Scores For The First Round Of The NPC Collaboration Poetry Competition:

Contestants 2: emaculate99 & funlord

Judge 1: 93
Judge 2: 84
Judge 3: 93
Accumulative Total: 270

Contestants 3: Jigsawkillah & Imanuelle

Judge 1: 94
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 93
Accumulative Total: 270

Contestants 4: LadyF & 69MissedCalls

Judge 1: 91
Judge 2: 75
Judge 3: 83
Accumulative Total: 249

Contestants 5: rainiscoming & divinepen

Judge 1: 98
Judge 2: 84
Judge 3: 91
Accumulative Total: 273

Contestants 7: babyfaceafrica & barcaboi.

Judge 1: 90
Judge 2: 79
Judge 3: 85
Accumulative Total: 254

Contestants 8: slidewaxie & uncjay

Judge 1: 98
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 91
Accumulative Total: 272

Contestants 9: obiZEAL & Cosmasel

Judge 1: 97
Judge 2: 81
Judge 3: 89
Accumulative Total: 267

Contestants 11: Emyemyberry & alexdidi

Judge 1: 95
Judge 2: 82
Judge 2: 89
Accumulative Total: 266

Contestants 15: Divepen1 & Gr8Adedayo

Judge 1: 97
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 90
Accumulative Total: 270

Contestants 22: Ibnzubair & Donjowebs

Judge 1: 90
Judge 2: 73
Judge 3: 82
Accumulative Total: 246

Contestants 28: Smartlife & Kagari:

Judge 1: 92
Judge 2: 84
Judge 3: 88
Accumulative Total: 264

Contestants 30: PopeExplicit and Oyetunder

Judge 1: 92
Judge 2: 87
Judge 3: 90
Accumulative Total: 269

Contestants 34: trailblaiza & generaliy07

Judge 1: 95
Judge 2: 79
Judge 3: 87
Accumulative Total: 261

Contestants 36: Tuminibody & dchiefpriest

Judge 1: 94
Judge 2: 79
Judge 3: 87
Accumulative Total: 260

Contestants 45: Vantee20 & tkush

Judge 1: 96
Judge 2: 78
Judge 3: 87
Accumulative Total: 261

Contestants 46: Oracle009 & Kraftykc

Judge 1: 93
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 88
Accumulative Total: 264

Contestants 49: SHIZZY7 & Drabeey

Judge 1: 97
Judge 2: 78
Judge 3: 88
Accumulative Total: 263

Contestants 50: threedots & Chuksab

Judge 1: 92
Judge 2: 89
Judge 3: 91
Accumulative Total: 272

Contestants 53: Larryfly & IGITee

Judge 1: 96
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 90
Accumulative Total: 269

Contestants 55: april4mee & israelboy1

Judge 1: 96
Judge 2: 78
Judge 3: 74
Accumulative Total: 248

Contestants 56 : TheAgba & Speeder

Judge 1: 94
Judge 2: 86
Judge 3: 90
Accumulative Total: 270

Contestants 57: Orjhong & Wisdomkosi

Judge 1: 93
Judge 2: 85
Judge 3: 89
Accumulative Total: 267

Contestants 63: pureIvory & spidey77

Judge 1: 98
Judge 2: 82
Judge 3: 90
Accumulative Total: 270

Contestants 64: desmondDessi & beejayodus

Judge 1: 94
Judge 2: 83
Judge 3: 89
Accumulative Total: 266

Contestants 65: Weno & TheSCRYPT

Judge 1: 94
Judge 2: 88
Judge 3: 91
Accumulative Total: 273

Making It To The Next Round Are:

Contestants 5: rainiscoming & divinepen with 273 points..

Contestants 65: Weno & TheSCRYPT with 273 points...

Contestants 8: slidewaxie & uncjay with 272 points...

Contestants 50: threedots & Chuksab with 272 points...

Contestants 2: emaculate99 & funlord with 270 points...

Contestants 3: Jigsawkillah & Imanuelle with 270 points..

Contestants 15: Divepen1 & Gr8Adedayo with 270 points..

