A 15year old girl came to my office with a story that she was raped a month ago and that she had missed her period.

Pregnancy test confirmed she was pregnant.

Now here is my dilemma. She insisted that she wanted an abortion which is against my ethics as she cannot stand the shame and disgrace it would bring her at home and at school. She presently stays with an aunt who she says will skin her alive if she discovers. Her parents are late.

After trying to see reasons with her. She vehemently refused and threatened that if i dont do it , she would take an overdose of a dangerous drug and won't care if she loses her life in the process.

I gave her an appointment to see me in two days time but i really don"t know what to tell her or do

NAIRALANDERS, any suggestions?

pray for direction

he wanted an abortion which is against my ethics: She vehemently refused and threatened that if i dont do it , she would take an overdose of a dangerous drug and won't care if she loses her life in the process.

it's sad that she was raped. however, there's no other direction to fellow here but to stand on your ground. you cannot abort the baby for her simple. dont let her threats make you change your mind. stick to your grounds. it's her body, her choice. if she desperately needs abortion let her go to other place or whatever she wants with it, you're not going to be a part of it. it's against what you practice plain and simple. since you've advised her to reconsider and discourage her but to no avail now it's time to tell her you cant perform any abortion on her. just dont give in to her threats/attitudes.

@poster
I think sissy has said it all,, dont get involved in it, since you already told her, and let her go else where do whatever she wants with it,, That my advice too,,

Of course she has to abort the baby.
We don't want more children to be born with rapist genes.
If you can't do it, then direct her to a competent doctor who can, else she'll have to go to quacks.

No , she DOESN'T HAVE TO abort the baby! if its against ur ethics to perform d abortion 4 her , then it is also wrong for u to direct her to another doctor to do it. I just think you shouldn't be a part of it still. I'd go with sissy!

Some people are so heartless. 
If your daughter was raped, would you support her giving birth to the rapist's baby? 
How is she going to love the child knowing where he came from? 
Why should she have to suffer the stigma of single parenthood for the sake of a rapist's baby? 

Her well-being is more important than selfish ethics. 
Forget yourself for a moment and think about what's best for your patient.

Or are you going to take care of the baby for her if she decides not to abort?  Will you adopt?

I get what you are trying to say,  Its pretty tough when you really put yourself in her shoes but thats when religious/ethical  conflict comes in  .
But hey,  If you hold a belief I think you should stand on it,  He just doesnt want to be a part of it.

@ Seun

i know that rape a despicable and a hideous crime. it's a deep violation of anyone however, being the doctor here, i am not going to compromise my personal/ethical beliefs just to do her will. inasmuch as i sympathize with her and her pains, i will still firmly stand on my ground on not doing so. and i don't think refusing to do so equates to being mean/wicked or heartless just means that it simply goes against my practice.

The best thing to do is to abort this pregnancy to save this lady's life, otherwise she may take a wrong advice and either loose her womb or her life.

I pity her, and may all this evil doers never know peace for the rest of their life.

~Sissy~:

@ Seun

i know that rape a despicable and a hideous crime. it's a deep violation of anyone however, being the doctor here, i am not going to compromise my personal/ethical beliefs just to do her will. inasmuch as i sympathize with her and her pains, i will still firmly stand on my ground on not doing so. and i don't think refusing to do so equates to being mean/wicked or heartless just means that it simply goes against my practice.

thanks you spoke for me

Seun:

Some people are so heartless. 
If your daughter was raped, would you support her giving birth to the rapist's baby? 
How is she going to love the child knowing where he came from? 
Why should she have to suffer the stigma of single parenthood for the sake of a rapist's baby? 

Her well-being is more important than selfish ethics. 
Forget yourself for a moment and think about what's best for your patient.

Or are you going to take care of the baby for her if she decides not to abort?  Will you adopt?

seun why not think of the right of the doctor to keep his views?

WHY the hell are nigerians hypocrites? Put yourself in her shoes of havin the child of a rapist. It's traumatic enough, not to think of having a baby to remind you all your life

I guess you wil be celebrating at the naming ceremony and inviting your friends,abi, Do people think at all? A 15yr old to start living a life of disgrace early? No offence, some ppl on NL lack common sense!!

