Miami11:
Reminds me of an ex boyfriend that I met in college years ago,

He was villager, had no sence of clothing, wait until I picked clothing for this guy and polished him, soon he was the talk of all my friends,

Do you know after he was doing great he started saying how girls were hitting on him, on how he should be with people like so and so, and he played this until he left, I was heartbroken,

I moved on got married and such, now up to last year this idiot of a man has been bugging my family and friends looking for me, I had to leave all social networks due to his constant stalking, poster be careful, his best friend told me how pitiful he was hopeless jumping from one bad relationship to the other.

wow....i hope he finds succour....you did well by moving on....

Marxxx:
And I will pay for rent, feed, maintain my vehicle still got aged parents to carter for......seriously? I believe change comes naturally. Of my 3 siblings I am the only educated fellow. And now I have an Msc with innumerable certification. She can see things herself and if she is not emotionally smart...well thanks for your advice.

Stop bragging about your achievements please,focus on making that babe a better person,and stop pretending here as if you've got no new babe you're eyeing lately

RiloKiley:


Also how is she supposed to know the best/latest clothes to buy if she's been unexposed all her life? You r the one that is supposed to upgrade her now that you are more exposed than she is. She won't learn it automatically.

My tot exactly. U have to be patient and teach her. Start by taking her shopping and taking her out more often to places. She will soon start to adapt to her new environment.

AJaylee:
Ey bro, I understand ur plight, bt u can't just let go, she luvs u too I think, dis is d time u should hold Her more closer, tel her u want to change her to someone u wil love more, ND so u can start doin each and everything wit her, I mean. Each and everything. Dats going to take u. Much time sha, bt if u really appreciate wat she hav done in d past, it's worth doin, just an advice.

My fear is will I have to be teaching her everything? I learned the hard way but am making life comfortable for us but she is just too comfortable with things. She is not showing that craving for change....

Marxxx:
You are very funny. In due time she will start spending her money. Your posh academy is hilarious

. What I do naa? I think there's a finishing school called POSH in lagos naa.

The OP should make further enquiry. Google is a friend of all.

Marxxx:
My fear is will I have to be teaching her everything? I learned the hard way but am making life comfortable for us but she is just too comfortable with things. She is not showing that craving for change....

All your excuses aint genuine young man,why not be bold enough to speak up about your newly found love...

herboshedhe:

Stop bragging about your achievements please,focus on making that babe a better person,and stop pretending here as if you've got no new babe you're eyeing lately

I think you are getting it wrong. Brag about what or for whom? I was trying to let you know that Change comes naturally. And when you want to help others change they should have a craving an eagerness they should be enthusiastic about it. You don't approach a new idea with a lukewarm attitude. As for eyeing another lady you got me giggling. I find it extremely difficult having a conversation with a guy let alone a lady. I don't attend social events organised by the company. I attended that dinner because I was listed to receive an award if not I wouldn't attend. So cheating is something I have never thought of my whole life.

Marxxx:
I think you are getting it wrong. Brag about what or for whom? I was trying to let you know that Change comes naturally. And when you want to help others change they should have a craving an eagerness they should be enthusiastic about it. You don't approach a new idea with a lukewarm attitude. As for eyeing another lady you got me giggling. I find it extremely difficult having a conversation with a guy let alone a lady. I don't attend social events organised by the company. I attended that dinner because I was listed to receive an award if not I wouldn't attend. So cheating is something I have never thought of my whole life.

Then be patient with her!

herboshedhe:

All your excuses aint genuine young man,why not be bold enough to speak up about your newly found love...

You are very funny. You talk love like is something you just get. I am not social. And can be very unfriendly though I try to be polite. I don't know what you are talking about when you talk about love. I have not lusted or craved for an another lady before let alone infatuation or love.? You are really very funny

sandracoopert:


My tot exactly. U have to be patient and teach her. Start by taking her shopping and taking her out more often to places. She will soon start to adapt to her new environment.

That time is something I don't have. Moreover I don't know how to shop. I knew my size my staring at my clothes then I order online. I have showed her how to place orders online. My job is time intensive I am not the social type too

Marxxx check this link thats a finishing school,theres a course " how to be a lady" enrol her there.

You may even get a personal coach from there for a few days.



etiquetteconsultancy - http://www.lagosfinishingschool.com/etiquetteconsultancy.htm

@ Marxxx
I usually don't make comments on such issues but I'll make an exception in your case.

For starters, change is a constant process. Everyone evolves overtime, albeit at different rates. You will continue to evolve as you grow/prosper... so will she..Trust me... stepping up the social ladder comes with its "baggage".