Contestants 56 : TheAgba & Speeder with 270 points...

Contestants 63: pureIvory & spidey77 with 270 points...


Congratulations poets....


Your next deadline is 11:59pm, on the 24th of November.

The writer of the haikus and the writer of the two liners should be mentioned at the start of the submission. Remember that your poems will be judged by these criteria:

i. Compliance To Renga Rules (50 marks)

ii. Grammatical Accuracy (20 marks)

iii. Poetic Devices (20 marks)

iv. Organization/Structure (10 marks)

& Goodluck....

All comments should go here:

www.nairaland.com/2708057/npc-collaboration-poetry-competition-season/13#40170495

uncjay:
.

Why delete your poem?

llaykorn, when and where are we to submit the poem?

llaykorn:
Making It To The Next Round Are:

Contestants 5: rainiscoming & divinepen with 273 points..

Contestants 65: Weno & TheSCRYPT with 273 points...

Contestants 8: slidewaxie & uncjay with 272 points...

Contestants 50: threedots & Chuksab with 272 points...

Contestants 2: emaculate99 & funlord with 270 points...

Contestants 3: Jigsawkillah & Imanuelle with 270 points..

Contestants 15: Divepen1 & Gr8Adedayo with 270 points..

Contestants 56 : TheAgba & Speeder with 270 points...

Contestants 63: pureIvory & spidey77 with 270 points...


Congratulations poets....


Your next deadline is 11:59pm, on the 24th of November.

The writer of the haikus and the writer of the two liners should be mentioned at the start of the submission. Remember that your poems will be judged by these criteria:

i. Compliance To Renga Rules (50 marks)

ii. Grammatical Accuracy (20 marks)

iii. Poetic Devices (20 marks)

iv. Organization/Structure (10 marks)

& Goodluck....

All comments should go here:

www.nairaland.com/2708057/npc-collaboration-poetry-competition-season/13#40170495

llaykorn, when and where are we to submit the poem?

IN MEMORY OF GRACE MISHELIA

A beauty to behold, a breed rare
Is Grace Mishelia, I can safely declare.
She is gentle and well endowed,
A lady of grace, one in the crowd. (rainiscoming)

She is meek, gentle and nice
Ever so determined to keep her ice
As a filling prize
For the man who paid the price. (divinepen)

A beau of glitz and glamour,
So beautiful, the bold stammer.
With heart in the mouth, neat and styled.
I once said “Hi” and she smiled.(rainiscoming)

My heart warmed at the balm of her smile
Unaware of the long fangs like the Nile
Licking up the fibre of life
From the soul so light. (divinepen)

Grace, Grace, everyone loves Grace,
Who won’t? Seeing her lovely face.
Why? The damsel of many’s day dream,
Had such a bomb in her bloodstream.(rainiscoming)

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
The clock kept ticking
With the ghostly vampire in its wake
Swarming for the golden soul to rake.(divinepen)

The heavens wept, no one to blame,
The day the medical result came.
Shocked! We were all in denial
There must be an error in the trial!(rainiscoming)

A stitch in time could have saved nine
If only it was in the days of Nain
For a miracle we believed
But death would not be relieved. (divinepen)

No one should face such a death!
Grace, Grace, my eyes are still wet!
How could such a tiny lump,
Appear on a breast so plump? (rainiscoming)

A tiny lump that heralded death
Spiralling into the deepest depth
What can you tend
When you can only wait for the end? (divinepen)

The end came but not swiftly enough,
The drugs were tough and rough.
We prayed earnestly and in haste.
As her life was laid waste. (rainiscoming)

The breasts once taut and firm
Became like a wasted farm
Corrupting all in their path
Till all became a mass of mangled parts. (divinepen)

The doctor shook his head in pity,
If only Grace had screened her ti.tty
“We’d have stopped the tumour’s advance.
Giving Grace a fighting chance.” (rainiscoming)

The tears began to flow
But her spirit increased its glow
Be not proud, O cancer
She has soared to her answer. (divinepen)

