This is a mature thread pls. Immature people should keep out. Also no Vulgar language will be condoned here.

No doubt we have heard so much about sexual incompatibility in marriage, unfaithfulness, distrust, etc etc lambasting the marriage institution. Inasmuch as we condemn these practices, we have to admit that they arise from somewhere. A problem just doesn't spontaneously appear, something must have triggered it off.

One of the most Common problems among couples is sexual dissatisfaction. In this thread we are going to be discussing some of the more prevalent sexual problems like premature ejaculation, the wife's chronic headaches, potbelly and its effect in sex just to name a few. Stay tuned.

first Op... ma ask... are you a mode??

One of the problem is 5minsmadness

Ok let me stay tuned!

First Year: The disappearing act!
Congratulations, you just got married! but now suddenly your wife is cold! This is a woman that used to be a sexual prowler in bed, a hungry vixen, ready to accept any style you introduce. Suddenly on the wedding night she starts by telling you the wedding was very stressful and you both have the years ahead of you, why not sleep this night.

This night you have been dreaming of for a very long time? This night that you wanted to mark your first legitimate sex with your wife? She's tired Does she think you didnt go through stress too? What rubbish! Your mind swirls in the first of many sexual frustrations to come.

But its your first night and you want to show you are a good husband so you smie and say no problem you can just cuddle. Tommorow you'll show her what you are made of.

But that is the beginning of sexual lack in the marriage. She might oblige you the next day but from then on its one complaint or the other. The woman you married 40% for her sexuality has suddenly turned to a perpetually tired sack of potatoes.

What happened?

Well, lets face it, when a woman is being courted she puts on her best appearance. Tis the advertising stage wether they want to admit it or not. Immediately the wedding is over they let out a huge emotional sigh of relief and forget about pleasing you being thier top priority. They want to rest. Those who genuinely like sex of course will not exhibit this behaviour but those who are conservative will, and if you are not careful as a man the first year of marriage is where the missionary position will be firmly established for ever and ever.

What to do?

Talk to her. Relate how you feel about her actions. Most men in trying to be gentlemen to these women keep quiet and the woman feels no biggie has been commited and they cant believe it years later when the man tells them it was that first insignifiacnt year that turned things for him. They feel it is insignificant because you made them think so. From the get go let her know sex is very important to you, that you would like to continue with the same appetite as before . Even if she cant match your speed this discussion will let her know the weight of her decsions when she denys you sex the next time.

Ok da madness has started

First encounter: earthworm or python!
Ok so you insisted on not having sexual relations with your man until the night of the wedding. Chances are, mama has told you many a thing about the weapon that hangs between a man's legs. you have been a very good religious girl so much so that you even decided to forfiet 10marks in biology class rather than draw the male member.

So the night has finally come and you are remembering all of mAma's words. Your heart skips a beat as your man swaggers into the room, a wide grin on his face and a knowing look in his eyes. He unleashes fury...

And you cant see his penis.

Wait, there it is, hiding somwhere between his thighs like a shy earthworm. its not at all the huge tuber of yam that you expected and your heart skips another beat, this time in apprehension. What have you gotten yourself into? Is this the cross you are meant to carry all your life? will he satisfy you like the men your girlfriends in hostel gisted about when you pretended you were sleeping and not secretly listening in on their conversation?

Does size matter?

Well it depends. Matter in what actually? If it is for the sake of procreation, NO, size doesnt matter, what matters is sperm count. Your man could have the obologo of a horse and still be unable to impregnate you. Another man who uses a kia picanto will impregnate all the women in his neighborhood. So in this instance size doest matter.

What about sexual satisfaction?

Well in this case size does matter but that matter can be easily changed. for a man with an elephant penis all he has to do is fill his woman and she can gain satisfaction from the act. A man with a smaller penis however has to have more skill. And by smaller penis we mean miniscule, like 1 inch. Those of you now measuring your dicks should note that once its past 4inches you are good to go , ignore the 12inches you read about everyday in the romance section, if those boys were made to swear at amadioha's shrine 90% of them would run mad. As long as your dick is more than 4inches you are definitely going to hit her center of gravity and thats all you need to make your woman happy. We shall talk more on the center of gravity later.

iStatistcs have shown that men with smaller joysticks make better and more skilled lovers. the explanation is simple, they do thier best to want to please thier ladies as against those men who are so wrapped up in thier yam tubers that they cant think of any other person apart from themselves.

So madam, give the earthworm a chance. If it grows more than 4inches, chances are you'll be smiling like a cheshire cat at the end of the wedding nite.

more updates to come up soon.

Indomie noodles/ one-minute man

This is a very common problem moreso for the average jack on the street. Jack prepares himself all day in anticipation of climbing the mountain. Jack reaches home and madam is actually in one of those rare receptive moods and Jack us feeling lucky. But no sooner has jack began his ascent up the mountain that he comes tumbling down again. The whole exercise doesn't last 1minute.

If madam is the understanding and loving kind she will comfort him, tell him it's no big deal, better luck next time etc. But if madam is the more common quick-witted and quick - mouthed type she goes into a tirade, calling jack "indomie noodles man", "come and go man" quicksilver and many more creative names ALL of which are devastating to the man's ego. In a bid to admonish him she ruins both his and her chances at getting a better sex life after this incident.

