teddybear007:


Should we all go back into those days jst to prove our worth. Gone are the days wen wife to be spends 7 days with her would be mother in law jst to prove her worthy of her son or for her to assess. Why putting her on spot? Or judge her character by giving her clothes to wash? Are there no other ways of judging character? We jst like to test people thinking they are JOB mentioned in d bible. Gracias.

No we need not go back to the old days. I cited that to remind us of our culture as Africans. Forget the western civilization thingy.

You must realize that mothers in their protective nature want what's best for their children. When a young man is in love, more often than not, he closes his eyes to certain behaviors of his partner. Some women have even perfected the art of pretending and covering things up just to get married. After the wedding, out comes the true character and simple things as who does what at home becomes an issue.

Just like seasoned HR managers can determine within minutes if a candidate would be an asset to their company or not, most mothers can tell with about 90% accuracy if the lady their son brings home would make a good spouse or not.

Allwility:


No we need not go back to the old days. I cited that to remind us of our culture as Africans. Forget the western civilization thingy.

You must realize that mothers in their protective nature want what's best for their children. When a young man is in love, more often than not, he closes his eyes to certain behaviors of his partner. Some women have even perfected the art of pretending and covering things up just to get married. After the wedding, out comes the true character and simple things as who does what at home becomes an issue.

Just like seasoned HR managers can determine within minutes if a candidate would be an asset to their company or not, most mothers can tell with about 90% accuracy if the lady their son brings home would make a good spouse or not.

Thanks for ur nice response. Welcome to my world. Gracias.

reverse is my case. ive never washed for my mother inlaw. she washes for me wnever she visits. she loves me like her daughter, besides im her daughter as my husband is her only child. she is the only one i complain to whenever we have issues and u wont believe it, she never supports her son. shes always on my side. im so blessed to have someone like her and i wil forever Love her like i love my mum.

aforti:
.


Na your type of people them they use do rag for marriage. Op's mother is meeting you for the first time. She no offer you food as a mother would to to a child Na cloths she go bring out for you to wash as if Na house girl skills them want access and you are saying u will wash it. If you go visit your mama from a distance after you have not seen her for a while and nxt thing she just go bring pit cloths for you to wash you no go vex? This is the first characteristic of a desperado, aka fake ppl, doing things you would not normally do just to please people.

Laugh wan tire my belle

SANDOSKI:


Story.... Marriage is the one last thing going through my head now. I'm still in my early 20' so don't judge me with my quote... Maturity is not all about age.....

Please refer to my post on


https://www.nairaland.com/2998851/wooing-challenge-2016-selection-thread/24

Lols @ topic.

Wouldn't wash

Again, might wash

And end the relationship depending on the guy's reaction

No sane woman would make such a demand.
And no self respecting girl would indulge her.

I will tell her politely that I am not prepared to wash for her at the moment,maybe next time,but there will not be a next time. Those type of mother in laws smell of trouble,they will never give you a breathing space once you eventually get married to their son.

Izzy002:
You brought your Girlfriend to your family house to see and meet with your mum..

After interacting for a while with your mum, your mum then goes into her room and brings out her piles of dirty clothes for your girlfriend to wash.

Guys, what would you do if you were confronted with this situation?

Ladies, what are you going to do if you find yourself in this situation?
Wash it or not?

Be sincere. No forming. No pretending.

On the first day? I will do it if her son has no hands, if he does, I will simply smile and pass the clothes to him. Such a mother-in-law will cause trouble in her son's home, it is either one is ready to face it or opts out.

I can just imagine how funny it would be if the guy dumps her after she washes piles and piles of clothes.

Allwility:
You see, African mothers no Nigerian mothers are excellent judges of characters. They have the innate ability of discerning things, picking out things the ordinary eyes wouldn't see. Like my parents would say, what they can spot out from a sitting position a young man cannot see it even if he climbs a mountain.

The mother giving the girlfriend clothes to wash isn't because the mother is rude or her son too poor to buy a washing machine. She isn't even assessing how well the girl can wash. She is deliberately putting her would be daughter in law on the spot. She's trying to judge the girl's character. Just a flinch from the lady will tell the mom a whole lot about the lady. Even if the lady forces a smile the mom will still take note of the fake smile. That's why most ladies are apprehensive about meeting their would be MILs. Best bet for any lady placed in such situation is to act natural!. Take her as your mom!!!! The lady can even make a joke of the situation by asking the son why he allowed his mom's clothes to pile up this much and saying something like "Im gonna change your name on my phone from Allwility to Lazy Allwility" or stuffs like that. Then wash the clothes and ask if you can join her in the kitchen because by that time the mother would be preparing food for the both of you.

