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11 Chapters Called Artificial Bliss-about Love,magic,thriller,horror And Fantasy - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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Fantasy Girl - Poem By Lorretta U / Flying - A Story In Several Chapters / FEDDIE GIRL (an adventure/thriller set in Nigerian Federal School) (2) (3) (4)

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11 Chapters Called Artificial Bliss-about Love,magic,thriller,horror And Fantasy by kenziekace: 3:51am On May 20, 2009
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Part One
The class was so restless that the teacher gave up on the “summer safety” talk and let us chat with each other. Hannah immediately turned to face me.

“I can’t believe is almost over!” she squealed. I sighed.

“It is over, Hannah.”I responded. Hannah was going to Florida for the summer break and didn’t miss a chance to boast about it. I, on the other hand, I had nothing planned but sit around my house and listen to my granddad talk about the single women at bingo that were “eyeing” him.

“Ugh, Winnie! Don’t be such a poopie, - Hey!” she exclaimed, straightening up in her chair, her chestnut brown hair bouncing.  "Why don’t we do something fun before I leave?” Some offer. She’d probably take me shopping for bikinis that she could take with her. I do have to give her credit though- I rarely see Hannah try so hard to get me to go out with her. She kind of just tries halfheartedly and then skips off to her more willing friends.

“No thanks, Hannah. Don’t worry. I’m going to be fine, besides what’s another summer with the old man?” Despite my words, I sighed at the thought of it. She pouted.
“I still feel rotten about missing your birthday.” Hannah never seemed to sallow the fact that I don’t care about my birthday. It was usually drowned out by all the Independence Day celebrations anyways.

“Hannah, it’s okay. Do I ever freak about my birthday? Independence day is celebration enough.” I tried to sound extra convincing. And she brightened.

“Oh, okay!” and she turned around to Emily that was sitting behind me, and continued to talk about they’re upcoming plans. She didn’t seem to care about me still sitting right there.

I know I should’ve been a little happier but it was the last day of grade ten. Do you know what that meant? It meant that instead of just coming home after school and being alone for 6 hours, I would be alone all day. I know it sounds weird for me to be alone all the time, it’s because even for an old man, Granddad still liked to the pass the time with working all the time as a handyman. So I’m mostly left at home to fend for myself- I don’t mind it much. But sometimes, it gets to me and I have to get out of the house before I explode.

The shrill school bell rang interrupting my thoughts. The class erupted into a loud cheer and started to run out and I saw Hannah get up and walk way talking loudly with Emily and her friends.

“Hannah!” I tried to yell to her but I couldn’t be heard over all the noise. Emily turned around to look right at me, but then went right back to her conversation with Hannah. Hannah didn’t notice as she walked away without looking back at me, leaving with the rest of the class. I was left alone and I began putting my books into my bag slowly. What was the rush anyway? I wouldn’t want to hurry home or anything.

“Not hurrying to catch up with summer are you, Winifred?” Miss Caleb asked me looking up from her computer. The hallways were already silent.

“Um…Well, I don’t have anything special planned.”  I quickly looked back down and shoved the last of my books into my bag. Why did I bring so many books on the last day of school? Stupid Winnie.

“Hmm.” She replied doubtful. I threw on my bag and got up to rush out the door.
“Have a good summer!” she called to me, but I was already out the door.

I took my time getting to the bus. I’d already missed the first one, and the bus came every 35 minutes. I sighed and decided I’d rather walk home instead.  On the way, I saw students all hugging and saying goodbye’s, promising to stay in touch and crying. Thinking about the next two months made me a little lightheaded and the walk to my home wasn’t long enough for me to dread my arrival.
I set down my stuff and went to go change into my pajamas. I washed off my sweaty make-up and pulled my curly honey- blonde hair into a ponytail. I managed to heat up some leftover spaghetti and get a diet-cola from the fridge. I plopped down onto the couch and started to watch wrestling. It had been awhile and I was really concentrating on it when the phone rang making me jump. I tried to swallow the spaghetti stuck in my throat and gulped a bit of diet-cola before answering.

“Hello?” I said still kind of choking.

“Fred?” my Granddad’s deep and ruff voice was always recognizable even over the phone with the television blasting.  He was the only one that called me “Fred” instead of “Winnie”. That was what he used to call my grandmother.

“Oh, hey. What’s up?” I relaxed back into the couch and put my feet back up on the table.

“Nothing, just wanted to say hello,” He said quickly. That obviously wasn’t the reason why he’d called. He never just called to say ‘hello’.

“And…” I pressed.

He seemed hesitant of whatever it was. “Fred…” He paused, sighed and continued, “Never mind. Hey, I’ll talk to later.” And then he hung up on me.

Confused, I hung up the phone and looked blankly at the television. Why had he done that? I wondered absently if something was wrong, but then decided that he would have tell me if it was something important. I tried to shrug it off, and went back to watching TV.  After a couple of matches, I glanced at the clock, it was nearly 11:30. I didn’t expect granddad till’ 1 because he usually hung out with his buddies afterwards. I headed off to bed. Lying down in my bed always made me feel a little bit better. The dots on my ceiling could be made into happy little pictures. I concentrated on the positive things in store for the next two months, but I couldn’t think of any as I stared into the ceiling and drifted off into a sleep. And the only thing I could piece together with the tiny dots on my ceiling was a girl with her eyes closed. She looked too scared for it to be a happy picture.


When I woke up in the morning, the sunshine streaming through my window bounced off my metal picture frame and shone on my face. I squinted around my room to find a sweater; I knew that despite the sunshine, if I threw off my blanket that the cold would freeze me. Even if it was the summer, it never felt like it until noon, and I don’t think the fact that we never turned the heat on helped very much. I spotted a sweater hanging on my dresser, and I slowly I reached my left arm out from under the covers to reach for it. It was cold. I grabbed it and managed to get it on from under the blanket, and I threw off the covers and ran to the washroom to fix whatever mess my face looked like. I had to stretch to see in the mirror because I was too short to reach it. I realized that my sea green eyes were swollen and my full lips looked strangely puffy. I looked as if I had been crying all last night. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going downstairs to make some breakfast.

“Oh my go-“I gasped stopping at the entrance of the living room. My hand flew up to my chest. “You scared me!”

My granddad didn’t look at me. He was sitting on the couch looking intently on the floor. “Sorry.” He muttered. It took me a second to realize he should’ve been at work. I dropped my hand.

“What are you doing here?” He still didn’t look up. “Granddad?” I asked again a little lower.

“Sit down,” he whispered.

I went to go sit on the floor in front of him. He took a deep breathe and looked at me. I nearly gasped out loud. His dark brown eyes were surrounded by red. There was a deep purple shadow under his eyes, emphasized by rings that made him, for once, look his age. He looked like he hasn’t slept for a century.

“Granddad…” I whispered, moving a hand toward his face but he put up his to stop me.

