What was your reaction when you saw my subject line?

Well I'm not gonna waste your precious time.

I am a guy of 29 and happen to fall in love with a 32 year old babe

And I honestly want want to make her the woman of my life and mother of my children

'cos I found in her not only all that I ever wanted in a woman but a course to live for.

Infact my life revolves round her.

But guess what?

When I presented her to my people in Anambra as my choice of life partner.

Everyone starts telling the reason or reasons why I must not marry.

Some of their reasons are:

1.That she resides in Lagos

2.That she's too wise for me

3. That her eye too strong for

4. That I should marry from a well to do family that she'll not adore me 'cos her people's money

And many more silly excuses

When I looked I found a plot to bring someone for me to marry which I swore long ago won't happen and that has started a cold war.

This is about the 5 times this incidence is repeating itself and frankly speaking I am tired and fed and thinking of doing something nasty that they all regret but I'd like to have your opinions

NB:I am the only male child of my family

Tell them that you are.

1.That she resides in Lagos - residing in lagos is not a crime and that you are not allergic to Lagos babes.
2.That she's too wise for me - Tell them you are not as dumb as they assume.
3. That her eye too strong for - Tel them strong eyes is nice, cos will help you when your own eyes are weak.
4. That I should marry from a well to do family that she'll not adore me 'cos her people's money - Tell them you are a man and not a leech, and you wanna work for your own money and not feed off some rich papa and mama.

Be man enuf to tell them that all the excuses are Silly, you gonna live with the woman and not your people in the village.

Fhemmmy:

Tell them that you are.

1.That she resides in Lagos - residing in lagos is not a crime and that you are not allergic to Lagos babes.
2.That she's too wise for me - Tell them you are not as dumb as they assume.
3. That her eye too strong for - Tel them strong eyes is nice, cos will help you when your own eyes are weak.
4. That I should marry from a well to do family that she'll not adore me 'cos her people's money - Tell them you are a man and not a leech, and you wanna work for your own money and not feed off some rich papa and mama.

Be man enuf to tell them that all the excuses are Silly, you gonna live with the woman and not your people in the village.

Don't make the mistake of listening to the above,,marriage is not about being man enough,,,Do everything within ur ability to convince ur family or parents,,,it doesn't matter if it takes you time,,,but just do it,,,,Have this also in ur mind that "No man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman"
Moreover,,ur story sounds fabricated!! You said U re 29,,,what do you do for a living? How could you have taken 5 different women and they turn you down? How long did you date each of these girls b4 taking them down 2 ur parents? You don,t just pick anybody on the street and say you wanna marry,,,Lets assume its being in d last 5 years you started taking these ladies 2 ur parents,,,could it be you were 24years when U started this process?
At 24yrs,,,what have you done with ur life?what would have defined you as being able to handle a relationship talkless of marriage,,,You know what,,even if this ur story is true,,,you sound like somebody who truly needed to listen to his parents,,,you know because you made thesame mistake 5times,,,,after making a 2nd mistake,,,you should be able to know what ur parents or family wants,,,
Most people in a relationship or who re married don't even have an idea what they re into,,,,

U story seem to have a lot holes in it. Get ur story str8 and u will get help

I think he meant that his People had in the past,tried to find a woman for him.
@Poster,u are the man.If u cant stand up to ur ppl now and prove that u are a man and know whats good for u,i doubt if u wud make a good hubby to the lady cos u def. cant stand up for her even when u guys are married.
If u are very sure abt the lady,u have to convince ur ppl abt her.U are an Only son,they wud never disown u if u go ahead and marry this lady,infact IF they find out that u are actually serious,they have no choice than to accept her.

ifyalways:

I think he meant that his People had in the past,tried to find a woman for him.
@Poster,u are the man.If u cant stand up to ur ppl now and prove that u are a man and know whats good for u,i doubt if u wud make a good hubby to the lady cos u def. cant stand up for her even when u guys are married.
If u are very sure abt the lady,u have to convince ur ppl abt her.U are an Only son,they wud never disown u if u go ahead and marry this lady,infact IF they find out that u are actually serious,they have no choice than to accept her.

I agree wid u Ify, . . . . .I mean are they (Ur folks) going to find u a "novice" to spend the rest of ur life wid??

An them tell u and ur "novice" of a wife when to start having kids??

And how many kids to have??

and how to run things in ur own home??