Premature expulsion is a very common sexual ailment. Very common in the sense that ALL MEN want to satisfy thier women, even those that visit oloshos. They want to be called studs, sex machines, beasts in bed etc. A man can last up to 10mins in bed with a woman and if the woman isn't satisfied he feels he is a premature expeller.

The official definition for premature expulsion is ejaculation of semen during sexual intercourse before or immediately after penetration. By immediately after we are talking less than one minute (hence one minute man. Indomie noodles is a misnomer as it takes approximately 3mins to cook indomie.) The average length of time before expulsion is 4-8mins but 2 to 3mins is biologically alright as well. Premature eruption has no debilitating after effect on the woman or man except psychologically being sexually unsatisfied.

Solution?

As a woman don't nag your man about it. He honestly feels 100x worse about it than you do and nagging creates a vicious cycle in which the next time he climbs he remembers what you told him the last time and becomes anxious. Anxiety will make him expel quicker than before on even make him not to have an attention at all. For a faithful woman that's pouring more sand in your garri.

Treat it as a non issue. The truth is it happens to All men at least more than once in thier sexual lives. It becomes a problem when it becomes a continuous matter and nagging can do just that. Laugh it off or ignore it all together. Chances are he'll do better next round.

For the man if it has happened once or twice it's not enough to go into panic mode. Things will most probably return to normal.

But what if they don't?

You have to rule out infectious causes. Also rule out diabetes and any STI. If present, treat. If absent then send me a mail. There are many ways of treating premature expulsion that would be too graphic to discourse here. Or stay tuned for a thread in the sexuality section.

(Note that the above post applies also for impotence. )

A potbelly is a major turn off. If I had a pot belly (not normal pregnancy belly) I don't think sexxxx would interest me at all because I find it very unattractive. If my man had a pot belly, same thing. Zero tolerance for potbellies in this household, it would most definitely mess up our sexxxx lives.

Yes, it's work keeping it at bay as you grow harder, reason why you have to employ control, discipline and commitment. Hard to do for sure but not impossible, just takes more work and it won't kill you.

If there's a medical condition causing the pot belly, understandable but most of the time, it's folks getting comfortable with an expanding girth.

P.S. I am a Mom too, I am not 30 and I am not blessed with high metabolism. I still say it is avoidable even as you grow older and after you've had kids

5minsmadness:

One of the most Common problems among couples is sexual dissatisfaction. In this thread we are going to be discussing some of the more prevalent sexual problems like premature ejaculation, the wife's chronic headaches, potbelly and its effect in sex just to name a few. Stay tuned.

hmmmmmm. spreads mat

@ Op. What of in situations where men are having chronic headache and low libido? Don't think it's only men that complain of their wife having chronic headache

5minsmadness:

In this thread we are going to be discussing some of the more prevalent sexual problems like premature ejaculation, the wife's chronic headaches, potbelly and its effect in sex just to name a few. Stay tuned.

What to do?

Talk to her. Relate how you feel about her actions. Most men in trying to be gentlemen to these women keep quiet and the woman feels no biggie has been commited and they cant believe it years later when the man tells them it was that first insignifiacnt year that turned things for him. They feel it is insignificant because you made them think so. From the get go let her know sex is very important to you, that you would like to continue with the same appetite as before . Even if she cant match your speed this discussion will let her know the weight of her decsions when she denys you sex the next time.

Not worky worky...

This can only lead to most boring type of sex: obligation sex.

Desire can never be negotiated.

MMotimo:
A potbelly is a major turn off. If I had a pot belly (not normal pregnancy belly) I don't think sexxxx would interest me at all because I find it very unattractive. If my man had a pot belly, same thing. Zero tolerance for potbellies in this household, it would most definitely mess up our sexxxx lives.

Yes, it's work keeping it at bay as you grow harder, reason why you have to employ control, discipline and commitment. Hard to do for sure but not impossible, just takes more work and it won't kill you.

If there's a medical condition causing the pot belly, understandable but most of the time, it's folks getting comfortable with an expanding girth.

P.S. I am a Mom too, I am not 30 and I am not blessed with high metabolism. I still say it is avoidable even as you grow older and after you've had kids

Thanks very much for your contribution and fisrt hand experience. This leads us to our next topic:

The Pot Bellied Man

Yes, Yes, we know there are pot-bellied women as well. But women can be easily forgiven since their abdomens are prone to stretching for 9months and carrying something the size of a huge watermelon; that will take its toll on any abdomen. Also women are not usually the ones endowed with "thrusting" ability, men are. And this is where the curse of the pot belly takes effect.

We already discussed how easier it is to climb the mountain if you have a long rope. Doesnt mean if you have a short rope you cant please your wife but it does involve more work. Why add to the stress by putting a boulder in front of your equipment. the obstruction that is the man's pot-belly reduces the effectiveness of the thrust thus making sex cumbersome, boring and downright something to be endured instead of enjoyed. The pot-belly functionally reduces the length of the male member thus making it more difficult to satisfy the woman. Also I know some women are turned on by the site of a pot-bellied man, but I want to believe most of them find a six-packed or at least flat-bellied virile male a more sexually appealing prospect.