And that’s why at age twenty four
Grace now reposes below the floor.
May other young gals learn and beware!
Life is more than your clothes, face and hair!(rainiscoming)
ANALYSIS
The poem is written in memory of a young lady who lost her life to breast cancer. She was a “breed rare”, “well endowed” and yet “determined to keep her ice” for the man who will pay her bride price.
Despite her virtue, ignorance about the “tiny lump” in her breast empowered the “bomb in her bloodstream” to explode “till all became a mass of mangled parts”.
The poem painted the helplessness of many cancer victims –“What can you tend when you can only wait for the end?”
The poem advocates for regular breast screening among females as Grace would have lived if she “had screened her ti.tty”.
The poem employs a lot of AABB rhyme as in “rare, declare, endowed, crowd”, “enough, rough, haste, waste” and so on. Onomatopoeia was used in “tick, tock, tick, tock”-the sound of a clock. Simile was also used in “like a wasted farm” and “like the Nile”. Personification was also used in “the heavens wept”.

Contestant number 8: SLIDEwaxie and uncjay

"The haikus" consisting of stanzas 1,3,5, and 7 was written by SLIDEwaxie

"The couplets" consisting of stanzas 2,4,6 and 8 was written by Uncjay


******************************************
HOPING FOR HOPE

Like a man stabbed in his arteries,
Like a light struggling in total darkness
I lose strength every time I breathe,

Like a desert that hopes for waters
I hope, maybe someday, I shall live,

Like a fish whose gills are clogged,
Like a fountain, standing tall without waters
With my hopes withering like the dying petals

And my failures laughing in my face
I could only hope someday, I shall live,

My strength frails with every effort
I eat bread, buttered in my tears
I have nothing worthy of a record,

No one heard my voice cried out
But I hope someday, I shall live

Dying, trying
I must refuse to take my own life
Though it seems the best thing to do

I mus'nt stop, I must always try
For I know, one day, I shall live

******************************************
Brief Analysis...

This poem is inspired by the sad, negative muse of the poets (slidewaxie and uncjay) as they got themselves enveloped in empathy in relation to the struggling of youth of today (Nigeria to be a perfect example). This particular man is troubled by the thoughts of suicide everyday of his life as his efforts to be financially free were ridiculed by the might of corruption around him. Struggling hard not to be deterred, he continued with his effort, hoping that one day, he shall be free!

Though the poem picture the one consoling himself with an abstract hope for a better future, it also castigate the unethical measures of low standard of living mounted on us by the presence of a couspicious corrupt ravaged administration in our country. Hence the question, of what purpose does the lives of the masses serve? Yet in our plethora predicament we still long that tomorrow will be better.

A renga poem it is, it consist of eight ( stanzas, 4 haikus and 4 couplets. The poem is equipped with figure of speech such as, simile, metaphor, personification etc, and quality imagery.

Contestants 65: Weno, TheSCRYPT

Nature's Call

TheSCRYPT

The atmosphere dry
they inhale the dusty wind
derma scaly dry

Weno

Oh what on earth could this be?
this cold will kill the whole world

TheSCRYPT

Sun smiles in anger
could it be hotter than hell?
for their bodies weep

Weno

Leaves play unclad in the yard
becoming tired limping

TheSCRYPT

Rose playing rose falls
rose rose rose to the medic
the rain her sight drips

Weno

The ocean runs the sky down
screaming screeching gbuu gbuu gbu

TheSCRYPT

Marianer trench
is not as deep as we think
for I have swam there

Weno

She is a beautiful girl
married to a mariner

TheSCRYPT

Its so natural
even the clouds are marvelled
the stars bow in awe

Weno

Always greener everyday
it's as fresh as the cow's dung

TheSCRYPT

Handsome daisies speak
the language of the unborn
and sing like humans

Weno

Sweet november he met her
and gave her a renga poem


POETIC ANALYSIS

'Nature's Call', talks about different seasons we have in Nigeria, which can be seen in verse one, verse three and verse six. We can't avoid these seasons, its only natural they occur. It also talks about the 'marianer trench', which in nature is the deepest part of the Ocean.
However, there are internal links in this poem which is illustrated below.

