bukatone:
I found this VERY INTERESTING.

Side Guy, Boyfriend, The other man; He is that guy who shares your woman or worse enjoys your woman more than you do. . He is the one your woman pings early in the morning just to tell heim“Good Morning Hdsome”. When she is with him, she is this cool girl who knows all the ool joints in town, they both sing along to Dorobucci on the radio. He is the one she takes along when she goes on business trips. It is just more convenient, she doesn’t have to think of who to leave her children with, besides he is more fun, he is the one she does acrobatic sex with, the guy who has enough time and energy to match her libido. You on the other hand are the husband/boyfriend, the one she has “married sex” with – the ” flam-bam-bam-yawn-are we done yet” type.

Yes she comes home to you every night but how is that going? Does she still hold you close to her every night, do you guys still play and fight under covers or does she turn her back to you and acts like she is too deep asleep to notice you have been tapping her. Yes she still buys you stuff, bags, perfumes, and stuff, that’s if you are lucky though but then she buys them to ease her conscience after she and the side guy has spent a whole day shopping or worse. If the side guy is the “nice” type, he makes her buy them for you. He goes “Baby, This perfume is nice, your boyfriend/husband will like it”, “He doesn’t need it.” she responds frowning because she is a bit uncomfortable her side guy is picking a gift for her husband/boyfriend but he prevails on her.

But then I have news for you, this side guy, he usually doesn’t want to take your place, He has a girlfriend or even a fiancee and so has no desire to chase you away. No, it’s only learners that operate that way. The wise side guys are comfortable being just that, they even add you as a friend on Facebook, and they follow you on Twitter (Trust me, you most of the time don’t know they are your rival). They like the pictures of your cherub faced children, when you post your hubby’s photo captioning it as world’s best husband and gushing about how you love him to bits. They comment on it, they go “Awww, I covet”. (Yes they really covet and errr, they are already getting the better deal).

Some will even buy presents for your kids on their birthdays. You may or may not know the gifts are from them, it all depends on how far gone your wife is in this game. Shee could act like she got the gift herself or tell you its from this friend or colleague of his; Mr Lagbaja he really likes the child as he is his son’s birthday mate. You even tell him to call so you can say thanks. Of course the Mr Lagbaja or Uncle Tamedun is to make you not suspect. Saying Nara or Jentifer my friend wouldn’t have sounded so good.

It’s not like you are totally clueless, some days you ask yourself how come she no longer comments on your hairdo, other days you wonder why she seemed to be impatient or downright mean. It’s Saturday you need to cook three different soups so you could stock the freezer for the week, the floors need to be mopped, the bathrooms cleaned and yes you need to get to the market, not forgetting that you have to take Sasa to his ballet class and Bibi to her Violin lessons. Come evening, you are dog tired and depressed that you have just one more day in the weekend. You smell of Onion, Garlic, Breast milk and baby reflux. You need a hug, you go to dear wife in the Bedroom.

“I am so tired” you say. That’s an opening. You expect to hear “pele baby, why don’t you come lie down here for a while” Instead you hear “What’s that smell?” It’s so horrible, can’t you use a glove or something if you need to cut Garlic or Onions? jeez you can be so annoying.” You have an angry retort on your lips and if you are the no nonsense type, you let off, you give her a piece of your mind, “yada, yada yada”.

Finally your suspicions get the better of you. “I need to know”, you say, so you wait till she is fast asleep and pick her phone to check through (Meanwhile men who want to keep their sanity will not do this no matter the temptation). Your heart rate is 360 beats per minute, yet you can’t stop yourself. You go ahead and boom you get more than you bargained for. Not only is there a side guy, but they are so damn close, she discusses everything with him, she even tells him how much she hates seeing fishnet on your head, she tells him when your six month old had his first teeth, you wince when you read how she tells him she is preparing for work and he goes “Baby be careful o, don’t injure Big Joe with your zipper again, ayam not ready to starve for a week again o”.

You almost had a heart attack. Big Joe? That has to be her ….. “OMG, starve for a week, how often do they do it?” you thought fighting a sudden desire to go bash the op. But wait oooo, when did she injure Big Joe that you her husband did not know? You check the date of the chat, it was about a week ago and that was when it dawned on you, “won ti gba iyawo mi” you murmur. “Yeh. I am a housekeeper and father of her children. This guy is the husband/boyfriend.” Suddenly, it’s clear, you run your fingers through your hair trying to remember the last time you made love or the last time you even had a glimpse of her equipment – “Big Joe”. “O ti pe mehn!” You mumble. You had not made love in over 8 weeks and neither of you had missed it. As for Big Joe, it must be close to a year you saw it last. Lovemaking sorry “meeting your wife” became a middle of the night thing after your second child, no pre-intimacy (ki lonjebe), she just runs his hand over your chests and you get the message, you open your legs , she climbs on you and it starts, you feel nothing abi small sha, you are just too fagged out.

It hurts but what can be done? You think of giving him a giving the op a big slap on the back to rouse her and demand explanations, but you realize you don’t want that confrontation. Tell Mama? Oh no, you don’t want to do that. No third parties remember. Then you remember someone who wouldn’t tell anybody else; Google! You open the Google search and type “She is cheating, what to do”. There is so much information. Wow!” You say feeling some relief that it’s not just you. Millions of men are in your shoes, there is so much advice to choose from but in the end, it is you who decide on what to do.

First you reply the last message he sent to your wife. It came in after she slept so unread. He tells her to dream of him as he will of her. He says he would be expecting her by 11.am the next day. You reply him “She sure would dream of you darling. However please don’t expect her by 11 tomorrow, she might be late. She has an errand to run for her husband at that same time. Have a nice night dearie.” Your teeth is clenched as you type, yet you derive some satisfaction. This way she will know you know.

So what next? Its morning and you wait for her to say something, you wait to see if she will confront you, but she says nothing. You watch out of the corner of your eyes as she watches you when she thinks you are too preoccupied to notice. Its 10 a.m and she is yet to yake her bath. 10.30 am and still she is on the bed. You don’t offer her food even though you made her own portion. You wait till 11 am and tells her you need to talk to her.She doesn’t respond so you start anyway. You talk about how things had to change, that you need to shed and or share some responsibilities. Henceforth, ballet practice and Violin practice will be her call. Yes, she thought house helps were unnecessary but you need one and intend to get right away, this person will resume at 7am everyday and close at 7pm. Friday nights would be date nights, you two alone anywhere but the house. You intend to go on summer vacation, Seychelles to be precise and he would be coming along. She listens to everything you say and at the end she says. “I am ready to do all you want”. I am sorry Babe”. But you say nothing.


Source: toyinfabus.

Copied from: http://naijasinglegirl.com/she-has-a-side-guy/