Pastor Adeboye's private jet
By Ebenezer Obadare

MEDIA reports that the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) has purchased a private jet worth almost N4 billion (different news sources have quoted different figures) for its General Overseer, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, have provoked a minor public storm. I am of the opinion that the matter ought to be utilized as an opportunity to bring to the table and open up for discussion broader issues centering on the relationship between religion and society in Nigeria.

In proceeding, I think it is only fair that I declare my bona fides: I am, of course, hardly a believer, but as a student of society, especially its postcolonial African type, I take religion very seriously; and like many African public intellectuals, especially those of a humanistic temperament, I am genuinely alarmed at the way in which Pentecostal Christianity has run riot in Nigeria. If religiosity in general comes with the capacity to numb the intellect, the brand of Christianity that has been on the ascendance in our country for the past decade and more fosters a certain incuriousness that borders on total intellectual surrender. Beyond this piece therefore, my project is to see how we might begin to advance the cause of intellectual skepticism in our country, with the ultimate aim of reclaiming the public sphere of critical deliberation, and our common understanding of public morality, from the forces of religious superstition.

So, what are the issues that, I suggest, demand our attention? The first critical issue, to my mind, is what both the decision of the Redeemed hierarchy to purchase a private jet, and the Redeemed Church itself as an institution, tell us about both the Nigerian state, and the state of things in Nigeria. For the truth of the matter is that in its practices and dynamics, the Redeemed Church itself has become an expression of the Nigerian state. In the current configuration, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Pastor Adeboye, operates more or less like a megaphone of the state, and these days, it is no coincidence that he is more likely to be seen mixing it with the political elite (governors, ministers, the vice president, the president), than with ordinary members of the Nigerian public. Such is the social proximity between the Redeemed Church and the state elite that the Redeemed Christian Church of God has virtually become the Redeemed Christian Church of State. Pastor Adeboye, in a dynamic that works quite well for the state and serves the ends of holders of political power, attends their (office holders') birthday ceremonies, blesses their respective families, and, at the end of each year, unfailingly prophesies positive things for the country they so spectacularly misgovern.

How has it come to this? How did we arrive at a situation where a man who was (and in some quarters, still is) widely respected for his personal austerity and moral courage, has now become the handmaiden of political power? And why does he now acquiesce in a decision to buy a N4billion private jet in a country with 80 percent youth unemployment, and where the majority of the population (including most of his own congregation) continues to wallows in absolute immiseration?

Part of the answer-and this is my second point- has to be found in the evolution and transformation of Nigerian Christianity in general, and the Redeemed Church in particular. I think it is fair to say that both are actually imbricated, and that to a large extent, the transformation of the RCCG from a backstreet church to a global brand (yes, brand) mirrors key developments in the evolution of Nigerian Christianity. The crucial milestones in the development of the Redeemed Church, and the important role played in it by the mathematician-turned-pastor, Enoch Adejare Adeboye, are now available in the public domain, so I will not allow it to detain me here. For the sake of clarity and because of its centrality to the argument I am trying to make here, I want to highlight the (Redeemed) Church's passage through three distinct, though quite inseparable, moments.

The first was the early period when the Church was literally under the spell of the austere pietism of its founder, the Reverend Josiah Akindayomi. During that period, the Redeemed Church, with its emphasis on a rigorous, no frills personal regime for its members, was very similar to what the Deeper Life Bible Church was- and still largely is. The unflattering apothegm, Ijo Elekun (literally, the church of the grieving) is recalled here as a testament to the perceived doctrinal severity of this early period. This image was to change with the ascendance of Pastor Adeboye in 1981- and the Church's rapid transition into a new era. The significance of Pastor Adeboye's ascendance lay in the departure from this somber model and the development of a new, less abstemious, theological outlook for the Church. We now live in a critical third moment in which that model has apparently triumphed.

The problem of course is that in taking its message to the world, the Redeemed Church has also, almost predictably, taken in a considerable part of the world. Today's Redeemed Church, with more than 6,000 parishes worldwide, is no doubt a successful religious brand, but like all brands, it has had to forge all sorts of shabby accommodations with corporatist 'sponsors' and 'the rulers of this world'. This is why, today, it has become difficult separating the leaf of the Church, from the soap of the world it was established, and still purports to, transform. Obvious material success, and a fatal conflation of ethos with corporations and politicians means that the Church that redefined Biblical economics (at least in this part of the world), is now in clear danger of being consumed by its creation.