“Its okay, Fred.” He said at a more normal volume. “I just couldn’t sleep.” He smiled just a tiny bit. I still didn’t understand what was wrong. I’ve never seen him like this. He looked so…disheveled. He sighed again.

“Don’t worry. I just really need to talk to you. Just…sit be quiet and listen, ‘kay?”
I nodded once. He took another deep breath and it seemed he was looking for the right words. “Fred,” he began after a moment, refocusing on me again. “I told you how your mother and father passed away, right?” I nodded slowly. “Well, here’s the truth.”

























Part Two

I grew up believing my mother died giving birth to me. And that my Father died from some kind of disease. According to my granddad, that wasn’t all true.

“Your mother did die giving birth to you, and your father and I were left to care for you.” He cleared his throat. “On you’re my second birthday, The Select came for you.” My granddad turned to me.

“The Select are a group that rule over the ancient city of Daria. They believed you had special abilities and they wanted to bring you to Daria to be trained. Your father didn’t allow that. Elliott had been protecting you the best he could and he fought against them but they killed him easily.” My granddad’s voice broke at his words and his eyes were moist.

“I pleaded with them.” He continued. “Begged them to let you live a normal life and to let me care for you. The Select weren’t happy about it but they let it go. They made me promise though” He paused and clasped his hands together. He looked at me with wary and sad eyes.

“That you would go eventually.”  He whispered. All I could do was stare at him. I could feel my warm tears fall down my cheeks, and I wiped them away.

“What?” I asked. My voice was raspy. My granddad’s head fell into his hands.

“You have to go, Fred. You have to go to Daria." Even with his voice muffled, the sadness was clear. “You have to.”

I didn’t know what he was talking about. My granddad was never this sad. He had always been happy and jolly. I didn’t want to go to this Daria place if it hurt him so much. I don’t have to go; no one was going to make me.

“No.” I said trying to sound confidant in hopes of making him feel better. He looked up at me.

“Fred,” He said but looked down again. “Don’t worry. It isn’t horrible.” His face looked doubtful even to his own words. “I just don’t want to be alone.” It felt like someone punched my in the gut. I hated being alone. I never thought my granddad minded. I never wanted to leave him. I still didn’t have any idea of what he was talking about, but I was determined that “The Select” were not going to win. I didn’t say anything; a sob was stuck in my throat.

“Listen, it’s for your safety. I don’t want to see what they would do if I didn’t keep my promise. The Select don’t forget. Your on they’re list, Fred. They’ve been waiting, and you have to go.” His voice cracked again at the last part. He made it seem like I was going to Hell. All I did was stare at his face.

“Please. I know I didn’t tell you everything. I don’t have time. You don’t have time. Your birthday is on the July 2nd.” He stood up and I had to back away so he wouldn’t step on me.

“That gives us…” He went to the calendar in the kitchen and I stood up to follow him.

“Six days!” He exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me your birthday was in six days?” He ran up the stairs. His boots making is mud prints everywhere he stepped. He had just came from outside. Had he been out all night?

I didn’t have time to move, because a moment later we were running back down the stairs trailing a luggage bag.

“Here” He panted handing the bag to me. I looked down at it. It was his old one he kept under his bed, it was very large but I’ve never seen him use it before though.

“Pack all the stuff you need. Clothes, toothbrush, socks…” he trailed off. And looked down at me, wondering why I haven’t moved yet.

“Granddad, I’m not going.” I kept my eyes locked on his, as to show I was serious. But he just looked annoyed.

“Seriously, Fred! This isn’t the time to be stubborn! We’ve got somewhere to be, and you are trying to be difficult?” He shook his head. “Get a move on.”

“So you’re coming?” I asked smiling. He sighed.

“Go.”

I ran up the stairs to my room and shut the door. So, I was going to this place called Daria, because “The Select” said I have to and I have special abilities. And “The Select” Killed my father because he tried to protect me. And now I’m off to Daria to be trained. Right.

I threw all my clothes into the luggage bag. I threw in some underwear and socks and sweater. Who knew where this Daria was? It could be really cold. When I finished putting everything I could fit into the bag, I dragged it down the stairs. My granddad was at the bottom of the stairs lifted it lightly.

“So we’re just leaving?” I asked shocked that we were just going to leave like that. He looked confused.

“Fred, I just said we have to go.”And then he shook his head and went to the cellar door.

“Where are you going?” I asked following him.

“Put on some shoes, Fred. And stop asking questions.” He said flatly. Questions! He dragging me away to some weird place, and I’m supposed to stop asking questions? I did what he told me to anyway.

He opened the door to the cellar with ease, even though all my life I’d tried to open the door and I didn’t even move it an inch. He waved his hand to signal me to go first. I looked into the endless tunnel of darkness. And look back at him. I wasn’t going to go down there. He sighed and went first. There wasn’t any stairs just a short tunnel. I tried to keep up with the sound of his gigantic boots hitting the concrete with his every step. But then I heard him stop abruptly. I heard the gravel move as he spun around to me. I saw nothing but the faint lines of his jaw when he spoke to me.

“Take my hand.” He said his voice even rougher. I couldn’t see his hand so he took mine. And he handed me the luggage. And we walked a few steps forward, and I felt the tip of my foot hit a wall. I heard my granddad’s disembodied voice.

“Fred,” His voice was strained. “Close your eyes, it’ll be over soon.” I had no idea what he was talking about. But I listened anyway. I didn’t know if I would regret it later. So I squeezed my eyes shut.

And suddenly, wind was whipping my hair around my face. My eyes flew open, but I did it a second too late. The wind had gone away, as if it had never happened and warm sunshine was suddenly shining on my face. I looked up to my granddad and he was looking at me, a big happy grin on his face. I stared at him surprised by his sudden change of mood. His eyes were sparkling. I peeled my gaze away from his face for a moment and looked around me. We were at what seemed like a train station. The walls were not gray cement but were beige with a hint of gold. There was no one in sight and it was silent except for the sound of my heavy breathing and the chirping birds. I looked back at my granddad who was still smiling.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” He asked inhaling deeply. I breathed in a concentrated breath and noticed the air was strangely sweet. I looked around again to try and figure where we were. I started to ask how we got here, but my granddad interrupted me.

“We have to go,” He said, his mood slightly fading but he was still happy. He tugged my hand in order make me follow him to the platform. I watched him as he looked at his watch and muttered softly to himself,

“Four, three, two, one.” And then he looked up and barely a second had passed but when I looked up too, my hair was whipping around me again and I gasped for air as the strong wind flew around us. But then, just as fast as it came, it was gone. And on the tracks, right in front of us, was a perfectly polished, modern electric train was waiting in front of us. Slowly the door opened. Sitting in the driver seat was a chubby, balding short man. He looked delighted.

“Well, welcome!” He chimed. “We’ve been waiting.”




