Ever wondered why taking a nap in the church seems to be the best thing that has happened in life after the invention of fried rice?... don’t worry, the devil is a liar. Sleeping in the church is gradually becoming an act/profession for some of us. Some Christians are so gifted in this act that it takes a more qualified usher with professional certifications/backings (I heard they also offer professional courses for ushering) and many years experience to catch them red handed. My friend Jide can testify to this.

I used to fancy sleeping in the church, until last Sunday, when our keyboardist fell under the anointing (some gullible ones where made to believe so. Sharp guys like me know say na sleep the guy been dey sleep come fall for alter, quickly convert am to spiritual matter to avoid embarrassment) in the middle of a very interesting boring sermon officiated by the assistant pastor. For some of you who know AG too well, you may agree with me that assistant pastors from this axis seem to undertake a special course in boredom before graduating from the bible school. If the main pastor no dey around, assistant take over, na to carry ear piece dey listen to Frank Edwards sure pass, because to slap the man go just dey hungry you. I mean the man is so boring and goes off point for the fun of it. Even babies easy get bored and start crying (giving their mums an opportunity to “escape” from church).

As my friend fell from the alter, I decided to help my fellow Christians to compile 5 tricks they can adopt to avoid sleeping in the church. So read and enjoy!

1. Get active in the spirit:
This technique is really becoming popular in our new generation churches and it actually works! When sleep comes your way during a boring sermon, simply get along with the sermon. Stand up, scream ‘ride-on Papa’ jump and grab prophetic messages and releases from the pastor (I mean literally grab them with your hands), carry a plastic chair in affirmation to the sermon. This can set you too busy that u will forget to sleep.

2. Alter calls helps:
Frequent movement in the church can prevent us from sleeping in the church. Let me share a story about my friend Jide. This man called Jide nicknamed “alter call” loves alter calls so much, the dude comes out for almost everything the pastor mentions in the church. If you need Christ in your life-Here Goes ‘Alter Call’ to receive his weekly salvation come out. If you always experience this headache that makes you crazy at times, come out-‘Alter call’ is already warning his way out. If you have not witnessed your period for a long time, come out. I almost fainted when I saw ‘alter call’ among women. The trick here is that frequent movement can solve sleeping problem in churches today.

3. Chew Something:
Chewing gums can also eliminate sleep, so u can grab some and chew responsibly.

4. Read:
Reading hymns and humming softly can solve this problem of sleeping in the church. I’ve tried it before and it worked. If you cannot sing, carry your bible; open the good old book to the book of songs of Solomon. If you read it and still feel sleepy, your case is being skyped from the village.

5. Baby sit:
This one will work perfectly for the ladies. If you have a family member that has a baby, you can engage yourself with the baby and you will be just fine, you can’t fall with the baby like the keyboardist!

Boring sermon and hearing same matter over and over again invoke the spirit of sleep.


Majority of christain congregations doesn't really want to attend church services but due to pressure from either the family or the society, they felt it as an obligation to fulfill, thus the sleeping tendency almost everyone exhibit during church services.

*make sure u sleep well d previous night before coming to church

*pay attention to the man of God. read his lips and make sure u follow the message