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For POTENTIAL Parents...principles Of Good Parenting by Dbestmax(m): 8:57am On Oct 27, 2015 |
1. What you do matters .
Whether it's your own
health behaviors or the way
you treat other people, your children are learning
from what you do. "This is one of the most
important principles," Steinberg explains. "What you
do makes a difference...Don't just react on the spur
of the moment. Ask yourself, What do I want to
accomplish, and is this likely to produce that
result?"
2. You cannot be too loving. "It is simply not
possible to spoil a child with love," Steinberg writes.
"What we often think of as the product of spoiling a
child is never the result of showing a child too much
love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place
of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material
possessions."
3. Be involved in your child's life . "Being an involved parent takes
time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and
rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what
you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally
as well as physically."
Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or
correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the
child is learning or not," Steinberg says. "If you do the homework,
you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child . Keep pace with your
child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age
is affecting the child's behavior.
"The same drive for independence that is making your 3-year-old
say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained,"
writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is
making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom
also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."
5. Establish and set rules. "If you don't manage your child's
behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how
to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any
time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer
these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child?
What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you
are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.
"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg notes. "Once
they're in middle school, you need to let the child do their own
homework, make their own choices and not intervene."
6. Foster your child's independence . "Setting limits helps your
child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence
helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life,
she's going to need both."
It's normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg.
"Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with
rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence
because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather
than to feel controlled by someone else."
7. Be consistent. "If your rules vary from day to day in an
unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently,
your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important
disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The
more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the
less your child will challenge it."
8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under
any circumstances, Steinberg says. "Children who are spanked,
hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he
writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use
aggression to solve disputes with others."
"There are many other ways to discipline a child -- including 'time
out' -- which work better and do not involve aggression."
9. Explain your rules and decisions . "Good parents have
expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes.
"Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain
to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-
year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience
that you have."
10. Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful
treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg
writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would
give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion.
Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to
please him when you can. Children treat others the way their
parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the
foundation for her relationships with others." www.medicinenet.com/parenting/page2.htm |
Re: For POTENTIAL Parents...principles Of Good Parenting by nairalandmaster(f): 8:57am On Oct 27, 2015 |
op you are so on point. |
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