author=EnlightenedSoul post=43835868]

Alright, how about we put aside, for just a moment, people we dont know personally (celebrities), the absent, the deceased, God/Jesus, and 'objects' like the moon. How about everyone else? Do you disagree that most every relationship out there requires an investment of time and effort?

Well I don't do relationships that require effort but many people believe that relationships entail effort. It is irrelevant, in this context, however, because we are discussing the feeling of love and not what relationships require. You can love a person without being in a relationships with them. It is possible.

It isn't enough. In fact, it's worse. You get the good feelings either way. But, in this case, it's only when your feelings are good that they actually even matter, because those "other people" clearly have no regard for how their negative behavior affects you/others. Unfortunately, I'm not a robot to feel and unfeel at will. Really, It'd be dope if I could. And when they finally come out with that pill, I'll be the first in line. Robot efficiency is the way of the future

The good feelings are the feelings that matter? Most people pay more attention to their negative feelings.
You don't need a pill to feel good and you don't need to be a robot. How you feel depends on how you think.
Two people can look at the same situation in two different ways.

This is a very interesting view. Imagine we're close friends. Let's say we get into an giant argument one afternoon, and I hurl terrible insults at you, words that offend you deeply. You're saying that it would be wrong for you to find fault in my behavior? That you would not blame me for using such words against you, but blame yourself for being offended, essentially, for feeling? Or, are you saying that you wouldn't feel offended in the first place, because you'd choose not to be offended. Please clarify.

Of course, I would feel hurt in this moment. I am a human being and I don't see how it would serve me to ignore my emotions BUT I would make the choice not to linger in this feeling by not paying too much attention to what you have said. I wouldn't replay the situation over and over in my mind. I would distract myself and I would pay more attention to the nice memories I have with you. I would pay more attention to what makes me feel good by either ignoring you / distracting myself or by remembering all the good things you have done for me, the good time we had. Your thoughts determine how you fee so choose wisely.

How does this tie into the concept of unconditional love. To embrace the new phase properly, they'd eventually have to let go of their ex.

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You can love someone and still let go of the relationship. Anything wrong with loving people? Remember, it is an unlimited resource.

Mindfulness:


Well I don't do relationships that require effort but many people believe that relationships entail effort. It is irrelevant, in this context, however, because we are discussing the feeling of love and not what relationships require. You can love a person without being in a relationships with them. It is possible.

When I say effort, I don't mean impossible hurdles. Effort of some kind is typical of any relationship. What do you do differently?

Yh, that's called unrequited love?

The good feelings are the feelings that matter? Most people pay more attention to their negative feelings.
You don't need a pill to feel good and you don't need to be a robot. How you feel depends on how you think.
Two people can look at the same situation in two different ways.

Of course, I would feel hurt in this moment. I am a human being and I don't see how it would serve me to ignore my emotions BUT I would make the choice not to linger in this feeling by not paying too much attention to what you have said. I wouldn't replay the situation over and over in my mind. I would distract myself and I would pay more attention to the nice memories I have with you. I would pay more attention to what makes me feel good by either ignoring you / distracting myself or by remembering all the good things you have done for me, the good time we had. Your thoughts determine how you fee so choose wisely.

They both matter (bad and good feelings), tho. Listen, I'm not even a particularly feely person, and when I do go through some issue or other, I like to process things on my own, alone. But, this seems to me detrimentally dismissive.

If I were your friend, I wouldn't deliberately hurt you so much that you're habitually masking over your feelings like that. And I would expect you to hold me accountable if I ever did. You can blame me for my own misdeeds, ya know? I think you should have standards for the people you surround yourself with.

You can love someone and still let go of the relationship. Anything wrong with loving people? Remember, it is an unlimited resource.

How OK would you be with being in love with someone who's still stuck on someone from their past? Curious, 'cuz, IMO I've found people get defensive and hurt if the person is dead, so I can't imagine what goes on when the person's alive and well.

EnlightenedSoul:


When I say effort, I don't mean impossible hurdles. Effort of some kind is typical of any relationship. What do you do differently?

I have fun.

Yh, that's called unrequited love?

Says who?

They both matter (bad and good feelings), tho. Listen, I'm not even a particularly feely person, and when I do go through some issue or other, I like to process things on my own, alone. But, this seems to me detrimentally dismissive.

It is en vogue to say that one is not feely, isn't it?

If I were your friend, I wouldn't deliberately hurt you so much that you're habitually masking over your feelings like that. And I would expect you to hold me accountable if I ever did. You can blame me for my own misdeeds, ya know? I think you should have standards for the people you surround yourself with.

How did the habitually enter the discussion here?
If you hurt my feelings and I decided to keep you in good memory, would it mean that I would allow you to habitually hurt me?
I may even decide to keep you out of my life and love you nonetheless. What most of you still do not get is that love is a feeling and loving someone does not mean that you have to be in a relationship with them or that you have to remain friends no matter what. You need to distinguish between feelings and actions. What I do emotionally, I do it for myself. My emotions affect me in the very first place.

And how is choosing how I feel the same as masking over my feelings?
I don't think you are in the position to tell me what standards I need to set for the people in my life. And I don't see how remaining in the state of blame would serve me.

How OK would you be with being in love with someone who's still stuck on someone from their past? Curious, 'cuz, IMO I've found people get defensive and hurt if the person is dead, so I can't imagine what goes on when the person's alive and well.