Have they met this lady u are so much in love wid??

Have they seen her good side??

Think about it. . . .the finally decision is up to u, . . .just make sure its one u'll be able to live the rest of ur life wid!!

Thanks all for your tips

To help you guys understand better.

I am an only son of my people and right from secondary school days I have been under great pressure to get married

But one disheartening thing is that all the ladies I presented to them starting from my heart throb back then in 1999 is always rejected for one silly excuse or the other.

And since then the present lady is making them lady number 5 and frankly speaking I am fed up and considering signing the perpetual bachelorhood.

I may be 29 but I learnt back when I'm 12 that he's no a man who can't say no and mean what he said.I have learnt what 'honor' and virtue means which gave the nickname denobleman which stuck with me since my secondary school days.

And being honorable I have taking my time to talk with my parents,trying my best to let them reason with me but from the look of things it seems that the final solution will be to tell them to bring a girl of their choice(laughs)

And that reminds me,I was called home for the New Yam festival in August last year and guys could guess what happened a girl was brought by one the village women> I simply ignored them 'cos if even I'm a 3 year old boy and they want to bean-balls for me,they right to do is to ask ''junior will take bean-ball? and when I answer in the affirmative,they should ask if I am to take Ma Okey's or Ma Iyabo's.


And since then they didn't say a word about it but I have people saying that my people told them that I rejected the lady they brought.

Why should I do that?

I tire O

Treetop20:

get her pregnant!

that will be a disaster as Nigerian people dont care if belle dey or not, they still wont accept the woman nor the kid and that is not niec for the child.
So better for the dude to put her foot on the ground and make his stand known.

always risky getting involved with an "only son".

Too much wahala.

tpiah:

always risky getting involved with an "only son".

Too much wahala.

I dont blv that.
I think it is a personal thing and depends on individual.
I am the only son in my house and never been a big deal dating.

thats wat most easterners believe. if a lady lives in lagos - she's wild. if one is educated, she's too wise for u.

if u think u want this woman why wasting time man. whn they see u determination they will ve no option then to give up to those sily believes

Fhemmmy:


I dont blv that.
I think it is a personal thing and depends on individual.
I am the only son in my house and never been a big deal dating.

well, imo.

I just dont do only sons and oldest males. They are normally the apples of someone's eye and personality wise I cant be struggling over the man every other day. With his relatives. Unless he's too cool then I might give it a shot.

Youngest males are manageable but tend to be rather spoilt. Fun though.

tpiah:

well, imo.

I just dont do only sons and oldest males. They are normally the apples of someone's eye and personality wise I cant be struggling over the man every other day. With his relatives. Unless he's too cool then I might give it a shot.

Youngest males are manageable but tend to be rather spoilt. Fun though.

Oldest males are responsible, so wont that be a good thing?
I think all these depends on the individual.

Fhemmmy:

Oldest males are responsible, so wont that be a good thing?
I think all these depends on the individual.

In Nigeria, the concept of responsibility is taken to gargantuan heights.

I bow for those who date and marry oldest sons oh- its not easy, imo. But some women dont mind the challenge sha.


I think if you're easy going and an extremely social person, then oldest males are for you. But if you're not, and "selfishly" prefer to have your boyfriend all to yourself 70% of the time, maybe it wouldnt be advisable.

tpiah:

always risky getting involved with an "only son".

Too much wahala.

true that,God help u if they are Igbos.u are constantly drawn btw the mum and sisters who feels u are snatching their baby-boy from them
@Poster,all ur excuses dont hold water.If u are sure abt the lady ,go ahead and marry her,heaven wont fall,ur ppl wud fall back in line with time.

ifyalways:

true that,God help u if they are Igbos.u are constantly drawn btw the mum and sisters who feels u are snatching their baby-boy from them
@Poster,all ur excuses dont hold water.If u are sure abt the lady ,go ahead and marry her,heaven wont fall,ur ppl wud fall back in line with time.

Nothing holds me back from doing just that but the lady(wife to be) won't want to hear that

And I am not gonna marry her at gun point

ehen,dats the spirit,be a man for once 
btw,the lady dont what to hear what?that u wud marry her against ur ppls wish?dont get that line

ifyalways:

true that,God help u if they are Igbos.u are constantly drawn btw the mum and sisters who feels u are snatching their baby-boy from them
@Poster,all ur excuses dont hold water.If u are sure abt the lady ,go ahead and marry her,heaven wont fall,ur ppl wud fall back in line with time.

