You're flying Nigerian airways when,
You get to the airport before the ticket counter staff.

Everybody is checking in suitcases the size of a refrigerator.

The person beside you taps you on your shoulder and says , " I beg yu checkeen dis piece of luggage fah mi nuh, "

Everybody makes a bolt for the gate when the announcer on the p.a.system says that ", this is NOT a boarding announcement.".

You can't get on board because somebody in front of you is trying to get a Toyota engine block into the overhead compartment.

At least one passenger is accompanied by an armed Federal Agent (body guard or escort).

No magazine or news paper to read unless if you bring one.

Everybody is trying to figure out what "Port of Embarkation" means.

When the passenger next to you slowly leans away from you while raising one leg and mutters , "Yes bwoy, DAT is gas!"

Somebody hands a flight attendant a paper bag and asks her to "heat up dis fufu soup fi mi nuh deariee".

The overhead compartment smells like fish and rum, then it starts to drip on you.

Most of the passengers clap and clap when the pilot lands the plane.

Everybody who has a big screen TV, a boom-box and a microwave goes straight to the "Nothing to Declare" line

The steward serves you a hard bread bun and tells you "ol boy, no Tea oh"