mikolo80:
reply me. how old are you? I May have a solution. took me almost 20 yrs to crack the 'code '

21

InvertedHammer:
/

I think you are an.irresponsible and disgusting human being from the way you presented yourself a la profile picture.

/

thank you, anything else?

It wouldn't be nice for you to walk away, no, it's going to seem like you're shying from life's lesson. As much as I don't like to get religious I just have to let you know that you're great and the devil is pretty much not comfortable with it. Nobody would hunt down something that's valueless; there's gold in you and nobody is capable of taking it away without your grant!
God doesn't allow anyone to be tempted beyond their ability. All them lessons are going to come in handy pretty soon, sweetie, just stick around a little longer, alright?
Music is a good therapy cause there's always a tone or lyrics that ministers to every situation, embrace it. If you're the church going type, join a cell. It's going to make you feel and enjoy what family truly is.
You've got the ability sweetie, just stick around a little longer, alright? Stay well.

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

What a test for ur parents from God, my brother ure destined to be great in life. Write today's date down. U really need to change ur approach though, discard ur depression, live n relate happily with him despite his fire brigade approach. Behave as if nothing is happening but moving out if never an option bro. Dont try it

One sided story always sainty and perfect.

How come you're the only one your dad is doing all these to in your home?

What about your siblings? Do they take side with you? Have they in anyway comforted you or told you it wasn't your fault before?

Lastly, there is a difference between being blunt and being arrogant/rude.

I won't agree that your dad does all these to you just because you talk back at him, i suspect other reasons

(1) The kind of friends you keep
(2) your lifestyle (drinks/smoke/womanize/rude e.t.c)
(3)Your dress sense
(4) Your actions and inactions

To be labelled a black sheep means you are the opppsite of what everyone in the family is. So get a big mirror and reflect on your life.

Are the rest better off than you?
Are you happier in your approach than the rest of your siblings acting accordingly?

Check yourself youngman.

When you want to claim blunt, do it with those you're older than, diplomacy is what you exhibit with older ones.

WebSurfer:
i'm 100% sure you are sick...you must have poisoned someone to give this type of stupid advice on a public forum.

[size=28pt]Lmfao!![/size]

We (my wife and I, through the help of God) run a program for rehabilitation of troubled young fellows. Mail me let's try out something edward.agboare@yahoo.com. It is well with you

stonecoldcafe:
Warning: this is an epistle.

@therock5555, sorry for what you are going through. I know you as a great writer in the literature section; indeed problems could be invisible.

Number 1, how old are you and do you have a job? Are you still at the university? I ask cos you say moving out is not an option. Why can't you move out?

2. In the event you are a student or you don't have work yet, I have small bad news aka coping stategy for you and here it goes. You have to manage and dance to your dad's tune. You may hate him and life @ your home but if he is providing you with a hot meal and roof over your head, you have to humble yourself bro. You have to suck it in and act the fool! It remains your dad's home afterall. Your siblings cowering before him are not fools. Manage yourself n bear or better still MOVE OUT of his house.

3. If truly you are his 1st son, I want to believe you mean something to him even if he acts otherwise. He may not know how to express it and perhaps he acts that way cos he believes you are not living up to expectation. Please don't be depressed, do ur bit and leave d rest for God.pls take this seriously, take it from someone who knew a man (my uncle). My uncle hardly got along with his 1st son, quarell up and down coupled with some poor choices by my cousin. This cousin sadly passed away through sickness. Therock5555, I tell you, no one wept to reach my uncle. I tell you, he loved that boy in his own way. Nuff said. Believe me, if only you could see inside your dad's heart.

4. There are unreasonable barbaric or even wicked parents but we don't get to pick who brings us to this world. I know what of 2 friends who passed through hell while growing up but today there are out of their father's home with their own family. Not holding brief for your dad but just trying to say 'manage' him until you leave home.

At least if your dad did nothing, he sent you to school (I'm assuming) thus making you the great writer you are. That must surely count for something.

