Cheemoney, u've taken one very wrong step in a life time journey; settle ur family issues within ur bedroom.
firstly no matter what anyone says or advice here is not going to impact on ur union, positively.
u most have noticed the kind of lady u intend to get married to.
as soon as u made up ur mind to marry her u shuld be ready to put up with her character.
let me paint a picture to you of a similar scenario, a friend of mine has a girlfriend, each time she wants to use the ATM when they are 2gether, she would ask the guy to stand back i mean this were couple planing for marriage soonest.
one thing was clear from this union, she intends to be fully financial secretive but of course she's going to have full access to the guys accounts. so its either the chap is ready to deal with this situation for the rest of his life or not.
i wish u all the best in sorting our this issue with ur wife, to be

CheeMoney:

When ever she wants to go shopping for anything, I release money to her account. At the end of the day as someones wife, when she comes back while talking on how the shopping went, I expect her to say honey see how it went and so on. Example; lets say we budgeted 80k for a lace material & she got it for 50k, is it a crime for me to know? I don't know for others but it gives me a sense of belonging. Even though she spends all the money voted for that particular shopping, let me know how it was spent. Kind of a break down. Is that too much to ask? I just want to be carried along thats all.

No ur expectations are not too much. this is only reasonable, especially for someone not working yet, contributing neither her family to the wedding. it is a team thing. the idea is not trying to squeeze it all of you or save on your head because at the end of the day she is going to stay in that house with you. At most she says at the end of the day ''this is how it went, i was able to get it at a cheaper rate. i was thinking maybe we can use the remaining money to do this or that''
i am sorry but you are about to wed that sort of woman
yes that type that will play with figures to get more from you
do it to the weekly shopping and the children's needs
All the best

For those people interested in the wedding planner

Name : Novel Events Manger

Number :08028818731

if u r interested,i can forward some of my wedding 2 ue email,still havent gotten the hang of dis site, if not i wud have posted pictures

@ Cheemoney

Even if you have all the money in the world, 2.5M is still no joke. That’s why I think you are lying, about the wedding and about your Fiancée. If she really is that inconsiderate, why marry her. if you have the kind of money you claim to, why complain that she wants to help you spend it. Unless of course you are one of those money miss road stingy people, then I’d say she’s exactly what you deserve.

kablooee:

who is the girl in question? your wife to be? I personally think this is not the best place for all this. you should have known her better before now.
please respect her and stop this. 

Please consider this.

sit her down n talk 2 her,

Ujujoan:

@ Cheemoney

Even if you have all the money in the world, 2.5M is still no joke. That’s why I think you are lying, about the wedding and about your Fiancée. If she really is that inconsiderate, why marry her. if you have the kind of money you claim to, why complain that she wants to help you spend it. Unless of course you are one of those money miss road stingy people, then I’d say she’s exactly what you deserve.

Thank u Uju

@ gentlegg

Na bad belle dey worry you jare, now go suck on a rotten nipple wetin sef na ur moni

Africaine:

@ gentlegg

Na bad belle dey worry you jare, now go suck on a rotten nipple wetin sef na ur moni

How can I have bad belle on somebody I don't know? I've done my own wedding 4yrs ago and am not doing bad financially. Whether he spends 20M for the wedding, is not my concern. The price is not my fuss, but the flaunting.

I like and respect big/rich guys a lot, as am getting bigger/richer myself. But to flaunt it, I despise it.

@Poster
Sorry if you think am attacking you nor antagnostic against you. Am neither.

Na u r flaunting

U nid to stop being defensive and keep an open mind! He wasnt flaunting and even if he was,wats so wrong with dat we are allowed to indulge once in a while,so let it be.

gentlegg:

How can I have bad belle on somebody I don't know? I've done my own wedding 4yrs ago and am not doing bad financially. Whether he spends 20M for the wedding, is not my concern. The price is not my fuss, but the flaunting.

I like and respect big/rich guys a lot, as am getting bigger/richer myself. But to flaunt it, I despise it.

