Kimoni:


I think this is exactly the point Edwife is trying to make. While she was at home tending to her kids, they were making her feel bad like she was missing something out there not considering the fact that she was happy doing what she was doing.

So at the end of the day, it's one's happiness and self-fulfillment that matters most while also taking the larger family into consideration.

Trying to make her feel bad is stupidi*ty, it's not in their place to decide. Of course during my service year I had fun slaying a lot of Mrs Jobberwomen that tries to talk me down here. Once one is satisfied with what she is doing, that's all that matters. My post is just because OP isn't happy with it, other wise as long as the person isn't broke and needy, why criticise so blatantly?

edwife:


Exactly! You always get me.

Not on league days

byvan03:
Edwife at a certain age in Nigeria, I don't think there is any dream to pursue again, except is just to bag a certificate . With jobs requesting for experience up to 10-15years, who wan employ over aged newbie?

Well you will be surprised to find that some do get jobs alright. I read job section on BellaNaija, many people talk about their experiences .

What i advice many ladies who ask me for advices is to try do something by the side. Open university, online short courses,exams many things to enrich your cv. You don't have to go for a paying job, you can be your own boss too. We have a lot of lawyers, bankers turn business tycoon.

edwife:


You and money! That's why it's good to do your thing without making anyone feel like your ideas or situation is better. Just like you think it's abnormal for me to stay at home, just like i think it's abnormal for me to go to work everyday without an improvement. You are happy, i am happy.Being fulfilled is what matters here.

Who said is abnormal to stay at home? Do you read the part that I mentioned that I will resign via text message if a salary is put in place and am paid 1year upfront?


Who likes stress? I certainly don't biko.

byvan03:

Trying to make her feel bad is stupidi*ty, it's not in their place to decide. Of course during my service year I had fun slaying a lot of Mrs Jobberwomen that tries to talk me down here. Once one is satisfied with what she is doing, that's all that matters. My post is just because OP isn't happy with it, other wise as long as the person isn't broke and needy, why criticise so blatantly?

another badt woman

SLAYING!!!!!!

Kimoni:


Not on league days

Wait for next season na, you and muki will hear am.

edwife:


Well you will be surprised to find that some do get jobs alright. I read job section on BellaNaija, many people talk about their experiences .

What i advice many ladies who ask me for advices is to try do something by the side. Open university, online short courses,exams many things to enrich your cv. You don't have to go for a paying job, you can be your own boss too. We have a lot of lawyers, bankers turn business tycoon.

Very negligible number of them do,mostly on special arrangements. Only a few passed through normal protocols.

byvan03:




Who said is abnormal to stay at home? Do you read the part that I mentioned that I will resign via text message if a salary is put in place and am paid 1year upfront?
Who likes stress? I certainly don't biko.

No we were talking about those my friends na.lol

Byvan don't be unprofessional, go see your boss and tell him. You might need the job as soon as the kids are in school.

byvan03:


Very negligible number of them do,mostly on special arrangements. Only a few passed through normal protocols.

Well you might be right, i honestly don't know how the system works there.

Kimoni:


another badt woman

SLAYING!!!!!!

I don't know your old monicker, it used to be very fun here, if you weren't on this section then . Now everybody don become good geh, seems the boys brawl more nowadays.

edwife:


No we were talking about those my friends na.lol

Byvan don't be unprofessional, go see your boss and tell him. You might need the job as soon as the kids are in school.

When I don get better offer? Nah to enroll gym start prepare for the bikini contest wey me and Chillisauce start plan since the days of the old .

byvan03:

I don't know your old monicker, it used to be very fun here, if you weren't on this section then . Now everybody don become good geh, seems the boys brawl more nowadays.

Old monicker

I know...we they have all rebranded

Kimoni:


Old monicker

I know...we they have all rebranded

johnson232:

the husband is both her father and her master..

I think you will find that is incest and slavery respectively

Onegai:


See wisdom! This truly is the solution to every marital issue.

Husband: (hmmm let me ignore my wife and message that cute single corper at my office. Her chest is perky!)
The next day....Husband comes home, sees a ripped young fellow, with melting brown eyes lined with curly lashes.
Husband (in alarm): "who's this??"
Wife: "that's Ibong/Tunde/Nedu, our new houseboy. You know you're always on your phone at night and I needed help to fill up the gen and queue for fuel."
(Houseboy bends over, muscles bathed in a light sheen of sweat, turns to smile and shows his perfect white teeth. Wife sighs softly. Husband sucks in big stomach).
Husband: "well I can change my bloody gen!" (Throws away phone, young corper and all other distractions)

THE END

sharp geh!

edwife:


Well different strokes, just as you hate the word allowance, i hate the word salary because by the end of the day- those kids are mine too. I also don't see it as wasting my life taking care of my children, however i do agree that a woman who is willing to stay at home with her kids while holding on to her dreams, needs to be very well taken care of.

When I used to be a stay at home mum, many of my friends made me feel like i was missing something and to tell you the truth, i am here now and nothing like that happened. Many still where they were, no improvement, many i left behind and some progressed but still wasn't easy either. One was very fond of telling me how are you able to sit at home doing nothing , that she can't, she needs to make money. But she was also borrowing money from someone who does nothing to sort one or two things at home women! .Jobs are not eternal, one can lose that job in a twinkle of an eye.

Of course once the kids are in school, what else is there to stay home for? I honestly doubt any man will ask his wife to stay at home forever, I haven't seen that.Many stay at home mums I know abroad or home, went back to pursuit their dreams.

There are many things one can do no matter where one finds him/herself. It is about having a vision, a plan and seeing that it comes to pass.

Jisike nwannem.

Your friends were insecure and possibly jealous hence the need to defend their position and to criticize yours.

byvan03:




When I don get better offer? Nah to enroll gym start prepare for the bikini contest wey me and Chillisauce start plan since the days of the old .

I have retired from the bikini contest. Now Nne mama CWO that I'm preparing for.

But continue...I'm always here to support

Chillisauce:


I have retired from the bikini contest. Now Nne mama CWO that I'm preparing for.

But continue...I'm always here to support

Lol, why retire so early? Abi you don chop beans .

byvan03:




Lol, why retire so early? Abi you don chop beans .

I ate cucumber

johnson232:

the husband is both her father and her master..

Always a mumu

Joy1706:

Always a mumu

Once a mumu, always a mumu

As if my papa no know the number of pikin e get.

Chillisauce:



I ate cucumber

Mindfulness:


Your friends were insecure and possibly jealous hence the need to defend their position and to criticize yours.

You are probably right because I just didn't understand the obsession about a decision concerning my life and that of my family.

Chillisauce:



I ate cucumber

Naughty woman.

edwife:


Naughty woman.

You are the naughty one. I meant the cucumber EfemenaXY and damiso have been eating .

You begin think something else .

edwife:


But it's true, especially those ones that shade and act like their lives are perfect. They just have to make you feel something is wrong with you but truth is, they have their own hustles too.

Eddy. No one can make you feel "something is wrong with you" unless you let them. For you to have even felt that way means you probably at some point had self-doubts about your decision to be a stay at home mum during that period. I keep telling you, you worry toooooooo much about what people think. You need to firm up girl!

Mindfulness:

Your friends were insecure and possibly jealous hence the need to defend their position and to criticize yours.

Valid point.

Or maybe they just didn't get it. It works differently over here. At least there's a support structure for stay at home mums over here. Some do it out of necessity. Why rush back to work if you're only going to end up spending all that money on child care? The younger the child, the more expensive the child care. Fancy spending nearly £300 per week on one child. Then how much more will be spent if the couple have 2, 3, or more kids? Over £1,000 per week. To prove what na? Not forgetting women are entitled to a full one year's maternity leave of which depending on your employer, you get paid 90 - 100% of your normal salary for the first six months, a reduced amount for the next 3 months, then nothing for the last 3 months - but you're still on the company's books as an employee.

I also totally get Byvan03's angle. Naija is tough. Employers aren't that understanding. Access to cheaper child care options are easier but at the same time, if you don't have an understanding partner and are unlucky to have one who thinks being a stay at home mum = common housewife, then yes, such women are forced to get up and get moving. There's nothing more degrading for a woman to go cap in hand begging her "husband" to give her pocket money to buy herself sanitary towels. Or having to watch the man reluctantly count out the pennies / kobo while she meekly (and patiently waits).

Anyway, the title of this thread is vexing.

EfemenaXY:


Valid point.

[b]Or maybe they just didn't get it. It works differently over here. At least there's a support structure for stay at home mums over here. Some do it out of necessity. Why rush back to work if you're only going to end up spending all that money on child care? The younger the child, the more expensive the child care. Fancy spending nearly £300 per week on one child. Then how much more will be spent if the couple have 2, 3, or more kids? Over £1,000 per week. To prove what na? Not forgetting women are entitled to a full one year's maternity leave of which depending on your employer, you get paid 90 - 100% of your normal salary for the first six months, a reduced amount for the next 3 months, then nothing for the last 3 months - but you're still on the company's books as an employee.

I also totally get Byvan03's angle. Naija is tough. Employers aren't that understanding. Access to cheaper child care options are easier but at the same time, if you don't have an understanding partner and are unlucky to have one who thinks being a stay at home mum = common housewife, then yes, such women a forced to get up and get moving. There's nothing more degrading for a woman to go cap in hand begging her "husband" to give her pocket money to buy herself sanitary towels. Or having to watch the man reluctantly count out the pennies / kobo while she meekly (and patiently waits).[/b]

@Bold:

Very beautiful.

The concept of stay @ home mom in Nigeria and Abroad is two different things. Trust me, most Naija peeps against SHMs don't get it.

Lagos State was trying to push the six months mat leave, I don't know if they have started implementing it.

How are you and family?

bukatyne:


@Bold:

Very beautiful.

The concept of stay @ home mom in Nigeria and Abroad is two different things. Trust me, most Naija peeps against SHMs don't get it.

Lagos State was trying to push the six months mat leave, I don't know if they have started implementing it.

How are you and family?

Morning dear - we're all good oh. You and yours?

Waiting for my delayed train. I tire....

Looking forward to the Bank Holiday weekend sha

Chillisauce:


You are the naughty one. I meant the cucumber EfemenaXY and damiso have been eating .

You begin think something else .

Yours is a special cucumber.
The one dat looks like a peeled banana or bottle of small stout.

Stay at home moms make better Soup...
ND the fastest way to a man's heart is his stomach...
So stop complaining... Abi u don't want ur husband to be healthy

Seriously though, except u still have little kids to rear, there's no reason why you should just sit at home...
I don't understand the sense in marrying an educated woman if all she's gonna do is mop the floor all day and make egusi soup.... And get fat
Talk to your husband, his intentions may be good but the result no make sense.... There's a lot of brain-drain when educated women sit at home and gossip about those in their workplaces.. Your contributions are less than 10% of Nigeria's gross domestic product and the country is about to enter into a recession....

thelish:


Yours is a special cucumber.
The one dat looks like a peeled banana or bottle of small stout.

Chei! Cucumbers have suffered oh!

EfemenaXY:

Chei! Cucumbers have suffered oh!

HAHAHAHAHA.