It all depends on the man involved.

Something "nasty" like?


I don't know about you, buddy. But I have always believed it's MY life, and I'd live it the way I think it's most appropriate - of course, without sidelining God or hurting others (if avoidable). NO ONE decides what I do with it, just as I don't expect anyone to share in the consequences of MY decisions.

Brother decide what's good for you, seek God's guidance and TAKE YOUR STAND. Remember: it's YOUR life!

she has strong eyes?

Na wa oh!

@poster

I don't see the blood dripping from your heart.

@poster, you are not yet ready for marriage if you are seeking the approval of others over your choice of a mate.

ifyalways:

ehen,dats the spirit,be a man for once 
btw,the lady dont what to hear what?that u wud marry her against ur ppls wish?dont get that line

Yeah she does not want to married against my people's wish.

She told me blankly that she needs my mum love before being married and never wants to be seen as a divider rather a unifier

I have talked and talked but she kind of remained adamant,pleading with me to understand her plight that she's a woman

u c my guy marrige is game of life that you can't be toying with. infact i must confess to you that you need to decide 'cos your so called people have little or less to do about your marriage and get this straight to yourself that you must enquire from your creator to be sure you are not led by emotions, so that you will not blame yourself at the end think deep my guy no be moin-moin matter na serious one abeg!

why must you wait for people approval on what you belief is the best for you?, well i am not saying you should disobey them, but the fact still remain that if you depend on people approval you will end up marrying someone who can destabilized your life. nobody can choose what is best for you, you are the only one who knows what is best for yourself.

Fhemmmy:

Tell them that you are.

1.That she resides in Lagos - residing in lagos is not a crime and that you are not allergic to Lagos babes.
2.That she's too wise for me - Tell them you are not as dumb as they assume.
3. That her eye too strong for - Tel them strong eyes is nice, cos will help you when your own eyes are weak.
4. That I should marry from a well to do family that she'll not adore me 'cos her people's money - Tell them you are a man and not a leech, and you wanna work for your own money and not feed off some rich papa and mama.

Be man enuf to tell them that all the excuses are Silly, you gonna live with the woman and not your people in the village.

. you are a clown

echofamozo:

. you are a clown

The points made is well taking.

I don't really see anything amusing in it.

REAL TRUTH:

Don't make the mistake of listening to the above,,marriage is not about being man enough,,,Do everything within ur ability to convince ur family or parents,,,it doesn't matter if it takes you time,,,but just do it,,,,Have this also in ur mind that "No man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman"

Moreover,,ur story sounds fabricated!! You said U re 29,,,what do you do for a living? How could you have taken 5 different women and they turn you down? How long did you date each of these girls b4 taking them down 2 ur parents? You don,t just pick anybody on the street and say you wanna marry,,,Lets assume its being in d last 5 years you started taking these ladies 2 ur parents,,,could it be you were 24years when U started this process?

At 24yrs,,,what have you done with ur life?what would have defined you as being able to handle a relationship talkless of marriage,,,You know what,,even if this ur story is true,,,you sound like somebody who truly needed to listen to his parents,,,you know because you made the same mistake 5times,,,,after making a 2nd mistake,,,you should be able to know what ur parents or family wants,,,

Most people in a relationship or who re married don't even have an idea what they re into,,,,

What are you trying to convey by these statements:

"No man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman" & "Know what your parents/family wants"

Are you trying to say that I should keep on presenting one lady after another?

What if they actually want is to arrange one?

The bible said that children should obey parents/guardians in all things.

The bible went on to say that the fear of the lord(not of parents) is the beginning of wisdom.

The bible also said that he who finds(not whom a wife is found for) found a good thing.

Why am I making that analogy?

Marriage is a divine call/institution or vocation and most not be toyed with.

The two parties entering into it are to enter into to fulfill that divine arrangement in the book Genesis where it was said let us give man a help mate.

This help mate is one that should help him/her actualise his/her purpose of being and then be able to find a dwelling with God in eternity.

I am not saying that Parents are to be discarded,NO! but they are to impose their wishes,will on their child in the guise of loving and protecting him/her while actually they are robbing him/her his/her joy as is in my case.

Let me ask this question.

Do you guys think that if Mary and Joseph has fought to shield the boy Jesus from going to Calvary.

What would have have been our faith?