the form same way

hmmm

Nahhhh. . . too low pay.

eh ehhh TELL ME SOMETHING. SO GABY YOU LIKE MONEY WELLA

Yes I like money but only the ones which I earn from my blood. Other than that, I do not appreciate

read it b4 but stil sounds crazy

do dat one 4 naija company,na hunger go kil u

really?

really

this joke is as old as my signature

Gabby and money, na like conjoin twins o!

lol.

Can I get a fries with a large Milkshake?

lol

dani1luv:

Iz this a Joke

Coz i couldnt lafff

I dont blame you since your mouth has been glued that way

kronkykay:

this joke is as old as my signature

I dont blame you since you were born in the 3rd century

webprince:

Gabby and money, na like conjoin twins o!

Correction! Gabby and her hard work cold sweat earned blood money, na like conjoin twins o!

Gabby, the joke was nice keep it up

Really?

. . .

Wetin be that in your head? I hope you are not thinking of masturbathing again

Am talking to you jor

where all of una this monday morning wey be public holiday?

we dey where u tell us to dey

let us knoe d place