Abujabir24:

Most of them, wearing long faces, lamented that men who have dated prospective brides for years have abandoned them for others in the IDP camps, who accept impromptu marriage proposals from men they do not know very well, for the promise of a life away from the camps
A man who would leave his city girl for an IDP so easily doesn't sound like a husband material

Most of the ‘city girls’ told Daily Trust that they will not crash the prices of their dowry from the usual N150,000 on the average to the N10,000 being paid for brides at the IDP camps, maintaining that they are refined, polished and have qualities that the girls in the IDP do not.
Falmata Bashir Modu, 23, is awaiting admission into the University said the girls in the IDP camps are actually a threat to single girls in the city, because most men want low-cost marriages are finding comfort there, adding, “When someone whispered to me that the guy proposing to marry my childhood friend is abandoning her for an IDP bride, I could not believe it. But, just because he could not afford N500,000 to N1 million. He went for a rustic bride who I’m sure cannot even cook well.”
This girl does not sound bright and is proud. Could it not be a case of lack of funds for the husband? What makes her better than an IDP? Or does Boko Haram plunging a town suddenly make the indigenes 'rustic'? 23yrs still looking for admission should concentrate in that.

But Aisha Mustafa, 22, and a student of University of Maiduguri said if it is just the cost of dowry that will make her miss her suitor for another girl, she is ready to convince her parents to reduce the money to a bearable amount. “I cannot afford to miss someone I love because of bride price. I’m not for sale. There is a minimum amount fixed by Islam as dowry and I do not mind asking for that, once the love and understanding is there. What I want is to enjoy my marriage with a man I love,” she said.
Wise girl . Perhaps you could teach Fatima a thing or two.

Maimuna, a student of Sir Kashim Ibrahim College of Education, Maiduguri, said she will not reduce her dowry. “It is a matter of sitting him down and telling him the advantages of going for the best. I am sure he will understand,” she said.
Maimuna’s friend, also a student of the same College of Education, who declined to identify herself, said: “I’m aware that some men went to IDP camps and paid N5,000 or N10,000 and got brides. They rush for the IDPs because they do not have to buy clothes and other traditional requirements. It’s disturbing and something needs to be done immediately.”
what special advantage is an indigene bringing that a man will pay #150k instead of #10k for an IDP? That advantage better be *15.

But 40-year-old widow Inna Usman said the IDP girls are only a threat to other girls who are desperate to marry. “Since my husband died, I have not been keen on remarriage. I am facing my business now. The IDP girls are posing a challenge to ‘city girls’ and the men are not willing to budge.”
True

Fatima Musa a SS student in Gwoza who escaped to Maiduguri with her family, said the issue of bride price is a matter that only parents can address and that IDPs are entitled to marry. “I don’t see any reason why men should not ask for their hands in marriage.”
I agree with you. The only problem I see is a man leaving his indigene for an IDP because the former's bride price is higher


18-year-old Zainab Adamu of the University of Maiduguri said she blames the men for the situation. “Any man who abandons the girl he has proposed to for one with supposedly less economical cost does not know what he wants,” she said.
She added that the rate at which men troop to IDP camps in a rush to secure brides is alarming. “I think it is time for government to relocate them back to their various communities so that everybody will rest,” she said.
True at first paragraph. Unfortunately for you, the safety of the IDPs is much more important than your desire to secure your ideal spouse

Zainab Auwal, 27, said she is not afraid of the IDP girls taking over her suitor because she is educated and her suitor is only interested in educated fine girl like her and not a girl that is willing to give out herself in marriage so cheap.
Dream on. I wish the longetiivity of a marriage is determined by the amount of BP paid


Miss Grace, a student of the University of Maiduguri, told Daily Trust that there are educated and non-educated girls both in the IDP camps and among the so-called city girls. “The fact is, the IDPs are less-demanding because they’re eager for new lives away from the camps. And the demands of the city girls are crazy, as far as asking for N500,000 and above.”
Hmmm. So the city girls have no edge after all

Asma’u Suleiman, a student of Sir Kashim Ibrahim College of Education, Maiduguri, said her friend who is also a student of the same institution lost her suitor to an IDP girl after four years courtship. “I know my friend does not pay much attention to him whenever he raised the issue of marriage, but it was too harsh of him to have abandoned her for the IDP. I was told that the IDP girl used to visit him on campus, cook for him and wash his clothes. The next thing we heard was that they got married,” she said.
I see no problem here. Your friend was not ready for marriage and her guy moved on. How long should he have waited? Would you have encouraged your friend to stick with him if he was still dragging his feet after 4yrs?

On their own part, the men who spoke to Daily Trust said moderate dowries are not the only factors causing them to go after the girls in the IDP camps. Alhaji Fannami Marte said he married his second wife from the IDP camp two months ago, not just because it was easy on his pockets. “Maiduguri girls have no time for their suitors during courtship and they tend to be full of themselves. It is either she is busy at home or attending to her parents. I need enough time with the girl I want to marry so that I can understand her very well. The single girls in the IDP camps give time and attention. Some of them are even more beautiful and intelligent than the so-called city girls,” he said
Bros, your excuse name wa. When did a girl attending to her oarents /chores at home become a bad thing? If the girl was never available as you put it, where did you meet her to toast her and start dating to the extent you decided to marry her? It did not occur to you that the IDPs have more time because they do not have a home to care for?


Kyari Modu, a civil servant, said he has witnessed the marriages of seven of his friends to IDPs in various camps in Maiduguri so far, but is yet to marry one. “Only two of the seven men paid a dowry of N10,000 each. All others paid N5,000 each and they are all living in peace. It’s love that matters.”
So it is even #5k? Oju Ogun le... It is true that it is love that matters sha



Maryam Isa Bulama is an IDP and she told Daily Trust that a date has been fixed for her wedding and does not care if her husband-to-be left any city girl for her. She said: “It is not right - and downright cruel - for anyone to say that IDPs are rustic or illiterates. I am a graduate of Sociology and there are girls here with Masters degrees. We are victims of insurgency, and it could happen to anyone. Going by the UN definition of a city, Maiduguri is not even qualified to be one, even if it is bigger than Bama where I come from.” She added that women are not for sale, “Whatever circumstance they may find themselves.”
You don't care your man left a city girl for you. Let's hope he doesn't leave you for someone else in future. I agree it is quite cruel and myopic to call you rustic and illiterates. @women not for sale; are you sure the girls where you are from are not also like these Maiduguri girls? If Fatima was an IDP in Go be, she might also be saying women are not for sale

I hope you and all IDPs find light in these dark moments. If it is marriage to the single and uncommitted indigene men, so be it.
http://www.dailytrust.com.ng/news/general/why-grooms-are-rushing-for-idp-brides/111479.html