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Letter To Nepa & Sundry Jokes. . . / Chinese and Asian Jokes / Nigerian Jokes (2) (3) (4)
*Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 6:36am On Mar 13, 2009 |
*edit* THEY MOVED THIS THREAD TO THE JOKE SECTION. SO TO MAKE IT A JOKE THREAD, I AM GOING TO POST AS FAST AS I CAN TO KEEP THE CARS SPINNING. Talk about a menace to Joke section, . . . .allow me to What your Car says about You Acura NSX- I am impotent. Alfa Romeo - I’m looking for Beta Juliet. Aston Martin DB7 - I have sweaty feet, but still women like to suck my toes, I wonder why? Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires. Audi TT - I love golf, but I love my car (with no space) more. Audi A4 - Airhead who wants to be a banker, but is already a merchant . . . Audi A6 - I like/have to shave my hairy arse. BMW 3 series - I’m a successful sole trader & I can’t drive. BMW 5 series - I have a successful limited company & I can’t drive. BMW 7 series - I get other people to do my work, I’m far too important, but I still can’t drive. BMW Z3 - I eat bananas with Marmite spread on them & passed 3 GCSE’s. BMW Z4 - I run a trendy wine bar & have drunk most of the profits. BMW Z8 - See Nissan 350Z Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states of America. Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman. Cadillac Seville- I am a love-vendor. Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people. Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette. Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis. Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government. Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather. Chrysler PT Cruiser - I dig graves & carry coffins. Citroen AX - I chew on Barley straw & enjoy stamp collecting. Citroen C3 - I want to escape to the jungle where life is free. Citroen C5 - I have dreamed of conquering Mount Everest, but then thought it best to get a real job. Citroen Picasso - From Essex, also see Renault Scenic. Citroen Saxo - see Ford Fiesta. Daewoo Matiz - I eat pizza for lunch & smoke 50 a day. Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well. Dodge Dart - I teach special needs children and I voted for Tony Blair. Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car. Ferrari 360M - I need a counselling session with Jerry Springer. Ferrari 575 Maranello - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Fiat Uno - I’m a student waster. Fiat Brava - Daddy buys my cars, one day he’ll buy me an MR2. Fiat Bravo - I drive my low budget company car. Fiat Espace - I live on a council estate; also see Renault scenic. Fiat Multipla - I have no taste; also see Renault scenic. Fiat Punto - I have product overload on my hair & consider Pizza Hut an Italian restaurant. Ford Anglia - I buy all my clothes and consumables from my local pound shop. Ford Cougar - I secretly steal street signs, I have them arranged in my back garden & at night it looks like aliens have landed. Ford Escort - I’m a wannbe boy-racer, but in secret I buy pot plants for my mummy & take my Grandma shopping every week. Ford Fiesta - Hairdresser, no sense of direction. Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart) Ford Focus - I’m a boy-racer disguised as a sensible office worker at the weekends I'm a curry monster!! Ford KA - I’m a student & can’t afford a Fiesta. Ford Maverick - I’m cute, gay & immature and I love peanut butter. Ford Mondeo - I’m a family person posing as a business manager. Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones. Ford Orion - I like to cut shapes into potatoes and give them to the homeless. Ford Sierra - I still think LA Gear trainers are “cool” & prefer it when my mum ties my shoelaces. Ford SportKA - I’m a geezer-bird/Silly little boy who doesn’t know what real rally car looks like. Ford StreetKA - Half a convertible is better than no convertible at all. Ford Puma - I want a sports car, but won’t pay the money for it. Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them. Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the autumn. Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the autumn. Honda Accord - I pick my nose & flick the boogers at small children. Honda del Sol- See Ford StreetKA Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit. Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Honda CR-V - I’m a friend to the animals & I talk with my mouth full. Honda Jazz - I’m a train-spotter who’s been arrested several times for stalking the trains. Honda NSX - I’m stuck in the 80’s & never eat my greens. Hyundai Coupe - I still have acne, but honest it’s just the teenager in me trying to get out. Infiniti Q45- My job requires me to ensure every Jammy Dodger has no smaller than a 2cm Jam diameter. Isuzu Impulse- I don’t give a rip about Max Power or their reports. Isuzu Trooper - I fancy Dale Winton. Jaguar XJ6 - I’m so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Jaguar XK8 - I’m immature and have more money than brain cells. Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp. Kia Sportage - I consider Car Boot Sale purchases Antiques of the future. Lada Favourite - I’m a member of the Taliban seeking asylum in Great Britain. LandRover Discovery - I’m a rich mum, who can’t drive. Lexus LS400- I’m psychic, I knew they’d be as good as a Merc one day. Lotus Elise - I dance like an ape & I love watching porn. Lotas Elan - I go on 18-30’s holiday’s to see how the other half live! Lotus M250 - Definite liar!!** Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above) Mercedes SLK- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. Mazda MX5 - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18- wheeler. Mazda RX7 - I know how to treat myself. MGB- I am dating a mechanic. MGF - I’m too short to drive any other car. MGZR - I’m a computer geek & make mohair wigs as a hobby. MGZS - I’m a posh ginger who claims to be strawberry blonde. Mini - I’m from Essex, no more needs to be said. Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either. Mitsubishi Colt - I smell of cheese & shop in Liddles, Aldi’s, Pound stretcher etc. Mitsubishi Carisma - I have all the charm of a lion in captivity. Mitsubishi Evo 6 - I was an extra in Fast & the Furious (honest). Mitsubishi Evo 8 - See Nissan 350 Z. Mitsubishi Shogun - I’m insecure, eat steak for breakfast & I want a LandRover. Nissan Micra - I work for M&S, Tesco’s, Wallmart, etc. Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Nissan Primera - I design foe-fur naughty underwear for nuns. Nissan Skyline - I love speed and I don’t care who knows it, I also have a 3 page list of criminal convictions. Nissan Sunny - I talk too much & can handle a vindaloo with ease. Nissan Terrano - See Ford Maverick. Nissan 350Z - I’m a liar! * Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a, Peugeot 106 - I have the most independent and exciting life, I’m also vain & live in a dream world. Peugeot 205 - I hang on street corners at the weekends & keep a machete under my passenger seat. Peugeot 206 - I wash my car every weekend & I’m on my 2nd marriage. Peugeot 206cc - I’m two faced and will try and run all you wasters off the road. Peugeot 305 - I deliver pizzas for a living. Peugeot 307 - I’m an accountant, I’ve found a car that suites every purpose & no purpose at the same time. Peugeot 405 - I have a job in the civil service & play poker at the weekends. Peugeot 406 - My girlfriend has to wear Elizabeth Duke Jewellery so I can afford this car. Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on America’s Ten Most Wanted List. Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena. Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock. Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me. Porsche 911 - I have a small p*nis, my car is my subst*tute. Porsche Boxter - I still live with my mum & treat women like sh*t. Proton Impian - I have a pet raccoloured gentleman called Jimmy & prefer shift work. Renault Clio - I love my Daddy. Renault Laguna - I’m always drunk, drunk, drunk! Renault Megane - I’m a lottery winner honest, ok so I only got 5 numbers. Renault Scenic - I haven’t heard of contraception. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal. Rover Metro - I spend all day watching Friends & ER, I also like egg mayo and Tuna sandwiches. Rover 100 - I’m an OAP who always drives at least 20mph under the speed limit. Rover 200 - I’m too bland for German cars & I never pay my rent on time. Saab 9-5 - I definitely have more money than sense or taste. Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic) Seat Alhambra - I can’t cook, have rotten teeth & live on a council estate in Bromley. Seat Ibiza - I want to be model, but I have no chance unless I bed the photographer. Seat Leon - My boss hates, that’s why he gave me this as a company car. Skoda Fabia - I can’t afford a Volkswagen. Skoda Octavia - I wear Bart Simpson ties to impress . . . nobody! Smart Roadster - I collect Mars Bar wrappers, I have one dating back to 1948. Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more than a life. Subaru Impreza - I’m just a poser & I want to get shagged. Suzuki Vitara JLX - I’m a Barbie girl, in my Barbie world. Suzuki Gran Vitara - I laugh like a demented dog & wear my underwear inside out. Toyota Avensis - I’m a cabbie & have robbed many liquor stores. Toyota Camry- I wear my wife’s knickers. Toyota Corolla - I wear the same underwear all week long. Toyota MR2 - I’m far too old to be driving this, but at least the women I pull aren’t. Toyota Rav4 - See Suzuki Vitara JLX. Toyota Starlet - I like to be different & not in the good sense. Toyota Supra - I can do no wrong. Toyota Yaris - I’m a failed student; also see MGF. TVR Chimera -I’m blind and consider Fosters Ice a hard-nut drink. TVR Tuscan - I keep picking up mingers, once had a bird with 3 t*ts. Vauxhall Almera - I got to over 50’s nights for a social life. Vauxhall Astra - I’ve just got onto the property ladder. Vauxhall Corsa - I’m single, but at least I’m not a hairdresser. Vauxhall Frontera - I’m going through my mid-life crisis & want to own a Winnebago. Vauxhall Nova - Essex-boy-racer & drug-dealer, has had more speeding fines than hot dinners! Vauxhall Vectra - I’ve been a butcher, a baker & a candlestick maker. Vauxhall VX220 - I can’t see my feet, as my balls are too big. Volkswagen Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns. Volkswagen Golf- I am out of the closet. Volkswagen Golf Convertible - I’m still hiding in the closet, but one day. . . Volkswagen Microbus- I am tripping right now. Volkswagen Polo - I own my own salon, but use too much salt on my food. Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife. Volvo S40 - I’m getting a personalized plate to compensate for not having a Merc |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Czarskit(m): 10:36am On Mar 13, 2009 |