PS: if you don't have job, scour your area. Do something you enjoy. Go meet the business owner and tell them you want to intern, learn a skill or work for free! Yes. Some may charge a pittance for training you. Just do anything so you're not so depressed, remain busy and stay out of your father's hair. All d best bro. Will say a prayer for you.

thanks man

Lemme correct the notion, my dad never made me a writer, I struggled to draw picture stories at a very young age but he tore them up, i can tell you how many times my phone was seized because I was typing an update, he thinks I'm watching porn or something worse, a certain time I had to be submitting my phone by 10 pm because he claimed I pressed it too much, even though a kobo of his wasn't used to buy it


Work is not an issue for me, I'm sure I would rise above his hate someday

Therock5555:
thank you, anything else?

God dash dis hammer sense sha. Some persons sha, I expect u to ameliorate is present conditions. Mtcheeeew. Nairaland needs screening during reg

Oooh, i wish you can invite jesus consciously into your life, ask him to help you through this. I am not talking about religious jesus that doesnt make any meaning but Relational Jesus you can have authetic relationship with. You would soon start seeing this in a different light. God help.

naijadeyhia:
Many of you here giving advice are still kids yourself who still have rebellious tendencies so you would always want to stick with the OP. However OP I am not on your team. Allow me to tell you why.

1) I first took time to go through your posts here on nairaland as well as your diaries including those you said " the stories were true but names changed" and you really need help....i will come back to this shortly....

2) You are the second child but the first son and you wonder why your father is being hard on you? I am also a first son and all you lamented about I experienced it too but until I realised that my dad was not the problem and that I had the problem things never changed.
You see like you I and so stood up to my dad often but only on issues that were right especially after I became born again but I never stood up to him in disrespect but calmly passed my message across. I have slept in the rain, sun, got disowned at a point, slept with church members and eaten with them as no food was forthcoming from home because like u I was also . labelled a black sheep so you see your case isn't peculiar.
It is the one whom the father loves that he chastises the most and until I learnt how to draw close to my dad and engage him in truly meaningful conversation I was my own problem.
I had my fair share of hotels and women and it was as if I was hellbent on dis gracing my family until I had to stop and think and make some major adjustments and today I am my father's best friend as we joke around as friends not even as father and son. FYI my dad is now 68 and I around 40.
He wanted me to be an urban and regional planner which I studied in school but inside I wanted to be a musician or a businessman so I deliberately chose to do a biz of my own just tons pipe him but it only made matters worse.
However today all things have worked together fo Good because I am now fully into real estate but from all business angle as I develop and sell properties.

My dad really loved me in his own twisted way but I had to discover that and will myself to move towards him Same way u need to discover yours and move closer.
Only intense anger would make make a father wish his son was dead and I would like to say that his expectations from you as a first son and your actions or inactions pushed him to that point.

I dare say that perhaps peer pressure is one of your major problems as you seem to be having more influences outside your home and foolishly bring those influences into ur fathers house.
He is the captain of that home and not you...LEARN AND UNDERSTAND THAT! Why you get your own place and pay your own rent then feel free to do as u please.

I am a father now so fully appreciate what my dad tried doing when I was young. You OP will soon see the bigger picture as right now u are not.

Back to number 1 above... i want you to tell yourself the truth which at a point in this your submission u did when u said "u are demonic" . Ask yourself if your head is in the right place and if your actions match the impression u want ur dad to have about u. Clean yourself up OP....clean up your mind, ur thoughts and the words that come from u. REBRAND and you will see your dad do same.

On a final note, every father has n expectation for his kids and yours is not an exception. You will also have expectations for your kids when they start coming and perhaps you may give them corporal punishment when they fail to live up to your expectations. Sit down and give your life a thought OP and u will see that your dad isn't that bad.

Cheers!

OP hope you saw the advice above.
I agree your dad is hurting you psychologically and is going too far with his method of parenting. But you should also understand its because he wants you to turn out in a way he expected. most times parents make the mistake of not understanding their child is a full human with a mind of his own. You should learn to respect him and act more responsibly. Go for prayers and deliverance if you are finding being responsible difficult. And when you go for youth service, make sure u don't come back to continue depending on him.

Your dreams and your goals will determine the action you need to take. You are not a black sheep. It is mere foolishness to refer to yourself as such. Successful people are just different- like they say, square peg in a round hole. If you pay attention to him, you will actually become the loser he is trying to design you to be. I am suprised that you were foolish enough to lose a contract when you had your transport fare in hand. All it would have taken is an excuse to go somewhere nearby, then you attend to your business, return, receive the usual insults and then just apologise. Our parents are Africans. We can never change their ideologies. Just develop a thick skin, remain focused and succeed at whatever your calling is. then you will see the dramatic change that will happen in your home. Be strong.