But this is not just a problem that is unique to the Redeemed Church alone, and it is imperative- my final point- that we properly understand the broader formation in which the Adeboyes and Oyedepos of this world, and other members of what, elsewhere, I have described as a 'theocratic class', are produced by, and themselves reproduce, the logic (and illogics) of the postcolonial Nigerian state.

Because space is at a premium, I will flag this issue by posing a single question: Where did the RCCG get the money (N4b) to buy a private jet? Partly, no doubt, from the sale of the Redeemed 'franchise' and the fruits of its amorous affair with the state elite. And where does state money in Nigeria come from? Oil of course. So, the point is that the material preservation and sustenance of the political elite and the theocratic class in Nigeria are traceable to the same source, and to the extent that oil extraction in Nigeria is subtended by the logic of plunder, the (Redeemed) Church in Nigeria is directly implicated in it. It partly explains why the religious elite (with a few distinguished exceptions) is loathe to antagonize the state, and it comes as no surprise that, as in the current instance, the leading lights of the Pentecostal class, have adopted one of the worst aspects of the political elite's rampant consumerism.


Dr. Obadare is an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Kansas, United States

Tools

Many of these pastors are common criminals that should be jailed for "extorting under the influence".

samorijack:

Pastor Adeboye's private jet
By Ebenezer Obadare

Because space is at a premium, I will flag this issue by posing a single question: Where did the RCCG get the money (N4b) to buy a private jet? Partly, no doubt, from the sale of the Redeemed 'franchise' and the fruits of its amorous affair with the state elite. And where does state money in Nigeria come from? Oil of course. So, the point is that the material preservation and sustenance of the political elite and the theocratic class in Nigeria are traceable to the same source, and to the extent that oil extraction in Nigeria is subtended by the logic of plunder, the (Redeemed) Church in Nigeria is directly implicated in it. It partly explains why the religious elite (with a few distinguished exceptions) is loathe to antagonize the state, and it comes as no surprise that, as in the current instance, the leading lights of the Pentecostal class, have adopted one of the worst aspects of the political elite's rampant consumerism.


Dr. Obadare is an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Kansas, United States

Kai! This guy yarn solid for here biko. This guy really yarn. I troway salute for my guy!

The writer obviously prefers RCCG to have remained in poverty and penury so that he can laugh and write about the worn out shoes and torn trousers of the Clergy.
Whether Preachers are poor or rich, quiet or noisy, wining & dining or fasting & praying, the naysayers are always going to have something negative to write about!

A private jet for the Head of an organization with 6000 branches in maybe over 80 countries, to me shouldn't be an issue!

If you know the International speaking schedules of many of these men, you would understand that a private jet is a necessity.

@PapaBrowne

I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD READ THE ARTICLE AGAIN. THE LOGIC IS FLAWLESS AND I CAN SE THE TRUTH ISPUNCHING YOU IN THE GUTS, DEAL WITH IT!!!

THE POINT IS BUYING A PRIVATE JET NOW IS AN IRRESPONSIBLE USE OF MONEY, AGINST THE BACKGTROUND OF ENDEMIC POVERTY NOT ONLT AMONGST NIGERIANS BUT WITHIN THE RCCG FLOCK.

ADEBOYE IN HIS HEART OF HEARTS I'M SURE KNOWS HE HAS GOOFFED, THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS WORLDWIDE THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SPLURGE AND I'M STILL WAITNG FOR A DAY WHEN THE RCCG AND OTHER CAPITALIST CHRISTIANS WILL SPEND A GREATER PERCENTAGE OF THEIR WEALTH AND INCOME ON THE POOR AND NEEDY IN OUR SOCIEY UNTIL THEN SHAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ON THE WHOLE LOT

@Samorijack
I read it and it is a very interesting article. However, I disagree that it is a logical write-up!
What truth is punching me in the face? I am not a pentecostal preacher!

I have two points I'm trying to show you
[b]1)[/b]An On-Demand leader heading such a large organisation, whether it's a church, mosque, company or institution and having to be in as much places at the same time is the simple reason private jets are made! In most cases they are a neccesity and not a luxury!

