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Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by CheeMoney(m): 9:29am On Jun 11, 2009
My white wedding is coming up on the 29th of August and as the preparations are going on, I was demanding from my fiancee that we should be accountable for every money we spend so as to squeeze the wedding within our tight budget of N2.5M. The problem is she's complaining that I'm scaring her by my suggestions. She said I'm not supposed to know how much she buys stuffs or what she does with the money I give her. Pls am I on the wrong part? Does that make me stingy and tight fisted with money? I'm footing all the bills as she is not working & no support is coming from her side.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by NNS83: 10:17am On Jun 11, 2009
U should have made a wedding budget in the first place, but yes if you are footing the bill then you have a say on what is spend on what . Finances can damage relationships, just make sure you both are upfront and honest.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 10:32am On Jun 11, 2009
if she is not putting anything towards it she should not be like this - i'm getting married and getting my own way - WHY cos i'm putting money towards things my husband thinks are not necessary but as a woman thats what I want.

To be honest if she over spends and then both of u are drinking garri for 6 months after the wedding is she not the same person that will complain. why is it those that don't earn their money don't know the value of it. N2.5mill and she is complaining, naija girls are too funny.

anyway each to their own
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Kx: 10:51am On Jun 11, 2009
CheeMoney:

tight budget N2.5M. The problem is she's complaining that I'm scaring her by my suggestions. She said I'm not supposed to know how much she buys stuffs or what she does with the money I give her.
My advice,dont ask her to be accountable since she dont seem to understand what that word means.
Speak in a language she ll understand.Break it down.
Get to plan and list everything you both need and the financial implication giving room to
10%increase here and there.
Then give her money to shop telling her what and what she should accomplish with the money knowing too well
that you must op within your budget.

When it comes to wedding shopping,most women simply wont be reasonable mostly due to peer pressure and influence.

But on the average,2.5m for wedding alone dont sound too reasonable,but if you go ahead with such amount,
I ll look out for you in ovation,Bisi Olatilo Show and NTA News night.
Spend prudently guy,times are changing.

3 Likes

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by ayoola22: 11:03am On Jun 11, 2009
Chee money, Tight budget of 2.5 million in this era of credit crunch?

Get real, Even if its 250k u ve the right to be involve but the same time dont over audit the babe,

She wont marry twice.

Agree on how much she can spend and then let her spend
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Africaine(f): 11:07am On Jun 11, 2009
2.5M for your white wedding alone, kai, I must make it in this lagos oh!!!

My guy,I have a wedding planner,he organized my wedding and it was simply superb and right on point,till date people still talking about the wedding and for the traditional and white we spent under 2M, he will work with your fiancee,hand in hand,protecting your interest and yet satisfying her. If u r interested ,hola.

1 Like

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by akinalabi(m): 11:08am On Jun 11, 2009
You should know how every kobo is spent. I will be doing it a month after you
so i'm preparing as well. The two of you must be accountable to each other

1 Like

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by jaybee3(m): 11:09am On Jun 11, 2009
CheeMoney:

My white wedding is coming up on the 29th of August and as the preparations are going on, I was demanding from my fiancee that we should be accountable for every money we spend so as to squeeze the wedding within our tight budget of N2.5M. The problem is she's complaining that I'm scaring her by my suggestions. She said I'm not supposed to know how much she buys stuffs or what she does with the money I give her. Pls am I on the wrong part? Does that make me stingy and tight fisted with money? I'm footing all the bills as she is not working & no support is coming from her side.
I hope she understands money ain't growing on the tree in ur garden.
Auditting her ain't overstepping any mark and why do people spend all this ridiculous amount of money on marriages? Isn't it just about the vows/prayers and the blessing from parents?
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by JJYOU: 11:11am On Jun 11, 2009
ronniq:

if she is not putting anything towards it she should not be like this - i'm getting married and getting my own way - WHY cos i'm putting money towards things my husband thinks are not necessary but as a woman thats what I want.

