please what should I do,I was about sweeping when my baby vacuum flask fell and got broken.I've been thinking.... I don't knw how to break the news to my husband without him getting so mad at me.Am saying this here cause I know how. strenuous it was in getting the money...We are first time parent,actually preparing for our first child. ....please I need help here

Jessie21:
please what should I do,I was about sweeping when my baby vacuum flask fell and got broken.I've been thinking.... I don't knw how to break the news to my husband without him getting so mad at me.Am saying this here cause I know how. strenuous it was in getting the money...We are first time parent,actually preparing for our first child. ....please I need help here

Hmmm, if you can't talk to him and have him understand it was a mistake from you, then you are married to a military husband. Why are you afraid of him this much?

Could you please Recommend any good Psychologist/therapists in Lagos

DADII:
I have always considered myself to be strong, mentally I mean. But lately it seems events in my life are just happening simply to test my strenght...

I attempted suicied once as a teenager (I broke a bottle and slashed my wrist with it) and lately am thinking back to that time, the sweet painful sensation, the peace in my heart as i knew it was finally ending; and am thinking what if

I love my kids and I dont want to leave them without a mother but am just soooo tired.....

abeg no leave those kids,so that ur relatives n friends don't turn them to house helps Biko ..it's never easy

I think my depression is getting the best of me and in my way of work, as of lately I always tend not to bring personal problems to the office, but no matter how much I try to hide things, my face gives me away, I was recently summoned by the HR in my company, apparently people reported that i look/act detached not interested, depressed and defeated, it was very awkward discussing wit HR, you're trying to pick what to say so you don't come across as 'volatile" at the same time trying to ensure you get your views heard, apparently it seems my colleagues monitor me much more than I expected.

But that's even different I applied for 2 jobs international and got rejected not because i wasn't good but it's too costly to relocate me, most times everyone asks me if am okay, it's not easy trying to do things so you can be in a better place financially but doors are just closing left and right, while still under intense pressure of works and traffic and all. It's just depressing and I think i am gradually detaching myself, because this days I just don't care anymore i do and say things without considering what the other person might feel, Even went as far expressing dis-interest in a project to the head of the department while in a serious meetings, I was asked if i wanted to leave the project, and I responded with a cold face 'That I can't confirm or deny the fact I want to leave the Project only time will tell'. I just have this hutch, I might be sacked soon because HR doesn't call people to ask about feelings, I guess am just angry I haven't been promoted despite doing and contributing a lot of work, what i've come to notice is that I have no visibility despite how much i put, management never seems to notice anything because despite they still giving me work, they are still under the impression I am not doing anything, plus the thought that in 8 years now I will be 40 and things are not what i thought they should be. Just wanted to rant, the only way i cope is alcohol and dealing with drugs.

pcguru1:
I guess am just angry I haven't been promoted despite doing and contributing a lot of work, what i've come to notice is that I have no visibility despite how much i put, management never seems to notice anything because despite they still giving me work, they are still under the impression I am not doing anything,

Hmmm. Maybe you should confide in someone in your workplace concerning how you feel about your career. Probably someone at the top who can pull some strings for you or just somebody you can talk to. I may not have your experience, but I have learnt that expressing your mind, talking to (genuine & successful) people about how you feel, really goes a long way about how we handle situations that we think are bigger than us. I share my thought (career-wise) with one of my bosses, I know he can't do anything as regard my present situation (like I am stuck in just one role for the past 3 years plus I earn peanut) but when he shares his experience of how he has suffered and how he managed to get his breakthrough, it gives me a kind of faith in myself (though dim) but it is better than feeling sorry and thinking the whole world is crashing on one's neck. Just get out there, you will find out people are doing better even with bigger problems than yours. And concerning your job I don't know how connected you are in getting a replacement, but if we are in the same shoe. Still (put the yam in the fire while you search for the knife to peel the back) Yoruba adage.