[b]2)[/b]If RCCG members have chosen not to complain,and despite their knowledge of the purchase of the Jet, would happily give even more money next sunday, why do you and perhaps the writer take it upon yourself to fight on their behalf?
The truth is most members, both rich and poor on hearing of the purchase, would celebrate it!

The thing is this, whether the preacher gives all his money to the poor or uses it to buy a private jet, the naysayers are always going to criticize him as either too stupid and poor or too flamboyant and rich!

Pastor Eunuch and his ilk are nothing but glorified daylight robbers who, rather than exploit the fear of death to separate victims from their money at gunpoint like their traditionally armed counterparts, have developed extremely lucrative careers by invoking the fear of an imaginary, conceptualized hellfire, coupled with the bogus promise of purchaseable heavenly bliss, AFTER DEATH, in order to extract money from their spellbound and deeply hypnotized flock of both rich and impoverished victims.

Unlike Robin Hood of the old English folk tale, who stole from the rich to help the poor, Pastor Eunuch Adeboye steals from everyone that is gullible and desperate enough to walk in through the door of his indoctrination factory, whose orderly rows of cavernous cattle sheds, from a distance, bear an eerie resemblance to the death camps of Auschwitz and Belsen, Adolf Hitler's extermination factories where an attempt was made to obliterate the Jewish race in Nazi-occupied Europe.  While Adolf Hitler sought the physical extermination of a human race, Pastor Eunuch ultimately seeks the intellectual extermination of an entire race of entranced "believers", for it is that cognitive vacuum which presents an optimum environment in which to perpetuate his program of systematic, industrialized plunder and personal enrichment.

GOat Pastor Eunuch AdeJALE Adeboye.

If that 4billion was spent to construct a new highway to link Redemption camp to Lagoos and reduce traffic of fridays would have been much better But he is trying to live his thieving fantasies.

Another thief

OBJ's right hand man. Maybe he got connections through OBJ. Show me any community  that has developed through religion, I will  show you thousands of cities that have sprung through industrialization. To work is to pray.

GOat Pastor Eunuch AdeJALE Adeboye.

If that 4billion was spent to construct a new highway to link Redemption camp to Lagoos and reduce traffic of fridays would have been much better But he is trying to live his thieving fantasies.

Another thief

dayokanu,
during the time of Christ, the highest means of transportation was horse. Christ himself rode on a horse and if by commission or omission here we call these men, men of God, i do not see anything wrong in owing or using aircrafts in their missionnary works.

these are men who through the works of God have changed lives and give hope to the hopeless. living good life will even encourage people to serve living God.

i for once enjoin these men of God to even own yatches as long as they are to the glory of God.

Praise the Loot, but worship the looter with every last dime you ever earned !

It might interest all the Adeboye and penticostal apologists to note that, on the Pope's recent trip to Africa he arrived the continent on an Alitalia chartered flight, he does not need and does not have a private Jet even though he can afford TO.

I have bee a long time devotee of Adeboye but of recent my eyes have opened and I can see that Adeboye and the like are just men who have develped a thrist for power and and an un controllable appetite for rhe finer things of this world, which by their own account will burn in fire eventually.

Any body who can hob-nob with the very recalsitrant political elite and to the detriment of his or her own objectivity and better judgment is nothing but a politician and Adeboye is no different, he will do just fine in the PDP. SHAME ON HIM AND THE LIKE

@samorijack
This Subject Matter has been flogged and over flogged on this forum with attendant derogatory words passed accross board.
I abstained all along from commenting on it but now I feel I should say something about it.
JUDGE NOT SO THAT THOU SHALL NOT BE JUDGED, leave Adeboye to The Almighty One and face the problems that battle us as a nation.
No man Can escape Divine Judgement,It may be delayed but it is never denied.

A private jet for the Head of an organization with 6000 branches in maybe over 80 countries, to me shouldn't be an issue!

another diatribe ,utter nonsense from this papabrowne, you see this nowadays churches springing up in affluent countries, USA, Britain , etc. what of Uganda, Saudi Arabia, Omar, Rwanda, Mali, let them breakdown barriers and forray into the unknown, well maybe that is wht the jet is allabout, i  abhor ALL religious worshipping in all there ramifications, never been to one and never will i be to one till i die.

@ IFELEKE

There's a difference between Judging and having an objective opinion on an issue.