Another thing. Having a pot-belly gives oppurtunity for bacteria to multiply in that skin fold beneath the pouch that never sees sunlight. The effect can be a bad and very off-putting smell when exposed which happens a lot during sexual congress. Another no-no in the realm of coitus.

Solution?

Before? Get rid of the excess fat! Regular exercise is good for everybody, pot-bellied or not and especially good for pot-bellied individuals as it not only reduces the fat but improves your cardiac health as well.

Stop the alcohol. Stop it. Just STOP!

Reduce your carbohydrate and fat intakes. i.e Reduce your fufu, akpu, eba, garrium, starch etc etc. An argument is being made for pounded yam but no conclusions have been drawn yet.

Avoid heavy dinners. Try and eat your last meal of the day before 9pm.

Get rid of that extra weight around the waist and see your sex life improve abundantly as a man!

Vikky014:
hmmmmmm. spreads mat

Lights scented candles and turns the lights down low****
Make yourself comfortable.

soonest:
@ Op. What of in situations where men are having chronic headache and low libido? Don't think it's only men that complain of their wife having chronic headache

Sure there are situations when men complain of chronic headaches to get away from having sex with a woman , But even you have to admit those occassions are very very very very very very, very, very, very, very, rare. We are not looking for gender war here, we are dealing with common problems and we all know the sex headache and reluctance for sex is more common among the female gender due to very many legitimate reasons.
Thank you.

BuddhaPalm:


Not worky worky...

This can only lead to most boring type of sex: obligation sex.

Desire can never be negotiated.

From experience, very worky worky.

As a married couple, most people still think sex should be spontaneous, unplanned, frivolous. They refuse to take into account the feelings of thier partner or the busy schedule of thier partners or the responsibilites that marriage and raising kids places on married couples. A busy couple wont have time for spontaneous sex, they have to make out time, discuss it and yes negotiate it. Sex is always best spontaneous and when both of you are in the mood but in situations when one partner is slowly getting frustrated it is always better to talk out your problems and give the other partner what they want, even create a time table for sex(YES, it has been done and proven to work) so that both parnters can be mutally satisfied instead of one partner suffering in silence and possible later seeking consolation from an outside party.

Thank you.

many Nigerian men are still hypocrites,they make it difficult for a woman to express her sexual worries. E.g,if he isn't doing some things right and she complains,he could simply conclude she's spoilt.
A situation whereby a woman cannot use raw words with her husband.

5minsmadness:


From experience, very worky worky.

As a married couple, most people still think sex should be spontaneous, unplanned, frivolous. They refuse to take into account the feelings of thier partner or the busy schedule of thier partners or the responsibilites that marriage and raising kids places on married couples. A busy couple wont have time for spontaneous sex, they have to make out time, discuss it and yes negotiate it. Sex is always best spontaneous and when both of you are in the mood but in situations when one partner is slowly getting frustrated it is always better to talk out your problems and give the other partner what they want, even create a time table for sex(YES, it has been done and proven to work) so that both partners can be mutually satisfied instead of one partner suffering in silence and possible later seeking consolation from an outside party.

Thank you.

5minutes my man, I have no doubt you are a communication expert, but many others are not similarly gifted .


You said something very interesting in an earlier post...

"What happened?

Well, lets face it, when a woman is being courted she puts on her best appearance. Tis the advertising stage whether they want to admit it or not. Immediately the wedding is over they let out a huge emotional sigh of relief and forget about pleasing you being their top priority. They want to rest. Those who genuinely like sex of course will not exhibit this behaviour but those who are conservative will, and if you are not careful as a man the first year of marriage is where the missionary position will be firmly established for ever and ever."

You've really said it all (@bolded).

Cold, hard truth.

For women, having full-on slut-sex with a man is a lot of times mate-retention tactics.

If a woman is trying to keep you, you can push the envelope really really far and she would still be very compliant and even enthusiastic.

You must have heard this before: "If you want to keep your man, keep his stomach full, and his balls empty". That was said by a woman btw. And she also said: "A BJ a day keeps the divorce attorney away" (Niecy Nash).

All women understand this very intimately, but once you are already kept...well, the battle is already won. Why should she put in any more effort than is required?

Security leads to complacence. And a big catalyst for a woman's sexuality is competition. Nothing turns women on, and makes them fvck you however YOU want, if they subconsciously understand that other women, even more beautiful, will fvck you, should you give them the chance.


Headaches, or not-in-the-mood right?

I am sure that a lot of women, on a day that they've had an accident, and on an IV, would make an exception for a really high-status male, say Trump or Usher, to fvck them in their virgin ass, should such an opportunity present itself.

IMO, if you want to fvck any on YOUR terms, there has to be an element of dread. There has to be this background knowing/anxiety that you could get it somewhere else.

5minsmadness:

Lights scented candles and turns the lights down low**** Make yourself comfortable.

Sex sex sex, Sex, SEX!