Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting - Family - Nairaland
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| Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by oyindaries: 12:13pm On Mar 29, 2009 |
hello nairalanders i need your help,my husband and my mum have been at each other throat for the past two years, to be honest my husband is at fault, but he really does not think so, and he actually thinks i am against him.i have tried to explain to him that he needs to show more respect to his inlaws but he totally disagrees, abeg, answer this question for me WHICH OF THE INLAWS SHOULD RESPECT WHO MORE to be honest he called my mum a witch and i said some pretty nasty things to him as well, he does not have parents anymore , but he is close to his junior sister, whom i told a little home truth when she insulted my mother. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by invisible2(m): 6:45pm On Mar 29, 2009 |
I think it will help if you tell us the whole story, what was the first issue about and what led to the issue being aggravated. I do not think any set of inlaws have any more importance over each other. Your mum should leave your family alone to go manage her own home, ditto his younger ones. Get married to your husband and take sides with him in public, only advice him on his stands in private. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Sissy3(f): 7:21pm On Mar 29, 2009 |
there is no in law who deserves more respect or disrespect. every in law deserves respect from their in law, every one of them is equally important |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by oyindaries: 1:49pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
The whole story is that my mum said no when my husband said i should give my passport to his sister that was when the problem started. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by hotstuff06(f): 2:39pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
No one deserves more respect than the other. Adults should respect each other period Your hubby asked u to give ur passport to his sister, is this to travel? If it is, u should have talked about it with ur hubby, ur mum did not need to get involved in it. There are some things u straighten out with ur hubby that no one needs to know about, especially ones parents. Just the talk of it being illegal and u not wanting to get involved is enough for him to understand and if he doesn't that is his own cup of tea. You still did not have to tell ur mama about it. He shouldn't have called her a witch either. But hey, we still don't get the full picture of what happened. You mother might have been out of the line too. Your mum should have backed off and not even said anything to him about this issue. If you even talked to her about it, she should have adviced you on what you could do to get your hubby to agree with you but not for her to get on him about it. I'm sure that is what pissed ur hubby off. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by spikedcylinder: 2:48pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
oyindaries: But how does your mum get a say in things that concern you and your passport? How did she even know? I'm guessing if it were the other way round, you'd accuse him of being a mummy's boy?  |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by hotstuff06(f): 3:41pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
I'm guessing if it were the other way round, you'd accuse him of being a mummy's boy? [/color][quote][/quote] My exact thoughts, Poster, u have to amend with ur hubby, ur mum should not be involved in this issue. If you know your mum is a woman that will talk when small issues like this arise, then make sure she knows nothing that goes on in your marriage. She is meant to give you advice and not to open her mouth and talk to your husband or even act like she knows what is going on. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Outstrip(f): 7:46pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
I think we are overlooking a few things here. Did he call your mother a witch to her face. It is wrong either way. I have issues with my in laws but I would never tell my husband that his mother is a witch. That is just too much. Being abusive to your mother in law is way out of line. As far as the passport issue I also do not see why her mother should not comment if she happened to know about it. Some people depend on their parents for guidance and this is not an intimate marital issue. If she was getting pressure from her husband and sister in law to do something illegal then there is absolutely nothing wrong in her seeking guidance. It is better to ask her mother that to carry it outside. Maybe if her mother had not stood her ground she would have given in to the pressure from her husband and sis in law. I am glad your mom talked sense into you. If they want to call your mother a witch over that then let them. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by oyindaries: 10:01pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
when my husband came back from nigeria , he asked me to give his sister my passport which i said no to,he was upset about it and said things like afterall if not for him i would not have had one, which i totally disagreed with.but because he had been on the edge since he came back , everything i did was not right, he hit me,which resulted in taking out a tooth, that was how my mum found out about it the passport issue .my mum did not fight with him over this but instead adviced us, but my husband would hear none of it, in short everything got out of hand. He did not call my mum a witch to her face , it was directed at me instead.To be honest all this has made me so angry with him.i have tried talking to him but he insist he has done nothing wrong which makes it more annoying. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Treetop20(m): 10:04pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
oyindaries:i really do not think your husband has any respect for you that explains why he hits you and talks to you however he deems fit! |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by tope2000(f): 10:12pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
oyindaries: As ur husband been disrespectful to ur mum before u married him?? Chei . , No man, i repeat NO MAN will ever be disrespectful to any member of my family n then marry him  |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Hauwa1: 10:51pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
next time if he does, call the cops! NO to violence lady. patapata he goes to jail and you drop the case but a warning is important. i agree with Treetop, seems not to have respect for you. why should he encourage you to do something illegal? NO way don't do it. does not matter if he was the one that made you to have your papers etc. he should respect and love you. the reason your mom came into the pic is understandable. stand your ground (no to illegal ways). carry on with life and apart from the no to the passport, continue to play your role as his wifey. he should know better and respect your mom. stay good to him but if he messes up, lady you know your onion |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Pataki: 10:57pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
*Hauwa*:Once upon a time, I read the post of a nairaland member named *Hauwa*, who never liked the idea of ladies ''knowing their onions''. How times change.  |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Hauwa1: 11:04pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
Pataki mi   , what did i do to you now?i don't support hussy or bf hitting on a woman at all. you quote me really i mean she knows what to do when he lays his hands on her. call the cops!how is your day sha, hope good |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Nobody: 11:04pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
Hauwa sharrap with that "call the cops" nonsense. You don reach yankee now na "call the cops" be your new national anthem. When you dey nigeria who you dey call? It is obvious why the husband is not happy, his wife obtained a foreign passport basically through marriage to him all of a sudden she and her mum have now grown wings abi? If not for him would she have the passport she is refusing to give out? For him to hit you, you must have said something pretty nasty to him which you agreed to here - which i totally disagreed with Like spikey said - how did her mother get to know of such a disagreement? Because of a lost tooth? I dont support ur husband hitting you but it seems you are growing above your station now that he has uplifted your status. You don get foreign passport now you could care less about him or his sister abi? One of the reasons men are better off finding wives outside the country who have their own passports and are not depending on you . . . |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Hauwa1: 11:06pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
| lol at David you sef oh David pls don't say that she has grown wings because she got her papers. the guy started the problem by asking his lady to do something ilegal. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by Nobody: 11:46pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
and so her response was to start flapping her newly acquired wings? |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by spikedcylinder: 7:14am On Apr 07, 2009 |
He hit you? Thats a whole different story.  Please, seek the face of God. |
| Re: Which Of The Inlaws Should Respect Who More In A Nigeria Setting by TOYOSI20(f): 7:16am On Apr 07, 2009 |
I completely agree wid Sissy on this one. . . .i don't think one should be paid homage to more over the other. . . .  Both the mother and father in law should be given an equal amount of respect. . . it is very possible tho to be closer to one than the other Which is totally fine!! |
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