Are you having a hard time making the right impression at work? Do you need to get ahead at work? Well, I have just the right advise for you! Follow these funny, yet indisputably useful office pointers and you will soon see results.

Please note, these office rules are funny and not to be taken too seriously. Enjoy!

1. Always look irritated, impatient and annoyed

Do you want to avoid being hassled by co-workers or management? Always try to maintain an irritated or annoyed expression on your face throughout the day. Act as though you are on a deadline and cannot afford to be disturbed. This implies you are busy and in the middle of something important (even if you’re not!)

2. Walk with purpose!

Never, ever walk casually from one office or desk to the other – this just looks like you are slacking off work. You need to look purposeful so others believe you have reason to get up and move away from your desk. In reality, you could just be off to CHAT with your colleague, but if you walk there like you mean it, people will never suspect!

3. Keep your desk messy

Have you not heard that messy is the new busy? Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Therefore, stack your table high, even if you are a neat freak at home, trust me, you’ll need a messy desk at work. A messy desk simply shows you have work piled up to your eyeballs and are flooded with tasks to get through; therefore no-one will want to bother you!

4. Type on your computer whenever someone walks by

Even if you are researching something important or just staring at the screen of the PC, unless you are typing away furiously at your keyboard, it won’t look like you are actually working! Type and look engrossed in what you are doing. (Just don’t draw too much attention!)

5. Always carry one or two documents around with you

This is a renowned tactic to having that look of a hard worker. For all your colleagues know, you could be carrying around blank papers! Remember, walk briskly, with an irritated look on your face, and carry a few DOCUMENTSwith you, and you will most definitely look the part!

6. Smile at the boss, always

Irrespective of how miffed you are at the boss, always give him or her a smile and a nod of the head. This shows a level of respect (even if you are cursing them under your breath!)

7. Send emails at unearthly hours

Do you want to create the impression that you are a workaholic and that you take your job seriously? Simple! Just set your alarm at home for some insane hour, get up, email work with something (anything work related in fact), and bingo – you look like you have been up all night slaving away at work projects whilst everyone else is fast asleep in bed!

8. Never leave the office on time

You should try to leave the office at least 10 minutes after you’re ‘allowed’ to leave. This shows that you are not running out the door soon as the clock strikes 5pm!

9. Creative Sighing for Effect

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

10. Have 2 Jackets

If you work in a big open spaced office, and you want to dash somewhere, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while having fun elsewhere.

https://blog.ngcareers.com/4878/10-hilarious-but-real-office-rules-to-live-by/

Make friends and be loyal to the Office Gossip, so he or she don't start stories about you.

I buy this!

#Modern Office Cheat!

Awesome. Really nice tricks especially d last one were yu go out buh hang a spare suit to give d impression yu avnt gone far

Don't fall in love with a co worker in that it sucks when the relationship hit the rock.

MikelEleta:
Awesome. Really nice tricks especially d last one were yu go out buh hang a spare suit to give d impression yu avnt gone far

hav tried that several times...it works!!!

Lovely tricks..I hope i do not get sacked upon experimentation..lol..OP,i go kill u be dat o

focused on the company's goal.
Need anything from Jumia? Contact me now!

I like dis one o, dia is dis dude from UK in my office dat does all des n we keep catching his antics.

Nna na dis one sure pass. Acting up.

Nice tricks, But no job yet

Very funny,that's how all these line heads will be watching Indecency on their screens and you'll think they are busy fixing the company. Nice one OP

maryam6:
Nice tricks, But no job yet

We'll save it for when the job eventually shows ,

Always type on your computer

I did that all d time when I was working as a secretary. Its either i'm typing or flipping through files.

chisos

FriedPlantain:
If you are gonna do any of this tricks the least you can do is to ensure you do not get caught in the act.
That was how I intentionally stayed late at the office one day at staring and drooling at fresh _nude pictures of Maheeda's boobs oblivious of the fact the MD had quietly entered my office and was directly at my back.

You guys do not want to know what happened after that.

Friedplantain

NA LIE!!

OP is damn correct. These are the stuffs that most managers need.

I will print it out to myself

Point 10 never fails.....

hmm,na was for this kind op oo, any body working with you in your office and refuses to play by your politics is officially dead in the new hate office(@ op)
nice one though

Haba

a

Agreed,u tried to b funny.
In fact, to some people it funny.



buh I'm seriously not laughing to this. not because there's no sense of humour in it. but because THIS SHIT SHOULDN'T MAKE FP.



these er some of d reasons some lil kid can just jump in here, and start saying trash!

CONCLUSION : ADMIN OF THIS SITE SHOULD GROW UP.
OP GROW UP ALSO

It's just me & only me in my office. I don't need such rules.

nyc tricks

all dis guys commenting what kind of network do u use?........

Smart!
I like that bit about smiling at the boss.
That seems the hardest though.
Lol

wao
HAVING LOW CAPITAL INTERESTED IN PHONE IMPORTING LET ME ASSIST YOU WHILE YOU PROMOTE ME WHATSAPP 08072147243

Nice points but that number one is rather too harsh.....we dont wanna come as an always angry person,not good for office personality besides some people like me have naturally smiling face.

Lol