Chidoks:

"You wanted to turn him into your ATM machine" is not suggestive. It's an accusation and her narrative didn't suggest that.
As for your other questions let's forget about them, I'm not good at digging up unnecessary issues

OK accusation u say and she defended herself. Accusations aren't offensive. It's left for the receiver to defend themselv or not. Look chidoks, on a very normal day I would hav ignored you but I deemed it necessary o clear out some issues with respect to the way people perceive things here in social media. I really don't mean any harm to anyone here and no matter what your perceptions abt me in social media are, it still will not change who I am in reality

Nobody is entitled to anyone's help. Women hardly help men and men do not whine about women being stingy and mean. Why do women think they deserve help without rendering a service in return? If you cannot show corresponding goodwill kindly try the next man.

Granted, you saved him some money, but how does he know that wasn't an elaborate scheme concocted by you and your friend?

Timbuktou:
Nobody is entitled to anyone's help. Women hardly help men and men do not about women being stingy and mean. Why do women think they deserve help without rendering a service in return? If you cannot show corresponding goodwill kindly try the next man.

Granted, you saved him some money, but how does he know that wasn't an elaborate scheme concocted by you and your friend?

just a very good question.

I got the OP's message. It's never a wrong thing to ask for help from the male folks. Though, all men are not the same, but what she is trying to say is that Some of the men doing this should be matured and upright. What's the Big deal in rendering assistance (mostly ladies) without any wrong motive, selfishness or self-centeredness.
#Think before you act.

Timbuktou:
Nobody is entitled to anyone's help. Women hardly help men and men do not whine about women being stingy and mean. Why do women think they deserve help without rendering a service in return? If you cannot show corresponding goodwill kindly try the next man.

Granted, you saved him some money, but how does he know that wasn't an elaborate scheme concocted by you and your friend?

If it was an elaborated scheme to eat his money then why did I turned him down? Some Men are wolves in sheep clothing, they take advantage of vulnerable women to swim in their selfish pleasures. So are you in opinion that goodwill should be exchange for favour?

Olasco93:
I got the OP message. It's never a wrong thing to ask for help from the male folks. Though, all men are not the same, but what she is trying to say is that Some of these men should be matured for once. What's the Big deal in rendering assistance (mostly ladies) without any wrong motive, selfishness or self-centeredness.
#Think before you act.

May God bless you for this my dear, what's wrong in just helping without requesting for favours back?

Ginaz:
I remembered when I was looking and running up and down for money to pay for my project, I won't lie things were hard at home. I happened to run against a man on my way coming from the market. He initiated a conversation, me being the friendly type I joined in. He gave me his card, I got home and not clearly being interested gave his card to my friend. My friend conspired to dupe this man of his money to which I was clearly against.

I called him that morning not to transfer any money to any bank( he was at the bank when I called ready to transfer 30,000 naira to my friend's account). He was grateful to me and readily requested I asked a favour anytime from him. He offered to send me 20,000 to sort out my project wahala but there was a catch. I should date him!

I was furious and more than disappointed, whatever happens to just helping a fellow being? I've been in this situation more than thrice, why do men behave pervertly ? This happens everyday, they give you money in exchange for your body, can't they help without taking advantage of the situation?

I'm sick and tired of this, why won't they help from their heart? This got me thinking men in power to help are perverts. I know a lot of women are suffering and destroying their lives cos of this

What exactly was in your mind when you gave a total stranger's call card to your friend?

His perception about you changed when your so called friemd tried swindling him of his money.
Most times we believe friends acts in agreement

richyblink1:


What exactly was in your mind when you gave a total stranger's call card to your friend?

His perception about you changed when your so called friemd tried swindling him of his money.
Most times we believe friends acts in agreement

Na lie oo nothing like perception. I helped a man get accommodation for a night once, because he told a pathetic story of how he had to overspend money and now dont have enough money to get a place for the night cos he didnt know his journey will turn out the way it did. and he turned around and said "I am really grateful for this. if it not for you i wld not have a place to sleep this night.you know what I would like to repay you, be my girl" as if he was doing me a favour, and this was a married man...or maybe he taught i helped him because of the story he told me of how he is actually a millionaire during the day but broke at night cos dats all i heard in his story ...anyway perception or not, men dont just help women anymore.

xendra:

Na lie oo nothing like perception. I helped a man get accommodation for a night once, because he told a pathetic story of how he had to overspend money and now dont have enough money to get a place for the night cos he didnt know his journey will turn out the way it did. and he turned around and said "I am really grateful for this. if it not for you i wld not have a place to sleep this night.you know what I would like to repay you, be my girl" as if he was doing me a favour, and this was a married man...or maybe he taught i helped him because of the story he told me of how he is actually a millionaire during the day but broke at night cos dats all i heard in his story ...anyway perception or not, men dont just help women anymore.

