A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a LIVERPOOL scarf.

"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Man Utd fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Man Utd supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St. Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now Bleep off''

Alex Ferguson and Ronaldo are sitting in a pub with Ronaldo's pet dog.

A bloke comes in, goes over to the dog, lifts his tail has a look and then walks out.

Two minutes later, another guy comes in, does the same and goes back out.

After 5 people have done his, Fergie speaks to him and asks:

"What are you lot all doing?"

The guy replies "Some guy just told us there was a dog in here with two aresholes."

Q: What's the difference between a Man-UTD fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man UTD fan is a real D!CK

Very funny jokes indeed.
Plastic sense of humour.Please can we talk about something else?

yes!!

Like eastbay resembles tevez

And mukina is as ugly as her name

shame nor catch you?

HNIC:

Yeah, The irritant should have remained on TV.
Always 'running mouth' and dissing the Arsenal at every opportunity on MOTD.
Yorubas say 'Enu dun r'ofo'(Its damn easy to cook a pot of vegetables with your mouth)
Now Alan has seen how it is !!!!
Toon Army will play in the championship next season.
Oh, What a shame!!!

Yoruba teacher, you don become commissioner

Lol, bgees, what club do you support and let's start d PUB Jokes

Tmoni:

Lol, bgees, what club do you support and let's start d PUB Jokes

He's a bloody scouser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LOSERS!

chamotex:

He's a bloody scouser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LOSERS!

LOSERS?? Thatz meant for the ARSES(5 years without a trophy!!)
When a club goes 20 years without a trophy, they are ETERNAL losers.
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[size=18pt]Manchester United launch £63m bid for Bayern Munich's Franck Ribery[/size]

Manchester United have made an offer of about €70m (£62.5m) for the Bayern Munich midfielder Franck Ribéry as they close in on a deal that would shatter the world transfer record.

Sources in Munich confirmed the bid has been received for the France international, who has made his desire to leave Germany known in the past few weeks. United scouts have repeatedly watched the 26-year-old in recent Bundesliga matches and sounded out his friends and entourage in Munich.

Maga go soon pay shout Halleluyah!!!!

Mugun go soon pay shout Halleluyah

63 million Pounds bring it on boy

dayokanu:

Maga go soon pay shout Halleluyah!!!!

Mugun go soon pay shout Halleluyah

63 million Pounds bring it on boy

If he leaves Bayern Munich, Rummenigge is bleeped.

Frank Ribery? 63 million Pounds? 95 million Dollars?

Bring the money!!!!!

Rummenigge should just bring Man City , Madrid and barcelona into the bidding war and jerk the price to 80million Pounds $120million

Owen Hargreaves 37 appearances in 2 years for 20 million Pounds

Bring the money!!!!!

Maga wan payyyy shout Halleluyah

Mugun wan payyyyyy shout Halleluyah

dayo,
You should be ashamed that your once-upon-a-time-big-team Bayern sold Owen to United with an injury at that price.
No wonder they are running from pillar to post.Reaping the rewards of fraudulent transfer deals.

Monkey-na
Wetin I do?Take your ugly name back to your thread.

Dayo just feels bad that his people would dare sell Ribery when they still need him.  .  .he's using the ''cash astonishment'' as a cover for his pain.

But seriously, why doesn't Fergie settle Tev at United first before going after more players?

@Eastbay
  Extreme re-mixing of Mukinazza's name is prohibited.

Some clubs are there to win trophies
Some are there to make money and go trophyless
You don't need a soothsayer to tell you were DDk's Bayern belong
They are the one's i call losers. As far as a fan is concerned, the trophy is the only thing to reward my royalty
The owner can worry to grave how much he spends to bring in a player
Just give me player to win trophies which confers on me, the bragging rights!!

Criz,
I agree.
Couldn't help doing a remix on her pre-historic name.like she crawled out of a cave or something.

United will beat arsenal again. Who wanna stake?

I really hope we do not have to shell out that much for Ribery!!!

@BingiNya, dem neva allow you use your old name

I'm not really sure it makes a lot of sense to pay that manner of money for Ribery. Are we selling Ronnie cos that's the only way I think such a transfer can work. Also, do y'all think £32millies is too much for Tevez? Do we pay up or buy alternatives and if so, who do you think fits the bill? I won't be surprised if he's on the bench today

If Barcelona did not sell Ronaldinho and Deco where do you think Xavi, Iniesta and Thierry Henry would have the chance to show their talent?

