NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

nice one

speak up or? . . . , . . . , . .

lol cool joke

joke funny e no funny u must open mouth sha

abeg close that mouth full of black and brown germ before u give us swine flu for this place nonsense

Chai! My life!! Big man like me!!! _{See how she pour soup on top my shirt!}

u mean that rag u wore yersterday

no; the rag he wore yesterday that he's still wearing 2day[email] :

who be dis parki sef?

u don forget sey u get six brothers and that ajeparki is one of them?

_{I don't think fish have ass.}

dat cus u dont have it

gbam

Slams?

see toothless mouth of urs

kolanut don finish hin teeth

so boring

abeg go sleep jare

U be questionnaire? or why u dey ask and anwerin question. All this 1 na creativity but try and but more live let pple enjoy ur handwork. takia

Clem, na slams be this?

walahi i zan know

abdulJohn. , go rebrand ur life!

lol, u go fear fear

akwai wahala

parki:

joke funny e no funny u must open mouth sha

abeg close that mouth full of black and brown germ before u give us swine flu for this place nonsense

Please define swine flu if you sabi?

orodo

clem's clam eats bla blas

swam flu can be define, and it will define, it may be define as the interconnection of carnterlized or propargalized deseases that can rediate through a contnbolasalisated parmebro contrabolize park through the gerntalize, romade help me complete hamm i don tire

[s]Lafin My Moda Fucking Ass Off On The God Damn Stinking Floor[/s]