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@ chaircover,

You are right! It is better to leave and start afresh than to bring another woman/man in the home! The wahala is more than unnecesary, but I tell you, there are cases when the 2nd wife doesn't even know of the first wife, especially when they are in two seperate countries.

This, is when the man is to truly blame.

@ Poster
I totally understand everyone's feeling on this topic. Cos i've been there too. I tried pleasing my step-mum at the detriment of my relationship with my biological mother and father. Today, i can authoritatively tell u that its not worth it. We are not even on speaking terms let alone being friendly.

Suffice it to say that not all your half-siblings will be untrustworthy. But you must operate with them with a discerning mind and be spiritually conscious. I dont mean being diabolical cos u can never fight evil with evil. Just have God as ur succor and refuge and all is well.

One last advice, try not to end up being a polygamist yourself. It is a sure way of reducing this scourge.

Blood is thicker than water.pretend to have forgotten and welcome them,then if they exhibit their mums trait of disunity and lack of love,push them away,period.

I don't understand why people are polygamous. If you're married and you're tired of your wife, get a girlfriend like others and make sure you use a condom. Must you maintain more than one wife?

If you want more children, then make it clear to said girlfriend what you want. Nigerians should learn to communicate more.

As for the topic, i don't trust anybody, so i wouldn't know. Even your own full brother or sister can disappoint you. There is no formula to the whole thing.

well it depends,if the scenario pemits why not?

Well, as a muslim, there is nothing like half brother or step brother in islam . . .

your brothers are your brothers . . .

You must fufil all your rights over them . . .

- Right of family
-Right of islamic brotherhood
- And right of neighbour if u are staying under the same roof . . .

So the same way the issue of trust applies to ur "full" brothers is the same way it applies to your "half brothers"

oNe

Well I see nothing wrong in it . In the real sense trust nobody if you are really insecure. Cos for me I dont trust anybody my father, mother, step brother, wife even me ! So trust is not about if the person is a family relative or not. I deal with everyone independently and judge them by their characters.

And by the way my step brother slept my house over night I dropped him off at the family house this morning. We just lost our dad recently and they are still young. My dad didn't train us that way. All his kids join him under one roof every weekend, and he cooks special dishes his wife wont cook . He does the cooking at weekends only for his CHILDREN! And after all takes us all out!!!! 10 of us , till the grown folks among us started getting busy and not being able to be with him at weekends. With the weekend hook ups he was able to pass is values etc. As a matter of fact I may consider his style of polygamy.

He prolly wanted more children because his mother only HAD HIM, all other kids from his mother died young, either at birth or before age 3 .

If not that my half brothers/sisters are lighter in skin complexion no-one woulda known. Ajayi is AJAYI

Sorry my user name is TESLIM , I dont know how I logged in with that name AJAYI1, I think its for my younger sibling who used my pc but , i hope you got my point

Lai-Lai.
i have half-siblings from three different mothers.
A nightmare at best.One day i hope to write my story.I would never wish polygamy on my worst enemy.
The paranoia of "who is doing me",even if whats going wrong might be normal to the average person out there.The deceit,back-biting,quarrel and squabbles,hate,jealousy,overly competitive,survival of the fittest at such younga ages,etc.
I could go on and on.
I cannot count how many ex-boyfriends(okay just two) i broke up with immediately i found out they already had kids.I will never accept to bring my kids up in such hostile environments.And teh choices we make as parents ALWAYS affects our kids one way or another.My kids deserve the best and the best they shall get when the time comes.

i guess it depends on how they are brought up. i have an aunty whose husband strayed out tho he still maintains his first family. goes over to the other side to sleep from friday to sunday (he does not miss it for the world)
what a life. the other wife cant get pregnant for him and she is relatively young (heard my aunt pronounced a swear on her)
i hate polygamy with a passion. too much wahala

touchmeder:

i guess it depends on how they are brought up. i have an aunty whose husband strayed out tho he still maintains his first family. goes over to the other side to sleep from friday to sunday (he does not miss it for the world)
what a life. the other wife cant get pregnant for him and she is relatively young (heard my aunt pronounced a swear on her)
i hate polygamy with a passion. too much wahala

why didn't she 'pronounce' a swear for her husband?

