Helo my friends pls advice me. My husband is ashamed to ask our family friend for financial help. The man is obviously doing well and he is the generous type.
pls I don't want to die in silence am tempted to ask him myself.
pls advice me.

Ask ur husband first, if he says no, respect his wish.

I feel your pain. Though you sound funny.

I'm too hungry to think right now. Make i chop first.

I don't think think he's ashamed...
Some people just don't fancy the idea of 'begging'
If I don't have, then I don't have!!

this is a very sensitive issue...don't ask your family friend without approval from your husband... don't push your husband either to ask him...make him see reason why you must ask for his help and let your husband be the one to initiate it..if not,let him be the man..I am sure help will come somehow..just keep faith and be patient and more understanding at a time like this..it will be ok

RobinHez:
I don't think think he's ashamed...

Some people just don't fancy the idea of 'begging'

If I don't have, then I don't have!!

yeah..for men in most cases it is a no no..it is somewhat perceived as emasculating..like he can't handle his "bizness"..

sexymoma:
he allowed his ego to rule over him

men are just wired that way...trust me, the man is hurting more seeing the way things are with his family and seeming helpless

A man's ego can be a good & healthy thing sometimes. Your husband may have valid reasons for not wanting to ask.

From personal experience men hardly ever do each other financial favours (but I stand to be corrected), they would rather take you out as a man and buy you drinks than give you cash - I just don't get it.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a man who is quick to ask for financial aid or borrow money from others without exploring different options to make money first.

In the late B.I.G's words - the more money we come about the more problems we see.

That family friend who appears to be doing well financially also has problems/challenges of his own, never assume that because a man is financially buoyant all is well with him.

Have you guys considered selling off household items you don't absolutely need for some quick cash? A flat screen TV if you have more than one or even a car if you have more than two can be sold.

Even your expensive jewelry can go if you need to pay the childrens school fees or something - assuming that's the issue.

Don't pressure your man into asking for money if he doesn't want to, look around your house and see how you can raise some cash too.

nwaimoroseyaho:
Helo my friends pls advice me. My husband is ashamed to ask our family friend for financial help. The man is obviously doing well and he is the generous type.
pls I don't want to die in silence am tempted to ask him myself.
pls advice me.

what kind of financial help?

Job? Money to start a business? Money for food?
What exactly?

Why is he ashamed? What are his reasons?

Learn to live within your income. You can't go around begging people that seem to be doing well. I am sure the other man has his own problems too and may be shy to say no. The fact that he seems generous does not mean he should start feeding you and your family.

If the rich guy then says, come to my bedroom to collect the money; what will you do then? Will you blame the rich guy or will you just follow the money?

Abeg, you and your husband should be encouraged to work harder. It is not just about a man's ego, a woman should also have some self respect.

Instead,help him seek other ways to getting the Money elsewhere than the friend....


He's avoiding see finish

OP so it's OK to ask someone for money just because the person is 'the generous type'?

Oh well, only you fully know what you're going through.

If you watch the movie called THE GODFATHER, you will know how difficult it is for a man to go on his knees, sell his dignity and ask his fellow man for a favour. Respect your husband's decision, I'm proud of him

You should be proud of your husband.


Charity is not a solution for poverty (or lack). Unless the issue is very critical e.g, health issues) never propose 'begging' please. It will only solve a temporal need.


I expect you to propose stuffs like JOB. what's the man into? Is there a way he can help your husband with a job?

Rich people don't throw money around, they'll rather pay for a service you can render.

TooNoisy:
Learn to live within your income. You can't go around begging people that seem to be doing well. I am sure the other man has his own problems too and may be shy to say no. The fact that he seems generous does not mean he should start feeding you and your family.

If the rich guy then says, come to my bedroom to collect the money; what will you do then? Will you blame the rich guy or will you just follow the money?

Abeg, you and your husband should be encouraged to work harder. It is not just about a man's ego, a woman should also have some self respect.

The fvck are you sniffing? Cowdung or chilli pepper?

Seriously, I hate begging too. That's why I don't condone beggars. I know anyone can find himself at a tight corner, but there will always be a way out. Explore other means, when u beg, u reduce your self worth and dignity. Call it ego if you like but I have survived with 20k till even a year after our wedding. I didn't even call my rich siblings talkless of a relative somewhere or a stranger. Even when my wife travelled home and brought loads of food stuff, I asked questions. Thank God the story has changed now. If u are not lazy and you are focused, u don't need to beg. I ll rather do jobs tagged as demean or unworthy of my status(bricklaying,cutting grasses and flower for others or sweeping/mopping) and get paid rather than beg someone. I ll do that while I continue to earn my respect frm d so called rich relative. That alone can make him look at your side and help you. Don't think those rich people don't kknw what they ar doing. When u become a constant beggar, they ll instruct their gate men never to open d gate for you again.
So woman, respect your husband's decision, nevr do something that will make him unhappy.