Did u really type out that stuff? If Yes, me thinks u really a job. A very boring one @ dat. . . |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 7:30pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
Czarskit:u ought 2 b glad Debosky just put a guilt on me with his angelic crap. So right now, i am behaving. If you only know what I have on my mind to tell u. Guess what? I am going to slowly walk away from this thread singing "Jesus loves me this I know" *sigh* shudda see this b4 reading debosky response. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr debosky ?? ?? ?? ?? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by dani1luv: 8:07pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
Poster you try Small |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 9:43pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
Hey Dani1luv Remember when you ask me this question? I googled and find the answer for you Enjoy your weekend
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Pataki: 9:46pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
What is this thread about again? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Moyola(f): 9:51pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
Eyes dey pepper me |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by oluwafemi113(m): 9:55pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
sorry can`t read all this next thread |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Nobody: 9:59pm On Mar 13, 2009 |
ummm, i dont even know man |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by oluwafemi113(m): 1:06am On Mar 14, 2009 |
really |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 12:53pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
*sigh* I'll like to know which bloodclaart idaat mod move dis ya thread to ya so? mekk dis ya tink a joke. . .cha mon ok, y'all want jokes, i'll give jokes. mekk fi ya'll nuh cry tired |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 1:10pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
ok, y'all want me in the joke section, hope y'all can take the nuisance behavior.
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 1:16pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
.
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 2:50pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
i would never buy a car
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 2:54pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
this is fun
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Moyola(f): 9:56pm On Mar 14, 2009 |
lol |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 7:17pm On Mar 15, 2009 |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by CrazyMan(m): 7:34pm On Mar 15, 2009 |
Hmmm |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by clemcykul(f): 12:24pm On Mar 16, 2009 |
@pics lol |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Epi: 11:03pm On Mar 16, 2009 |
;d
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Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 9:32am On Mar 17, 2009 |
hehehe! |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by clemcykul(f): 10:24am On Mar 17, 2009 |
whats funnie? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Abbygyal(f): 10:50am On Mar 17, 2009 |
@clem question @thread hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by clemcykul(f): 10:53am On Mar 17, 2009 |
hi abbie. how are u today? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 11:02am On Mar 17, 2009 |
clemcykul: You no fit understand the irony of it na! |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Abbygyal(f): 11:04am On Mar 17, 2009 |
i'm gd clems hwz ur tuesday goin? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by clemcykul(f): 11:22am On Mar 17, 2009 |
less busie in da office but very busie in Nld. how are your kids doing? |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by Abbygyal(f): 1:07pm On Mar 17, 2009 |
kids? oooops naa dun have any mahn |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by clemcykul(f): 11:36am On Mar 18, 2009 |
with that beautiful face of yours blessed with a well sculptured body? i will most definitely get u a man, cuss am really eager to be an uncle or aunt. |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 6:03pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
:d |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by dani1luv: 6:10pm On Mar 20, 2009 |
:d |
Re: *Edit* Car Jokes by D1KeleVra(m): 11:50am On Mar 21, 2009 |
errors! |
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