One of the "most" innate yearnings of Man (and woman) especially in his (or her) later years...is someone accepting them for who they are - stripped of all trappings of wealth and class. This you have from what I've read.

On your expectation of her rate of learning/ change, you'll be disappointed if you measure her with yourself. You are driven. You desire the good life. You want to go higher. She's fine with you - whoever you become. That's another plus.

As for clothes etc, some men are actually better at picking this than women. Some women could care less. Or just aren't exposed to the "in-thing". Worse case scenario. . You shop for her.. she'll learn overtime.

As for your colleagues, trust me.. no one gives a shiiit (pardon my french). And I'm serious.. no one gives a flying f**k.

Most importantly, do what makes you happy. Think deeply about your next move cos it has serious consequences on two lives - yours and hers.

There's no one that can't be "tushed" up. It would even become a source of yabs in your later years... ie if you decide to stay with her.

Lastly, staying with her doesn't guarantee a happy/successful life neither does leaving her doom you to everlasting unhappiness.

Whichever course you choose.... may it bring happiness your way.

Marxxx:
You are very funny. You talk love like is something you just get. I am not social. And can be very unfriendly though I try to be polite. I don't know what you are talking about when you talk about love. I have not lusted or craved for an another lady before let alone infatuation or love.? You are really very funny

Prove me wrong by working on her,and post your wedding pictures here in the next 6months

Marxxx:
I don't have all the time in the world dude. That was why I bought her anything with an i. She has access to the internet 24/7. I am not the social type. I don't socialise. I purchase my clothes shoes etc online and I have taught her to do so. Should I baby sit her? Emotionally intelligence comes naturally. I work with sophisticated people when I joined I was a bush boy. But I was smart. I wasn't taught to use the photocopier or the elevator or how to scan docs. I learned so much by observing. I have spent a whole day at the office without talking and won't reply greetings. I am that weird. As for "cheating"...I don't even know what means...Mind your language...thanks

We all have different learning curves you learnt cause it was needful for your job, your babe doesn't and shouldn't feel any pressure to learn the new things you have listed. Let me say this and i may be wrong but if your mind is made up then don't look for an excuse if you are open to working it out then decided your sticking it out and be positive when you describe her and the situation.

even married people change and adapt at different rates so will you select your wife if your not comfortable with their rate of changing to your new enlightenment level.

Marxxx:
My fear is will I have to be teaching her everything? I learned the hard way but am making life comfortable for us but she is just too comfortable with things. She is not showing that craving for change....

U just av to keep teaching her bro or u Break up and regret ur actions, I'm talking from experience

herboshedhe:


Prove me wrong by working on her,and post your wedding pictures here in the next 6months

lol...yeah I may observe things till end of the year and see how it turns out....i don't even have a pix on any social site. even on Linked in, I used company's Logo....dont blame me perhaps I am archaic too

yetseyi:
Marxxx check this link thats a finishing school,theres a course " how to be a lady" enrol her there.

You may even get a personal coach from there for a few days.



etiquetteconsultancy - http://www.lagosfinishingschool.com/etiquetteconsultancy.htm

wow this is funny. Won't they make you to start acting like a program? I will research on it though thank you very much

Marxxx:
lol...yeah I may observe things till end of the year and see how it turns out....i don't even have a pix on any social site. even on Linked in, I used company's Logo....dont blame me perhaps I am archaic too

I only have a little advice for you:

We always want more. We always want better. Because of this, we often overlook the wonderful things we already have in our lives.
Never allow the things you want make you forget the things you have.

edwife:


I only have a little advice for you:

We always want more. We always want better. Because of this, we often overlook the wonderful things we already have in our lives.
Never allow the things you want make you forget the things you have.

if not because you are ed's wife and a BLUE fan i would have asked you out on a date. You have spoke with maturity

How many times have i seen this scenario in a movie..
where a guy leave the girl that was with them when they had nothing to find someone else cuz they have made money.

BLOW.
WOLF OF WALLSTREET.

Money has definately changed u. please set the girl free, dont waste her time. i hope she finds happiness again in life, a man that will apreciate her for being herself.
A man that will appreciate all the little laughs, the joy of playing with who u love whether in public or private.

You are no longer that boy she fell in love with. You own taste too have changed. u want someone refined, much more in tune with the newest facade.
You don't not have the patience to teach her nor tell her to simply stop putting crayfish in your food.
it simply means one thing: u don't love this girl anymore.
she is not what u want. why waste more time?