I just stared at him. I couldn’t think of what to say. This was getting too much for me. The bus driver was growing impatient.
“Are you coming? You know have about 16 seconds.” He frowned at my reluctance.  I looked up to my granddad for any sign of approval. But he was looking at the bus driver.
“Hey Sam!” he said smiling very wide. He tugged my hand again and pulling me behind him as he stepped onto the train. On it I got a better glimpse of everything.
The train was longer then I thought. There were at least one hundred seats covered in red velvet. There were windows on each side of the bus letting in golden sunlight. The warm, syrupy fragrance of the outside air was still apparent but with an undertone of plastic.  My granddad and I took the two closets seats to the bus driver.
“Hello, Noah!” The train driver replied, his eyes lighting up. “Long time to see.”
The train driver shut the door. And in that very second, the train was flying down the tracks. My body swerved to my right as the bus screeched to a halt, and I had barely anytime to react to anything that had just happened. The front door opened again. And my granddad bent his head to whisper in my ear.

“Better get going, it’s about lunch here. Don’t want to get trampled do we?” as he finished his sentenced and we got off to exit the train.
“See ya, Sam!” He called back to the bus driver. I heard same laugh out loud like he had heard the funniest joke ever.

A few moments after we had stepped off the train, I lifted my face to the sun and inhaled the sweet air. And when I looked forward again, there were crowds of people coming toward the train platform. Some were wearing backpacks, some carrying suitcases. They weren’t dressed abnormal. Just the usual, t-shirts and jeans. Most were chatting with each other. My granddad started to go ahead.
“Wait!” I called after him. I was sure I was going to lose him. But he was already gone into the crowd of people. As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, every single person walking toward the train all stopped, talking, playing and laughing. All to stare at me. I was frozen in place and I stared back at them. And for what seemed like forever, nobody moved or even broke they’re gaze. And all of a sudden, everyone was whispering.

“Is that her?”

“She kind of short”

“I think she’s supposed to be my new room mate.”

“Is she here alone?”

That one caught my attention and I started to run off in the direction where my granddad had taken off. I didn’t pay attention when a two-syllable deep soprano bell rang. But everyone seemed to start moving again and forget about me. What was that? I groaned.

What is happening!?I don’t even know where I am! Apparently everyone else knows me here. I scanned the platform for my granddad. The luggage I was dragging seemed to get heavier, and heavier.

And then I saw him.

He had dark auburn hair, crystal blue eyes and the most enchanting smile on his face. He had one hand in his pocket and was looking directly at me. He was much taller than me, so I had to look up to get a good look at his face. But it was worth it.

“Need some help?” He asked. His voice was perfect. The kind you wanted to agree with right away, no matter what it was. But it just made me not able to think.

“Uh…” I was sure I looked like an idiot. But he just kept smiling and extended his arm toward me. I looked at it. I didn’t know whether to give him my luggage- which I wanted to do so badly, my left arm was falling asleep- or shake hands with him. Finally, he frowned and dropped his arm. The words flew out of my mouth in order to try and save myself.

“Uh, I’m Winnie. I got lost.” I stumbled on every single word. Great, he probably thinks I’m a freak. But he smiled again, and his gemstone blue eyes danced. He was so gorgeous, I almost fainted.

“Here,” he said extending his arm again. “Let me help you with that. You look like you could barely carry it.” I tried my best to try and pass on the bag, but it was impossible, and one of the wheels jabbed into my toe. I bit my lower lip in pain, and his eyes flicked to me in concern.

“You okay?” He asked the corners of his lips turning down. I wanted to reassure him right away; I wanted to see him smile again. My voice almost gave me away.
I nodded, “Yeah, I’m good.” His smile came back and he took the bag with ease as if it weighed about nothing. He took his hand out of his pocket and waved to the Train station behind us. I went ahead, trying not to limp. He quickly caught up with me.

“I’m Elijah.” He said looking down at me. I quickly looked down too, in case my face was turning red and I noticed I was wearing an old hockey sweater and old jeans that were ripped on the bottom. I suddenly felt self-conscious. And we walked in silence for awhile. We went into the shelter. And turned a corner into a hallway with maps on he walls.

“Where are you trying to go?” He asked me. I didn’t look up when I answered.
“I don’t know, I don’t even know why I’m here, to tell you the truth. My granddad kind of dragged me here. If I know where here is.” I muttered the last part. And I looked up to see his expression. He was confused.

“You…Don’t know…where you are?” He asked hesitantly. Automatically, I looked away from his face, and saw a long bench not far from us. I started to walk to it, hoping he would get the hint and follow, which he did. We sat down on the bench that was cushioned and was very soft. I saw of it, and kicked off my flip-flops to put my feet, my toe still throbbing and. I sat on the bench and crossed me legs.

“Let me start from the beginning.”





































Part Three


He didn’t interrupt throughout my story. Saying it out loud made it seem even more ludicrous to me. He just stared at me, examining my face intently while I rushed through the story.

“That’s it.” I finished and looked up to look at his reaction. He looked back at me. He blinked twice rapidly and looked at me again with a new emotion on his face.
“I’m sorry.” He said in a low voice.

I was confused.”What?”

He slowly shook his head, trying to clear it.”I should have known” he said, it seemed he was saying it more to himself than to me. “Elijah?” I wondered what he was talking about.

His eyes held mine, “Listen, Winnie. I’m really, truly sorry. But I can’t help you.” Suddenly he jerked his head up as if someone had called his name. He turned to me again.
“I really hope I see you again.” And before I could stop him, he got up and jogged lightly away. I stared after him, dumbfounded. I really hope I see you again, He said. I realized my mouth was hanging open, and I snapped it shut. I pulled my legs up and rested my chin on my knees and wound my arms around my legs. And began to sob.

I don’t know how long I sat there. But the loud, deep bell rang twice more. Once, when everybody crammed back into the train station, and disappeared behind to grand glass doors, that lead somewhere I didn’t know of. No one glanced into my hidden corridor. And once again, when everyone returned going back to the dock. I vaguely questioned where they were headed, but I was too depressed to think start. It was just after sundown and my only source of light was a candle light at the end of the hallway. I wasn’t crying because of Elijah’s abandonment. I was crying about everything else. Elijah’s actions were just the icing.  I heard a whooshing sound in my left ear. I lifted my head to turn in the direction of the sound. But there was just the empty corner at the end of the corridor. I heard the same sound again, but to my right. I shifted my weight sharply to see the cause of the strange noise. And there at the other end of the quiet and dimly-light corridor was a woman. Not just a regular woman; this woman was gorgeous. Long, wavy brown curls reached her waist, and her murky green eyes were dazzling even from where I sat. I blinked furiously to get rid of the blur that glazed my puffy eyes. My vision became clear enough to realize the t strange and beautiful woman was smiling, dimples on either side of her lips. She took a hesitant step forward.
“Sorry, I hope I didn’t creep up on you. Winifred, am I correct? Or do you prefer Winnie? I know your grandma nickname was ‘Fred’. Speaking of which, you look so much her. More and more everyday.” She cooed. She stepped closer. I did not respond at first, then decided I didn’t wan this to be a repeat of my introduction to Elijah, thinking of him, I felt a sudden rush or adrenaline run through my veins, accompanied by anger and frustration. I didn’t want to think of him, I just met him; he shouldn’t mean anything to me. He didn’t mean anything to me. I straightened up, and planted my bare feet firmly on the warm tiled floor, and tried to look sever.