All the three lines in this poem are referred to as 'haiku', which has a 5-7-5 syllable structure. All the couplets in this poem have a 7-7 syllable structure.
Verse one talks about the harmattan season, which is linked to verse two, the 'cold' weather we experience during harmattan.
Verse three refers to the hot weather, which is opposite of the cold weather in verse two, which is also the linking point.
Verse four talks about 'leaves playing unclad in the yard', the 'leaves' here, refers to 'children', which is linked to the hot weather in verse three. They play unclad because of the hot weather in verse three.
The fifth verse links with verse four because it refers to a little girl 'Rose', playing with a' Rose flower', she is among the 'children', 'leaves' playing unclad in verse four. She falls to the ground, another person called 'Rose' rose (carried) the little girl 'Rose' and takes her to the hospital, as little 'Rose' cries.
The link between verse six and five, 'the Ocean runs down the Sky' is the 'rain', 'tears' that Rose shed in verse five.
The link between the seventh and sixth verse is the 'Ocean' in verse six that connects with 'Marianer Trench' in verse seven.
Verse eight refers to a girl called 'Marianer', married to a Mariner. This connects to 'Marianer Trench' in verse seven.
Verse nine, 'its so natural' refers to 'the beautiful girl in verse eight.
In verse ten, 'always greener', links with 'natural' in verse nine.
'Fresh' in verse ten can be linked to 'daisies' in verse eleven.
'Handsome', in verse eleven refers to the 'lad' in verse twelve that met the lady in 'sweet november'.

POETIC DEVICES

RHETORICAL QUESTION:

Verse two: 'Oh what on Earth could this be?'
Verse three: 'Could it be hotter than hell?'

PERSONIFICATION:

Verse two: 'Sun smiles in anger'.
Verse four: 'Leaves play unclad in the yard becoming tired limping'.
Verse six: 'The Ocean runs the sky down'.
Verse nine: 'the clouds are marvelled', 'the stars bow in awe'.
Verse eleven: 'handsome daisies'.

HYPERBOLE:

Verse two: 'this cold will kill the World'.
Verse three: 'for their bodies weep'.
Verse five: 'the rain her sight drips'

PUN:

Verse five: 'Rose rose rose to the medic'.

IRONY:

Verse seven: 'Marianer trench is not as deep as we think for I have swam there'.
Verse ten: 'its as fresh as the cow dung'.

ONOMATOPOEIA:

Verse six: 'screaming screeching gbuu gbuu gbu'.

RHYME:

Verse two: 'will, kill'.
Verse seven and eight: 'marianer , married, mariner'.

SIMILIE:

Verse ten: 'as fresh as the cow's dung'.

Contestants 3:
Jigsawkillah and Imanuelle

The Haikus were written by Jigsawkillah while the Couplets were
written by Imanuelle




Title: Revolution




Nigeria is great
And blessed with corrupt leaders
The trend never ends

Thence, comes with thick cloudy stench
A million youths, cries for change


We plead, they said vote!
We did, blinded we were, called
Sarcastic smiles, hope!

But now that we know better
We march for much much better


Time to take a stand
We want democracy
But not this charade

An era to raise our voice
Justice prevailing in all


Conflict is a tool
Inevitable for change
I see change in range

From where do we start this phase
Happy lives and broken chains


First we get our youths
Armed to the tooth, with knowledge
Of our ancient roots

Guided by reason and cause
Hopes for the rise of the sun


Activists have failed
The media? Profit inclined
Recycling same tales

But together we must stand
Hands in hands and words to mars


We towing war paths
Leaders above age 60
Death is what they'd have

The price for our broken hearts
For our dreams that fell apart


Girls, safeguard your wombs
We will need those leaders soon
Boys, prepare your tools

Through the media, air your views
When they call for truce, refuse


A civil war's next
We will offer our necks and
Give our future heads

And pray, and pray for morrow
That smiles spring up from sorrows


For through the darkness
And the wilderness, will we
Get to the promised land

Joy and merry in our hearts
Birth a nation blessed with peace



ANALYSIS


All around the world, there's a clamour for change, a complete overhauling of systems, hearts distressed with prayers for change. People have gathered, in units, in tens, in hundreds, in thousands, and in millions, towards the common goal; to be free from oppression, to carry a lighter burden, or even none at all.