To be honest if she over spends and then both of u are drinking garri for 6 months after the wedding is she not the same person that will complain. why is it those that don't earn their money don't know the value of it. N2.5mill and she is complaining, naija girls are too funny.

anyway each to their own
some people only know rights and not responsibility.  i am all for letting her be herself but i dont like the sound of you are not supposed to know business. nigerians spend money they cant earn without any care. why? can someone tell me how much we spend on phone calls a day talking mostly rubbish
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:15am On Jun 11, 2009
JJYOU - don't understand ur point.

On another note is 2.5mill a lot for a wedding in Nigeria? cos that sounds a bit on the low side - not sure what the average wedding costs in Nigeria but our buget was over that and i thought it was too low. if there is a cheaper way to wed in nigeria abeg people advise!!!!!!!!
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by earthrealm(m): 11:34am On Jun 11, 2009
, LOL,
diffent sauces 4 different folks,

no1 can advice u on how much u shud spend on ur wedding/what is the average cost that an average couple spend on weddings.

or 2 put it in laymans terms, if ur mnthly salary is about 800k.spending 2.5m on a wedding wont b a big deal, but if on the other hand, ur mnthly income is abt 120k, then spending 2.5m will be outrageous!!!!, u get my drift now??,

anoda thing, ur fiance e has no right in refusing 2 account 4 the money u have given her, it mustnt be accurate, but @ least she shud give u a wriiten down estimate of what she has used ur money 4, or better still.come up with a budget/list of things to buy, attach a tentative price tag to them, thats the only way u will have a workable budget,

good luck as u traipse down the aisle with ur dream gal!!, sms me the cake oh!!
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by bblacky(f): 11:38am On Jun 11, 2009
ronniq:

if she is not putting anything towards it she should not be like this - i'm getting married and getting my own way - WHY cos i'm putting money towards things my husband thinks are not necessary but as a woman thats what I want.

To be honest if she over spends and then both of u are drinking garri for 6 months after the wedding is she not the same person that will complain. why is it those that don't earn their money don't know the value of it. N2.5mill and she is complaining, naija girls are too funny.

anyway each to their own
i accept that.
@post
yea as d one providin 4 d weddin u have d full right to inquire on wat d money is used for. we ladies are almost confused at this stage dat we tend to go for both d necessary and unnecessary items. she shud be focused n bear it in mind dat weddin is not the final or end of it all. wat happens after the wedding?
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by CheeMoney(m): 11:39am On Jun 11, 2009
Thanks all for ur input so for. We had a serious arguement last night & it led to her crying & that alone got me angrier. I didn't think there was any cause for her crying. She was insinuating my present actions means I'd be dictating for her what & what not to buy in the kitchen. Is that a sound judgment? Does that make me a dictator? I'm so relieved to hear from you guys that I'm on the right track. Yes every woman has a dream of a fairy tale wedding but realities has shown that most often than not, it has remained elusive for the majority due to the realities on ground. Money does not grow on trees like someone rightly said & I'd press further to know what our money is being used for, how much was spent & what balance do we have so we can channel the balance to other needs still aimed towards a successful wedding. Can you imagine her saying that her friends & cousin claimed this planning period is a time for her to make some savings which obviously will be at my expense. How am I supposed to react to this please my people. I need to know o. I want to be a great husband to my wife but I also know that money doesn't grow on trees.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:44am On Jun 11, 2009
sounds like a woman i know asking her fiance for money to buy the lace for her 10 friends that were doing ase obi at the wedding - i just laughed, she and her friends are not contributing a kobo to this and they have big eye like this.

na wah for some women o!!!

examlple - hubby gave me budget of 35k for invitations - i knew for the kind i wanted it would cost close to 50k so what did i do take my 35k from him thank him and make up the rest, if i didn't have money i would have to look for nice IV's at his budget. why can't we women see marriage as a partnership and not how much ur husband can spend over your friends,

1 Like

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by bblacky(f): 11:46am On Jun 11, 2009
she no well if na ur weddin money she wan take start savings, haba women are funny somtims n she had d gut to tell u dis, well she is startin womanhood by d time she realizes wat life is all about hmmmmm wat else she go know say money no dey grow 4 tree
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Kx: 11:52am On Jun 11, 2009
CheeMoney:

Can you imagine her saying that her friends & cousin claimed this planning period is a time for her to make some savings which obviously will be at my expense.