@Poster
Sorry if you think am attacking you nor antagnostic against you. Am neither.

hear yourself. which kind person you be? where did the guy flaunt it? why cant someone say he can afford £2.5m for a wedding? everyone here is not under 20 or 30 you must realize.

some people stopped living in room and parlour years ago and work hard for their mney so let them flaunt it if they want to if that upsets you tough luck.
the guy is not asking for no collection. wonder why someone cant talk becos some people feel poor. nawao. stop wasting your money on recharge cards and fast food maybe you can save enough too.

Ujujoan:

@ Cheemoney

Even if you have all the money in the world, 2.5M is still no joke. That’s why I think you are lying, about the wedding and about your Fiancée. If she really is that inconsiderate, why marry her. if you have the kind of money you claim to, why complain that she wants to help you spend it. Unless of course you are one of those money miss road stingy people, then I’d say she’s exactly what you deserve.

my sister some people get witch, ashewos and liars for house. not being carefull with money is low scale that can be sorted out easily. the guy only wants to know if he was right asking to know what she does with the money. that is no crime in my book.

Situations like these bring out who we TRULY are - when we are under pressure. The woman might have successfully passed on a different image before now, or he overlooked it thinking it was a temporary thing. Now she's showing her 'true colours' and he is a bit surprised.

I don't think the situation is hopeless, but she needs to be made to see reason, and Chee himself must discover a way to talk to his wife such that she understands him. It is a big challenge for them both - if they overcome their relationship will be stronger for it.

Man, this is not the time you should say this, you should have known how lavishly she spends money.
Cheers!
Let her get a job after marriage so that she will know how easy to earn money

gosh if i was a nairlander and I'm your wife
seeing this thread would be the end
really you guys should take it easy with the woman
why because you have not heard what shes got to say

maybe she feels that her husband to be does not truss her
and this will piss her off even more

@ Poster
You guys have a communication issue. You should itemise what you need to spend money on and the budget and if you save money due to good negotiation. Fine! But tell your wife to remember that after the wedding, Families and friends will go to their houses and you will be left alone, there are other things to consider.
Although i understand your wife, she is not being too emotional by crying. The is pressure on her from her family and she wants to have a good day but She has to be Wise.
It is best to have all services paid for 2 months before the wedding so you can have time to do things that crop up and you wont be under pressure.
We are getting to the wedding period and you will be surprised that a lot of event halls are booked till December.

All the best.

Preparing for a wedding can be a very stressful period for the couple. Both of you may be under stress. It's bad that she will not be contributing anything, which only makes the pressure more on you. However, the ball is in your court to make your fiancee realize that she has to be a good money manager. She is even lucky that she has a generous man to provide most of the things.

Lovingly let her know what you want and the most important thing is to work with a budget and make sure you do not exceed it. That will help.

damn it, you guys did not get the drift of my post!!!!!!!
ok, let me give you a hint,
click on the poster's username, that should take you to his profile,
click on view his latest posts.
there are 3 pages, check the three pages ans tell me what your findings are.

@poster, you didnt answer my questions:
did you meet the girl on nairaland after the 1million threads you started about looking for someone to marry?

how was the valentine party you bankrolled at the pool side of Eko hotel and suites? Which nairalander was present? mind to call names?

my conclusion: empty barrels . . .

@cooldud69
I do not intend to exchange words. However, I will not allow you pass a biased judgement on my person based on my previous posts. If you do ur checks well, you'll find out I left NL a long time ago due to mediocres like you who never believe themselves let alone someone else. As humans, we all have fantasies. Some have been lucky to live theirs while others haven't be very lucky. Mine was in the form of a wild party which I made a post here to fulleil my last bachelors wish before finally settling down. and got no response. People throw parties all the time. If it is not in you to throw such parties, don't hate people that can pls. Maybe you forgot, Nairaland is a forum where people meet to interact with each other & like every other meeting place, relationships can blossom from there. For same reason the initiator carved out a section called "Dating & Meetup Zone". When I made a post on the same zone that is supposed to be for dating, I got shelled with different kinds of arsenal. These and others culminated to my zaping. Now you are at it again. To answer your question: I did not meet my wife on NL, sorry to burst your bubble. Please stop player hating & show some love. Life is too short to waste is player hating.

you're bound to get more. aside disrespecting your wife to be, as a man i doubt the kind of husband you will be to that lady.

@all the females posters blaming the unknown woman, am sorry for you all.