Urm, for those living around uniport, you have issues regarding feeding, feel free to send a pm. That's the least I could do.

Cutehector:
Urm, for those living around uniport, you have issues regarding feeding, feel free to send a pm. That's the least I could do.

Aeya... Good one. God bless u

Pcguru1 I think you should free your mind and worry less about things you have no control over. It would surprise you how your life would turn around for d better if you drop the negative demeanor and put up a positive one. You are 32 and with a job, some 32 years olds are in the hospital or in the grave. Be grateful and also be hopeful. That call could come in anyday. Alcohol and drugs are never the solution. Please fix that. Thanks.

Dacronym:
Could you please Recommend any good Psychologist/therapists in Lagos

You can try googling it or check top hospitals... They should have a psychologists and therapists on duty.

Depression is not a play, there is something that caused it, patients should always work on things that depress them. I learnt that major cause of depression is inability to balance spiritual visions and reality

I am burnt out and depressed

kapelvej:
I am burnt out and depressed

what is the issue?
do u mind sharing?

Life's problems have been hitting me left,right and center! Everywhere I go there seems to be something waiting for me !
I'm tired already ! Any good thing that comes doesn't last ! Even praying hasn't helped much ! I need hope ! I need to see the light ! I might get depressed soon !

shininglite:


what is the issue?
do u mind sharing?

Long story

Hi frnds

Just found this page,am depressed ......yes I am.i have ask this questions on my diary but no one is willy to reply me or help me on it..here it goes

Pls married folks,how do you deal with a stingy spouse..my husband is caring ,fun to be with,jovial,playful but he doesn't joke with his money and am getting tired and sick of that.i can't ask of money from him freely cus it will surely result to qurrel,am a student nd surely i will need some money for petty petty sch runz.i dont get to no when he has money or not nd it's really hurting me..
Most times he say he has no money
I spend from the little work I do as per student,^{i fix some fancy nails which is my life saver}

Pls I need ur advice.. thanks

[quote author=SwtDove post=66076112]Hi frnds

Just found this page,am depressed ......yes I am.i have ask this questions on my diary but no one is willy to reply me or help me on it..here it goes

Pls married folks,how do you deal with a stingy spouse..

Babe, sorry about the whole ish. I read your diary and I also read this now but I seem to be ignorant of the advice to give. I assume you started tolerating the stinginess initially which is why he's still doing it.
My very close friend married a stingy man and couldn't take his stinginess so she started insisting on what she wants from the onset. For example, since the hubby will not agree that he has money if she asks him to give her money to buy cloth, she will wait for the day the hubby will buy pin for himself . Any day he buys any pin for himself, she will quarrel and nag not minding whether people are staring or not till he brings the money. Sometimes, he gives the money because people are staring and he's shy but my gf doesn't care oh

Secondly, the only thing her hubby comfortably brings out money for is for food cos he's a foodie so my gf will jejely collect #2500 for stew for instance and use #1500 to make small stew and put the rest in her pocket cos she knows that once the food finishes, the guy must bring money cos he knows eating out will never satisfy him as per foodie wey him be Different strokes for different folks but I feel you should strategise and be more insistent on these things now because kids are coming and it might get worse. Personally, i dont like asking people for money including hubby but someone once told me that all men spend money and if you don't force the money out of his pocket as his wife, he will now have the extra to spend on other people outside. I no dey believe all those I DON'T HAVE GIST especially when you know he has so if it means prying into his pocket when he's asleep, go ahead After all, two has become one cos if you don't get it from him, his image might get tarnished when you beg outsiders and they start degrading him as someone that doesn't provide for his wife.