Ribery? 95million Dollars?

Selllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Hemp One player does not make a club and no player is bigger than a club. The Barcelona-Ronaldinho saga showed this.

Ribery? Get Real Madrid and Man Citeh involved jerk the price up and Sell

If Barcelona did not sell Ronaldinho and Deco where do you think Xavi, Iniesta and Thierry Henry would have the chance to show their talent?

Ribery? 95million Dollars?

Selllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Hemp One player does not make a club and no player is bigger than a club. The Barcelona-Ronaldinho saga showed this.

Ribery? Get Real Madrid and Man Citeh involved jerk the price up and Sell

when we give you the money, spread the money on the field and lets see.
No replacement for a player like that in the world

Ribery and CR7 running things on the flanks can only mean one thing

we are winning sixtuple next season

Guys, what is your line up for tonight?
I think we should just start with the same team that played in the 1st leg.

Chamo
i can't agree with you any better
But i think Ando and Fletcher should drop deeper this time
Ando in particular he is our main anti-dote to Fabregas.
Stifle him and the Arses are down and flat.
As such;

VDS
O'shea Ferdinand Vidic Evra

Fletcher Anderson
Carrick
Ronaldo Rooney
Tevez/Berbatov

I think this combo will deliever the goods
I am still marvelling at how Fletcher has contributed this season albeit quietly
He seems to have a stake in the middle. Big ups to him. Fletcher the shit packer!!!

Just that i'll prefer rapahel as the RB.
Not disrespecting O'shea for whats hes done, but i dont just get comfortable when hes playing.

Fletcher and Ando should be able to do some magic
Are we looking at JSPark playing?
Thats another power playing that could help mark out the infidels

nyways, we are still gonna win even if macheda plays

THERE A THOUSANDS UNITED IN THE WORLD, NO 1 IS JUST MANCHESTER UNITED, THE TRUE UNITED.GO GO GO GO GO GO OGO OGO OGO GO GO OGO OGO OGO OGO BOYZ W'VE SET THE RECORDS BEFORE AND NOW WE ARE DOING IT FOR OTHERS TO STRIVE AND FOLLOW
1 UNITED,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE RED DEVILS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TK
for once i just think i have to quit this lack of confidence on O'shea
He seems unintelligent going forward but you can see what its all about last wednesday
He also got more experience than Rafael. I would have had him assuming something is wrong.
But just give him that benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, if we scale thru tonight, he will play in Rome according to Fergie!!

I'm more worried about Rooney and Evra copping a yellow

TK
for once i just think i have to quit this lack of confidence on O'shea
He seems unintelligent going forward but you can see what its all about last wednesday
He also got more experience than Rafael. I would have had him assuming something is wrong.
But just give him that benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, if we scale thru tonight, he will play in Rome according to Fergie!!

of course if we scale tru, he shld be in Rome!
The way the dude took that shot against the Arses is bazookalike. (i Like)

nyways, some few hours to go
we shall see

Chamotex
Im sure Evra and Rooney are aware of the consequences of getting a yellow.
They just need to come clean today cos we need them in Rome.
we cant afford to be flyweight against Chelsea/Barca

chamotex:

Guys, what is your line up for tonight?
I think we should just start with the same team that played in the 1st leg.

Exactly!!! We need to attack from the blast of the whistle so them Arses will know we are taking no prisoners.

its game over once we score, especially if we score first.

Am loving Ando and Fletcher in that midfield, they seem to know how to compliment each other, it showed in the first game. Arses were lucky they did not conceed more than a goal and thats what they would be banking on.

We shall see.

One UNITED

Buy Ribery?

If that happens it means two things -either end of the road for Nani, or CR7 might still be contemplating departure.

But for 63m?? Scumtwats have money to waste - beware of buying another dud from the Munchen club. Besides, y'all cannot get anyone as good as AA23 so good luck.

Good luck scumtwats - I hope Rooney gets sent off, Ronaldo gets frustrated and complains all night long and that Ade and RVP rape and pillage your defence.

What luck could be better than that?