Hmmm ... I don't think remarrying is necessary at all, and especially not for your daughter's sake. If a handful of male relatives, teachers, married friends, et cetera can take special interest in your daughter, I believe that they can give her much of what she wants in a dad. It is not necessarily easy for a child to accept a "new father" who of course [i]may not be perfect [/i]and will want his own "real children". (just wanted to express an opinion to balance dablessed's post; of course you know best).

Once again, AngelaZ, thanks for sharing!

Seun, i believe God can give someone that will love and take care of her, and even better.
I grew up with a step father, did not like it inicially, but he took all responsibilties and took
care of us like his kids. He lead me to where I am today.

Anglea, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks love

wow, wow, wow! This in no doubt is about the sweetest thread lately.
I feel for u AngelaZ, but then God knows best.
Wish I could give my own account but aint married yet.

Dominobaby yours is going to be wonderful from beginning to end, My experience will not be yours or anyone of you that share my feelings in Jesus name

The Story of Us continues. . . .

Several weeks had past until we saw each other again. I enjoyed our first conversation so much that I looked forward to seeing him again. This time, he came down to base several times just so say hello and to see how I was doing. He was just so kind and thoughtful. We shared dinner that day as well. He offered me some of his food which was groundnut soup to be exact. He was willing to give me half but I politely declined. I already had my food so we just enjoyed another conversation.

I had just become saved around this time and was in need of some music. I just happened to bring it up while we were talking. I told him how I was making up songs until I got over to the store to get a CD. Before I departed that day he handed me $10 to buy some music. I tried to give it back to him but he refused. He said that I should buy the CD and enjoy myself. It was later that I found out that he only had $11 that day which was meant for his transportation. He’d freely given me $10 and left himself with only $1 not knowing how he would make it home that evening.

As the days passed we started to talk more. It was during this time that I decided I no longer wanted to run the dispatch office and requested to be put on the floor as a line officer. We would constantly steal time praying and talking. There was even a time when we developed a code. When we heard one of us call to base requesting a 10-5 (restroom break) we knew to meet up on the third floor of stairwell 1. It was during those times that we got to know one another more and more.

I was only looking for a friend at this point as I had just come from a hard relationship. He was very much the gentleman, never pushing for anything. We just talked and talked. He even became my supplier of music! I later found out that he purchased a stereo with dubbing abilities just to make copies of his music for me. No one knew how close we’d grown, and I didn’t believe the feelings I’d developed for him.

At one point he completely altered his route home just to accompany me. People in the work place noticed this. They started to ask why he started going an opposite direction to get home. He never uttered one word to them about us. What we had was untouchable.


V

I'm loving your office romance story. All we are saying, give us part 3!

Thanks AngelaZ.
More stories please.

Chee chee chee, nor be small thing 4 here ooohhh. I was billed to be married once but..... Please u guys tell me some more, I don dey fell all msuhe mushe now......

Angela Z........ I love u... I am so touched by ur story that at tis point in time, I am most willing to assit you in any way that I can ( that is if you need it) All u gat to do is say the word......

Seun, thank you for the encouragement. I'll post as soon as possible

Whiteshark? You are so funny. What word?
Remember I am still my mothers baby.

Vexxy, waiting for part 3 Oooo

Seun, you no know your colleague?

Using this opportunity to thank Seun for bringing up this topic.

All that's contributed in one way or the other, I say God bless.

My sincere prayer is that the good Lord will give those who are not yet maried, their right partners, marriages that are broken repaired and restored and those whose are still standing in love, God'ld help the more.

The thread is touching and I've been praying for us all, pls let's remember each other's homes in prayers. Marriages are meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

God'll keep us in His infinite love

Sir Kay: Marriages are meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

Beautifully put.

Angela, part three coming up!

@ sir kay,
if your wife cheats on you but later confesses, will you forgive, forget and support her with prayers when separated?

@ nucca

Who am I not to forgive, forget and let go. It can happen to anyone, possibly due to carelessness or unforseen circumstances. I dont support separation or divorce, but believe strongly in the power of prayers to turn things around for good.

my story continues...

after d birth of my second boy, customarily both mums (mine and his) came to do their bit, one after the other and as expected my husband moved out of our bedroom to another to give the mums room to care for the baby especially at night. they left about two months later. i expected my husband to move back to our room but alas he did not, to me it seemed as if he loved his new-found privacy and prefer that to being with me. and that was the begining of TROUBLE for us.

as the days past and turned into weeks i began to feel worse. i started feelin unloved. i felt i was no longer needed, i mean i had given birth to his children and as such fufilled my role and i'm no longer useful in his life anymore. i felt useless, i felt ugly. i felt used. but rather than call him to talk and clear up things i became bitter and would snap at him at every turn. this made him turn away even more and we went from bad to worse. we drifted apart. we became two strangers living together barely talking except to scream and curse at each other. we were heading for the rocks.

then one day, six months after the birth of my son, i packed a few things into a bag and told him i was leaving! that shocked him. and as i looked up at him, i saw the fear in his eyes.
"so you finally want to leave me?"
"yes"
" please dont leave me, we can start again, please."
"to what end?" i asked
"because i cant live without you"
"WHAT?" i asked " i thought you no longer wanted me as i have finished playing my role. it was his turn to scream "WHAT?"
"i thought you couldnt stand me anymore. i thought you hated the sight of me. at first i attributed it to post-natal hormonal feelings thats why i thought i should stay away and give you time but you got worse"
but i thought... i thought ... no i thought....

oh the trouble and pain we would have saved ourselves if only we communicated. so that night we made up and determined we would always talk. we didnt sleep, we talked and talked into the night till early morn. form then on, we became one again. we became stroger and tighter. laughter and happiness was back in my home. two years later, we celebrated five years of being together.