I noted earlier that her recent attitude flows directly from peer pressure and influence.
I pray you have not got your hands into a "good" woman sha because these are dangerous signs.

What it means it dat whatever you and her talk about is being downloaded freely to her friends and cousins
in the alter of wedding plan.

I reckon a lot of disturbing issues props up while planning for marriage which will eventual
settle when she moves in.
Work on her.You need her on ur side and not her friends and cousins side.
Bottom line,communication.You should both seek and obtain each others understanding.

1 Like

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:52am On Jun 11, 2009
U BETTER SIT HER DOWN AND EXPLAIN WHERE LISTENING TO HER FRIENDS WILL TAKE HER IN LIFE

she is getting married this is the time to cultivate her relationship with you and not listen to poison from useless friends, yes she should be saving - but if she has money to save why is not putting any of it to HER WEDDING - the one about complaining about what to buy in the kitchen is just funny - again if she does not want to contribute why should she demand certain products - knowing our women she will want the best from game or something.

ah the joys of having ur own money - i have already told hubby that whether he likes it or not we are getting a washing machine - or else he will be washing my clothes for a very long time (sorry i know its off topic) if he only brings £100 to it i will add my own and buy.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Mashkov: 11:54am On Jun 11, 2009
@Poster,

This is my advise and I compel you to take it. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN ON WHAT YOU WANT DONE AND HOW YOU WANT THE MONEY TO BE SPENT. Afterall, na you know how you take make the money and will be responsible for after party house maintenance.

This step is preparatory to being a man and a  husband, most women are spend thrifts, if you are not shrewd or firm in your finance decisions, you go run down and the same woman will talk down on you on not being able to meet your financial obligations.

Be wise man!!!
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by CheeMoney(m): 11:56am On Jun 11, 2009
@ronnig. God bless you. We have had some serious issues since this planning started. Ranging from pressure on her family's side. They claim that preparations are supposed to have been concluded since last month. They are claiming I'm too slow. Am I too slow on the preparations when we still have 2months to the wedding? I'm begining to think I'm marrying a woman who lacks understanding. And are weddings associated with this kind of headaches? Its driving me nots.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by kalmebad(f): 11:59am On Jun 11, 2009
Congrats to Yaa all about to wedd
Well, don't know what it is yet to plan  or cost for a wedding, hope to be experiencing that soon


There is noting absolute wrong in knowing how the money is been spent

Most of us women are not money managers, i guess ur ability to checkmate her will help cut down her excesses

The day she starts working for her own money is the she will understand how difficult or easy it is to earn one.

Once again congrats, August a bit far  though but don't forget to post our cake here. grin
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by origina9ja(f): 12:11pm On Jun 11, 2009
Don't feel that you have to spend a ton of money to have a wonderful wedding.

First of all, both of you should sit down and get a rough guest list.  Figure out what she's really thinking and how large is basically what I'm saying. you cant just pick a random number as your wedding budget. N 2.5m is a reasonable budget depending on how many people you are expecting aswell talk to your wife because she might be stress and confuse. let her to understand not to worry too much about what other people spend.
Good luck sha
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by didit1(m): 12:25pm On Jun 11, 2009
@ poster

You need to be patient with your wife to be , the pressure is definitely getting through to her, sit her down and gently give her the reasons why she needs to be careful with the budget and caution her on the type of friends she keeps which she definitely has to cut down sooner, i believe they are seriously adding to he pressure she is going through for the wedding plans, it happens a lot to girls especially those that keep friends a lot and maybe they know that you are the rich type and just want to take advantage, you guys need to be very careful at this stage and always plan every step of the way together.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by JJYOU: 12:30pm On Jun 11, 2009
CheeMoney:

