armyofone:
Your wife should be the one doing the hiring not you. She knows what is best as far as getting help. You should hands off the hiring process. You can't just bring in someone else into your home without her having a say. What happened to you getting involved in running your own home while your holds down a job ?

bebene:
She is a graduate and before they got married, he made her promise she will not go for Bank job, But later after the marriage,she got an offer from one of those banks and acaccepted it. seeing the level of her excitement, he allowed her to go for the job. She now doesnt have time to prepare breakfast for the family and mostly come back late. He now hired a19year maid, but the wife said she doesnt want young girl as a maid, she wants elderly woman. And he said he doesnt want elderly woman in his house and gave his wife the option of quitting the job or that young maid continues.....

She now doesnt listen to him, come back around 11pm, if he talk, she will say 'i thought you have a second wife'.

pls what should he do,?

agarawu23:
yes miss/Mrs, if you want a principle man as your hubby, I am available

quivah:

I'm sorry,but I wanna,gonna become a medical doctor.. I don't need that kinda principled man ..
However,there are many women out there ready to trade their purpose for such a principled man like yourself.
I wish you luck

agarawu23:
this made me sad

quivah:

Aww... Don't be na.
Fish plantain for river, it depends on the one your net catch..

agarawu23:
wanna catch a doctor like you so that you can gv me injection

quivah:

Sorry, but no one like me needs an enemy of progress

You can try an upcoming road side chemist, you know..you still get to receive your injection. and set up her business.. Just like you want

quivah:

Sorry, but no one like me needs an enemy of progress

You can try an upcoming road side chemist, you know..you still get to receive your injection. and set up her business.. Just like you want

agarawu23:
wanna catch a doctor like you so that you can gv me injection

cococandy:

You want to catch a doctor But also want one who will be willing to do whatever doctorate degree she wants and come drop the cert in your house to go open a roadside business.

Confused man.

agarawu23:
see coco

I think that's my own way and what I want for myself. Different strokes for folks.

cococandy:

I didn't say you shouldn't want what you want.

You just want two contradictory things in one person. That doesn't make any sense. At least to me.

agarawu23:
my earlier comment u quoted was a joke with that lady, I just can't stand a career Lady and I blv I will find my type of girl sooner or later

cococandy:
Oh you will find her.
That's no problem at all.

Miami11:


I'm not wrong I don't hire anyone young in my house, my mom gets me those village women her age that need help, all they do is primarily take care of kids and very little house work, me and hubby do chores together

I like older women because they are mature, hubby will never sleep with them you can never mistreat a person your moms age so your conscious is always right.

Acidosis:
People just get married for the wrong reasons.


Career-driven women should learn to stay unmarried till death. If more women avoid marriage, family related troubles will reduce by 90%.

We do not hear this kind of issue from Reverend Sisters (Nuns).

cococandy:

You want to catch a doctor But also want one who will be willing to do whatever doctorate degree she wants and come drop the cert in your house to go open a roadside business.

Confused man.

quivah:

Hear this one o Does this even makes sense??!
How will you hear such stories from nuns,when they are unmarried.. No husband wahala, no enemy of progress issues.... Just them and themselves.
That's just a stupid analogy from you sir.

If more women avoid marriage, the few that are married/getting married..will still face these family related troubles..as long as they are still getting married to the same set of men,your type of men.
So, tell me..how is the problem solved?

Bullsh.it!

ronald4lif:
I'm interested in knowing if they have kids and why exactly does he (or they) need a maid.

I think the marriage has broken down and they should initiate the process of splitting before it becomes violent.

The woman isn't ready to give up her job and the man is adamant to get an elderly maid. And for the woman to start coming that late means she may have given up on the union so I see no reason why it should subsist further.

I won't advice the woman to give up her job just so she can perform 'wifely' duties. The both aren't mutually elusive and she's got a career to sustain.

Neither will I advice the man to go for an elderly maid even though he can afford one and to be quite frank he's in a better position to put an end to the issue. His insistence of a young maid is a calculated attempt to bring the wife to submission and coerced her to give up her job. I detest intimidation and if I were the wife I'd stand my ground, sorry.

They should be bold enough to embrace a separation or divorce as the case may be.

Acidosis:


Since you consider men as enemies of progress, while then do women like you get married?

My post is directed to career-driven women who consider family needs as stumbling blocks to their career growth, women who places their job & bosses above the needs of the family, husband and children.

A woman whose goals in life is to leave home as earlier as 4am and return 11pm does not deserve marriage/children. Whether you like it or not, a sexy maid is better of and more valuable than such a woman.

What's the difference between btw the two?

While the goal of the former is to care for a family, the food, general cleaning and other in-house tasks, the latter has chosen to treat his so called better-half with reckless abandon whilst bowing down to pressures of other family men at work cooperatively and corporately.

Some of these job conscious women would go as far as sleeping with bosses for quick promotions. So what's the husband's gains? Her salary? lol, same salary some women would rather secretly spend on land and properties without the husband's consent.

See, some of us still hold the good African values our fathers and mother's handed over to us.

A woman who has decided to consciously or unconsciously abandon his matrimonial & family responsibilities has no business dictating the nature of maid the husband deserves. She has to either bow to the husband's specification or quit her job!

Better still, both the husband and the wife should get one maid each; one for the wife and one for the husband. After all, they're both independent.