They sometimes run to the media, who pick sides with the highest bidders, then they drift towards the elites, who wipe their tears with one hand, and in selfishness inflict slavery with the other.

East, West, North or South, it is clear that no one else but themselves is all they have, so they raise their voices and take to the streets, they lose loved ones and some lose their feet, but they March on without a space in their hearts to concede defeat.

They may win, they may be free, or they may yet invoke harsher decrees, but then they learn to know who to trust, and that they are all they've got.

By Contestants 15 (Divepen1 and Gr8Adedayo)


Haikus by Gr8Adedayo
Two-liners by Divepen1

[b]THE IMAGE IN THE MIRROR

The gargantuan
lantern grinning as it lets
its rays touch the earth

heaven came down to reach us
there's no magic here

Making her tent
she shielded against the breeze
that touches with a blush

a constellation of kisses
where the mouths meet the organs

staring at the moon
she can tell it's going broke-
it's down to its last quarter

as if gliding homeward
leaves answered to gravity

glowing tiny flies
dressing the whole empty street
for a sure fun-fair

come Autumn- the gentle one
that soot the temper of summer

rumbling sound above
thick cloud like a dyed wool
the soils cannot wait

triumphantly sitting
her head takes spot on her neck

she caused what she is facing
the image in the mirror
Imitates what she does

at midnight- what everyone
needs isn't light

able workers tread
paths on wall- heading for store
to gather harvest

drumming wind and dancing leaves
hinting the rain to sing

three things
cannot be long hidden
the sun, moon and truth

look me in the two eyes
and tell me that you are real.

whenever in thoughts
I try not to think too much
about whence comest my voice

I'm channeling emotion
to come up with words for tales

she's clot in hard earth
earned a home made of timber
she'll be odd next year

I heard it then in her own thoughts
the wail that follows regrets

Accept not the rose
in your worst mood- be patient
wait,the spring has come

no storm will last forever
no season skips its own turn[/b]


ANALYSIS

This is a renga poem that starts with the summer as seen in the opening hokku (with 5,7,5 syllables) Summer is a season when the sun's intensity is mostly felt than every other seasons. The sun is the gargantuan lantern.

The poem starts in the summer, through autumn (4th two-liner), winter (7th two-liner) and terminates in the spring (11th haiku). There is a link and shift in line.

The poem also tries to evoke the image of the natural world. It features the moon (third haiku), insect (4th haiku), flower (11th haiku) and seasons.

A story is written in codes here. About a lady who went through self-caused pains and eventually died. That's where the theme of the poem hides. (She caused what she's facing, the image in the mirror, imitates whatever she does- Haiku 6. Line 1,2,3.) Like Karma or Newton's third law of motion. She got served.

Other natural images featured in the poem are rain (5th haiku), beauty(5th two-liner), self inflicted pain (poetic- 6th haiku), death/burial (10th haiku) music (2nd two-liner. Mouth organs)

One can notice the haikus have the 5,7,5 syllable structure. And the two-liners have 7,7 syllable structure.

POETIC DEVICES

1. Simile- thick cloud like a dyed wool (haiku 5, line2)

2. Personification- drumming wind and dancing leaves (two-liner 7, line1)

3. Euphemism- she's clot in hard earth (haiku 10,line 1)

4. Paradox- I heard it then in her own thoughts (two-liner 1O. Line 1)

5. Imagery- thick cloud like a dyed wool (haiku 5, line 2)

Peace

Contestants 56 (TheAgba and speeder)

Phone numbers (Speeder: 08096809091, TheAgba:0811 124 9423)

NB (Every Stanza involves two sections. The haiku and the couplet. Every haiku is composed by Speeder and every couplet is composed by TheAgba )

Structure of the poem: To create a Renga, one poet writes the first stanza , which is three lines long with a total of seventeen syllables – the same structure as a haiku. The next poet adds the second stanza, a couplet with seven syllables per line {5-7-5-7-7}. The second stanza repeats the structure of the first (another haiku and couplet) alternating in this pattern until the poem is completed.