Thanks all for ur input so for. We had a serious arguement last night & it led to her crying & that alone got me angrier. I didn't think there was any cause for her crying. She was insinuating my present actions means I'd be dictating for her what & what not to buy in the kitchen. Is that a sound judgment? Does that make me a dictator? I'm so relieved to hear from you guys that I'm on the right track. Yes every woman has a dream of a fairy tale wedding but realities has shown that most often than not, it has remained elusive for the majority due to the realities on ground. Money does not grow on trees like someone rightly said & I'd press further to know what our money is being used for, how much was spent & what balance do we have so we can channel the balance to other needs still aimed towards a successful wedding. Can you imagine her saying that her friends & cousin claimed this planning period is a time for her to make some savings which obviously will be at my expense. How am I supposed to react to this please my people. I need to know o. I want to be a great husband to my wife but I also know that money doesn't grow on trees.
bros thanks for wanting to be a great husband.  please you will get there quicker if you avoid arguments with her.  as for you being a dictator please forget that.  you are only trying to be responsible which hasnt become crime in nigeria.  there is always a life to lead after the wedding so dont get yourself into unnecesary fiinancial stress earlier on in the marriage.  wedding is only one day that is what most nigerians forget.  it is buy this and buy that or that is what is in vogue or the latest nonsence.  who says others should set your trend.

financial stress is the number reason for most marriage failures so dont go that route and dont let no one tell what you have is not enough.  how do they know what you earn? N2.5m is almost £10k.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by JJYOU: 12:46pm On Jun 11, 2009
kalmebad:

Congrats to Yaa all about to wedd
Well, don't know what it is yet to plan  or cost for a wedding, hope to be experiencing that soon


There is noting absolute wrong in knowing how the money is been spent

Most of us women are not money managers, i guess ur ability to checkmate her will help cut down her excesses

The day she starts working for her own money is the she will understand how difficult or easy it is to earn one.

Once again congrats, August a bit far  though but don't forget to post our cake here. grin



nice one but when you get the odd money expert you have a gem.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by bracelet: 1:43pm On Jun 11, 2009
Africaine:

2.5M for your white wedding alone, kai, I must make it in this lagos oh!!!

My guy,I have a wedding planner,he organized my wedding and it was simply superb and right on point,till date people still talking about the wedding and for the traditional and white we spent under 2M, he will work with your fiancee,hand in hand,protecting your interest and yet satisfying her. If u r interested ,hola.

I'm interested. Can you post his contacts.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by ubiaru(f): 1:48pm On Jun 11, 2009
you better find another girl because this one will spend your last kobo and she will have nothing to show for it.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by bracelet: 1:48pm On Jun 11, 2009
@poster

Are u sure you are getting married to the right person? undecided
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by debosky(m): 1:58pm On Jun 11, 2009
Marriage planning! cheesy

The girl is trying to use emotional blackmail by saying you will be dictating to her and crying. All these tactics are obviously being fed to her from friends. Why isn't she earning money or making her own contribution? I'm sure if she did that then there would be less of this 'bring this bring that' nonsense. angry

That said, you need to handle it sensibly - don't get into arguments and always try to explain simply to her what you mean. In doing all this, stand your ground. Let externals say what they wish, the final decision is what you and your wife to be choose to do.

Tell her to forget savings for now - you will (by God's grace) meet her financial needs when married and can open a savings account for her. Marriage is about being open - one party can't be spending money on the wedding without letting the other party know.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by Nezan(m): 2:28pm On Jun 11, 2009
Ladies are like dat, but I think 2.5mil should be okay for the wedding including her needs. Hoping to welcome you to our league soonest.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by axeman85(m): 2:41pm On Jun 11, 2009
@ africaine
 

pls can ur forward the details on your planner to me.  bvjide@yahoo.com    thanks, will really appreciate it.
Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by axeman85(m): 2:43pm On Jun 11, 2009
axeman85:

@ africaine

pls can ur forward the details on your planner to me. bvjide@yahoo.com thanks, will really appreciate it.

Re: Wedding Planning Palaver. Pls Am I Wrong? by gentlegg(m): 2:59pm On Jun 11, 2009
Mentioning 2.5M pisses me off. People who truly could spend up to such amount on wedding alone wouldn't have mentioned it in the public like you did. Anyway good luck.

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