Modified- Choi! I can't believe I just typed all these things this early morning

SwtDove:
Hi frnds

Just found this page,am depressed ......yes I am.i have ask this questions on my diary but no one is willy to reply me or help me on it..here it goes

Pls married folks,how do you deal with a stingy spouse..my husband is caring ,fun to be with,jovial,playful but he doesn't joke with his money and am getting tired and sick of that.i can't ask of money from him freely cus it will surely result to qurrel,am a student nd surely i will need some money for petty petty sch runz.i dont get to no when he has money or not nd it's really hurting me..
Most times he say he has no money
I spend from the little work I do as per student,^{i fix some fancy nails which is my life saver}

Pls I need ur advice.. thanks

Hey sweet heart.
Talk to him cuz communication is key ,try to change him Before babies start coming else feeding and clothing will be a hard nut to crack. Start coming up with White elephant project as to save some cash. Tell him your business is not moving. hope you are not the one financing the kitchen, i guess he is not good at giving to others. Treat him with high esteem and respect ,but when it comes to your needs ,don't joke and break down emotionally . Am a guy and my dad was like Dat, i grew up crying but when i understood the game .i refuse to be broke

[quote author=stephmiracle post=66078285][/quote]

This is Jst my story I swear, he only drop money for food when he is hungry or wen we wanna cook soup..
Our everyday quarrel is base on money.. And to think I never notice all this during courtship though we didn't date for long before we got married. I hope u read it in my diary
Thanks sis for ur contributions

id4sho:

Hey sweet heart.
Talk to him cuz communication is key and break down emotionally . be broke

Thanks for ur input bro.
As for sitting him down, I have done that tire which usually result to quarrel nd if it results to quarrel I won't be able to collect the money again nd dats all.

As for the white elephant project lol, I don come up with alot of ideas,cook alot of stories jst to collect money but lailai he will say he no get noni.. I jst tire..

SwtDove:


This is Jst my story I swear, he only drop money for food when he is hungry or wen we wanna cook soup..
Our everyday quarrel is base on money.. And to think I never notice all this during courtship though we didn't date for long before we got married. I hope u read it in my diary
Thanks sis for ur contributions

It's well sis. Just start squeezing out money from the food money jare. Man must be keeping body and soul together joor. If the soup lasts for two days, he will have no alternative but to bring another money for food. Shikena

@ teamie SwtDove my only advice for you while you continue pressing till this iss is finally arrested is to get empowered aside the skill you have now. It/some might cost you...lemme not say cash but time, and your studies too but you can balance them i assure you.
You can do it! What other skill interests you? I wish i can help
I wish you to be financial independent soon
This is just the beginning so don't get worked up by starting being depressed already.. it isn't good for you and your baby. Your happiness is right in your hands dear
Cheers

Cutehector:
Urm, for those living around uniport, you have issues regarding feeding, feel free to send a pm. That's the least I could do.

Hello cutehector, am sure u got my pm. pls I'm still waiting for a feedback. Thanks

Twizzy30:
Hello cutehector, am sure u got my pm. pls I'm still waiting for a feedback. Thanks

are you the one from unilag?

tatacherie:
@ teamie SwtDove my only advice for you while you continue pressing till this iss is finally arrested is to get empowered aside the skill you have now. It/some might cost you...lemme not say cash but time, and your studies too but you can balance them i assure you.
You can do it! What other skill interests you? I wish i can help
I wish you to be financial independent soon
This is just the beginning so don't get worked up by starting being depressed already.. it isn't good for you and your baby. Your happiness is right in your hands dear
Cheers

Thank you for ur love sis,i really appreciate...since we are on holiday now,am looking for a part-time job around atleast to help myself cus if I shld rely on my hubby hmmmm...

SwtDove:


Thank you for ur love sis,i really appreciate...since we are on holiday now,am looking for a part-time job around atleast to help myself cus if I shld rely on my hubby hmmmm...

Ok. That's a good one
Fingers crossed then. All the best

Cutehector:
are you the one from unilag?

yes i am

Twizzy30:
yes i am

I can't send food to unilag na...

Cutehector:
I can't send food to unilag na...

ohh. thats true, but u can help in other way.... Thanks btw