IFELEKE:

@samorijack
This Subject Matter has been flogged and over flogged on this forum with attendant derogatory words passed accross board.
I abstained all along from commenting on it but now I feel I should say something about it.
JUDGE NOT SO THAT THOU SHALL NOT BE JUDGED, [b]leave Adeboye to The Almighty One and face the problems that battle us as a nation.[/b]No man Can escape Divine Judgement,It may be delayed but it is never denied.

God is way too busy to contribute to this discussion, so until that changes and He makes an appearance here, those of us who wish to comment about thievery in the name of God will do so, while those with infinite patience who would rather wait till hell freezes over are more than welcome to maintain that dignified silence till they are blue in the face.

So private jets are meant only for thieving politicians and crude business people that made their monies by embezelling what belongs to me and you.

Private jets are part of good things from God and should be enjoyed more by His children. I know how much my small church spends on welfare and charity monthly not to talk about RCCG, whose own should run into billions yearly. And these charity and welfare programme go unnoticed by the press but the one that they will be quick to publise is acquisition of private jet by RCCG.

The earth is the LORD'S and the fullness therefore. So it is better for sinners and children of the bond woman to enjoy what our God has provided to make live easy.

reality4us:

Private jets are part of good things from God and should be enjoyed more by His children.

No chit ? I knew God had many talents, but I must confess that His reputation as a donor of luxury jet aircraft to the Chosen Few is news to me. I need to get in on this God action QUICK.

I believe I can fly
I believe I can score
Pour your money through my open door
So I can spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can fly.

The thing for me is: In a nation where millions are starving, no man of this supposed "god" should care about a N4billion private jet. He also has a school which school fees is as high that of elite schools in North America and Europe. How are all these going to help members of the church?.


People are submitting their collectivity for all the wrong reasons. If people could pay tithe and offerings to humanity in the name of helping the society, we won't be where we are today. We would be thousands of years ahead. Take out that "god" factor and let people contribute for the sake of helping and not upkeep of a church. All the money they get from people are theirs no matter what. If Adeboye decides to buy a mansion in Malibu and a beach house in Hawaii, guess what? We'll just complain, there is nothing we can do about it cause it's his organization and he started it for whatever reason he liked. Peace

What really is the issue here? Is it the amount spent on purchasing the jet or the necessity of the jet itself?

In my own candid opinion, there is nothing wrong in owning a private jet if it satisfies what it was meant for. i can be a Armchair critic over the use of money that is not mine. May God bless his people!!

I think we should tread with caution especially utterances emitting from our mouth on issues of this nature.
Without being a member of RCCG, i'm quite aware that it's one of the churches with the largest parishes in the world.
It's members are numerous also. All the storm raised so far still leaves me in state of ''what is the fuss all about''?
I mean, Pastor Adeboye's schedule demands that a private aircraft be allocated to him to meet up with his flock.

By the way, who are we, mere mortals to judge actions of fellow mortals? Where do we leave God?

Jakumo:

God is way too busy to contribute to this discussion, so until that changes and He makes an appearance here, those of us who wish to comment about thievery in the name of God will do so, while those with infinite patience who would rather wait till hell freezes over are more than welcome to maintain that dignified silence till they are blue in the face.

Seek caution Jakumo,don't thread the path of blasphemy on this subject matter.
Face and tackle your gluttonic leaders who rob and rape your economy blind on a daily basis and still go about rubbing it on your face.
Adeboye works for God let his Employer judge Him. . .
We have problems of bigger magnitude battling us as a nation,tackle that one and stop over blowing trivialities

@ post,
I find it extremely surprising that elites can spend enviable tym condemning the acquisition of a private jet by RCCG.
does being a man of God mean one should continually live in discomfort or penury? we are all human and our optimum desires either religious or not is to have/own the good things of life. Hw many people were there when the top echelon and pastorate of the RCCG were sowing tym, money, devotion and love to develop the ministry? What are the attributes of a growing ministry? he deserves a better reward. he has been a source of motivation to a whole lot of people. hw many of those throwing abusive and vituperous aspersions at Adeboye's person know him or have had the opportunity to relate with him on a one to one basis? thus why judge? why draw conclusions? we should be emotional as human beings bt not quick to outrightly condemn people.

