1. If you make money in Nigeria from shows and music CDs bought by average Nigerians, don't take your wedding to Dubai where Nigerians can't come and eat Jollof. We also have a spirit head, 'Eleda' and it fights for us. You can't refuse people from reaping where they have sown without dire consequences.

2. The one who takes weed during courtship will take cocaine in marriage. The one who will be epileptic at night will begin with convulsion by day. He who smokes cigarette in public will smoke marijuana in private. Don't ignore the signs. Don't kill yourself.

3. What you won't take as a rich man or woman, don't condone it in poverty. You won't always be poor and desperate. Think.

4. Always separate business or career from pleasure. Making your undisciplined spouse your business manager always boomerangs. There is no heritage between father and son without a clearly defined delineation. Excessive familiarity is the harbinger of career contempt.

5. If you must cheat, cheat creatively. Why save a side chic's number on your mobile phone with a suggestive name like 'edible catering' when 'Voicemail', 'Customer care', 'Subomi spare part' will do the magic? If you cannot successfully cheat without being caught by so uncreatively saving a side chic's number as edible catering, how can you successfully blackmail your spouse on instagram without blaming hackers for it?

6. Don't wash your dirty linen on social media. Divorce is best achieved in the Law court, not on instagram.

7. There is no point trying to explain yourself to those who are genuinely committed to not understanding you. Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter. Reacting to a scandalous allegation does not diminish it, rather; it propagates it to the hearing of those who didn't hear it in the first instance.

8. Whatever you permit to continue in your life and marriage will continue. Abuse, cheating, overlooking personal indiscipline and unpardonable ineptitude inclusive.

9. Money is the greatest fuel for igniting the destruction of longstanding friendship and relationships. Romance without finance is an annoying nuisance. Money gives honey to marriages. Communal feast is not sweet when a participating member of the feast is not a contributory member.

10. That you made someone is no license to recklessly milk them to death. The fowl which lays eggs also feels the pain of delivery. It takes a special kind of inferior archaic insecurity to perpetually reside in the past of little beginning and habitually revel in the pettiness of tokenism.

11. Real men do not kiss and tell or shag and brag. It is foolish to reveal your bitter past to an uncouth partner in the moment of passion, for he will reveal same to the public in the quest for hurtful vengeance in the infuriating fist of rage.

12. Those who really want to die by killing themselves, do not mouth it, or announce it, they just do. Suicide is a solitary termination of one's miserable existence at the expiration of hope, not an attention-seeking dramatic announcement of death threat with the hope of rescue at the glare of public exposure. Death is a serious sturvs, it's not a joking sturvs, be serious.

13. If a man cannot successfully manage his life, it is self-hatred to commit your life, love, emotion, career and business in his incapable hands. The one who open-eyedly marries such a mess is a brave risk-taker. Worse still, the one who happily marries a rejected marital left over should prepare for a shocking leg over after the emotional hang over!

14. When you settle down rather than marry up, be ready to be let down.

15. If a man cannot successfully plan and execute his own suicide, what more proof do you need to ascertain his specialty of failure in everything?

Op, no 1 got me laughing