“I like Winnie,” I said trying to sound cold. The woman’s eyes widened at my tone, and kind of looked hurt. I tried not to feel guilty. “And, who are you?” She didn’t recover right away, although she didn’t seem as hurt as I’d liked her to be.
“Sorry, Aurora, that’s the name. Now, what are you doing here? It is getting late.” She looked briefly, “You don’t want to be seen alone. Now come on” She held out her hand.  It reminded me of when a grown-up wanted a child to come to them so they used a sing-song voice and beckoned to them. I sat where I was. And she rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance.

“Oh, Winnie, honestly, this isn’t the time to be stubborn!”She groaned, quoting my granddad. I felt a surge of sadness. I completely forgot about m granddad getting lost- or rather, me getting lost. She read the emotion on my face. Her face turned apologetic. “Honey…” She came toward me, all hesitation gone. I tried to get any comfort between us to disappear, I wanted to be alone, and she was ruining that. She came and sat beside, I wormed to the farthest side of the bench away from her. Her lips pressed in a hard line.

“We really do need to get out of here.” She urged. And the words rang like a bell.
“Out of here?” You mean I can go home?” but she was shaking her head before I finished the sentence.” No, dear.” She took my hand, and I let her. “Come on.” I let her limply drag me off the bench and I slid my flip-flops on and carried my luggage bag.

I followed her down hallway after hallway. I kept my eyes on her the whole time. “Do you know what’s going on?” I blurted out. She sighed.
“Yes.” And she looked at her feet, were contained by elegant off-white heels. I looked up, suddenly taking in her outfit. She was wearing a fitted manila cocktail dress, and polished white pearls around her neck, and pearly earrings. She looked exquisite. Her lips turned down at the corners. “I really shouldn’t tell you everything now, but its better you hear it fro me than from Rohan, hmm?” she mused, looked at me.

“Who’s Rohan?”

“I bet there are a lot of people that you don’t know, that know you.”She smiled at me.

“Apparently.” I muttered. She smiled wider.

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t tell you everything, but it is a very long walk.  And I’m not that good at small talk.” I tried not to smile at her, but failed. Aurora took a deep breath. “Alright. First off, don’t you worry about Noah. He’s very safe; we’ll actually be seeing him very soon.” I nodded once. Somehow I knew I could take Aurora’s word. “And I know this all so confusing to you but I’m sure you’ve had some sort of explanation…?” I shook my head.

“My granddad tried to explain it all, but it came out in a rush, and I didn’t really catch anything. Nothing so far has really made any sense.” I should really stop blurting out the truth all the time. It bound to get me in trouble some day.
“Hmm, I understand why he would rush,” she muttered more to herself. “You are the last person of the 21st century to be expected to join Daria. When you were very young, Winnie, your family was approached by us, The Select.” I stared blankly at her.

“You’re the Select?” I asked in a hollow voice. She looked confused.

“Yes, the members of the Select always wear white. I thought you knew that.” I fumed.

“Of course I didn’t know that!” I stopped walking and she did the same, watching me in confusion. “I don’t know anything apparently. This doesn’t exist, it shouldn’t! And The Select killed my father! You killed my father! Why? Because he didn’t want me to come here? I don’t want to come here, I want to go home, I which none of this ever happened! Why won’t I wake up?!” I stared at her with new feeling toward her. She took a step towards me.

“I didn’t know you felt that way, what am I saying of course you feel this way.” She tried to put her arm on my shoulder but I flinched away, the sudden movement created a burst of the warm fragrance that everything here seemed to give off. I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself though I really wanted to keep ranting. She dropped her hand but still tried to persuade to listen.

“It wasn’t my choice, I would of never killed you father, Winnie. I haven’t joined The Select when that event took place, and I am deeply sorry. But here is nothing we can do now. You must listen. This situation you are in is urgent, and I’m trying to help you.” I couldn’t help but look into her smoky iris eyes, they were pleading. I sighed and continued to walk down the labyrinth of hallways. This train station was bigger than I had thought, thought the creamy colored walls and changed to mahogany, and the corridors were being more and more poorly-lit. But Aurora seemed sure of where she was going, and I struggled to keep pace with her swift motions. She took a deep breath. And I pretended that I wasn’t interested, even though I was carefully analyzing her every word, in order not to miss anything.
“We approached your family. They kindly discarded. Rohan, I’m afraid has never been that kind himself, and did not like to be refused.” She looked down at me, probably remembering my outburst, and skipped ahead.

“We gave you a time limit. IT would have to be fulfilled or things would be worse. And so, here you are. Which is a very good thing, I’m afraid you had only a, little bit of time, and I would hate to have lost you. You see, I was in charge of keeping an eye on you until you have joined us here. And you are something.” She smiled at me, her dimples stamped flawlessly on each side of her cheeks. “You don’t even know what you can do…” She trailed off. I shifted back into focused, realizing that were both standing in front of grand gold doors. Intricate designed framed the long sides. Candles on the stands of both sides of the doors lit up the hallway. Aurora took a deep, deliberate breathe and spoke without meeting my confused gaze.

“Alright and here we go.” And with the she took a step forward turned a golden knob.






































Part Four

It wasn’t what I had expected. To be honest- I expected people in dark clocks with the hoods on, stroking some kind of evil rodent or cat, with lots of fog everywhere.
Okay, so I was off. The grand golden doors, opened up to a wide and spacious lobby. In the center was a neat round table with two beige fancy chairs on either side. Off in the left corner, was a surrounding table that closes off that corner. Everything was lit-up but an impressive diamond chandelier. A reception desk.  Surprisingly, I stifled back a giggle. And Aurora joined in.
“I know,” she muttered, closing the door behind her. “New guy’s idea. I have to give him some credit though; the receptionist takes care of a lot of the paperwork.” We both laughed, I was still shaky from my cry. It felt strange; it seemed like the worst time to be laughing. I bet I was about to walk into a room of people who hate me. Which reminded me…?

“Um, where is everybody? Isn’t everybody supposed to be waiting for me?” My eyes shifted to the oddly placed reception that was missing a hypothetical receptionist. Aurora bit her lip nervously.

“Right.”  She whispered and waved to a plain manila door on the other side of the wide lobby. “In there.” For the first time, I went ahead of her, pretending to be brave. If these people had a problem with me, than this would have to be settled. I hope I looked as brave as I intended to be. I looked back at Aurora, looking for strength, but all I could see in her eyes were uneasiness. I looked away quickly and puffed up my chest and lifted my chin. I lastly reached the now incredibly intimidating door and without thinking opened it too fast.