Say goodbye and let her be on her way. if u marry her out of pity. You will always feel bad, you will in turn treat her worse.
Life is too short to live gloomy, depressed and unsatisfied with a wrong spousal choice.

The idea of paying her off looks very insultive to me. what are u paying for exactly?

****
U might be loosing the one person who genuinely love u the most in thos world. I hope like all those movies i saw, u dont regret it.

i wish u goodluck man.
cheers

Marxxx, I understand your angst but it's just really shallow. This woman has history with you, you guys have priceless, irreplacable memories and you want to throw all that away because she is bush? Your comments have only shown how shallow you are. Perhaps, you never really loved her to begin with. I'm sure if you did, you would do everything in your power to polish her. Paying her off would be an insult to her love and her sacrifices over the years. She helped pay for your project, got you a good place to serve among other things and this is the thanks she gets?
Imagine if roles were reversed, you'd be singing these hoes ain't loyal. Yet, here you are with no real values and no loyalty. Even you are not yet sophisticated, you never ja. You seem to be embarrassed at how bush she appears to others, but really who gives a fùck. Bottom line is she loves you, you love her. Period.

You wey sabi, you could have got those clothes for her or shown her where to get them. All those well-dressed women you seem to admire these days, you think they dropped from heaven with the innate ability to identify fashionable apparel? We all learn these things and it seems you are poor teacher with little patience.

You should be her guide and mentor, instead you want city oloshos to teach you a lesson of a lifetime. Sorry will be your name. When olosho finish with you, you go know say you sef just dey learn work.

God has given you what billions of men worldwide are desperate for, and you want to throw it away over flimsy reasons. You deserve a flurry of slaps to revert you to factory settings. I think one olsho has rooted you and been fiddling with your software abi?

If you know what's good for you, you'll hold on to this babe with everything you've got. If you like ignore good advice and be dashing your money to girls that will use 10 cubes of knorr for one cup of rice na you sabi.

You see why many women find it hard to suffer with a man these days the minute most men make money they go for an upgrade, the same type of girls that would never have given them a 2nd look when they were struggling. Later they will be asking why there are many gold diggers yet you guys keep rewarding gold diggers over the suffer with her man kind of girl

@Marxxx:

Sit your babe down and tell her what you want from her.. Also give her an ultimatum (best within you so she doesn't fake the change) and if she has not 'transformed' to your taste, let her go.

As much as you both getting married would seem the best deal; marrying her when you feel she is a constant embarrassment is a recipe for a marriage filled with bitterness and hatred. You are even an introverted choleric...

A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage

She would cry for a while if you end the relationship; she might cry forever if you marry her out of duty.

Marriage is just a means to an end.

Marxxx:
You are very funny. You talk love like is something you just get. I am not social. And can be very unfriendly though I try to be polite. I don't know what you are talking about when you talk about love. I have not lusted or craved for an another lady before let alone infatuation or love.? You are really very funny

So what do you want us to tell you?
You seem to disagree with anyone who tells you to try working with her to suit your taste.

Oya leave her make we hear word.

BTW crayfish tastes good in concoction jollof rice in case you don't know. sue me.

If eating those things reminds you of the poor life you're trying to leave behind then you haven't seen anything yet.

You think poshness is achieved by eating sushi, filet mignon or caviar? Don't worry You'll reach a level of poshness that bushmeat and palm wine will turn around to become a luxury once again.

You want those Instagram babes with over-bleached skin and spoilt brat personas.

Of course you'll say no but you stand against anyone telling you to be patient with this girl or telling you how to go about it.
So maybe you want to hear folks tell you to leave her. Na you sabi.

Follow your heart then. It's obviously not with this babe anymore. You can't force harmony. Most things about her will piss you off now. And if you marry her the way she is, you'll find reason to justify cheating on her with posher ones.

P.S if you want to break up with her, settle her like you intend to.
It may seem belittling at first but eventually she'll overcome the indignation and find use for the money.