WHO THE HECK IS THIS 'SISSY' OF A PERSON, U MUST FEEL LIKE U HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF WISDOM, I CAN UNDERSTAND THE SO CALLED 'ETHICS', BUT MISS I M HOLIER THAN THOU, ARENT WE ALL SINNERS IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, I M GONNA BE VERY BLUNT BE CAUSE I THINK SEUN AND BASILDON HAVE SAID IT ALL AND SINCE U ARE NOT EVEN THE POSTER I WOULDNT WASTE MY TIME ON U

DRHARRY, I M NOT GOD AND NEITHER AM I THE DEVIL BUT SOME REAL SITUATIONS ARISE IN LIFE THAT REALLY PUT US IN A TIGHT CORNER AND WE COULD DAMN RIGHT BE ASKING WHY ME, IF ACCORDING TO UR WORK ETHICS U CANT DO IT, WOULD UR CONSCIENCE ALLOW U REFER HER TO SOMEONE ELSEWHO IS CAPABLE OR MAYBE ALLOW HER OUT OF SHAME AND FRUSTRATION TAK HER OWN LIFE, AND IF U THINK DEEPLY AND U KNOW WITHIN U THAT U CAN DO THIS AND SAVE A LIFE, PLEASE DO AND HOWEVER TERRIBLE IT MAY SOUND, ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS COS I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT IF THAT 15 YEAR OLD GIRL ISNT RESCUED, SHE'S GONNA END UP GETTING REED OF THAT PREGNANCY EITHER BY DAMAGING HER REPRODCTV ORGANS/ENDING HER LIFE OR THE PREGNANCY WOULD END UP RUINING HER LIFE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER

me likey:

WHO THE HECK IS THIS 'SISSY' OF A PERSON, U MUST FEEL LIKE U HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF WISDOM, I CAN UNDERSTAND THE SO CALLED 'ETHICS', BUT MISS I M HOLIER THAN THOU, ARENT WE ALL SINNERS IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, I M GONNA BE VERY BLUNT BE CAUSE I THINK SEUN AND BASILDON HAVE SAID IT ALL AND SINCE U ARE NOT EVEN THE POSTER I WOULDNT WASTE MY TIME ON U

DRHARRY, I M NOT GOD AND NEITHER AM I THE DEVIL BUT SOME REAL SITUATIONS ARISE IN LIFE THAT REALLY PUT US IN A TIGHT CORNER AND WE COULD DAMN RIGHT BE ASKING WHY ME, IF ACCORDING TO UR WORK ETHICS U CANT DO IT, WOULD UR CONSCIENCE ALLOW U REFER HER TO SOMEONE ELSEWHO IS CAPABLE OR MAYBE ALLOW HER OUT OF SHAME AND FRUSTRATION TAK HER OWN LIFE, AND IF U THINK DEEPLY AND U KNOW WITHIN U THAT U CAN DO THIS AND SAVE A LIFE, PLEASE DO AND HOWEVER TERRIBLE IT MAY SOUND, ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS COS I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT IF THAT 15 YEAR OLD GIRL ISNT RESCUED, SHE'S GONNA END UP GETTING REED OF THAT PREGNANCY EITHER BY DAMAGING HER REPRODCTV ORGANS/ENDING HER LIFE OR THE PREGNANCY WOULD END UP RUINING HER LIFE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER

Basildon1:

WHY the hell are nigerians hypocrites? Put yourself in her shoes of havin the child of a rapist. It's traumatic enough, not to think of having a baby to remind you all your life

I guess you wil be celebrating at the naming ceremony and inviting your friends,abi, Do people think at all? A 15yr old to start living a life of disgrace early? No offence, some ppl on NL lack common sense!!

i not fot argue. so a 15 y/o should not suffer but a doctor should suffer the angusih of violating his own principles. what is right in that? it should be on his conscience he aborted a child that he has no busines aborting. have you heard the word blood on your hands?

GEW:

i not fot argue. so a 15 y/o should not suffer but a doctor should suffer the angusih of violating his own principles. what is right in that? it should be on his conscience he aborted a child that he has no busines aborting. have you heard the word blood on your hands?