Take my advice, and never burst through the door to a highly respected group of high-up mysterious…fellows- unless you want to retreat into yourself mortified.
Nobody decided to give me this advice and I did exactly that. At the same time, a large crowd of white-dressed, old and young, men and women turned to give me the most discontented looks I have ever received. Aurora’s voice came from right behind me, her tone amazingly polite.

“Greetings, contemporaries. I’d like to introduce you to Winifred Blaine.” Something poked into my side, my only ticklish spot, making me jump forward like an idiot.
“Uh, Hi. Just call me Winnie.” I said, my face getting hot. I eyes quickly glanced around the room, before I evidently looked down embarrassed.

I saw about four or so men, crowding a highly detailed and in depth map that hung vastly on the wall directly on the other side of the room. Against the wall, I caught a women and a man playing chess. And I also saw people sitting crossed legged on the floor and in the far corner I saw people listening to one gentlemen play the piano, which of course quickly seized the second I rudely exploded through the door. And heavy and awkward silence ensued. Everyone was wearing white, except me. I felt very dirty.

It seemed like I was standing there looking stupidly at the ground for about 4 and a half years before I heard a rough and firm voice.

“Welcome, Winnie. There’s no reason to be shy, step forward and come in. Welcome to Daria. I was informed that you were lost; it’s quite some luck Aurora has found you. How are you adjusting?” I looked up in time to see which one had spoken to me. It was a man at the other side of the long room that had stepped forward; away from the map that he had been studying.  He had a long gray beard and tired blue eyes. But he smiled genuinely and I felt better at once. Aurora began top speak,

“Excuse her, but she’s very-“, But she was soon cut off, the aged man interrupted her.

“She can speak for herself, can’t she, Aurora?” He said, his voice suddenly cutting and I shifted my head slightly to see her frown and look down. She all of a sudden looked like a child about to cry. I struggled not to reach out and try to comfort her, but instead concentrated on not saying something stupid.
“Well,” I began already feeling stupid, “I don’t know much yet,” I snuck a peek at Aurora and saw that she was blushing and still looking down. “But it’s okay so far. It’s pretty cool.” I said shrugging.

The strange man and everybody else in the room burst into charming and bubbly laughter. I smiled uncomfortably. And the man stopped laughing and observed me curiously.

“Hmm, and I wonder, can you perform your gift?” He asked in a more ominous voice, while everyone else stopped laughing at the joke I apparently missed.
“Finn…” Aurora found her voice and had stepped forward, to stand beside me. “She doesn’t know how to, she’s had a lot to deal with today.”

“Well! ‘A lot to deal with’, huh? She’s going to have to get used to it, my dear Aurora! She’s here now, and as much as she would like it she can’t go back now, she’s the only-“Aurora spoke over him.

“One that’s left to be joining us from the 21st century. I know, I know. Finn, you must understand. She has to pace herself. Doesn’t she? She’s new to this.”

“Oh. You may be right Aurora, let us ask Daniel.” Finn turned to the chess table. A young woman with straight ginger hair and golden eyes that pierced into mine when our eyes met. On the other side of her was a young man about the same age as the other woman, about 25 or something. He had short jet black hair but he was not looking at me; he was looking at Finn, who was looking straight at me.
“Daniel, boy. Tell me, how long has it taken you to adjust to our beautiful land?” Finn asked him, looking as if he already knew the answer.

“Not very long, Sir.” Daniel spoke without looking away from Finn. Daniel’s voice was not deep at all and that confirmed his age. Finn smiled in victory.

“That isn’t fair” Aurora complained jabbing a finger in Finn’s direction. “His ability was already so far developed. It’s hardly even comparable. She doesn’t even know what she can do!” Her voice shot up a couple octaves, but she neatly hit the notes perfectly.  I had no idea what they were talking about but it was extremely rude to talk about me when I was right there- even if I did burst through the door. I spoke without thinking.

“Are you talking about me? What don’t I know about? What am I saying, what isn’t there that I don’t know about?” I muttered to myself. A couple of members near me smiled. Finn’s and Aurora’s argument left undisturbed.

“I beg to differ.” Finn continued, clearly composed. “Daniel was born and raised in Britain and he just recently learnt everything.”

Aurora scoffed, but Finn continued, “And if you still rest unsure, let him demonstrate.” Finn said calmly, grinning. At that moment Daniel turned to face me. He was blacker eyes, with no depth at all. They gawked into mine.  His eyes traced over me and I felt incredibly self-conscious.  My right leg crossed over my left and I looked down turning red again. There that’s when I noticed a huge black cockroach making its way to my foot; trotting along the creamy, neat carpet. I flinched, surprised this sort of place would ever have insect, or cockroaches that go undetected or nothing is done about it. I took one small step back and for a moment, the roach stopped moving. After couple of moments of silence around the room, I thought everyone, including me- had come to the conclusion that it was died. But out the corner of my eye I caught a slight movement and my eyes flashed to see a dozen more cockroaches and other crawly insect covering my right pant leg and dozens more on my arm sleeves. I screamed deafening cry and began jumping up and down, frantically brushing my legs and sleeves to get the insects off.
Vaguely I could hear Aurora’s angry screams, and Finn’s roaring laughter, along with murmuring and commotion from the other members. Every time when my fingers would brush an insect flying away, my hand would just go through the bug. Suddenly I pair on hands wound around my waist and flung me to the side, and I saw Aurora step forward and explode in cusses and swears. The commotion went on as I struggled to get the growing amounts of insects off of me. It continued to the point where I was having a major anxiety attack. Why wasn’t anybody helping me? I starting to hyperventilate and I started to get dizzy. And in a fraction of a second, every single bug, cockroach and ant that covered my body was gone in a flash. I could hear Aurora’s heavy breathing and I looked up confused, appalled and about to pass out. I saw Aurora red with angry looking fiercely at Finn. Finn was looking back at her with the exact same expression. They looked like they were about to wrestle. I quickly look at Daniel remembering what Finn had said before I was attacked, and was shocked to see he was smiling genuinely and proudly at me. I looked around the room and started to notice a pattern. Everyone that was once in a calm and quiet position was now standing in a ready position fists clenched, jaws locked, teeth bearing and all. I suddenly realized that I was still gasping.

“Winnie, calm down. It’s over.” Aurora hissed through her teeth though the words were clearly meant to be heard around the room. Abruptly, the woman with the ginger hair was standing right beside Aurora although no one was there before. I blinked rapidly to make sure I wasn’t crazy. She put one foot in front of Aurora as if holding her back.

“Careful, Aurora. This is no time for a fight.” She said in a low and urgent voice. Aurora glared at Finn. Finn turned to Daniel.
“Good job, my boy. Very believable.” He said with obvious pride. Another member that was staring, teeth bared at Finn spoke with his jaw clenched. A man with round glasses in his mid ages.

“Enough, Finn! You have done enough! Daniel, you know that you are not to use you ability for ghastly affaires and you are aware of that! Now, enough I said! Rohan will arrive any second, and to think that you would act in such an uncivilized fashion in front of Winifred.”  He yelled in a voice full of authority and logic. He turned to face me with a smile, although his jaw was still tight. “My apologies Winifred.”