When you say "men don't just help women anymore" are you implying that you have had encounter with every single man out there?

Cutehector:
OK accusation u say and she defended herself. Accusations aren't offensive. It's left for the receiver to defend themselv or not. Look chidoks, on a very normal day I would hav ignored you but I deemed it necessary o clear out some issues with respect to the way people perceive things here in social media. I really don't mean any harm to anyone here and no matter what your perceptions abt me in social media are, it still will not change who I am in reality

Noted! One thing is clear though, most of us have multiple identities ; some for faceless forums like nairaland, and others for our everyday life. The big question is if we ever pause to consider the effects of our actions/speech on others.
You're absolutely right, how I perceive you is inconsequential.

Chidoks:

Noted! One thing is clear though, most of us have multiple identities ; some for faceless forums like nairaland, and others for our everyday life. The big question is if we ever pause to consider the effects of our actions/speech on others.
You're absolutely right, how I perceive you is inconsequential.

nairaland isn't a faceless forum, it's just the users who are tag it that way. Seun did not create nairaland to be faceless. Even his picture is showing!

No matter how civil you are in your comments, people will always be human beings.. if u should read the op's thread from the beginning, you can clearly see that the only person who was dishing out vulgar words was the op herself. So u should be directed the bolded to her.

I hardly engage in e brawl with people here online unless such person(s) deserve such.

Ginaz:


If it was an elaborated scheme to eat his money then why did I turned him down?

Some Men are wolves in sheep clothing, they take advantage of vulnerable women to swim in their selfish pleasures.

So are you in opinion that goodwill should be exchange for favour?

But he doesn't know that, does he?

The rest of your post is basically preaching to the choir.

I'm of the opinion that shìt happens and I know for a fact that nothing goes for nothing generally.

Timbuktou:


But he doesn't know that, does he?

The rest of your post is basically preaching to the choir.

I'm of the opinion that shìt happens and I know for a fact that nothing goes for nothing generally.

That's what is wrong with this generation, nothing goes for nothing.

Cutehector:
well u need to stop depending on men... if u need smth, u ask ur father or work for d money, so all these would stop.

Can u honestly say you've never asked anyone for help apart from ur parents?

Ginaz:


I wasn't turning no one into any ATM, at least if I wanted to I would have allowed my friend eat his money. He offered Me a help, not the other way round

Yea, he offered to help after u painted him ur gloom story.
Guy u just met, u already told ur life's history.....what happened to decency?
If he had sent the money, it wud hv been d beginning of many more.....n since he aint getting any, hence the maga term

Joy1706:

Can u honestly say you've never asked anyone for help apart from ur parents?

U just meet random people n ask for stuffs Huh? Puleez

Joy1706:

Can u honestly say you've never asked anyone for help apart from ur parents?

i"m currently employed darling.

Do I look like someone dats dependent?

ladies should just for Bleep sake stop thinking they deserve anything from an independent man.
like someone said, do you see men running around crying "this random lady who has nothing to benefit from me said I should do this before she helps me "?
and even if it happens it is almost 'not existing.

The problem is with some women have cultivated the habit of depending on men for their every needs and with some assuming a false sense of entitlement on a man's money.

There are some ladies who thinks it's their birth right to ask a guy for money and have no shame while doing so. And the funny thing is that they have no chumminess and rapport existing between them before begging for money from these 'Samaritan' men.

Based on your narrative, there was no friendship and goodwill between you and this man but you already besieged him with your problems. Why not relax until you've developed a strong friendship before besetting him with your personal issues?

The demand was too speedy and he may have thought you're also trying to take advantage of him. Thus wanted some quick hanky-panky to compensate for his kind gesture.

The growing false sense of entitlement of some women and unceasing dependence on men for their needs has even made it difficult to render any assistance to women lately. Especially the tone in which they use in making their request.