Many have said he fraternises with politicians because they attend services at the camp; does dat mean if they choose to attend the holy ghost services they should be turned back? sinners should be welcome to the house of the Lord, else there will be no need for an altar call. it is a plus dat dese men once in a while deem it fit to worship God. someday, someone amongst dem will be convicted rite dere and den.

I am not defiant to good suggestions like a poster stated that a new highway can be constructed to connect the camp to lagos to ease traffic flow. This will be laudable by all if planned into church activities as giving back to the society where they belong.

Irrespective of our judgements, I want to key ino the testimony of the RCCG and the General Overseer Pastor Adeboye. I pray the oil of grace which flows through the man of God will fill every entirety of me to do greater works. I pray to be a source of blessing to many others and also grow financially without bounds. Own private jets in the nearest future . Man cannot bless man. The poor will forever remain amongst us. But His favour and grace through time and chance will get us there. (Amen)

Per adventure the otherwise is the case; as in Pastor Adeboye is not of God or he has lost focus of the original calling, I pray for the Holy Spirit to redeem his soul and return him to His kingdom.

I aint a saint. I need a lot of spiritual rejuvenation thus I cant even afford to cast a stone.

Seek caution Jakumo,don't thread the path of blasphemy on this subject matter.
Face and tackle your gluttonic leaders who rob and rape your economy blind on a daily basis and still go about rubbing it on your face.
Adeboye works for God let his Employer judge Him. . .
We have problems of bigger magnitude battling us as a nation,tackle that one and stop over blowing trivialities

Bros,
I thank you there.
to paraphrase Fela: 'Na so African man life be, suffer don dabaru im sense'
People dey yarn like say na their money RCCG take buy jet.
Questions:
-is it okay for IBB to own a private jet? Cos I never seen any such thread, even though I know for a fact that he has one.
-is it okay for the GMD NNPC to have a private jet? Cos I also know for a fact that there is an official jet of similar spec to the RCCG jet attached to that function.
-was it okay for OBJ to buy the Boeing Business Jet at 100bn plus, even though it was never delivered (to the best of my knowledge)?
-Is it okay for other certified government and allied looters (Dangote, Otedola, etc, etc) to own private jets (because they do o!)?

Adeboye is head of an organization, RCCG, and is answerable only to the trustees of that organization. Also, the jet was not bought by him, but by the organization. That is the problem of the organization, not for general consumption by the general public, and that includes the idle academic in the States who wrote that article. The problem be say, as a religious leader, everybody feels the need to comment about everything he does.
I've always wondered how come the non-members of the said RCCG are the ones raising the most dust about this jet. When your leaders are there buying not only jets but islands, oil fields and what have you. Nobody has anything to say. Instead some people will cite them as the most innovative businessmen in Nigeria. How laughable. Nigeria must be the only country where you become a super-billionaire by selling car stereos to top military men, a la Adenuga. N una sabi.

@ post

any body that think spendin 4billion in a jet at this jucture is wise well as a true nigerian got to check himself in mental hospital!!



do u know how many wealthy people out there that wouldnt get themselves in that mess.

with people like that man of god, my ass, me said man of slavery-mentality

with that money u can still build and expand like some one said the road his affilates jam-up every sunday in lagos

build world standard hospital that can afffordably takcle diseases head-on in nigeria

there are many things he could do with that money which will surely go down in line of the bible

if god decide to speak out now, that so called man of god ha probably will get it!!

with people like your so called man of god , should in case u wondering  the reason nigeria is in such a mess, hahha 2nite i can say is the answer

And for those die hard appologist, church of england will never do that, they actually contribute in repairing the moralities damage etc  in uk

man of god well it depend on which one cuz there are many out there

god of money? right

dayokanu,
during the time of Christ, the highest means of transportation was horse. Christ himself rode on a horse and if by commission or omission here we call these men, men of God, i do not see anything wrong in owing or using aircrafts in their missionnary works.

these are men who through the works of God have changed lives and give hope to the hopeless. living good life will even encourage people to serve living God.

i for once enjoin these men of God to even own yatches as long as they are to the glory of God.

@ Chdichris,

Christ did not ride on any horse. As a matter of fact, his means of transport on the day of triumphal entry displayed his humility which your flamboyant, vain preachers conveniently chose to ignore.