you are a lucky man! it is better to be having those kind of embarrassment than the well exposed ladies you so desire that will finish you financially or battle with you over your income, my uncle relocated his local wife to Eket when he got a job with mobil, something happened and he lost the job after 7 years, it was the local lady who sustained the family for almost two years before he landed another job with Harliburton in PH, he was stunned by the amount of money the woman has saved when the going was good from cloth and shoes money, she traveled to lagos bought textile materials like Aso oke, Adire and Campala and she started selling to people who already know her with her attitute , you know PH pricing, she was even the one who went to knee down for a woman in their church which made her husband to get the new Job! can the well exposed lady that is busy raising shoulder with others in the church humble herself that way? can she do that when shes busy driving the latest ride in town? my dear the lady you have now is the kind of woman who will support you in any kind of condition , you are lucky shes even educated, see, don't end up in a money driven marriage, don't fall a victim, the best thing you can do is to enroll her in a school in Lagos where she will be rolling with classic people, either for a certificate course or diploma , that will polish her as your job changed you too, you are only feeling this way because you got the exposure before her, what if it happened the other way round?
am sure she will get over it in a little while! when my uncle enrolled his wife in school , her course mates were laughing at her, but when they realized shes a big woman , they became friend with her, teaching her how to dress, trending fashion and all that, her children love her so much, they now watch Telemundo together !

I understand what you are talking about; class does not matter, try to upgrade her. I am a victim of this and I am still regretting it

Marxxx:
I don't have all the time in the world dude. That was why I bought her anything with an i. She has access to the internet 24/7. I am not the social type. I don't socialise. I purchase my clothes shoes etc online and I have taught her to do so. Should I baby sit her? Emotionally intelligence comes naturally. I work with sophisticated people when I joined I was a bush boy. But I was smart. I wasn't taught to use the photocopier or the elevator or how to scan docs. I learned so much by observing. I have spent a whole day at the office without talking and won't reply greetings. I am that weird. As for "cheating"...I don't even know what means...Mind your language...thanks

I I I I I . . . So so selfish!

Yes change is constant, but she fell in love with the old you. Now you have become so slfish and entitled because you made it. And she now h's to put up with your crap.

You will soon learn. No need to waste mb talking to you.

There are quite a lot of women like that unlike the way we are made to believe they are rare.
The problem is guys will always want the fake hair, fake eyelashes, waist trainer girls.
Then turn around and complain about how their hoe's ain't loyal.

Also the incessant complains that after suffering with a guy they tend to leave and go for supposedly better ladies came about for a reason. It means a lot of women have experienced it.

leisuretym:
you are a lucky man! it is better to be having those kind of embarrassment than the well exposed ladies you so desire that will finish you financially or battle with you over your income, my uncle relocated his local wife to Eket when he got a job with mobil, something happened and he lost the job after 7 years, it was the local lady who sustained the family for almost two years before he landed another job with Harliburton in PH, he was stunned by the amount of money the woman has saved when the going was good from cloth and shoes money, she traveled to lagos bought textile materials like Aso oke, Adire and Campala and she started selling to people who already know her with her attitute , you know PH pricing, she was even the one who went to knee down for a woman in their church which made her husband to get the new Job! can the well exposed lady that is busy raising shoulder with others in the church humble herself that way? can she do that when shes busy driving the latest ride in town? my dear the lady you have now is the kind of woman who will support you in any kind of condition , you are lucky shes even educated, see, don't end up in a money driven marriage, don't fall a victim, the best thing you can do is to enroll her in a school in Lagos where she will be rolling with classic people, either for a certificate course or diploma , that will polish her as your job changed you too, you are only feeling this way because you got the exposure before her, what if it happened the other way round?
am sure she will get over it in a little while! when my uncle enrolled his wife in school , her course mates were laughing at her, but when they realized shes a big woman , they became friend with her, teaching her how to dress, trending fashion and all that, her children love her so much, they now watch Telemundo together !

This OP sef,
And what stops you from getting the sophisticated materials by yourself?
We humans most times can't differentiate our wants from our needs.
You want her to get rid of all the things that made you love her so you can come back here and complain again that your babe is now too extravagant?
All the things you complained here are all temporal things that can't even keep a relationship not to talk of marriage. A woman that keeps herself real around you is what you want to pay off and get the one with fake human hair & fake nails?
The sooner you start planning ur marriage with her the better for you.
From what you wrote, the only reasons you are getting tired is because she is not fake.
OP please get sense na please & please

Some comments here sef dey turn my belle.
People are telling OP to change her, give her time as if she is an illiterate. This someone that graduated before you & even got a job for herself after graduation & she is still working. How else do you define smartness? All OP needs is to spend more time with her believe me, this babe will be more sophisticated than OP can ever imagined. But don't come here again to complain how she has been extravagant.
Person see wife wan leave her for olosho. OP prefer eating processed sugar to bushmeat & Palm wine & jellof rice with crayfish.
Who is even more enlightened between the two of you?

Marxxx:
wow this is funny. Won't they make you to start acting like a program? I will research on it though thank you very much

Oh, you don't want her to be acting like a programmed Robot, yet you don't want her to be herself.
Na wa for you o