Blyzz:
brother, moving away from d house is never d best solution. he shud stoop low to his parents, especially his mum. cos when ur mum is tired of u, then you got no peace. be respectful, stop challenging ur parents all d time. & if u did all this, and u prayed as well, if you didn't see change. then be aware you're ready to live on ur own. but try all I've told u for straight one month!!

I don't challenge them except they start shouting incentively at me, most times so loud so that the whole neighborhood could hear and get my image spoilt


I once was dragged like a thief through three neighborhoods because my elder sis showed them a porn cd that I was mistakenly given to by a lecturer thinking it was a Nigerian home video, I was tortured to tell where I got it from but I would not call the man's name, I was dragged to a girlfriend's place and till date she hates me because my dad accused her of giving me the cd since I refused speaking, if I challenged their authority then I would have punched him and flee that money.

It keeps getting uglier bro

Therock5555:
thanks man

Lemme correct the notion, my dad never made me a writer, I struggled to draw picture stories at a very young age but he tore them up, i can tell you how many times my phone was seized because I was typing an update, he thinks I'm watching porn or something worse, a certain time I had to be submitting my phone by 10 pm because he claimed I pressed it too much, even though a kobo of his wasn't used to buy it


Work is not an issue for me, I'm sure I would rise above his hate someday

You're hiding alot of details from the thread. How many bad things/actions/situations have you been caught with by him or anyone?

Are you saying he has always been like this to you since childhood or it started later on?

Waiting to read your response to this comment and also to my previous comments.

What does ur mum say abt his ill treatments towards u, does she support him,does ur mum show u love and kia? I think if ur mum loves and treat u ryt,then its time to use her love as a consolation,overlook ur dads rash treatments,dnt get upset wen he does bad tins to u,dnt get depressed,laugh evn wen he thinks he's punishing u,trust me,if u do all these,he wil start getting frustrated...NOTE=Start luking for a means of livelihood(whether in d field he likes or detest) so dat u can get off his roof

rahymat:
chat with him regularly play games like scrabble with him wash nd iron his clothes wen greeting him make sure u prostrate well.say your prayers.dad too was strict to me before he has never smiled at me before bt wen i did all dis we became close frnds bt if dis didnt work maybe u should try talkin to ur pastor secretly he would knw wat to do

talking to my pastor would cause more harm than good

onila:


you deserve to be beaten for that useless attitude

200 strokes sef, under the rain

u be real black sheep

I'm sure you would do that to your 2 year old son that barely know good from evil

@Therock5555 in as much as i try not to comment , it holds me a heavy grief to stay out without mentioning that we have alot in common just around your age, infact i can say my situation might be worse unless you didnt say everything done to you, down to the pepper and public disgrace, down to school and public school parading in different names inside the school by my mother which was the case.. Nak-ed. Father started the discipline part of Locking me up like a hard criminal at any offense at a certain time at any slightest misbehaviour or misdoings, well? I can tell you i boldly wrote on the walls of that small empty room "i hate daddy" Yea , that was to say the magnitured of unbearable torture i had.

I really cannot say exactly when things started getting better as i can only remember the last when i left the house to a far state (Enugu) from Warri after he Slapped me. By then, i was already making some money repairing and configuring laptops and phones around the age of 16-17. I made sure no one knew my where abouts unless my elder sister which i begged not to tell anyone until he ordered i return or make it public on national TV i was missing. I actually had to return promptly upon getting that text. Well i can tell you that was the last time my father Slaped or attempted to touch me, since then, we have been behaving maturely till date, i cant tell you how the man is proud of me today as i am not only just the pillar of the family as i do not only train my younger ones through school, pay him his Monthly allowance hes been receiving right from time even for the fact he's still working , or the fact that trained myself through the University, or the millions of naira deeds and properties in his name including a multi million project worth over 50 Million ongoing.. I still wish my mother was still alive to gain from me more but we lost her to cancer about 4 years ago..