There is no sorry kind of azzzzze than a "beggy beggy" man!
The man wey im wan go beg get 2 BLOKISES?

EvIn you kpa kpa?
You nor get shame?
A FINANCIALLY-HANDICAP couple in marriage?

Na wetin TWO came join togeda for?

Abeg make una GO ASUNDER JOR!
NANsenZE!!!!!

Carry dati ya toto go beg man for money she o gbo?
Akuna-kuna housewife!

nwaimoroseyaho:
Helo my friends pls advice me. My husband is ashamed to ask our family friend for financial help. The man is obviously doing well and he is the generous type.
pls I don't want to die in silence am tempted to ask him myself.
pls advice me.

You think your rich family friend does not that your husband is not doing well financially? That doesn't need a rocket science. If your so called generous rich family friend cannot take the first step and ask your husband how he could be of help, it will be better to maintain the status quo and continue to earn your respect.

nwaimoroseyaho:
Helo my friends pls advice me. My husband is ashamed to ask our family friend for financial help. The man is obviously doing well and he is the generous type.

pls I don't want to die in silence am tempted to ask him myself.
pls advice me.

Look at your word choice: ashamed.

The only reason you would choose that is manipulation. The same way you could subtly challenge a lesser man by throwing in 'not-man-enough'.

Your husband is not ashamed, he has self-respect.

Ojukokoro is not healthy.

WOMEN and LUST.. .

This one u r talking he is generous,hope u r not sounding materialistic n spirit of lust gradually entering ur mind n eyeing d man.Before u know it u don open ur legs for him.Na ur husband I pity because very soon he may not know what is going under his noise.

my dear friends it has not been easy with us. we are owing house rent for ten months and the landlord is threatening to quit us. my husband's business has suffered setbacks cos of the rain. that's why I asked him to seek help than close our mouth and be ejected.

nwaimoroseyaho:
my dear friends it has not been easy with us. we are owing house rent for ten months and the landlord is threatening to quit us. my husband's business has suffered setbacks cos of the rain. that's why I asked him to seek help than close our mouth and be ejected.

Don't ask that friend for money. Do you know if your husband already asked him and got turned down but doesn't want to tell you? How close are you to him? You called him a family friend and said he "seems" generous, which means you don't know him well enough. So stay away. Why not ask for a job opportunity instead. Say you are willing to do secretarial work or work in a shop assisting his wife.

If I were that man and someone who is not that close to me asks for money, I'd be disgusted because the person who knew me well stayed away but you snuck behind his back to meet me. I'd think both of you planned it sef and start avoiding both of you. That person has put a wall in the relationship. And if I were a bad man, I will tell you "money for hand, back for ground" just to see how low you will go.

nwaimoroseyaho:
my dear friends it has not been easy with us. we are owing house rent for ten months and the landlord is threatening to quit us. my husband's business has suffered setbacks cos of the rain. that's why I asked him to seek help than close our mouth and be ejected.

What do you do?

How can you ask your husband's friend for money? Which kind of hand falling is this??

Hmmm

@Op, obviously your husband is not lazy, his business just suffered a set back and indeed nobody is immuned from things like this no matter how calculating we are.
Talk to your husband and know exactly why he his declining to ask for assistance from your neighbour, explore other options and if non, I think your husband should be humble enough to ask, forget ego abeg. It's either a yes or no.
I pray things get better for you guys again,no man wants to be liabilty or. Begger.

aameyah:
How can you ask your husband's friend for money? Which kind of hand falling is this??

Asin ehn

Learn to live within your means. I believe your wants escalated because you saw an affluent friend and wish it was your husband. Before you know it, you'd ask and maybe oblige him if he wants appreciation in kind.

Some men would rather starve than beg and if that's your husband, respect him and stay away and find ways to honestly contribute to the family finance and stop looking upto the wealth others built. It is more honorable to ask for a loan than beg.

Hmmm, una matter get as e be. Your husband's business suffered a setback for 10 months? This is nearly a year's rent we are talking oh.

My initial advice was to be that instead of begging, why not look for a small business you both can start off; then your husband approaches the family friend for a loan BUT seeing that this is for rent, this is what I think.

It is not in your place to worry about the quit's notice; your husband is doing enough of that believe me. Ask your husband either after dinner or when you are both in bed, what his plans are. Don't be belligerent, it is easy to get angry in this kind of situation; because your imagination would throw up different 'progressive' and seemingly financially stable homes.
Your husband will communicate his plans to you. You might eventually have to move or he looks for help but let that be his decision. You know as women, we want our men to act quickly on all issues but there are issues he has to agonize on and decide at his own time, I might be single but still...

Even if the landlord comes with thugs tomorrow, don't run on your own to any family friend; you can take that kind of initiative only if your husband is a vegetable hooked up to a life machine. May that not be your portion.

If you have children, try not to project your worries to them.

Be still and wait.