RIDICULOUSNESS OF NATURE

Stanza 1

Nature has played foul
Cursed to make winter so cold
While the spring burns deep

Only burns in Sahara
And frosts in America.

Stanza 2

What say you of Jane?
Birthed with no hands and limbs
Indeed! Nature flopped

Jane's mom to blame for her warp
Antenatal she took for dart.

Stanza 3

Plagued with the DISEASE
Cancer, it is called- from hell;
Cursed. No drug for cure

Truly, nature played falsely
The knowing brings death quickly

Stanza 4

The earthquake it brought
Men with power to condemn-
It muted with sleep

Much mysteries it thus evoke
When God cooks, you don't see smoke

Stanza 5

Noah's rain of flood surged on
The rainbow out to mock us
Cause homes and lands lost

Some poets can be shortsighted
Relevance of rain misjudged

Stanza 6

Breeze, nature calls it
The violence of the said breeze
Torments us yet daily

Necessary evil we take on
We gain, we loose. We move on.

Stanza 7

It yet amazes me
The frequency of bane wars
That plunders with smile

From Genesis it took root
I pray an exodus boots.

Stanza 8

It brought class structure
Bourgeois, Proletariats
Creating a rift

Those with power to grab, grab
Evolution becomes crap

Stanza 9

If ten years was mine
I'll curse Nature in Eleven
And honour the loss

Unanswering to its queries
Its merits, nice like berries.

Stanza 10

Of Dying questions
Lacking plausible answers
The God of the gaps

Prides itself of great havoc
Dances like a god invoked

Stanza 11

Come thee Poseidon
I beckon you Hephaestus
What wait you Ares

I call upon you pissed gods
Avenge me without remorse

ANALYSIS
The poem is an anti-romantic poem. Many poets writes about the beauty of nature forgetting about the disastrous consequences of loving nature. The poets here try to point out the Ridiculousness of Nature. Although, the poets have conflicting ideas. Since the renga poem involves more than one poet, the writer of the haiku seems to capture the sinister effects of nature in the haiku, the second poet tries as much to exonerate nature in the couplet.

Poetic Devices

Similes :
S9L5: "its merit, nice like berries"
S10L5: "Dances like a god invoked"

Metaphors :
S1L4: "Only burns in Sahara"
S4L5: "When God cooks, you don't see smoke"
S7L2: "The frequency of bane wars"

Euphemism :
S4L3: "It muted with sleep"

Allusions :
S5L1: "Noah's rain of flood surged on" (biblical)
S11L1: "Come thee Poseidon" (classical)
S11L2: "I beckon you Hephaestus" (classical)
S11L3: "What wait you Ares" (classical)

Inversion :
S2L1: "What say you of Jane?"

Repetition :
S8L4: "Those with power to grab, grab"

Rhyme Scheme :
Every couplet rhymes

Oxymoron :
S6L4: "Necessary evil we take on"

Paradox :
S10L3: "God of the gaps"

Personifications :
S5L2: "The rainbow out to mock us"
S6L1: "Breeze, nature calls it"

Proverb:
S4L5: "When God cooks, you don't see smoke"(Kenyan proverb).

CONTESTANTS 50

Threedots: The Haikus
Chuksab: The couplets


WE RENGA IN LOVE QUESTIONS

This very question
What is the concept of love?
To fall with your heart-

While you still bring others up
In falling, we learn to fly

And float above dawn.
How do i know who to love
When autumn bears fruit?

Simple! When you look down on
Others, try to look above

My brain cascades still
You're supposed to make me know
And suckle my fears.

Look around you, the answer
Is close to where you stand

I stand in between
Hearts that are too old to sing
Too broken to dance

Then in the madness, learn to
Play harps with no strings attached

That's mad music.
How do i know those i love
Are in love with me?