I looked at him for a moment than nodded silently and he sat back down at the piano bench. All around the room members of The Select relaxed back into they’re previous position, though still tense. I wasn’t all sure what had happened, but I got most of it for once. Even if I was mostly using my imagination.
Behind me, I heard Aurora sigh, and put her hand on my waist. “I’m sorry Winnie. I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Her eyes flashed to Finn, who had turned back to his map. She sighed again, and squeezed my side, but it didn’t tickle. “Rohan will arrive soon.” She raised her voice a note, probably so that the whole room could hear. “And I hope that everyone could keep they’re posture, including me.” She added. A lot of members nodded in agreement.
Aurora led me with her that that was wound around me waist and took several paces forward.  That we both spun around so we were facing the door. And after just a couple seconds, the doors that we had come through opened.
In came a man with short blonde hair and eyes that matched that. He was smiling a pearly white smile that matched his bleach white suite. His smile vanished immediately and his eyes tightened at my presence,

“Ah, Winifred. You’ve come.”


































Part Five

Oh crap. I nearly said that out loud too, but seriously; all I could think was ‘Oh crap’. Rohan’s glare drifted to Aurora for a moment, than locked back with mine. I shifted uncomfortably.

“Hello. Yeah, I’m here.” Smooth. He nodded seriously and looked at the faces of the other members, catching the mood quickly. “I see I’ve missed quite a lot, hmm? I supposed you’re accustomed to most of the story and don’t need it repeated. Aurora, love?” He cocked his head to meet look at Aurora, with softer eyes. Aurora smiled timidly.

“Yeah, I think I’ll take her up to her room.” She took my hand and my forgotten luggage that was in her other hand. And slightly nodded once, eyes still locked with Rohan, than looked down suddenly blushing. She tugged at my arm, heading for the door while Rohan stepped aside.

“Visit us again, when you have adjusted well. I’m very curious to see how well you fit it. Farewell, Winifred.”

I looked back in time to smile before the door shut roughly. When we were safely out of the grand gold doors at the entrance, I spun and smiled tauntingly.
“’Aurora, love?’”

“It’s hard to explain.” She murmured blushing again.

“I’ll catch on.” I countered not letting her pull me to the train station.

“Fine! Rohan’s my husband.” She said keeping eye contact with me.

“You mean…” and then I was laughing.  Positively howling. Aurora was nowhere near serious and I’m not sure Rohan even has any form of humorous muscle in his body.

“Are you done?” Aurora was obviously annoyed at my laughing at her expense.

“Yeah,” I choked out, still giggling.
Aurora squared her shoulders and looked at me, trying to be serious.

“Okay, don’t freak, okay? You’ve been doing well so far. Well, I bet you’ve figured out that we all have gifts. Daniel,” she shuddered, “with his gift…”

“, And the lady with the reddish hair?” I guessed.

“Yes, Doreen. It’s a shame you didn’t get to be introduced properly. She’s my best friend. Okay, okay- on topic.” She reminded herself. I smiled. She continued. “Well, I…can do something too.”

Surprisingly, I kind of expected that. Since I clicked what happened in the other room together, I would have been very disappointed if Aurora had no gift. “What is it?” I asked genuinely curious.

She was taken aback for a moment, than relaxed and looked a little relived.  “Um, I think I have to show you.” She said, just a little cautious. I extended my arms in nonchalance. She nodded; serious again, closed her eyes. Her face suddenly a serene mask.

Slowly, I noticed a cloud of thick, purple smoke, come from below Aurora’s feet and wrap around us both. And gradually covered us completely, and suddenly, too fast; it was all gone. And we were both suddenly standing in front of what seemed like an apartment door; peep-hole and all, in a bright and lively hallway. I looked around quickly, taking in everything that had just happened. At the exit at the other end of the hallway, I noticed a sign that read:

FLOOR 13



I looked up at Aurora, who was looking at me- intent on my reaction. I realized my mouth was hanging open, and I quickly snapped it shut and managed to say what I was thinking.

“Cool. Teleportation?” I said, grinning at her, which she returned.

She nodded her head. “I know the people living on Earth are into superstitions and what not, but this is actually the floor I was on when I went to school.” She looked at the door.

“Well this is your room. You do have a roommate-so try not to burst through the door, ”

I grimaced in theatrical devastation. Aurora grinned wider.

“Anyways, You have classes tomorrow, you’re roommate will fill you in. I’ve got to get going.” She blushed. I made kissy sounds and she nudged me lightly and handed me my luggage. I felt my stomach suddenly twist and I became very nervous.

“Just knock.” Aurora sighed, before doing it for me. I glanced over my shoulder to give her one last “help me” look.

“Goodbye, Winnie.” She smiled and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. I then suddenly realized that I had forgotten what everyone was talking about when they said I had a gift. But rapidly forgotten that, when the door I was standing in front of opened.

A girl my age, with light brown and matching eyes stood there in the doorway. Her skin was the color of caramel and she was wearing duck pajamas. Her face gave the impression I interrupted her during her sleep.

“Oh.” She said, her expression lighting a bit. “Winifred right?” She opened the door wider. “Come in.”

I followed her in the apartment and I hard her shut the door behind me. I looked around- everything seemed to be normal. There was a closet beside the doorway which was opened and I could see different sweaters hung up over a rack of sneakers and flats. Down the hallway was a door-less doorway which opened up to a roomy kitchen.

“You don’t have to take off your shoes or anything.” The girl said walking ahead of me. I quickly caught up. “So this is it.” She said turning the corner in front of the kitchen. It led us to a small living room that had a flat screen television. It had a grand window on the side of the room, and outside it I could see it was very late. There was a couch against each wall.

“Um,” I said, turning the girl. “Where do I put my stuff?”

“Oh, sorry.” She started walking straight forward to a bright hallway that led out the living room. She pointed to a closed door.

“That’s the washroom. I hope you don’t mind sharing.” She gave me a doubtful look. “And this my room- always knock. And…this is your room.” She gestured to another closed door. “I suggest you settle down and get some sleep, we have school tomorrow.”  She finished turning back to go into her room, which, looked very messy- but she turned back to me again.

“Oops- almost forgot. I’m Svannah. I guess you already know that I’m going to be your roommate.” She smiled for the first time.

“Yeah. Goodnight.” And I turned to go into my own room.

Inside was a queen sized bed. There was a painting of a flower garden above it. After taking a couple steps inside my room, I could see that there was a drawer with every inch of the top covered in makeup. Up against the wall where the drawer was a huge mirror.  And on the other side of the room was a closed door.
I put down my luggage, suddenly realizing that I was so tired. I jumped into my already made bed and cuddled up with my blankets. Falling asleep immediately.






The morning almost came too fast. I woke up to the sound of a firm and continuous knock at my room door.