            shania twane's ''still the one" was our song.

            looks like we made it , see how far we've come my baby
            we might have took the long way, we knew we'll get there someday
            they said, i bet they'll never make it but just look as we're still holding on
            we're still together, still going strong.
             still the one, you still the one i run to, the one that i belong to.....

he said we'll play it on our 10th anniversary. everyone who thought we couldnt make it, all those who stood in our way, would be invited.... i once sang "i wanna grow old with you" (westlife) to him and he jokingly said but you are already old now i screamed and chased him, we ran around the house like kids. my marriage was bliss, my home, heaven on earth. life was too good to be true.

how long do you think the marriage would last?

i thought it would last my lifetime but it didnt.
just like angelaZ, he died in a ghastly auto accident some months after our 5th wedding anniversary, tearing my world apart.

its close to 3 years now and i've learnt to be strong again. i have learnt to live with the pain.

Men who have found love in their wives need to be careful about how they drive and who drives them to save their happy families from this kind of bad ending. What a story, bagoma. I'm so sorry about the bad ending; I was so happy when I read about how you changed your mind about leaving him.

bagoma

I felt a very sharp pain in my spine reading about the sad ending of your story. I shed tears.

When my wife was opearated upon 4yrs ago, it laasted for 4hrs, during which lots of thoughts went through my mind, I know how unsettled I was, while it lasted, not to talk of losing a part of one.

God will always console you whenever the thought comes into your mind again, He'ld surely establish your children in His way and make them as He wished, while establishing you in all your endeavours and whatever you laid your hands upon.

Isaiah 58 vs 11,12 is for you


Seun

That one na true talk o, may God always protect us all

I met her through a lawyer friend , never had anything in common but later on got on well. She some how mentioned the marriage proposal, I guess she wasnt getting any younger. And of course when I do tease her about it, she denies it. Fun to be with but at times, she likes to be ITK( I too know) and this pisses me off. I have also noticed that majority of women would respect you more, if you have the money and I have that at the back of my mind never to allow this happen to me, so I work extra hard

This is an interesting topic, I think we men need to be bold and courageuos enough to talk about our marrige so far.
If it has not been what you planned to have, who said it can't get better and if it has been good, who said there is no new thing to learn in marrige. Marriage itself is an institution of learning. Men let us open up, if for nothing, for the sake of the singles in the house.

I will soon get back to you on my story.

Aww, May the Lord be with AngelaZ and Bagoma and their kids.

@nferyn: is your wife nigerian?

@angelaz: was the journey at night?

@msy: what made you think it was love?

@bagoma: was he moving by public or private means?

i have really learnt a lot o.

otokx:

@nferyn: is your wife nigerian?

Yes, she is.

@everybody
The rest of my account follows later tonight. I haven't had as much time as I wanted, so sorry for the delay

we dey wait .....

The story of us continues. . . .

Let me start by saying that marriage wasn’t on my mind when I met him. When our relationship grew I started to realize that he was the kind of guy that I would love to marry but I did not want him to know this. I remember one morning he sent me an email asking what are the qualities I’m looking for in a man. As I began to list them, I realized that he contained all of these things! I became nervous because of a previous relationship so I still did not want him to think that we would be anything more than friends. After I listed my things the very last line was, “He must be very, very tall!” I knew that he was taller than I but not very, very tall. I laughed to myself as I hit the send button on that email.

Needless to say we both had very strong feelings for one another but refused to express them. Him keeping mum due to the fact that he did not want to scare me off, me because I just wanted him to say it first. You can say that we both were very stubborn. One night he called me around 9p to make sure I got home safely. It was during that conversation that our feelings for one another came out. We were on the phone from 9p to 5a! That was one marathon phone call from which we emerged as a couple.

He began to bring up marriage every now and then, asking my thoughts on it. I was young and independent. I paid all of my own bills and lived life on my own terms so I was not looking to get married. We stayed on course and kept the relationship pure. There were several nights in which we could have caved and engaged in intercourse but did not. I was living in a two bedroom apartment and had the second bedroom set up as an office/guest room. Sometimes he’d be over so late that I’d asked him to stay. He would read to me and once I’d fallen asleep, he’d go to the guest room to stay. I never knew a man like that. I always encountered those who’d love to take advantage of the situation. He did not. My respect grew for him even more.


V

Bagoma! I am so sorry about that! I was so happy to read about how you made up with your husband, only for my heart to break seconds after reading the latter part of your story.

But never worry! It is well with you and the kids! How are you though? I pray all shall be well and the lord shall perfect all that concerneth you.

Be strong dear.

I stand in agreement with you, dablessed.

Vexxy

I am enjoying your story and can't wait for the next part!

Hopefully, i'll get to share mine after my exams in December.

Meanwhile, for the rest of the forumists, lets enjoy your stories! More please!

what attracted me to my man is his ability to forgive immediately witout any fuse/prolongment. We've learnt 2 settle our disputes without involving third parties. His looks, charisma and belief in God also played a vital role in my decision

@ sir kay, men like you are rare
@ angelaz and bogoma, no one knows why the good die young. hold on to your fond memories, some may never experience such in their lifetime.

@ sir kay, thank you so very much. i hold that scripture (and many others) close to my heart. may your marriage last forever.
i appreciate ur kind words, IAH, dablessed, seun, vexxy, nucca and all who shared in my pain. God bless you all. it took a lot of courage and angelaZ for me to talk about this here. thank you again.
@ otokx, it was by private means, all 3 in the vehicle were killed. it was a freak accident that should never have happened.
@ nucca. true talk my dear. i know what i had, and the memories was what helped kept me sane when it happened initially. i wouldnt trade those five years i had for anything in the world... thanks yall.