As a step-parent, you’re also a caregiver just like biological parents of a child. It is perhaps more difficult than being a biological parent of a particular child. No matter how we paint it, the relationship a child has with his/her biological parent will not be the same as that of a step-parent. It doesn’t necessarily mean his/her relationship will be a positive one with his/her parent.
I read the story of a man who raised about 3 step-children right from when they were children. When the man died, none of these children attended his burial ceremony. In Africa, especially Nigeria, you don’t miss the funeral of a family member. You don’t. Many people were angry and strongly condemned these children who have attained greater heights with this man’s resources.
Being a step-parent is like investing in a business. It may pay off and it may fail. Even biological parents fail sometimes. How best can you manage a step-child?

NEVER ASSUME THE ROLE OF A BIOLOGICAL PARENT
As a step-parent, you would certainly want to get the attention of the child and this starts with bonding. You can bond with a step-child by engaging in activities. Be careful when choosing these activities though. Find out the activities he/she did/does with his/her biological parent. Once you know these activities, create your own fun activities. NEVER do/continue with the biological parent’s activities. It may be fun at first but at a point, the child will feel you’re stealing his/her parent’s identity. A parent’s identity can never be taken from a child. This is why you’d always see a child wanting to see his/her parent no matter how poor or useless they may be. Blood they say, is thicker than water.

LET YOUR SPOUSE DO THE DISCIPLINE
Strict parents always get commendation from teachers and religious leaders. This shows that discipline is a vital part of parenting in Africa and some parts of the world. However, being a step-parent has put a hole in how you discipline. You have to discipline like a classroom teacher. No corporal punishments, no verbal abuse. Just ‘advice’. When it comes to exerting iron hand, leave your spouse who is the biological parent to do it. Being the African model disciplinarian will lead to hate. No matter how hard you try, the fact remains, you’re NOT their biological parent. If you’re dealing with a teenager, he/she might even say it to your face.

KNOW THE LIMITS
When there is need to discuss issues regarding your spouse’s ex, discuss in private. If the issue is meant to be an open one, choose your words carefully. No matter how good you are, your words will never be forgotten—good or bad. It is advisable to refrain totally from issues relating to your spouse’s ex but need be to contribute, carry out the aforementioned.
Lastly,

BUILD BRIGES
This is quite easy. Try all means safe and possible to build strong bond with the child and the estranged parent. This will command a lot of respect from the ex and his/her child. Be open enough to listen and resolve issues. Teach them to be good to people no matter the situation. In all, you’d have peace of mind too. Step-parents who have done have a strong relationship with child not theirs and if you’re not privy to any information, you may not know they’re not related by blood.


Saucepan:
http://nifemiolu..com.ng/2016/05/practical-ways-of-being-step-parent.html

Hmmm what a write up.

chriskosherbal:
Hmmm what a write up.

Thanks

Humans are not same
Me oo
As in me oo
If I end with a man with kids
Toddlers
They are mine
I will do to them what I do to mine
Shout
Yell
Spank when need be


When I can be a mother to kids I dunno their parents
Then my own spouse will be different?

Impossicant

Dyt:
Humans are not same
Me oo
As in me oo
If I end with a man with kids
Toddlers
They are mine
I will do to them what I do to mine
Shout
Yell
Spank when need be


When I can be a mother to kids I dunno their parents
Then my own spouse will be different?

Impossicant

Well, balance is the key

Dyt, you're talking about the ideal, when the reality stares you in the face, no one will beg you to change your stance. It's you only that'll know you're treating them same way you'd treat yours. Even your spouse won't share that view.

zayhal:
Dyt, you're talking about the ideal, when the reality stares you in the face, no one will beg you to change your stance. It's you only that'll know you're treating them same way you'd treat yours. Even your spouse won't share that view.

I have been in that position of taking care if kids that are not mine
Neither my blood relations

Its about you
Yourself
Your personality

We are different
I can maltreat anyone
Even an adult not to talk of children


I am talking from experience

zayhal:
Dyt, you're talking about the ideal, when the reality stares you in the face, no one will beg you to change your stance. It's you only that'll know you're treating them same way you'd treat yours. Even your spouse won't share that view.

Exactly. Just like a Yoruba adage that says, "Help me beat my child" is not really meant by the owner of the child.