Christ could have opted to ride on a golden chariot of horses, given his entourage and status among his followers, but what did he do ? He chose to ride on a DONKEY. That was his highest display of luxury in his lifetime.

Nobody is saying that preachers should live as paupers, but for goodness sake 4 vehicles at any one time are more than sufficient for any pastor. One for himself, one for the wife ,one for the children and one spare. I am being very generous here given that we are spending other people's money here and not their money .

Private jet is a luxury that people should enjoy with their own money and not with money that was handed over in good faith for ministry.

Don't even tell me that private jet makes his life easier because it doesn't. He can't just take off and land as he pleases as he needs to obtain clearance for both. He will buy aviation fuel, pay taxes for landing, pay parking fees, pay pilot, pay engineers for maintenance etc. He may as well book himself a first class ticket for the trouble and that works out to be a lot cheaper.

Gordon Brown travels on BA.

In fact those guys are thieves and will burn in hell, even more than Abacha and co because, these other people did not steal in God's name.

What I know very well is that RCCG has quietly done so much that has touched the lives of masses but they don't  advertise them. I know the Church runs a welfare/charity scheme and millions of people have benefited from them.

Adedoye's schedule no doubt requires a jet to ferry him round the globe for his ministerial work. Is private jet a bad thing or not? If not why do we not make any fuss when people steal public money and buy jets but we make all sorts of nasty comments when God's servants buy it.

The issue I want us to know is that RCCG has spent more billions in charity and humanitarian work than the cost of this so called private jet. They will continue to spend more in the years to come.

reality4us:

So private jets are meant only for thieving politicians and crude business people that made their monies by embezelling what belongs to me and you.

Private jets are part of good things from God and should be enjoyed more by His children. I know how much my small church spends on welfare and charity monthly not to talk about RCCG, whose own should run into billions yearly. And these charity and welfare programme go unnoticed by the press but the one that they will be quick to publise is acquisition of private jet by RCCG.

The earth is the LORD'S and the fullness therefore. So it is better for sinners and children of the bond woman to enjoy what our God has provided to make live easy.

This guy I quoted is more INTELLIGENT than the so-called Nigerian professor who critisized Adeboye for buying an ordinary jet.

[b]Have you considered how unimaginably busy people like Adeboye are? These are people make direct influence on millions of people on a weekly basis. They impact more lives and are more popular than the presidents of their countries. Their presidents cruise in jets while they queue at international airports. Its not fair. These great men are booked in 3years and more. I.e If you check their dairies, they have booked almost every available time for programmes which entail lots of travels beyond the Nigerian shores.

I am highly elated that Adeboye finally agreed to buy a real jet. Nobody talked when he repeatedly complained about the physical harassment repeatedly meted on him whenever he travelled, at a time, they had to search him to the privates, drilled him with questions and other dehumanizing acts. It was on the media. With a jet, you dont need to say too much.

Can you imagine that the Ministry of Tourism recently released a report that the greater percentage of tourists to Nigeria are 'Religeous Tourists' that is, they come here to receive divine visitation-- to be blessed by men of God like Adeboye. In other words, Nigeria receives income on their influences.[/b]

father ab:

Nobody talked when he repeatedly complained about the physical harassment repeatedly meted on him whenever he travelled, at a time, they had to search him to the privates, drilled him with questions and other dehumanizing acts. It was on the media. With a jet, you dont need to say too much.

You're God damn right that customs officers in the West need to search the testicles and stinky anus of Pastor Eunuch to see if he might be trying to smuggle in coke, heroin or laundered cash.  I am elated to hear this delightful news about the vigilance of Western authorities when it comes to private jets full of Nigerian swindlers.   Hell yeah they ought to search and humiliate that greedy fat phuck, Adeboye ANYTIME he sets foot out of his third-world criminal safe haven in Nigeria.

And if you think, sir,  that the occupants of private jets are EXEMPT from customs and immigration scrutiny, then you must also believe in Santa Klaus and the Tooth Fairy.  You will no doubt be very saddened to hear that private aircraft, being one of the favored means of transport deployed by traffickers in narcotics, illegal weapons and laundered cash, are ALWAYS subjected to INTENSE, microscopic-level searches with sniffer dogs and lots of big mufuggus in crisp uniforms who would would gladly slam-dunk your thieving tin god pastor into a cold jail cell faster than you can cut a fart after a meal of Mexican burritos.