And I'm wondering why it's easier for women to beg a guy for money than their fellow women? It's not in men' habit to beg for money from women but from fellow guys so why should women be different?

You ask a man you dont know for financial favours

A man asks a girl he doesnt know for sexual favors

Tit for tat no cheating

Next time dont ask any a man not your relation sor money

HARDDON:


Yea, he offered to help after u painted him ur gloom story.
Guy u just met, u already told ur life's history.....what happened to decency?
If he had sent the money, it wud hv been d beginning of many more.....n since he aint getting any, hence the maga term

I didn't tell him any life story, he offered on his own

the last time i offered financial help to a girl, it didn't go well... this time, even your body, i don't want.. just carry your body dey go.

ronald4lif:
The problem is with some women have cultivated the habit of depending on men for their every needs and with some assuming a false sense of entitlement on a man's money.

There are some ladies who thinks it's their birth right to ask a guy for money and have no shame while doing so. And the funny thing is that they have no chumminess and rapport existing between them before begging for money from these 'Samaritan' men.

Based on your narrative, there was no friendship and goodwill between you and this man but you already besieged him with your problems. Why not relax until you've developed a strong friendship before besetting him with your personal issues?

The demand was too speedy and he may have thought you're also trying to take advantage of him. Thus wanted some quick hanky-panky to compensate for his kind gesture.

The growing false sense of entitlement of some women and unceasing dependence on men for their needs has even made it difficult to render any assistance to women lately. Especially the tone in which they use in making their request.

And I'm wondering why it's easier for women to beg a guy for money than their fellow women? It's not in men' habit to beg for money from women but from fellow guys so why should women be different?

First of all, I didn't beg and until you understand this phrase you will misquote everything. He bluntly told me in no terms that he wants to help in anyway he can. I never opened my mouth to ask him for money please.....I've got myself some respects. This man is just egocentric like all other men out there, they use their money as bait to entice and trick women into sexual acts. But cos you're so quick to judge you can't see that.

they scheme plans to entice. They are countless of women in positions like this, men will come in disguise of bringing a helping hand only to say something else. Ain't we just human being depending on God for favours? This is no gender discrimination here, what's wrong in lending a helping hand to your fellow human being? This is not a issue of birthright and can never be! Is never a birthright to eats someone's hard earned money. Is not a birghtright for the men gender to render a help and expect sexual favour either.

Ya..it is not advisable to ask or collect money or any kind gift that is not warranted for from a man you are not in a serious relationship with..becos thier ways are not always pure...that is life..nothing goes for nothing especially when you are dealing with the male counterpart..i was to brought be independent and managed the little i have. So i depend on my hard work to cater for myself and my needs.the last person to seek for help from is from a man...i would rather run around my family to get whatever i need, that is if that thing is urgent and necessary..But most of the time, i usually save from my hard earn cash to do my things, take myself out , pay for what ever i need to do.and raise my head up where ever i go in confidence..I have never used a phone bought by a man before..right from my university days..this is becos i hate begging...and asking for things that will be used against me.My boyfriend only send me gift when he feels like but i dont ask....I have always paid for all my things..This is to avoid situation like this.So girls..try and work hard for your money to pay your bills and no man can disrespect your womanhood.

How can you tell a stranger your problems bearly 24 hours after the first meeting. The day we start to have some self esteem is the day we would earn anyone's respect.

egopersonified:
How can you tell a stranger your problems bearly 24 hours after the first meeting. The day we start to have some self esteem is the day we would earn anyone's respect.

Please and WHO said I DID miss?

You didnt ask him for money, yet you told him(a total stranger) the challenge you had, hence, he decided to give you 20t (according to your first post) to sort out your project. Here you are, crying fowl cos he wants sex.




Begging in disguise is still begging.

Where is your self esteem?

*sighs*

Ginaz:

That's what is wrong with this generation, nothing goes for nothing.

It is what it is.

Cutehector:
offensive? I can't recall making offensive statements here.. please kindly notify me of any offensive statements I made please.

And what issues ar u referring to?

are you a learner?

perhaps you resemble the lady's ex.

tpiar:


are you a learner?

perhaps you resemble the lady's ex.

shut ur trash

Cutehector:
shut my trash

i guess the op has the right approach to you!

tpiar:



i guess the op has the right approach to you!

mchew... stvpid.