Just wanted to point out that the correct word is POLYGAMY and not POLYGAMISM

Polygamy
My Mum came from a very big and loving polygamous home.I mean real bigggg. . . .there were abt 8 wives.The man was a king so he cud take care of them.There was so much love and peace in that home.Each wife and her kids had a flat within the palace.all of the kids went to same school,no special prefrences.The wives took turn to cook for their hubby,they all got the same amt of pocket money and provision every week.lol
Today,the love still radiates.i love all my aunts and uncles and am so safe and secured with them.
@Poster,i wont stop loving my step-siblings just cos they are my step-siblings unless they give me reasons not to.If i did not grow up with them,anytime i meet them in life,i wud try to be warm and loving to them BUT if they dont want or sound unkind to me. . . . .i wud dust them off and move on.In most cases however,step-siblings rivarly arise when kids let their mothers jugdement and grudges get at them

my candid opinion never trust ur step's cos i heard a very horrible experience not sometin i would ever wish my worst enemy, but God knows in my heart of heart i've forgiven them 'all and moved on,

if i had any steps
i wouldnt trust them_{thank God i dont hav any}

I dont have half siblings but my grandpa had 6 wives and 32 kids.You could never tell who was who around the house.I always admired his household .There was so much peace and harmony in his home.I think it all depends on the man;the way he plans his house thats the way love will develop among the wives and children.

Someone send an email to my boss requesting to know if i am fro a muslim home,i replied to read the answer in the forum/thread.Actually my dad is a christian an elder in an Anglican church, though he was born a muslim with the last name Bello .We were all given Christian names at birth but i adopted the name Binta because my grannny love to call me that and i did love it. i hope i am clear a bit.I love all my siblings,i still share what you call secrets with them,they are always there for me.

If momas kids, no sweat. but papas! u ve gota watch ur back. they c'd b gd but alwayz a thing to talk abt n no time u know! they re artifact, treasures but ur friend c'd be more useful to ya. 4 God sake! luv freely, trust no one n keep moving, dnt stop d shine 4 oda buddies problem.

I simply dislike polygamy. I have half brothers and sisters and I can never trust them as I trust my mum's kids. Being of same mum makes things different. One should be friends with half siblings but be very cautious in dealing with them.

Poly or Mono, trust is not easy.

I wasn't brought up in a polygamous home but my husband was though the wives and children were not under one roof. He trusts his step bros and sis but then he's a very friendly person though he says he'd never do same as his father- Big AMEN to that.I pray I never find myself in a polygamous situation as much as I say I will leave him first before that happens to me; surely a fair number of the women who have/are experiencing it must have said the same.

One of his friends recently discovered his dad had a 30 year old son and he can't understand why his mom would not let the son/man into their house to visit his newly discovered dad. I said I wouldn't allow it either though it's easier to forgive the husband 30 years on. I agree with Chaircover on this one.

. I said I wouldn't allow it either though it's easier to forgive the husband 30 years on. I agree with Chaircover on this one.

why won't you allow the son to see his dad.

O wait let me guess, The son must not get an inheritance huh?

It's very selfish not to let someone have a relationship with their parent.

I simply dislike polygamy since it is against the law of God except if the husband of the wife dies and wishes to remarry or the wife of the husband wishes to remarry. But talking about trusting half brothers and sisters, to face the truth now, i think it is impossible.

My one and only reason is simple, the bible made us understand that we should trust only HIM (GOD) and no one else. For this single reason, i hardly trust myself not to talk of trusting other people.

Sorry i've been blabing, but i have to say a big NO to the question that "I CANNOT TRUST MY HALF BROTHERS AND SISTERS" final!!!

I simply dislike polygamy since it is against the law of God

what part of the bible says Polygamy is wrong? and what makes the bible the law of God?

Like anybody else, it is wise to get to know them first and then make your judgements, don't pre-judge based on the fact that they're half siblings.

trust my half siblings?

i dont think so.

plenty water don pass under d bridge.

I don't have such. . . in my family!
If I did. . . I would have to go by individual actions and behaviors.
The would be no different from how I view the siblings from the same mom and dad I have.

IT DEPENDS ON WHAT I COULD TRUST THEM WITH ALSO. . . .

ifyalways: Dont let the in-house politics and squabbles push u to hating unnecessarily .How did their mum destroy ur parents marriage?cos ur dad married her?
I wud relate with my step-siblings just fine atleast till they give me reasons to do otherwise.Love,respect and treat them well and i believe they wud reciprocate but well if they dont, shrug them off ur shoulders and pretend they dont exist.

Well spoken and acted..@op