I hope you can learn something from this..
Ask yourself what you want to make out of life, see what you really want for yourself and how you can make your family happy and proud of you again. You still have alot of time if you ask me

Guy,

Get two phones. The real one and the cheap one as decoy. Always have to real one hidden. Only check few times a day.

Put your phone in silent mode, so that way, it doesn't beep when you have messages.

Please you have to be cunning if you want to survive your father.

Therock5555:
thank you so much, I'm trying to save but it's not easy, any coded packages I try to run get stalled by him because it involves phones, I'm a techy person and I do 75% of my deals online but he keeps seizing my phone even though he last bought me a phone in Ss 1 about 8 years ago


I once had a good customer clientage on phone and browsing deals which fetched me lots of cash but because they usually came in the night due to my unavailability in the day time but I was termed a cultist and they my members so I had to let it go

@OP,God is your strength.Na so my parents both of them take spoil my immediate elder brother's life and then start complaining he is not successful.
Thank God that we are all grown up now and we can really pinpoint their errors in our lifes.
Many African parents don't deserve to have children at all..because many of them no dey make sense.

Pls @OP l,if u could drop ur dad's contact email or phone number,I or some sensible NLers will find a way to get in touch and talk some sense in him.

Also u need to be very prayerful and don't let depression brings u down...It could be a spiritual attack which ur parents fail to see it that way.U might be the one that should really make ur family proud and become very successful but the enemies have seen it since ur birth and have started working against that.

Check my profile...I can talk responsibly with ur any of ur parents.

Cheers boy and stay strong.

ProfEinstein:
Olodo, are u trying to justify the parents emotional abuse? You must be a psycho like them.. Beast!!!!!

nairaland is like a classroom, first class material dey, second class dey, third class dey and even those with no class, now pick ur class man and mingle with them cos I am clearly not at ur level.

I thank God for d grace He gave u to have been bearing all these for long. My brother, life is all about changing verdicts. U can change ur dad's negative verdicts of u. U can be what God wants u to be and u can have what God promised u in the world. Dont fight ur parents bcs spiritualy, it will affect ur destiny, jst take what is happening now as part of test or trial u have to past for u to be what God wants u to be. For gold to be pure, it must past throu fire. For one to reach d promise land, he must past throu d wilderness. It shall be well with u. I hope ur dad has siblins? Meet them and tell them what is happening, they can call him to order. Just be focuse and dont allow any of these to set u back, bcs if u dont succeed, it will be worst, it seems what he said about is true, but if u succeed, u will prove him wrong and he will join others to congratulate u. I wish u all the best.

wow... this brough tears to my eyes .

I feel your pain bro lemme advice you.. go'an buy sniper insecticides or any poison, make sure its only you n him at home..scream out loud n pretend your dying with the poison opened beside you..if he eventually comes out n see's you watch his reaction...if he tries to save you..hug him immediately n tell him you love him n ask him why he treats you badly n what you did wrong...if he does not try to save you bro don't stay in that house a sec more run for your life but first does your mum also treat bad

Eddygourdo:
the fact is that you are at fault in everything happening to you. I can tell you categorically that most of the abuse you feel you are bring subjected to are exaggerated because you are viewing everything from the victim perspective, clearly you are disappointing your parents in one Way or the other. No proud parent will treat his or her child like this if not that they aren't proud of who you have become or who you will become. You sulk around your home, you take things too personally and you automatically believe they are against you simply because they disagree with you. Mr man grow up. Change your ways, be a better son, be a better brother to your siblings, accept your lot in life by trying to see things from your parents eyes first, it's in understanding first that people are understood, you haven't ever tried to understand your parents rather you believe they both hate you. I say this with confidence on two reasons, if you are being treated unfairly as the first born son by your father, your mum wil revolt but so far she says nothing and agrees with your old man then u get sko sko for head, and secondly I was everything you just mentioned above, the only difference is that I spent many a night tied up after serious beating for fingering my aunties or throwing my friend into a soak away pit and covering it up in hope he died. Despite my devilshness I played the victim card just as you are doing till I became a man and realised i could have been landlord pickin thanks to the devil's in me as well as my behaviour. The moment I changed my ways to accepting my parents and siblings as my life, I also started understanding them too, after awhile they now understand me too. Cheers

dude this is not a matter of I started one day, I grew up bearing the brunt and tag of a black sheep, I never knew when it started or the first crime I ever committed, I've done tons of good in this family and maybe a truckload of wrongs but that's what makes one human I guess