“Winnie! Winnie? Wake up! I swear we’re going to be late!” I faintly recognized Svannah’s voice, though I was still groggy. I kicked off my blanket and stood up, stretching.  I realized that I slept in my dirty hockey sweater and ripped jeans.



“Ew.” I murmured, going to shut Svannah up. “Okay, I’m awake.”

She stared back at me with a mix of disgusted and shocked eyes.
“You might want to clean up. You want to look good on your first day.” And she spun around to the living room. “I made eggs!”
She called back. Great, I was starving. I ran to my luggage bag, ripping it apart in order to find something decent for the first day of school. But seriously, I had no other clothes except ripped jeans and sweats. I might as well have gone like that. But I stank and really needed a shower. All of a sudden, I was curious of the door that was on the other side of the room. Quickly, I got to my feet and opened it.

I couldn’t believe it. In side was a room of a thousand racks, and hangers and drawers filled with clothes. Clothes and shoes.

“Svannah!” I yelled. “Are all these clothes for me?”

“Yes! And hurry! For God’s sake, we’re going to be so late!”

I laughed. “That rhymed!

There was a pause and then I heard Svannah laugh, “I know!”
Still laughing, I attacked the closet, not knowing what to wear, after a couple of minutes of fighting myself; I settled on a bright green sweater and fitted dark jeans. I also found a pair of matching flats.

I didn’t have time for a shower, but I did put on lots of deodorant and deuced myself in vanilla perfume. I did consider using the still wrapped make-up that sat on top of my dresser for me to use, but decided it would be too much. Besides, I never really liked make-up.

When I reached the kitchen Svannah was all ready with her backpack and everything. She looked at me and smiled.

“I got those for you. I hope you liked them.”

“Thanks! But that’s okay, it was probably too much.

She shrugged. “Don’t worry.” She handed a granola bar. “Eat it on the way. We’re going to be late.” I stuffed the granola bar in my mouth and followed her out the door.

“I hope you know how everything works.” Svannah chatted while she showed me the way to the elevators which I totally didn’t know existed. Of course, if I were Aurora I would never use the elevator neither.

“Here,” She handed me a sheet of white appear, with a chart on it;


Development            1st                       M.D
History                        2nd                      M.F
LUNCH                        3rd
Additional                  4th                       M.Q

“Your schedule” She explained examining her own paper.

“Hey, I think we have the same class together first period.”
Svannah checked her chart. “Your right. Cool.” We then reached the golden elevator, and I pressed the button to call it up. It arrived in a matter of seconds and opened up with a Ding.

Inside were two girls. One of them had an adorable baby-face. Her short, dark hair that stopped right above her shoulders border her face brought out her cerulean eyes.

The other one had long feathery platinum blonde hair. Her skin flawlessly pale; looking soft as silk. Her eyes bored into mine, making my face turn red immediately.  I stepped in the elevator standing in the far left corner away from the two girls. I could hear Svannah voice;

“Hey, Madeline. How was your break?”

The voice that answered was saccharine. “Great. We didn’t do much though. Mostly lounged around and you?” I looked up and saw that the dark-haired one was speaking.

“It was okay.” Svannah shrugged. “Oh. This is Winifr- er, Winnie. Winnie, this is Madeline and this is Cordelia” Svannah gestured to the feathery blonde.

“Hello, Winnie! I hope you like it here so far?” She asked a light voice and it was easy to answer her.

“It’s okay.” I said in a low voice. When was I ever going to get over this whole ‘whenever some one speaks to me, I blush and look down and think of more things not to say’?
I slipped a look at Cordelia, curiously. She glared back ruthlessly. And I went back to looking down. The elevator stopped four more times to pickup other student, whom Madeline and Svannah greeted warmly. Cordelia said nothing, but our eyes did meet severely times, each time, I encountered deadly looks.
When we reached the ground floor I followed Madeline and Svannah who were talking acutely ( which meant I was left behind walking beside Cordelia, whom already, scared the crap out of me) We walked down a hallway where apartment doors were opening up, roommates hurrying with us in our direction. After a short while, I noticed there was a light ahead, and the familiar sweet, syrupy smell drifted toward us. I realized that we were headed towards the train station. Madeline glanced at her watch.

“14 seconds…” She said, loud enough for the other students walking with us to all speed up at the same time, to catch the bus. I fast-walked too.
We arrived at the train station at the exact time, the train arrived, and I reached for Svannah’s hand. The crowd that pushed to get onto the train was thick enough that I would get lost very easily. Svannah tightened her grip and tugged in order to free me from the mob of people crowding the bus.

“Thanks.” I gasped. She nodded led us to the back of the bus to find seats together. Madeline and Cordelia were nowhere insight. After we sat down and the other students began slowly pouring onto the bus, I turned to Svannah.

“Is it always like this?”

“No. This is the late bus; I usually take the early one, but…”“Sorry.”

“No worries.”

I suddenly realized something.

“Oh my gosh! I have no backpack. On my first day!” I almost started to have an anxiety attack but Svannah reassured me.

“You won’t get in trouble or anything. Plus, we can just go shopping later, ‘kay? Calm down. Sheesh.”

“Sorry.” And I relaxed. The bus was now completely full. And unexpectedly, it took off. My body lurched backwards, my hair flying forward, and the sugary fragrance of the air filling my nostrils.





























Part Six
I was put in advanced Development, though I have no idea why the flip they would ever do that. I wasn’t even sure what my gift was.
After the train dropped us off at the station, there were signs to direct us to which class we should go to.

