[b]Disclaimer: You must have an understanding of Pun(word play) to catch the humour in these jokes.
1.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian(illusion)
3.
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of MaThS disruption.
5.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little BeHInD in his work.
6.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are lOoKiNg iNtO It.
12.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on aHEAD."
14.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."
16.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."
17.
A chicken crossing the road is pOuLtRy in mOtIOn.
18.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the BALLS to do it.
19.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at lArgE.
20.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21.
A backward poet writes in-verse (inverse)
22.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24.
Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!
25
An old man fixes a broken electric bulb in his room,switches it on and exclaims "Now i'm enLIGHTened"

26 Qstn:Who is a penguin's favorite aunt?
Ans: Aunt-ARCTICA

27 Sittin in ur house & thinking of changing ur next door neighbor's tv channel is a "remote" possibility[/b]

#Nerdyjokes
if u ain't witty u ain't catching it!

You've got some very crazy puns here,wow!

I especially loved the 10th one and a dozen others...
Good stuff!

Finally,someone gets it....bigups to you @Sheikwonder

Good collection, sir. You should read (if you haven't already) "A book of nonsense" by Edward Lear. You can also try "outsized clothes" by L. E. Phant!

daslimiski:
Good collection, sir. You should read (if you haven't already) "A book of nonsense" by Edward Lear. You can also try "outsized clothes" by L. E. Phant!

alright,i'll look out for 'em...thanks

No. 11 was fuggin hilarious!

great puns man...permit me to use some as my whatsapp status...infact I love number 8, 12, 5, 2, and 14....I also like number 7, 6, 3, 15, 18, 1, 4, 9, 11, 10, 21,22,23,24,25,19,20,17,16 and number 19....

Lool,u go pay royalty per pun o @ImperfectMe

Tedassie:

alright,i'll look out for 'em...thanks

,,d guy meant edward liar and elephant,,not L.E phant,,,,,he used pun spank you

pojophilius:
,,d guy meant edward liar and elephant,,not L.E phant,,,,,he used pun spank you

In the game of TOMfoolery,PLAYING dumb isn't against the rules

Tedassie:

In the game of TOMfoolery,PLAYING dumb isn't against the rules

,,tz nt against the rules but still not part of the rules,,

Tedassie:

In the game of TOMfoolery,PLAYING dumb isn't against the rules

i (PUN)ked you too..

pojophilius:
,,tz nt against the rules but still not part of the rules,,

Man,itz a RULE OF THUMB,though i see it not! If my "adroit" mind dropped it,then it's OFFHAND.. I've searched every where couldbe at the TIP OF MY TONGUE,hmm wait! lemme put a FINGER ON IT

(Puns+Idiomatic expressions fully intended)


*psychomode#