I could wash everyone cloth and get complaints that I can't even wash but my elder sis does same thing and she is termed a good wife material and role model

I could contribute 10k to finances but if I say I don't have money to buy soap and termed a good for nothing stingy cow

The problem is not been a black sheep, what he should ask himself is, who made me the black sheep

Therock5555:
thanks man

Lemme correct the notion, my dad never made me a writer, I struggled to draw picture stories at a very young age but he tore them up, i can tell you how many times my phone was seized because I was typing an update, he thinks I'm watching porn or something worse, a certain time I had to be submitting my phone by 10 pm because he claimed I pressed it too much, even though a kobo of his wasn't used to buy it


Work is not an issue for me, I'm sure I would rise above his hate someday

[b]I noticed a trend with you. You do not take criticism well and even here you only respond to the posts that fan your ego. You are just 21 yrs old kid so you ain't seen nothing yet. I am sure deep down inside you know ur father loves u. Has your father ever paid the police to lock u up for 2 days? Has your dad ever disowned u? Has your dad ever asked u to leave his house and u slept on someone's balcony on a raffia mat in the rain and sun? Has your dad stopped your school fees because u said u are born again and u had to pay your way through higher institution by yourself? Has your dad made your entire family both nuclear and extended to detest u because they respected him so much and automatically felt he was right and you were wrong so took his side without listening to you and your only friend was your mom? Dude I passed through all that as a first son in order to be the man i am today. Different strokes for different folks. Some dads are wimps and would say yes to everything u do or say while others put their foot down on anything and everything.

They don't make us who we end up unless we chose to end up that way. Grow up and smell the coffee. You are the first son and to whom much is given much is expected... With great power comes great responsibility. OP Change[/b]!!!!

Estharfabian:
[size=28pt]Lmfao!![/size]

its not funny... You never know that misguilded fellow that will pick that up as an option.

TheRock5555, If you are serious in your desire to end , contact me via email: flyingdutchman0314@gmail.com
When you contact me, indicate : (a) if you are still in school (b) What you are studying (c) What do you see yourself doing in future? (d) What do you think you are talented enough to do (e) YOUR TRUE AGE (f) You are about to embark on a physical, mental and psychological journey. But, everything depends on how badly you want an end to this. There are no shortcuts to redeeming your image before your family. Even a million dollars can't solve it. You have to earn it by improving your lifestyle and aspirations. BALL'S IN YOUR COURT

naijadeyhia:



[b]I noticed a trend with you. You do not take criticism well and even here you only respond to the posts that fan your ego. You are just 21 yrs old kid so you ain't seen nothing yet. I am sure deep down inside you know ur father loves u. Has your father ever paid the police to lock u up for 2 days? Has your dad ever disowned u? Has your dad ever asked u to leave his house and u slept on someone's balcony on a raffia mat in the rain and sun? Has your dad stopped your school fees because u said u are born again and u had to pay your way through higher institution by yourself? Has your dad made your entire family both nuclear and extended to detest u because they respected him so much and automatically felt he was right and you were wrong so took his side without listening to you and your only friend was your mom? Dude I passed through all that as a first son in order to be the man i am today. Different strokes for different folks. Some dads are wimps and would say yes to everything u do or say while others put their foot down on anything and everything.

They don't make us who we end up unless we chose to end up that way. Grow up and smell the coffee. You are the first son and to whom much is given much is expected... With great power comes great responsibility. OP Change[/b]!!!!

I noticed that too. He's interested in getting pitied rather than solving the whole issue.

mikolo80:
reply me. how old are you? I May have a solution. took me almost 20 yrs to crack the 'code '

hi, pls tell me the solution, cos im also going through the same thing

obum88:

First, from your write up I noticed you tried to vindicate yourself and make us see your dad as a monster. I would want to know your age.


If I have a son like you, I will send him to a seminary school out of my sight because I might be the one killing him.

If I was trying to vindicate myself I won't put up something as derogatory as looking up my mom's skirt

I don't smoke, drink, party or go out at night. I keep intimate relationship but out of his sight



My crimes were just playing football, petty stealing to play pes and other minor stuffs.

I've done bad things agreed but I guess that's what makes me human