How can you say he had no business aborting?It was part of his training.In most countries,it is legal as long the foetus is under 24 wks and a doctor determines that it could damage the physical or MENTAL state of the female. A doctor has a responsibilty to disregard sentiment and do what is right! Go and read about how mothers treat their supporter of APC children in Sudan!

Basildon1:

How can you say he had no business aborting?It was part of his training.In most countries,it is legal as long the foetus is under 24 wks and a doctor determines that it could damage the physical or MENTAL state of the female. A doctor has a responsibilty to disregard sentiment and do what is right! Go and read about how mothers treat their supporter of APC children in Sudan!

mr essex, i know too that most civilized people will give a doctor the right to folow his/ her instincts. what is right is not presurising a doctor to violate his/ her conscience. there are many other doctors who will gladly do this in nigeria so why only this doctor. as i have said before the abortion industry in nigeria is one big industry so why force this guy to do it.

mr gew, u must be dramatic, ''so a 15 y/o should not suffer but a doctor should suffer the angusih of violating his own principles.  what is right in that? it should be on his conscience he aborted a child that he has no busines aborting.   have you heard the word  blood on your hands?''

first of all stop making a force about the anguish and blood on your hands bullshit,no one is putting a gun to his head to do what he doesnt wanna do,neither is anyone forcing or pressurizing him, he's a grown man, ethics and conscience are 2 differnt things, the point hear is if putting ethics aside,he finds it in himself to do it then why not save a life and if his conscience truly wouldnt let him, he still has to help the ''15 year old'' who is actually a child and dint ask for what happened to her out of this situation

this whole thing would hav been a differnt case if this girl was being wayward and got what she deserved but the single most important fact here is that its not right to hav a child under this kinda physical and psychological circumstance
for all we know,by now the poster might even have gone ahead with it

@poster,
it's so unfortunate that this things happen but i wud like u to stick to ur views.

i quite understand what the young girl is going through but she does not have to abort the baby.

there must be a reason why God allowed the conception of that child, a lot of people get raped but never got pregnant!
i belong to an Ngo that is pro-life and we can help this girl .
please mail me dupemr@yahoo.com

she could just have the child and give he/she to a motherless baby home and move on with her life.
someone else could also adopt the child

and she wud have nothing to do with the child but she has preserved a life
and God almigthy would be her HELP

You Guys should stop dragging what should not be dragged, If you cannot help her get an abortion for whatever church u go to, please refer her to a place she will get it done, you should know as a doctor also that she has her right to choose,

so, what if she dies having a baby or gives birth to a bastard or future area boy, that is the problem with us in africa, we mix every thing with church, freaking fanatics, just do ur job or refer the file,

besides as a professonal u shuld seek advise from an umnbiased profesional not some niaraland religoius fanatics,

Regards

Well, fellow nairalanders, thanks for all your suggestions and opinions.

Actually, she came back to me but this time she was not alone. somehow, her auntie found out about the pregnancy and to my amazement she was not raped at all. She was having sexual relations with a 28 year old Okada rider who is now in Police custody.

According to the auntie, she confessed to having connived with the man to get an abortion and that she had already obtained a concotion from a local herbalist for the act if i decline to do it.

After all said, the auntie has decided that she would have the baby.

Now some of your reactions to " ABORTION" the truth is that in Nigeria for now it has not been legalized. This poses a challenge as it has led to quacks performing it with a resultant high mortality. Professionally speaking, there are indications for a medical abortion especially if it poses a significant health threat to the mother. Be it as it may,one cannot deny the fact that some proffesionals have personal ethics which may conflict with doing an abortion and so we refer to qualified personnel in such cases.

Thanks again.

If you can't adopt, abort.

my advice for you is that you should pray for GOD's wisdom to guide you through.

I had d same experience wit d victim in ?, n i had to abort, why? I had to tink my educatn, my family esp my parents, i had to tink abt wat pple wil say abt it, would i luv d child? it realy wasnt an easy decision 4 me to make, bt bringin d child of a rapist into dis world, d stigma attachd to it and so on, So if u cant since its against ur ethics u can let her go ,bt remember she has no one to support her.

i found quite pathetic that she had use the excuse of rape to elicit sympathy from people. truly pathetic.