LEVEL ONE LEVEL TWO 
LEVEL THREE ADVANCED  

Svannah dragged us to the right hallway where a healthy amount of students were headed. Along the long corridor were only two giant doors. The crowd of students divided up went through the doors. Without saying a word, Svannah pulled me toward the furthest door.
It was beyond belief. Inside were nearly hundred chairs and desks all facing the front, where there was a massive blackboard and a giant projector.
“Come on.” Svannah tugged. “I want to get a good seat.” And I followed her up the side stairs to the middle and sat in seats beside each other. All around me I saw different faces- some of them I thought I’ve seen before, and others I was positive I have never seen. Svannah nudged me and cocked her head, gesturing to the front of the classroom.
“That’s our teacher. I heard that she’s such a pushover.” Svannah smirked. I didn’t know how to feel. How ere teachers over here? But I concentrated on looking at the teacher that was clearing her throat, and calling the class to order immediately. So much for a pushover.
“Ms. Doreen is how you shall address me. I am your teacher for advanced development. I take it seriously- as should you. As you know everyone here has they’re own gift that they can manipulate freely. And most of you can also understand the power of controlling other powers. And that is why you students in advanced.”
I instantly remembered where I have seen our teacher before- She’s a member of The Select. Doreen, as Aurora had said, was her best friend. But, she’s a member of the Select- can they even be teachers?
I saw her scan the tons on students, and point to the far left side of the room.
“You! The chubby girl with dark hair!” I saw a slight movement from where she was pointing to. “Stand up.”
Students around there leaned away, as a plump girl stood up with difficulty. A couple of students snickered.
“Show everyone your power.” Miss. Doreen continued.  Looking down, the obviously embarrassed sucked in her gut and took a deep, deliberate breathe.
I swear I couldn’t believe it. Slowly, the girl’s body started to lift off the ground. Other students around her, including me, gasped and pointed, whispering to each other. Svannah leaning over to me, without breaking our glances at the girl.
“Kind of ironic isn’t it?” She whispered. I could hear the smile in her voice.
I couldn’t help but smile too even though I was still frozen with shock. Ms. Doreen burst into applause. And the girl lowered her self back into her seat.
“Bravo, bravo! Everyone give her a hand.” The class followed with cautious applause, and the girl smiled in triumph.
“Would anybody else like to demonstrate?”
And so it began. One by one students became more and more confidant; raising they’re hands to volunteer to show they’re powers and how development it already was. A tall boy with dark hair had incredible strength and lifted up his friend while he was still in his seat. Another girl could shape shift and right then and there she changed into a fly and flew around the room while other students swatted at her playfully. 
A particularly short boy made the whole room( with difficulty) hear his own thoughts, and then later explained that he could hear our thoughts also, but only sometimes decides whether or not the subject could hear his. Even Svannah raised her hand, and I looked at her shocked and she murmured, “Watch this.”
Then she looked at Miss. Doreen, who was now sitting comfortably in her chair, watching everybody with amusement.
“Um…” Svannah began awkwardly, and Miss. Doreen raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want to hurt anybody, or ruin anything so, do you have something that’s not important?”
What?
“Sure, you’re free to use this pencil.” And Ms. Doreen held one up and set it on the edge of her desk. “Carry on.”
“Okay.” Svannah took a deep breath, and stared at the pencil. And within that very second, the pencil burst into flames. And the class erupted in applause. Svannah smiled at me and sat back down and whispered to me while Ms. Doreen neatly put out the small fire.
“I can do it way bigger than that. That was easy.” And I smiled back uncomfortably. 
Svannah was going to say something else but was interrupted by the two-syllable bell. The class gathered they’re bags and rushed out the door. I was incredibly happy to get out of that class. I couldn’t risk standing up in front of the class and telling everybody that I didn’t even know my power. When I was in advanced development!
“Okay,” Svannah started while we walked back to the train station. “You have History next. You’re in level three, okay? Remember that. And please, do not get lost. I’ll never be able to find you.”
I struggled to swallow against the lump in my throat. A brief replay of my yesterday filled me head, but I had no time to think about it.
“The train leaves every 16 seconds. You can’t afford to be late; we don’t know which teachers are strict yet.” The information had me taken back a bit but I nodded.
“Got it.”
“Good.  I have Additional. So, I’m going to stand on that side on the platform.”
“What’s addition-? “ But she was already gone- lost in the crowd of people. I spun around and went to the other side of the platform where Svannah had told me to go. I quickly looked around me. Some students from Development were standing beside me, but there were plenty of students I didn’t know.  But I caught a glimpse of a girl with familiar short dark hair that framed her recognizable baby face.
“Madeline!”
She turned around and spotted me, coming straight for me. I noticed she was towing the tall, dark haired boy from Development; the one that had amazing strength.
“Hey, Winnie!” she cheered when she reached me. “This is Isaiah, my boyfriend.” She smiled happily gazing at his face.
Isaiah looked at me wi
Re: 11 Chapters Called Artificial Bliss-about Love,magic,thriller,horror And Fantasy by Joan4427(f): 11:43pm On Jun 08, 2009
This is nice, but the pacing is a little off. You haven't actually got to the crux of the story the whole time, just basically telling us a bunch of mundane stuff that aren't quite interesting. No action, no tension, no heart-pumping material, no laughter, no comical details, no perils, no emotions, etc, etc.

You need to learn the rules of dialogue. Also, you are having the beginning parts of one character's dialogue run into the previous paragraph. In dialogue; each words, thoughts, or attributes of separate characters should stand alone as a paragraph. 

Like where you said:
“I can’t believe is almost over!” she squealed. I sighed.

“It is over, Hannah.”I responded. Hannah was going to Florida for the summer break and didn’t miss a chance to boast about it. I, on the other hand, I had nothing planned but sit around my house and listen to my granddad talk about the single women at bingo that were “eyeing” him.

It would have read better as:
“I can’t believe is almost over!” she squealed.

I sighed. “It is over, Hannah,” I responded. Hannah was going to Florida for the summer break and didn’t miss a chance to boast about it. I, on the other hand, had nothing planned but to sit around my house and listen to my granddad talk about the single women at bingo that were “eyeing” him.

Here is a pointer for reworking the excerpt:
The last paragraph should have happened sooner, you know, to give the readers something interesting to hang-on to while they read through the mundane details of everyday life you presented.
Most readers will probably skim the whole thing until they get to the 'granddad confession' part. Then again, many don't have that kind of patience to keep reading through boring stuff and wondering when they will ever get to the good part.
If you're thinking of using this as the beginning of a novel, then you need to re-work it. Basically, you have about 10-15 seconds to draw the reader in, before they decide your story is or isn't working, and make the decision to either put your book back on the shelf or take it to the cashier.
Your choice.
Unless of course, this is an excerpt from the middle of your novel. But then, why would you choose to give us a sample of the boring part?
We need you to reel us in, grab our attention within the first two paragraphs, give us something immediate to care about.

My opinion?
Start with the 'granddad confession' and work your way onwards from there. For e.g. you could have written:

My heart thudded in my chest as I watched the deep lines on his face. Like many men his age, the whole seventy-two years of his life told their story on his skin. The eyes hung limp and sallow--almost drooping. Usually, he smiled. But not this morning.

Something was wrong with my granddad.

I watched him take another deep breath and my breath caught in my throat. It seemed he was searching for the right words. Granddad never went out of things to say. For him to stall for words now meant something grave had robbed him of his spontaneity. It must have been something really grotesque for, right now, he was utterly tongue-tied. His eyes seemed to lose focus. For a moment, I wondered if he still remembered I was sitting on the floor, right in front of him.

I swallowed and inched closer.

“Fred,” he began after a moment, refocusing on me again. “I told you how your mother and father passed away, right?”

I nodded slowly.

“Well, here’s the truth.”

My heart stopped. Then it slammed into my chest and began to beat with a heavy staccato rhythm.

Something was definitely wrong!

I remembered waking up early the day before like any other normal school day. It was the last day of school and I had been sitting with the rest of my class waiting for the final dismissal. The class had been so restless that the teacher had given up on the “summer safety” talk and let us chat with each other. My friend Hannah immediately turned to face me.

*** Add all the other stuff you had before here ***


Right now, while sitting and staring into my granddad's face, something told me my world was about to come crashing all around my feet.

This is a good story and I can see it turning into a very thrilling plot. Please keep going and keep working on it. You have the makings of a captivating full-length novel here.

Good luck!

Joan

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Poem For A Soul. / Eclipse / As Long As There Is You

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