This matter simple sef. My mother assess my friends by the way they eat their food whenever we go visiting her. Very few pass that test.

Talk about assessment centers!!

People seem to have forgotten we are Africans. Back in those days, girls go to the stream to fetch waters for their would be mother in laws and boys work in the farms of their would be father in laws. Of course they don't do it alone, they ask their friends to join them but everyone knows that such acts of love tell about how genuine their intentions are and is a real pointer to their character.

1000likes. Well said.

Its possible the mother in law didn't like the girl at first glance and is using the opputunity to chase her away. Her response would determine where the relationship would go next. Her getting angry and walking out of the relationship could be just what the mother in law was planning all along.

She could humbly take the clothes to waah and the mother will drag the clothes back from her, or she cold go ahead and wash it and her mother in law will respect her all the more for it. She can quarrel with the boy after they have left the house to show her displeasure but the fact that she can wash her mother's clothes means she should be able to wash her boyfriends mothers clothes as well.

If your boyfriend's mother telling u to wash her clothes is enough to break your love for him then what kind of weak yeye love is that? Good riddance I say.

RiloKiley:
Its possible the mother in law didn't like the girl at first glance and is using the opputunity to chase her away. Her response would determine where the relationship would go next. Her getting angry and walking out of the relationship could be just what the mother in law was planning all along.
She could humbly take the clothes to waah and the mother will drag the clothes back from her, or she cold go ahead and wash it and her mother in law will respect her all the more for it. She can quarrel with the boy after they have left the house to show her displeasure but the fact that she can wash her mother's clothes means she should be able to wash her boyfriends mothers clothes as well.
If your boyfriend's mother telling u to wash her clothes is enough to break your love for him then what kind of weak yeye love is that? Good riddance I say.

Washing clothes for a prospective mother in law does not make them like you, some hate you immediately they hear you are from a specific village,
I think it is outright evil for a mother in law to make a potential wife wash her clothings.

my own is this... why is it that it's when there's a 1st time visitor you know there are dirty clothes?

What kind of yeye test is that? Some ladies are desperate and can form humility by washing the clothes. But let them enter the house 1st... na fire on the mountain be that.

Literally, 'Don't wash your dirty laundry in public'.

A girlfriend sef, if it had been fiancée ehen...

Will just fold it and take to the nearest dry cleaner's.
It must be a test from her and I'm sure I've passed jare

Test fire!

On the first day of meeting someone?! It will be a miracle if that relationship survives till daybreak!

If refusing (politely of course) is to fail please take your f9 and wear it as a badge of honour. If she can do that on the first day..... beware what will happen when you marry the guy. Dont start what you cant finish.

There are other more effective ways to test people's character.

lilmax:
Who does that?

Ops mum!!

KissCODE:

You are a would be “daughter“ inlaw and daughters wash their mum‘s cloths.

Would you help your father-in-law wash cloths, starch and iron since sons wash their dads cloths too...
On your first visit, without being offered anything?

Just asking....

Kaldakinn:

Glory be to God.
you will make a good nanny.

Looool @ glory be to God...

aameyah:


Would you help your father-in-law wash cloths, starch and iron since sons wash their dads cloths too...
On your first visit, without being offered anything?

Just asking....

yes i will do everything a son does for a father to him.
What is hard there?

KissCODE:
yes i will do everything a son does for a father to him.
What is hard there?

Talk is cheap!!

HABA WHO DOES THAT. WILL JOKINGLY TELL MY MUM TO LOCK UP..LOL

KissCODE:

If you are yet single; i pray you get married before Dec 31st 2016... Amen.
But washing someone‘s clothe does not make one a maid. Remember that in Africa & Nigeria, marriage is not between a man & a woman but between two families.

OP, if your reason for bringing the girl to my mom is for her aproval then i will encourage her to wash the clothes with smile & happiness. After all as a would be mother-inlaw, she could have ordinarily asked to help her wash clothes, do the dishes and other house work.

So for me i will encourage my woman to wash the clothes and even do more.
I see nothing wrong in it.

Your reasoning sha. *mimics him* this is Africa , Nigeria my foot.

Let's call a spade a spade, I am just meeting you for the first time, hell I am marrying your kid not you. That action is just plain rude , of that is a criteria for marriage nna u na nnegi je laula na transformer, make I stay my own side biko.



And the pop of this world is over 7 billion for those that are feeling too important.

spill:


For me, I will take my mum to her room and request for the reasons behind her action.
The stated reasons will guide my actions.

NB: I can't question my mum or condemn her actions in the presence of my girl neither will I question my girl in the presence of my mum.
Shikenah, Out of here to avoid End time wives to be

may God bless you for this comment, e sweet my belle