Anything that takes a married woman away from home 4am only to return 11pm daily is no longer a job, but stu.pidity.

Unlike women, men do not get married because of pressures from family or because they're getting old. We get married to be cared for, to be treated as Kings; Fathers; to love and to be loved!

quivah:

Now, you are talking..
However, do note that not all career women are 'career women'..
Some just want their dreams become a realization while still attending to their families.. Which will be earlier for them to achieve, if they have supportive husbands to help them. Ngozi,Dora etc wouldn't have gotten there if their husbands were anything like you.

And please stop being a judge..you have no right whatsoever.. Seeing that you are bent on generalizing on the basis of this thread, then you have no say.. The woman the op is referring to is more than a career woman, shes got ulterior motives asides her bank job.. which job takes you a way from home from 4am-11pm abeg!
This woman will still behave this way if she owns a shop, as its obvious she's trying to get back at her husband, in a bad way..
So, if you wanna condemn all career women, then all working women should fall into it.
A pepper seller is a career woman as far as am concerned!
Women like me will not and never get married to such men like you,I can't imagine myself spending 6years in school only for one man to open a shop Me,God forbids evil!
So, a man who will share,help me build my purpose is who I desire..not a dream killer. If I however want to become a shop owner, it should be solely on my decision.
And I will get married because many men out there ain't you and your lots.

If you have anything against career women,please allow YOUR wife become a full time house wife and stop judging other people using this thread as your stronghold. Its rubbish!

Acidosis:


I also won't consider getting married to someone like you who detest hardworking shop owners. I won't even consider a woman whose purpose is to spend her years on earth pursuing someone else's purpose at the detriment of her family.

You mentioned Okonjo Iweala, but you forgot to mention how and where she started.

No responsible man will stop a mature wife (tested & trusted) whose children are old enough to take care of the home from working or pursuing any dream. Some of these women you mentioned raised responsible children and today they have their grand daughters and sons.

By this time tomorrow when she (OP) gets an offer in Chicago, I'm very sure she'll recklessly abandon her husband. If you can't manage both the family and your career, then simply hold on to one. Bank of Industry boss is a woman and she proudly bares the title - 'Ms.' She's single, a career driven boss and she's happy.

In fact, these days, people don't pursue 'career', the word is changing and everyone is after MONEY. The love of MONEY should not replace our conscience. If your dream is to become a banker at Wema Bank, would you reject an oil and gas offer tomorrow at Shell?

I will never forget the day my mom received a transfer letter within the same state. She rejected the offer and told the boss to either maintain the status quo or she quit! Its a government job anyway, but she retained her job till date.

These days the love of MONEY (not career) has taken over our values, and we only see marriage as an appendage to escape spinster-hood. Madam, marriage is a serious business that requires compromise.

No responsible man will stop a mature wife (tested & trusted) whose children are old enough to take care of the home from working or pursuing any dream. Some of these women you mentioned raised responsible children and today they have their grand daughters and sons.

In fact, these days, people don't pursue 'career', the word is changing and everyone is after MONEY. The love of MONEY should not replace our conscience. If your dream is to become a banker at Wema Bank, would you reject an oil and gas offer tomorrow at Shell?

quivah:

Like I said earlier, I leave you to it.
Your stance shouldn't matter, since we are not on the same page.. We all got tastes mhen
Your opinion only holds water to your wife/ves(as d case maybe)

So, cause I can't drop my career to become a shop owner means I detest them
Who says I can't become an MD, and still open a supermarket
I don tire o

@emboldened.. Smiles,now that's very funny.. Which sane human will purposely pursue someone else's dream,when she's got hers.. Do you even think before you type at all.. How is that in line with our discussion? Except you meant, a woman's only purpose on earth is to bare and rear kids while her man's is to become whatever thing he wants.. So, she shouldn't be a lawyer, cause that's like a Man's purpose..
Why did I even get into a conversation with you

quivah:

Ok people, please Warrisdis


My dream can't be to become a " banker at wema"... It will be to become A BANKER. anywhere I get to work as one,so far good.. So be it!
What conscience? So far I got to be what I want, to be, i will leave anywhere to anywhere more convenient for me.. No wants to remain stagnant in life So if the job is good,the money is good and I still stay in my lane as a banker,, why not?

Acidosis:


Someone else's dream in that contest means the love of being an employee (lawyer, or any title) to an organisation/company owner at the detriment of the family.

There are certainly married women who feel bad about the fact that they spend less time with their family. Anyone can cope with that situation while striving to attain a better and more conducive opportunity.

If you still do not understand my views, then you can stop responding. The conclusion of the matter is that for me, I cannot cope with a woman that exalts her job above the family through her actions and inactions.

quivah:

Ok people, please Warrisdis


My dream can't be to become a " banker at wema"... It will be to become A BANKER. anywhere I get to work as one,so far good.. So be it!
What conscience? So far I got to be what I want, to be, i will leave anywhere to anywhere more convenient for me .. No wants to remain stagnant in life So if the job is good,the money is good and I still stay in my lane as a banker,, why not?

Acidosis:


Lol


Is this an internet/empty rant or a real fact? Please endeavour not to get married to a good man o, you deserve a 'player' who has no time to feel your presence or absence in the home.


Marriage is not about YOU please.