You really dont have to know
You just have to look within

Issue tissues please.
Nobody cares what's in you,
Bad foods or whirlwind

Then if you love well enough
Soon, they will all see the truth

Truths are but vermins
How then can i believe you
When heart sits on head

By following first all that
You are learning here today

I have learnt nothing
Shadows merry in my brain.
I can't believe you.

You dont have to believe me
Just believe more in yourself.

I am blind to time
Or is there love at first sight
When drunk stars align?

Yes! You should love those you meet
Drink their skin and chew their tears

I am not hungry
I am filled like black death notes
In mid-december.

Its not for you to be filled
But to fill others in need

And when i'm broken?
Shattered like cheap glasses,
Who would love me then?

Out of the many you loved
An angel would blossom out.

You want me to keep
Loving even if i am
Treated right or wrong.

I want you to keep loving
Till you find who treats you right.

Contestant 63- pureivory and spidey77.

All Haiku written by spidey77.
Two liners written by pureivory.

Submitted by pureivory.


It is freaky freezy
Early harmattan slithers
Caking her slick tears


In eve of a birth we cry
Our blood brought this frail cry


The stain of pain
Live amongst us like a reek
Reflections of love


The dry season wets my eyes
Two down, one to go I guess


It is mildly dry
Yet roses grace her bed
Where she lay all pale


Roses that once woo my hand
Our love was more than raindrops


Dejection our norm
Medics appal me this days
Murdering my hopes

It is that time of the year
When its grip summons dare fear

Glee is far from us
Death has smothered all joy
Sickle cell is evil

Cells make no sense to hearts
Solutions loom in our hearts

It dawned on us
Like this harmattan breeze
Hope glides away

Staring at the flowered veil
Yet our sour sweet love prevail


The crisis that come with sickle cell anemia bring untold agony to families. Couples are advice to go on genotype test before marriage and if found incompatible on those basis should not marry.


Poetic Analysis:
The poem reflects the agony of a family with sickler children. The major crisis and death of the first child took place during harmattan season and can be inferred in the second stanza, the eve of Christmas.

"In eve of a birth we cry" line 2, stanza 2.
The parent went further to inform that this daily crisis is brought about by their love for each other without minding the medical implications of their union.
This is seen in the stanza 3 and stanza 10. They even had hopes of coping with the consequence.

"Solutions loom in our hearts" line 2, stanza 10.
The line 2, stanza 4 show the death of another child.
The last child's crisis starts during the rainy season and by harmattan, she dies. Amidst all this trouble, the couples love for each other is still strong, hence the stanza 12;
" Staring at the flowered veil
Yet our sour sweet love prevail."

Theme
The themes of the poem are; Agony of sickle cell anemia. Love against all odds.
These themes are strongly adduced in the above poem.


Structure:
The poem is written in alternating 3 and 2 lines stanzas respectively. The two liners have couplet rhyming scheme.


Diction:
The poem uses simple comprehensible words which are to an extent imaginary. Example, Line 2, stanza 3.


Figures of speech:
Personification: line 3, stanza 7 "Murdering my hopes"
Simile: line 2, stanza 12 "Like this harmattan breeze"

The poem itself dominantly use pathos.
There are many other figures of speech used.

I am sorry for the lateness in uploading my poem. The network in my area was too poor yesterday. The network is still fluctuating. Please bear with me.

Contestants 2: Emaculate99 & Donifez
Haiku: Emaculate99
Two liners: Donifez

TORMENT IN COMFORT

(Emaculate99)
The snowy night beckons,
My body looks so dry and cold,
My bed; my comfort

(Donifez)
My soul mocks its restriction,
Blanket slogs me to dreamland.

(Emaculate99)
Your wonderful hands,
Pathways to my fall into
The cozy ocean

(Donifez)
Where cornets breathe in calmness
And angels sing to the moon.

(Emaculate99)
The chillness of your
Palm sends a signal to me
And I lost myself

(Donifez)
Like a muse on solitude.
oh compass! Show me the way.

(Emaculate99)
I became a feed
To them in their hood as I
Felt their jaw on me.

