Hello everybody, firstly I want to say that this is my very first post smiley

I am curious to see if this si a good place to get insight into a troubling situation that I am in. I am in my late 30's and have been with my wife for 4 years. we are very happy but are not able to have children.

We have been trying for a while but now we need to get help, there is too much information on Google to know what is good info and what is not, so I am asking all of you. hope you can help.

We have not been to any clinic, only to our GP. there is talk about adoption... IUI, IVF, it seems a bit overwhelming, can you tell me from experience what you would suggest we do...

if we have to we will consider adoption

what do you think/
God Bless

Hi,

If you have the money, go for IVF and if that does not work you may settle for legal adoption

Go your separate. Ways

I'd say try adoption first.

IVF is usually more expensive (running into millions) and success rate not always 100percent. In fact way less than 100%. You may be dismayed if you spend all that money and the embryo doesn't implant.

The upside to it is that you're present to experience the pregnancy and go through your baby's prenatal development at each stage. (if your wife is going to carry it herself). Or even if you're using a surrogate.

But an adopted baby is just as good a child as any. The upside being that you don't spend money without getting a baby in return. And of course you don't spend as much as you would if you opted for IVF.

The first step is to know what the problem is by running tests- you and your wife.Have you done that?
That is what will determine what option is best for you.

IVF would ve been a good or even better option than adoption.

Adoption looks good from a distance but when you do go down that lane, you'll see its not as watertight as most people think.
Most times, the one adopting may not be as patient with the flaws of d adopted child as they would be with their own.

thank you for the insight,

My wife and I are still going to investigate the IVF option

cococandy:
I'd say try adoption first.

IVF is usually more expensive (running into millions) and success rate not always 100percent. In fact way less than 100%. You may be dismayed if you spend all that money and the embryo doesn't implant.

The upside to it is that you're present to experience the pregnancy and go through your baby's prenatal development at each stage. (if your wife is going to carry it herself). Or even if you're using a surrogate.

But an adopted baby is just as good a child as any. The upside being that you don't spend money without getting a baby in return. And of course you don't spend as much as you would if you opted for IVF.

Emmanuel1976:
thank you for the insight,

My wife and I are still going to investigate the IVF option

All the best

We are busy looking at the various routes that we can go down.

we are very nervous about the emotional and financial concerns with the IVF strategy....

thorpido:
The first step is to know what the problem is by running tests- you and your wife.Have you done that?
That is what will determine what option is best for you.

I think you should try the IVF option first which will be after you have conducted the necessary tests for yourself and your wife and there are no other options aside adoption. There are hospitals that run promos once or twice a year. just try to find out and be prayerful and positive about it.
Wish you all the best

Try the IVf first if it's important for you to have a biological child, if you just want a child to love adoption Is good. With IVf if you wife has a problem carrying pregnancies to term you can look for a surrogate using your wives eggs and your sperm that will make sure the surrogate can't take your baby since you'll have no biological link to the child and no court will grant her legal custody. If it's your sperms there are ways to increase that or else you can use an anonymous sperm donor. Either way first verify exactly what the fertility problems in a reputable ferlity clinic and they will be able to advice you on your best options. If you are doing surrogacy or adoption make sure you have a good lawyer and everything is iron clad .

Good will surely give you your desired number of children, something's miracles happen in unconventional ways your child will always be your child and it won't matter in the end how it happened.

Emmanuel1976:
We are busy looking at the various routes that we can go down.

we are very nervous about the emotional and financial concerns with the IVF strategy....

You didn't answer my question of whether both of you have done tests and you know what exactly the challenge is.

There is an IVF thread under Health section.
Its a community you can share your concerns there.

https://www.nairaland.com/773873/anyone-trying-ivf-iui-icsi/167

Why would you want to even try any option first without having a fertility specialist check you guys out? Have them run fertility checks on you, it could be the minutest of reasons that is delaying your conception. After that, you can decide what option is best for you. I'm surprised you have not been seeing a specialist

THIS OP SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR...