Morning All,

Ah ah he forbids it as her master or her father

What is he feeling like...

My mother worked we all turned out fine with a good example of work ethic

He forbids it........no discussion, no give and take, no flexibility, part time nkor

The solution to every marital problem is getting a sexy houseboy.

freakthingz:
Ah ah he forbids it as her master or her father

What is he feeling like...

My mother worked we all turned out fine with a good example of work ethic

He forbids it........no discussion, no give and take, no flexibility, part time nkor

the husband is both her father and her master..

mizzochocinco:
The solution to every marital problem is getting a sexy houseboy.

what is it with u and sexy houseboy?
are u okay?

Let me ask Buahri..

johnson232:

what is it with u and sexy houseboy?
are u okay?

why do you have problems with sexy houseboys?

no be only forbid say him be wetin God Abi?? what are his reasons? and that shouldn't be his call to make de lady should decide what she wants, all this should be discussed during courtship to avoid conflicts

johnson232:

the husband is both her father and her master..

hes a husband and a partner not her father nor her master the should dialogue it's not his decision to make let her agree

Blade21:
hes a husband and a partner not her father nor her master the should dialogue it's not his decision to make let her agree

i forgot to also add partner...

Dear Op,I understand how you feel but I want U to know dt in everything as a wife ur home is first.In as much as he pays the bills and all,I feel you should delay for sometime with the job search thing. Your husband is a responsible man who will not want U to be a liability.However, he has got his reasons for asking U to hold on.

What are his reasons? How much is he willing to pay you for sitting at home?

Double post.

byvan03:
What are his reasons? How much is he willing to pay you for sitting at home?

Ibgo woman, business is in your DNA.

How are you darling? The boys? Very soon you will have them full time at home, hope you are prepared?

edwife:


Ibgo woman, business is in your DNA.

How are you darling? The boys? Very soon you will have them full time at home, hope you are prepared?

Lol, but Nne he needs to propose a salary for staying at home nah, abi how he wan make she take get credit alert?

I am very far from prepared, we might go visit their granny as we would also be on break too. That full time having is scary mehn, sometimes I do overdose on halftime .

bulunton:
Dear Op,I understand how you feel but I want U to know dt in everything as a wife ur home is first.In as much as he pays the bills and all,I feel you should delay for sometime with the job search thing. Your husband is a responsible man who will not want U to be a liability.However, he has got his reasons for asking U to hold on

Seems you know the couple from somewhere. Pls what are the man's reasons

byvan03:




Lol, but Nne he needs to propose a salary for staying at home nah, abi how he wan make she take get credit alert?

I am very far from prepared, we might go visit their granny as we would also be on break too. That full time having is scary mehn, sometimes I do overdose on halftime .

You right , i mean not a salary per say but an allowance. Anyway they need to discuss and go trough all the reasons he wants her to stay home, only then they can get an agreement.

Awww, you gonna be fine. You can never be prepared for kids, just one day at a time.Goodluck dear.

edwife:


You right , i mean not a salary per say but an allowance. Anyway they need to discuss and go trough all the reasons he wants her to stay home, only then they can get an agreement.

Awww, you gonna be fine. You can never be prepared for kids, just one day at a time.Goodluck dear.

Thanks babe, I hate that name allowance, I love salary better. He needs to propose a salary, at least I know am working as a babysitter/housekeeper, as long as am paid in full. If one is going to waste her youth all for family, it should at least be worth it in Benjis. Allowance isn't worth it , a salary needs to be in place for one to accept such offer. Once all kids are in school, I don't see what the woman is staying for. I call such enemy of progress.


I have no problem with staying at home as long as am cashing out and sure of it monthly as per salary things. There are so much I can do from home business wise and academically.

Thanks babe, I will just improve the fuel budget because once their is power, they will be glued to Disney junior while I do my thing.

byvan03:




Thanks babe, I hate that name allowance, I love salary better. He needs to propose a salary, at least I know am working as a babysitter/housekeeper, as long as am paid in full. If one is going to waste her youth all for family, it should at least be worth it in Benjis. Allowance isn't worth it , a salary needs to be in place for one to accept such offer. Once all kids are in school, I don't see what the woman is staying for. I call such enemy of progress.


I have no problem with staying at home as long as am cashing out and sure of it monthly as per salary things. There are so much I can do from home business wise and academically.

Thanks babe, I will just improve the fuel budget because once their is power, they will be glued to Disney junior while I do my thing.

What if the 'allowance' is #300k monthly?

@ School, you mean primary school? kindergarten? Crèche?

How are you and family?

expansion1:
Morning All, should a woman be in search of employment when the husband doesn't consent to her working. even though she was asked to resign her previous job due to some important needs.

1. Who asked her to resign?
2. What important needs prompted her to resign?
3. Has those needs been met/ do they still exist?
4. If no, how does she intend meeting them while working?
5. Why doesn't her husband consent to her working?

And the joker...
What was the agreement pre-marriage?

byvan03:




Thanks babe, I hate that name allowance, I love salary better. He needs to propose a salary, at least I know am working as a babysitter/housekeeper, as long as am paid in full. If one is going to waste her youth all for family, it should at least be worth it in Benjis. Allowance isn't worth it , a salary needs to be in place for one to accept such offer. Once all kids are in school, I don't see what the woman is staying for. I call such enemy of progress.


I have no problem with staying at home as long as am cashing out and sure of it monthly as per salary things. There are so much I can do from home business wise and academically.

Thanks babe, I will just improve the fuel budget because once their is power, they will be glued to Disney junior while I do my thing.

Well different strokes, just as you hate the word allowance, i hate the word salary because by the end of the day- those kids are mine too. I also don't see it as wasting my life taking care of my children, however i do agree that a woman who is willing to stay at home with her kids while holding on to her dreams, needs to be very well taken care of.

When I used to be a stay at home mum, many of my friends made me feel like i was missing something and to tell you the truth, i am here now and nothing like that happened. Many still where they were, no improvement, many i left behind and some progressed but still wasn't easy either. One was very fond of telling me how are you able to sit at home doing nothing , that she can't, she needs to make money. But she was also borrowing money from someone who does nothing to sort one or two things at home women! .Jobs are not eternal, one can lose that job in a twinkle of an eye.

Of course once the kids are in school, what else is there to stay home for? I honestly doubt any man will ask his wife to stay at home forever, I haven't seen that.Many stay at home mums I know abroad or home, went back to pursue their dreams.

There are many things one can do no matter where one finds him/herself. It is about having a vision, a plan and seeing that it comes to pass.

Jisike nwannem.

edwife:


Well different strokes, just as you hate the word allowance, i hate the word salary because by the end of the day- those kids are mine too. I also don't see it as wasting my life taking care of my children, however i do agree that a woman who is willing to stay at home with her kids while holding on to her dreams, needs to be very well taken care of.

When I used to be a stay at home mum, many of my friends made me feel like i was missing something and to tell you the truth, i am here now and nothing like that happened. Many still where they were, no improvement, many i left behind and some progressed but still wasn't easy either. One was very fond on telling me how are you able to sit at home doing nothing , that she can't, she needs to make money. But she was also borrowing money from someone who does nothing to sort one or two things at home women! .Jobs are not eternal, one can lose that job in a twinkle of an eye.

Of course once the kids are in school, what else is there to stay home for? I honestly doubt any man will ask his wife to stay at home forever, I haven't seen that.Many stay at home mums I know abroad or home, went back to pursuit their dreams.

There are many things one can do no matter where one finds him/herself. It is about having a vision, a plan and seeing that it comes to pass.

Jisike nwannem.

Actually is staying at home doing nothing because the kids are in school. I chose a job that let me still be at their beck and call after school hours, so the staying at home for no reason can't work for me. I am all for no house help thingy, so I still satisfy myself and family, that way my joy is full. My service year i pretty much spent at home but I had a pregnancy to nurse, so I didn't really notice it go by. People are different , I can't be happy because everyone around me is happy for my enormous sacrifices , it isn't enough for me. I need to be happy because everyone is happy and am satisfied too. Balance is important to me, I conserve time with everything I do, so I tend to look for what I have achieved at the end of each year and if nothing...hmm.


I have no problem with stay at home mums as long as you aren't broke while at it, but OP wants to work and won't be happy without working. If she has infant to nurse, then she should stay at home, other wise she needs to be fulfilled too if a job will do that for her.


I have no problem staying at home if it comes with pay check, I go resign 'shaperly' go register for gym while counting down to month end . I understood your points absolutely because they still run to me for small loans with my my stay at home status then, but the kids are of school age ,wont stay at home for nothing.


As for losing job, no be for me ooo. I no mind to fry chin chin if it adds 1kobo to my acc . So lose job or not no concern me,nah to create one. Even the so called service year I was at home,i have lost count of the different items I sold .

edwife:


Well different strokes, just as you hate the word allowance, i hate the word salary because by the end of the day- those kids are mine too. I also don't see it as wasting my life taking care of my children, however i do agree that a woman who is willing to stay at home with her kids while holding on to her dreams, needs to be very well taken care of.

When I used to be a stay at home mum, many of my friends made me feel like i was missing something and to tell you the truth, i am here now and nothing like that happened. Many still where they were, no improvement, many i left behind and some progressed but still wasn't easy either . One was very fond of telling me how are you able to sit at home doing nothing , that she can't, she needs to make money. But she was also borrowing money from someone who does nothing to sort one or two things at home women! .Jobs are not eternal, one can lose that job in a twinkle of an eye.

Of course once the kids are in school, what else is there to stay home for? I honestly doubt any man will ask his wife to stay at home forever, I haven't seen that.Many stay at home mums I know abroad or home, went back to pursuit their dreams.