(Donifez)
Brownish insects with deadly
Beaks turning dreams to reality

(Emaculate99)
The cloud is shifting.
Due to their war strike; blood filled
My tiny little balls

(Donifez)
Their trademark of itchy dots
Leaving a trail of cachet.

(Emaculate99)
The loving hatred
Of the sun on my skin can't
Be fathomed at all.

(Donifez)
Now, I look for the insects
With infuriating eyes.

(Emaculate99)
You! Little bloody
Vampires! The beginning of
Your end has started.

(Donifez)
Lifting my bed; down into
The waiting fierce fire ants nest.

(Emaculate99)
Chopping and jawing.
The blood thirsty insects, out
Of life, they disappear.

(Donifez)
Demon gone, demon come; how
Do i remove these fire ants?

Analysis:
The poem is about the persona's experience with bedbugs.

In a cold night, the persona has no other option than to hide under the comfort of his blanket due to the coldness of the night. His comfort is short lived as a result of the bedbugs attack on his skin. The itchy syndrome of the bedbugs' bite brings the persona to his feet and vows to destroy the insects by introducing their enemy. The bedbugs are destroyed but another devil is made and this time the persona is ignorant on how to remove the new devil.

Figure of speech
Personification:
line 1:The snowy night beckons
line 4: My soul mocks its restriction
line 5: Blanket slogs me to dreamland
line 9: Where cornets breathe in calmness
line 21: The cloud is shifting
line 22: Due to their war strike
line 26/27: The loving hatred/ of the sun...
Rhetorical question:
line 39/40: ...how/do I remove these fire insects.
Oxymoron:
line 26: The loving hatred
Metaphor:
line 19: brownish insects
line 31/32: ... Little bloody/ vampires ...
line 36: blood thirsty insects
Apostrophe:
line 15: Oh compass! Show me the way
line 31/32: You! Little bloody/ vampires
Simile:
line 4: like a muse on solitude
Paradox:
line 39: Demon gone, demon come
Title: Torment in comfort
Line 32/33 : the beginning of /your end has started.

Imanuelle:
[b]Contestants 3:
Jigsawkillah and Imanuelle[/i]

This ur quest of gathering likes won't help you. If u really won, you'll win. Stop beckoning for likes and share to influence the decisions of the moderators.

llaykorn:
Final Scores Will Be Announced, Sunday 29th Of November. Thanks For Your Patience, Poets.

I guess yesterday was sunday.

TheAgba:

I guess yesterday was sunday.

And today is Tuesday.

TheAgba:

I guess yesterday was sunday.

And today is Tuesday.

Contestants 5: rainiscoming & divinepen

Judge 1:

RR Compliance: 25
Grammatical Accuracy: 16
Poetic Devices: 18
Organization: 7

Total: 66

Judge 2:

RR Compliance: 0
Grammatical Accuracy: 10
Poetic Devices: 10
Organization: 5

Total: 25

Judge 3:

RR Compliance: 20
Grammatical Accuracy: 13
Poetic Devices: 19
Organaization: 6

Total: 58

Accumulative Total: 149

Percentage: 49.7 %

Contestants 8: SLIDEwaxie and uncjay

Judge 1:

RR Compliance: 24
Grammatical Accuracy: 15
Poetic Devices: 17
Organaization: 8

Total: 64

Judge 2:

RR Compliance: 0
Grammatical Accuracy: 13
Poetic Devices: 10
Organaization: 5

Total: 28

Judge 3:

RR Compliance: 20
Grammatical Accuracy: 14
Poetic Devices: 13
Organaization: 6

Total: 53

Accumulative Total: 145

Percentage: 48.3 %

Contestants 65: Weno & TheSCRYPT

Judge 1:

RR Compliance: 46
Grammatical Accuracy: 18
Poetic Devices: 18
Organaization: 7

Total: 89

Judge 2:

RR Compliance: 50
Grammatical Accuracy: 17
Poetic Devices: 16
Organaization: 10

Total: 93

Judge 3:

RR Compliance: 49.5
Grammatical Accuracy: 18
Poetic Devices: 17
Organaization: 8.5

Total: 93

Accumulative Total: 275

Percentage: 91.7 %