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Real Reason Most Men Gain Weight After Marriage! - Family - Nairaland

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Real Reason Most Men Gain Weight After Marriage! by DickDastardly(m): 8:05am On Aug 10, 2015
I won't bore you with lenghty stuff. Now straight to the point.
Most Guys are sexually hyperactive before marriage. You see some guys boasting about bleeping up to 3 or 4 times a day. Its also a thing of pride for unmarried guys to have as many bleeping partners as possible. All these are energy sapping and deplete the body of nutrients. Its even funny to note that guys feed better before marriage, as they go about munching all variety of nutritional stuff when compared to married men feeding regime of their wife's regular and predictable menu of soup and stew.
To help hit home this point, tiny hyperactive marsupial called antechinus sprints around mating almost non-stop for an exhausting three weeks, with single romps lasting as long as 14 straight hours. Relentlessly bound from partner to partner, as massive hormone releases in their bodies cause their immune systems to crash and their fur to fall out. They bleed internally. Some males even go blind, yet still stumble around the leaf litter hoping for one last tryst. In a few short weeks, every single male gets malnourished and lies dead.

Its safe to conclude that bachelors tend to be leaner due to excessive sex with different partners, unlike married men who engage in regulated not so frenzied sexual habit. Also refereeing the married man's sexual life is his wife's jealousy and his fear of being caught. So his sexual activity and loss of vital nutrients is controlled, hence his weight addition.
There maybe exceptions, but this is the major factor in most of the cases of weight gain after marriage in men.

Dr DickDastardly is a research Fellow of Repute in Sexual Matters

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Re: Real Reason Most Men Gain Weight After Marriage! by DickDastardly(m): 8:06am On Aug 10, 2015
Guys who wish to add weight before marriage should note and do the needful. cheesy

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Re: Real Reason Most Men Gain Weight After Marriage! by profbrightuzoma: 8:14am On Aug 10, 2015
My wife asked me why i gained weight i told her that searching for wife make guy go lean.
Re: Real Reason Most Men Gain Weight After Marriage! by therealdeal10: 8:21am On Aug 10, 2015
Op buh married men dat lyks sex a lot wouldn't gv a damn about dis ur opinion

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