There are many things one can do no matter where one finds him/herself. It is about having a vision, a plan and seeing that it comes to pass.

Jisike nwannem.

badt woman

I fear who no fear you o

Edwife I think this work thing is more of self gratification than anything else, I love credit alerts and nothing makes me sing out loud like it. The amount no matter, it just has away of exciting me. So I look at it in terms of self gratification than anything else. The people you mentioned might be stagnant but they might also be happy doing what they do and that's their greatest gratification.

byvan03:




Actually is staying at home doing nothing because the kids are in school. I chose a job that let me still be at their beck and call after school hours, so the staying at home for no reason can't work for me. I am all for no house help thingy, so I still satisfy myself and family, that way my joy is full. My service year i pretty much spent at home but I had a pregnancy to nurse, so I didn't really notice it go by. People are different , I can't be happy because everyone around me is happy for my enormous sacrifices , it isn't enough for me. I need to be happy because everyone is happy and am satisfied too. Balance is important to me, I conserve time with everything I do, so I tend to look for what I have achieved at the end of each year and if nothing...hmm.


I have no problem with stay at home mums as long as you aren't broke while at it, but OP wants to work and won't be happy without working. If she has infant to nurse, then she should stay at home, other wise she needs to be fulfilled too if a job will do that for her.


I have no problem staying at home if it comes with pay check, I go resign 'shaperly' go register for gym while counting down to month end . I understood your points absolutely because they still run to me for small loans with my my stay at home status then, but the kids are of school age ,wont stay at home for nothing.


As for losing job, no be for me ooo. I no mind to fry chin chin if it adds 1kobo to my acc . So lose job or not no concern me,nah to create one. Even the so called service year I was at home,i have lost count of the different items I sold .

I agree with you there, like I said i have never come across a man who asks his wife to stay at home doing nothing, usually kids are involved.Even at home, i was doing business. My mum and sis will send stuff and i will sell in the comfort of my home.

mizzochocinco:
The solution to every marital problem is getting a sexy houseboy.

See wisdom! This truly is the solution to every marital issue.

Husband: (hmmm let me ignore my wife and message that cute single corper at my office. Her chest is perky!)
The next day....Husband comes home, sees a ripped young fellow, with melting brown eyes lined with curly lashes.
Husband (in alarm): "who's this??"
Wife: "that's Ibong/Tunde/Nedu, our new houseboy. You know you're always on your phone at night and I needed help to fill up the gen and queue for fuel."
(Houseboy bends over, muscles bathed in a light sheen of sweat, turns to smile and shows his perfect white teeth. Wife sighs softly. Husband sucks in big stomach).
Husband: "well I can change my bloody gen!" (Throws away phone, young corper and all other distractions)

THE END

Kimoni:


badt woman

I fear who no fear you o

But it's true, especially those ones that shade and act like their lives are perfect. They just have to make you feel something is wrong with you but truth is, they have their own hustles too.

Edwife at a certain age in Nigeria, I don't think there is any dream to pursue again, except is just to bag a certificate . With jobs requesting for experience up to 10-15years, who wan employ over aged newbie?

byvan03:
Edwife I think this work thing is more of self gratification than anything else, I love credit alerts and nothing makes me sing out loud like it. The amount no matter, it just has away of exciting me. So I look at it in terms of self gratification than anything else. The people you mentioned might be stagnant but they might also be happy doing what they do and that's their greatest gratification.

I think this is exactly the point Edwife is trying to make. While she was at home tending to her kids, they were making her feel bad like she was missing something out there not considering the fact that she was happy doing what she was doing.

So at the end of the day, it's one's happiness and self-fulfillment that matters most while also taking the larger family into consideration.

edwife:


I agree with you there, like I said i have never come across a man who asks his wife to stay at home doing nothing, usually kids are involved.Even at home, i was doing business. My mum and sis will send stuff and i will sell in the comfort of my home.

Some do, many do, it's nothing new. Insecurity is the main cause.

byvan03:
Edwife I think this work thing is more of self gratification than anything else, I love credit alerts and nothing makes me sing out loud like it. The amount no matter, it just has away of exciting me. So I look at it in terms of self gratification than anything else. The people you mentioned might be stagnant but they might also be happy doing what they do and that's their greatest gratification.

You and money! That's why it's good to do your thing without making anyone feel like your ideas or situation is better. Just like you think it's abnormal for me to stay at home, just like i think it's abnormal for me to go to work everyday without an improvement. You are happy, i am happy.Being fulfilled is what matters here.

Kimoni:


I think this is exactly the point Edwife is trying to make. While she was at home tending to her kids, they were making her feel bad like she was missing something out there not considering the fact that she was happy doing what she was doing.

So at the end of the day, it's one's happiness and self-fulfillment that matters most while also taking the larger family into consideration.

Exactly! You always get me.