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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” (991 Views)
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An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by inconnue(f): 11:00pm On Mar 27, 2016 |
Dear Mr Ikemba, Not an awful lot of people are interested in knowing the size of Cynthia’s husband’s manhood or how to satisfy a woman in bed in all those sexually explicit messages you so thoughtfully send. Even if some were, I’m sure they get it by now, 200 messages later. We have all received messages from you or at least know someone who knows someone who has. You persist in terrorizing us even after we unsubscribe, your mails somehow keep popping up in our in boxes even after we mark them as spam. We have also heard from your evil twin,Ike Ikemba. He makes you seem like a saint in comparison with the kind of sexually charged messages he fires, I’m sure there are more than a few traumatized minors around the globe who were hapless enough to receive his emails. Personally though, I think Ike Ikemba is just another one of your many personalities that take over when you become moonstruck. Fishing you out should be a collective effort, a true show of Nationalism. I envision you sitting behind a computer screen in a dark face me I face you abode somewhere in a lagos slum, finger posed above the enter key right this moment, one click away from a fresh assault on our senses. When we finally capture you, we should bind you up, hands out front where we can see them. You wouldn’t be able to wave them in the air like you just don’t care or produce a secret phone. All we want to is WHY; why do you begin your messages with “Ikemba Here I was just going through the internet…” and persist in sending the same nauseating messages over and over again until we can almost recite them verbatim? Why are you so unoriginal? HOW,how did you get our email addresses; Was there a special selection process where you chose us, your lucky victims? WHO, who sent you? Is it maybe an arch enemy somewhere who’s having a good laugh at our expense this very moment? I have to hand it to you though; you are persistent, consistent and unrelentless in your onslaught. Unaffectionately, Kate Benjamin And a host of other concerned victims. https://kateunmarried./2016/03/27/an-open-letter-to-mr-ikemba/ 1 Share
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Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by Mishydoo(m): 11:29pm On Mar 27, 2016 |
Hahaha....Bros,i tot I was d only one o,mst hv deleted more than 1000 of his messages.cnt even allow sm1 else open my email cos I knw his message cn pop up anytime.... @lalasticlala FP biko nu 1 Like |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by dayowunmi(m): 12:25am On Mar 28, 2016 |
Mr ikemba carry your emba from our emails o. |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by Nobody: 7:51am On Mar 28, 2016 |
Who the hell is mr ikemba |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by Timossa(m): 5:26pm On Mar 28, 2016 |
Jeez.... I thought I was the only one Mr. Ike ikemba has been sending messages to. This must be spiritual O. He will not rest, I have deleted so many of his messages, but anytime I log on I will see his email again. My manhood is working absolutely well, he should leave Nigeria and go to Asian nations where they would need his services. Well done op. |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by inconnue(f): 4:04pm On Mar 29, 2016 |
Mishydoo:u're not the only one o,he has many victims |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by inconnue(f): 4:06pm On Mar 29, 2016 |
Timossa:I've replied him so many times to tell him just that |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by inconnue(f): 4:09pm On Mar 29, 2016 |
Suigeneris93:Mr Ikemba is an extraordinary spammer. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten in touch with u yet. Or just wait,he'll get to u |
Re: An Open Letter To “Mr Ikemba” by Nobody: 4:13pm On Mar 29, 2016 |
inconnue: Lol @extraordinary spammer, I hope he doesn't tho |
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