@Kablooee
I don't know when it has become disrespect to seek for opinions. Yes some has done some bashing to her, those are their opinions, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd go their way of bashing. I love my woman & no amount of bashing here can change that fact. Yes we are humans & under pressure we are bound to think of several things. That doesn't mean I want to leave her. I just wanted to find out from fellow NL members who are matured & have worked this road before if I was biting too hard by trying to know how our money is being spent. I have already taken home my lesson on this thread which is "I deserve to know how our money is being spent". Thank you.

@cheemoney: nothing do you

kablooee:

you're bound to get more. aside disrespecting your wife to be, as  a man i doubt the kind of husband you will be to that lady.

@all the females posters blaming the unknown woman, am sorry for you all.

what exactly is your point? that asking for some sort of accountability where money is concerned is wrong?

slimfine:

what exactly is your point? that asking for some sort of accountability where money is concerned is wrong?

No, Bringing it to NL at this crucial time.

...

@chairCover. good question. I've got no comment/answer

@cheemoney, you are so creative, you called me cooldude69! you know i like that, i will consider that username when seun banns me next
you claim you left the forum long time because of people! I can bet my neck you have a million usernames lol
Just like kabloeee said, what kind of husband will you be even if all you are saying are even true?
for someone like you who own all you claim to have, your wife should care less about saving money from your wedding budget, even a wedding planner should handle the project.

@cheemoney, i am not hating you at all, i am pointing out your inadequacies. if you do decide to hold your party again though, contact me on 08036832482. I wanna attend with a big boy like you but pls dont include your wife in the arrangement! If you tell her to buy Moet, she might decide to buy Eva to save a little change

cooldud62*:

@cheemoney, you are so creative, you called me cooldude69! you know i like that, i will consider that username when seun banns me next
you claim you left the forum long time because of people! I can bet my neck you have a million usernames lol
Just like kabloeee said, what kind of husband will you be even if all you are saying are even true?
for someone like you who own all you claim to have, your wife should care less about saving money from your wedding budget, even a wedding planner should handle the project.

@cheemoney, i am not hating you at all, i am pointing out your inadequacies. if you do decide to hold your party again though, contact me on 08036832482. I wanna attend with a big boy like you but pls dont include your wife in the arrangement! If you tell her to buy Moet, she might decide to buy Eva to save a little change

u may wish to note that how you spend money matters a lot in your being poor or rich.
most poor spend and never save or invest . the rich save and invest some more. pls dont come up with the poor dont have to invest cos you will find most rich never had to invest at the beginning too it is always a matter of judgement, sacrifice and priorities

@ cooldud62*
dont forget the world market has crashed since his big boyz days. the man is probably worth about a third of what he was worth then. Abeg give him break.

@cheemoney

i av no idea what i can advice u about ur dilema. I make my own money and spend it prudently

She is probably attracted to u because she knows u r a big boy, if u want to caution her spending, do it the way my father used to my pocket money. If she brings back change from the market, the 'change' is hers no matter how much it is and the next time she needs money u give it to her without hassles about the 'change' she kept but chances are she will ask reasonably because u know how much 'change ' she has left anyway.

worked like a charm for my father and I

let me start by indicating that i am a woman and i think u are being very nice to want to entirely foot a budget of 2.5m. i strongly believe that ur wife to be is just being carried away with fantasies and pressure, reason is, to have a wise spending in all u do, u must make plans first of all, itemise all u'll need and then attach prices to them which would make u effectively work within ur budget.

apart from wanting to wear the best or have the best rings and the most beautiful reception, working within a said budget too is an essential thing. u need to make her understand that now, so that even when you are married, she would have more value for money.

i wish you both all the best.

My brother, there's been some wise counsel here but my concern is both of you should actually be talking to a professional marriage counsellor.

This is a lot better medium than an open domain like this, i mean this is a woman you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

Spend some time to pray together also and focus more on the reason you need to be accountable and frugal especially in this period of the crunch.

@ Poster. I think both of you from the beginning should have been involved in every tiny bits. From booking the hall to paying for the cake etc.

If possible you need to be physically there with your fiancee in getting things sorted out and paid for. Her coming back and requesting for money on a budget

is ludicrous. Sit her down and let her know that there is life after the wedding and you guys will need to survive after the big feast and party.