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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic (28305 Views)
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14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:02am On Oct 19, 2015 |
Now, it’s no secret that the Lagos traffic situation has gotten worse. I’m not naming any names or pointing any fingers (*co…Ambode…ughs*); but it’s really bad. We’ve all been spending an inordinate amount of time in traffic. But we at Zikoko(well thanks to whoever invented copy and paste ) are here to make your lives easier, so we researched ways to allow you successfully avoid Lagos Traffic: Lalasticlala and awon goons, oya Sit back relax and grab a bottle of Orij...ehm...ehm ... I mean Lipton tea na early Monday momoi... 'Sauce' of ingredients http://zikoko.com/list/avoid-lagos-traffic 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:09am On Oct 19, 2015 |
1. Leave Lagos This is the surest way to beat the traffic. Go! Move to Ogun State or Ibadan or anywhere else and don’t look back. Sure, there will still be traffic on your way out of Lagos, but look on the bright side, It’s the last time. 99 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:13am On Oct 19, 2015 |
2. Don't go out If you won’t leave Lagos, then the next best thing is to stay permanently in your house. Because the truth is, there really isn’t anything important out there. Well nothing that you won’t spend 7 hours getting to. Stay. At. Home. 32 Likes 1 Share
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:22am On Oct 19, 2015 |
3. Drive only between 12am and 4am You know why this is important. This way you’re the only one on the road – well, you and everyone else reading this post. You will rule the highways in the middle of the night. But be aware, your reign comes to an end once the clock strikes 4. Because Lagos will wake up. 49 Likes 1 Share
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:25am On Oct 19, 2015 |
4. If you have to go somewhere, leave your house the day before This is for those that usually have 8am appointments/meetings. The traffic is not of God and if you do not want to be late, leave at 8pm. That way, whatever Lagos throws away, you laugh in its face because the joke is on it. Your appointment is for tomorrow. 51 Likes 5 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:30am On Oct 19, 2015 |
5. Walk everywhere But first buy shoes like these.. 35 Likes 1 Share
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:31am On Oct 19, 2015 |
6. Sleep in the office This is a win-win situation. You avoid the traffic and you also get in line for the ‘Best Employee Award’ – or that promotion . You know, since you ‘practically’ [your boss doesn’t know it’s literally] live in the office. Just wake up and slide into your seat. 63 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:35am On Oct 19, 2015 |
7. Or in your car Stop looking like that. Sleeping in your car is a thing. It’s better than sleeping in the office. This way you can drive your car to a safe spot [ short distances please], sleep and drive back to the office with other employees. Don’t forget to brush your teeth in the office bathroom. 37 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by paul288yahoo(m): 10:36am On Oct 19, 2015 |
chai.... extreme measures 3 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:39am On Oct 19, 2015 |
8. Quit your job Who needs a job?... Just kidding, go to number 9... 20 Likes 1 Share
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:44am On Oct 19, 2015 |
9. Marry into wealth This is the only way to validate your quitting your job. If you’re unemployed and not married into wealth, I don’t know. Is poverty better than traffic? But with some little quid around, you can buy an helicopter to use to move around... Especially if you work in that Apapa axis. If na Oshodi market, well.. ehn you go park the chopper for garage 24 Likes
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:48am On Oct 19, 2015 |
10. Or Get a Job next to your house It doesn’t matter what. You’re not in traffic with all those white-collar mainland-to-island suckers. This is the life. 23 Likes
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:51am On Oct 19, 2015 |
11. Become a witch This is purely for the air travel benefits, nothing more. 79 Likes 5 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:53am On Oct 19, 2015 |
12. Fast and Pray for Governor Ambode Fast. Pray. Light Candles. Say the Fatiha. Offer up Benediction. Dance. Do prayer of the faithful. Give sacrifices. Pray that he stops saving all our money. He should use it to fix our traffic situation. If this doesn’t work very fast, we are in trouble. We can’t do this everyday. What is happening?! There was traffic before but it was not this bad. 57 Likes 5 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by ibullem(m): 10:57am On Oct 19, 2015 |
13. Run against him in the next elections and win This really only works if you win. That way, you can cause the traffic, not face it. 14. That one is on you gguys... Oya bring your own suggestions 56 Likes 5 Shares
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Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by agarawu23(m): 11:10am On Oct 19, 2015 |
Lol U can't escape Lagos traffic o because man must wack 7 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Firefire(m): 11:22am On Oct 19, 2015 |
4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Firefire(m): 11:29am On Oct 19, 2015 |
ibullem: I would adopt this No. 12 ibullem: 2 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by temitemi1(m): 12:14pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
NO 11 2 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by damton(m): 12:46pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
once you get home from work, just bath and eat then start leaving your house for work the next day 42 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by CR77(f): 12:46pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
A wailing theory 4 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Richie0974: 12:47pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Ok |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by sagewonders(m): 12:47pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
lolzzzzzz |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by kayo80(m): 12:47pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Work from home, don't go out. That's the only way you can avoid it...that's how I avoid it. 9 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Nobody: 12:48pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Ok |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Nobody: 12:48pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
I'm on front page on a Monday morning , Lord please I need a job 9 Likes |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by yemstok(m): 12:49pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
I don't even know why I book space sef? |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Adatob(m): 12:49pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
lol |
Re: 14 Hilarious Tips On How To Avoid Lagos Traffic by Nobody: 12:49pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
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