Let me answer the question with a question:
Why does someone's love for someone else affect how much you love or don't love them?

Mindfulness:


I have fun.

Says who?

It is en vogue to say that one is not feely, isn't it?

How did the habitually enter the discussion here?
If you hurt my feelings and I decided to keep you in good memory, would it mean that I would allow you to habitually hurt me?
I may even decide to keep you out of my life and love you nonetheless. What most of you still do not get is that love is a feeling and loving someone does not mean that you have to be in a relationship with them or that you have to remain friends no matter what. You need to distinguish between feelings and actions. What I do emotionally, I do it for myself. My emotions affect me in the very first place.

And how is choosing how I feel the same as masking over my feelings?
I don't think you are in the position to tell me what standards I need to set for the people in my life. And I don't see how remaining in the state of blame would serve me.

Very well. It makes no sense to me whatsoever, but as you were, and as you wish, always. I'd argue that it's actually en vogue to be feely nowadays, but I won't fight you on that. In any case, you're free to believe my express description of myself, or dismiss it as you will.

Let me answer the question with a question:
Why does someone's love for someone else affect how much you love or don't love them?

I'd agree with you here. But, from what I've gathered, it's more to do with their own perception of where they stand with you in relation to the love, or supposed love, you have/had for another, not a questioning of the extent of their own love for you.

MizMyColi:


Good evening Sweeteee Sis

I saw the thread earlier, and didn't post a reply, because I wanted to be sure that when I allude to being an unconditional lover; it'd be nothing short of the truth.

I can. I do love unconditionally.
Especially to folks who aren't related by blood.

I have found though that it is not a "feat" one can achieve when tuned to a particular frequency/vibration.

For you to be a true unconditional lover, you must ascend, you must be renewed. One must Rise Above.

When people say true love don't exist, I think they are being truthful because, usually, at the frequency we operate, LOVE is a tad alien. It is usually tit for tat. While I agree that there's love in "tit for tat" I'm of the opinion that it is a tainted form.

To practice true love in its realest form, you must become God.
Not "Like God" Not "A God" but BE God.

Looking at the text above alone could make one feel heretic, but sometimes, in order to handle certain relational issues well, we need to become God.

So I declared today in my place of meditation...
"There is no distinction between my humanity and Divinity. I am God. Therefore I am incapable of bitterness, of hate and every form of negativity.
I breath love, I breath grace, and everything that is worthy and lovely to my world.
I have the capacity to be and be being...

These words transformed my day. Being human, I lived my God essence today, and it only gets better from here on

'there is no distinction between ur humanity and divinity' and u are equally a god?

I don't know how I stumbled across ur name and started following you. Most of the post shared with me which I hardly or seldomly read is often atimes linked to MizMyColi. I have noticed some compliment, accolades and more especially ingenuity in your posts, but that post above is one I couldn't ignore.

Though I hardly visit romance section but Would love to pay more attention to ur future post and the personality u are, or about to become. It's rare to become what you've become without the infilling of the spirit of God.

I will equally send u a PM if u don't mind.
Remain divinely inspired.

Mindfulness:


I think some do.

Don't you think it is mental illness, in that, it is self-destructive?

I personally believe unconditional love is impossible. Humans are creatures of will, feelings and desires. They have limitations and have no capabilities that are ABSOLUTE in their effect. There'll always come a point when a person snaps and gives it up, unless such a person is no longer a mentally healthy creature, and is now a lunatic, with their psyche irredeemably fücked up!

Unconditional love is impossible.

---

Tozara

strenghtofawoman:
I loved my hubby unconditionally , but my love was taken for granted, I loved too much, cared too much, forgave too easily..I made him a priority in my life, but after going through pregnancy and child bearing , I have to take back my love. His attitude towards me only shows he doesn't need it. I v learnt my lesson, I don't think I will ever love him again unconditionally....

This simply shows that you NEVER loved him unconditionally.

It is impossible for you to love anyone unconditionally. No matter how powerful, deep and strong your love is, there's something that CAN kill it, because you're human, and cannever be anything else.

---

Tozara

Daeylar
Tahra
lovelygurl
RaggedyAnn
DarkRebel69

What are your thoughts on unconditional love, and how POSSIBLE do you think it is?

My love is conditional, you have to treat me well also,
Even God's love is conditional, you have to follow all his rules if not you are thrown into the lake of fire,I don't know about any other person, I don't think love is meant to be unconditional,

anyone who loves unconditionally no matter how he or she is being treated in return has no self esteem and is being abused.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah

Daeylar:
My love is conditional, you have to treat me well also,
Even God's love is conditional, you have to follow all his rules if not you are thrown into the lake of fire,I don't know about any other person, I don't think love is meant to be unconditional,

anyone who loves unconditionally no matter how he or she is being treated in return has no self esteem and is being abused.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah

Exactly. As a mentally healthy creature that values its own inner thymos and will to power, unconditional love is impossible. Unless the person putting forward the idea is having an "undefined definition" of love they're not telling us.

---

Tozara

Only myself!

For ALL others, BOTH THE LOVE AND THE CONDITIONS are subject to CHANGE!

Do the people not change?
Do I NOT CHANGE?
Does LOVE not change?
Do CONDITIONS NOT CHANGE?

IF YOUR GODS LOVED YOU UNCONDITIONALLY, THEY WOULD NEVER ASK YOU TO REPENT OR SEND YOU PASTORS OR PROPHETS!

I don't even love myself unconditionally.

issa struggle