Mel, Syiny, Vanila and Summer were all going camping this weekend! , In Mel's room. Roasting pop-tarts over a flashlight, "Mel?" Vanila calls across the 'campfire'. "I want to play a game! We can tell freak-out stories." Summer suggested. "Boo, " Shadow mocks in an annoyed tone. Summer lets out a grieving sigh in discontent as the looms in a suffering manner over the weak light. It's not midnight, and everyone except Feather was asleep. He gets up and walks out of the room; probably for his training in dark fields. Taking advantage of the moment, Summer sets a decoy doll and makes her way out of the window, somewhat scared of waking Shadow as she creeks open the window. Summer sneaks out soon enough, and floats to the surface as she makes her way to the backyard. Wandering through the garden, she hears something creeping toward her slowly. She shines her celi- at the figure and-- "Kandi! , Are - are you with anyone?" She studders in a concerned voice. "N-no." She responds just as hesitant. "Did they send you to look for me?" "Nuh-uh" Summer replies. "What the heck are you doing this far away from Klan anyway?" Kandi explains how disappointed she was with her first camping experience. Summer heartfully agrees and the two go on about how they decided to go on a real camping trip! Giggling about how they snuck out at the same time and not even noticing! "I guess we were really quite then, huh?" Kandi nods at summer's statement. They did do a quite great job going unnoticed.
"And, uh, you know, We're only in the backyard. We need to be somewhere else to actually be camping, Kandi." "Oh, yeah! We should make this as close to real camping as we can! We can-" She pauses. "Uh, yeah, uh Summer?" "Huh?" "I've never been real camping before. You're the expert. What do we do?" ", " Summer looks down guilty. "I've never been real camping either, actually." "You've lived for two-hundred and fifty years and you're telling me you've - never - gone camping Summer?" She turns away. The two ponder over some ideas as they walk towards memory forest. So far they've established three things: It needs to be far from home. You need to have a fire. Lastly, you need to tell freak-out stories. "Hmm, Well, " "Well?" Summer repeats. They look at each other with a puzzled look on their face. "You have to know SOMETHING more about camping, Summer. Think back!" "Well, there was something Rossy told me once." She explains. "It was about an abandon campground near crystal lake." Kandi beckoned to continue." "Come on! Do tell!" "Well, " She starts. "There was a ghost living there, and it tried to murder her." "That's it!" Kandi exclaims. "Ghosts?" Summer asked. "No! If you want to camp, you need to have a lake!" "Oh!" Summer replies as though what Kandi said made perfect sense. "So, where do we get that?" Kandi almost answers, but instead dashes off in excitement. Summer also contemplates saying something, but shrugs and flies after her. They race around the trees until suddenly Kandi just stops in awe. "What's up? We aren't going to find your lake staring into space" "I, swear I heard a scream from that direction" "Huh? Why would that happen?" ", " ", Come on, Kandi. Don't let the midnight darkness get to you, you silly! Just, come on." Yeah. Coming, " They proceed more slowly this time. Advancing at adagio pace, the small unsure sound became clear and noticeable. "Devil's Tri-Tone!" Summer concludes Kandi gives her a confused look. "It's a train whistle. Mel taught me that" The friends continue to walk in that direction. Alone with Summer's occasional comments, ash also decided to contemplates. And a long with contemplation came suspicions. "Man, it's pretty dark out, huh?" "Like you said before, it's midnight." "Kandi responds.”Why do you think we didn't see a light when we heard the train?" "That was a long while back. We've been moving pretty fast, but that, horn, thing, seemed a while off." She contradicts "Think about it. Five minutes and you think you hear something, and then another five minutes and you clearly can tell it's a train. We weren't going as fast then, and we've been heading straight toward that direction for fifteen minutes now?" "Where are you going with this?" Kandi seems sort of worried. "If it was a train we heard, why haven't we seen any tracks?" The two stare at each other in a hidden concerned manner. They turn their heads at the same time and look behind. Summer shines her celi- to the ground to reveilles train tracks. A chill creeps up her spine and possesses her entire body as Summer drops her Celi- Sphere. She studders and panics while trying to force out her sentence. "We didn't- I didn't- Did you?" "No!" Kandi cries. Another short pause and the girls catch their breath and attempt to explain the situation. "I'm sure it was just, " She gulps ", just a matter of we didn't notice it, " It was undeniable. There was no explanation to explain why they didn't notice see any tracks earlier. The whistle is heard again, very small, like a scream in the distance. Kandi seems froze in her place Summer shoots her sight towards her and she starts shacking uncontrollably. "Summer I want to go home! I can't even find the lake now!" "Kandi! Chill out! It may be a little scary and curious, but-" the tri-tone went off again. This time it was closer. A light appears in the distance as Summer shrikes and runs and the two make a break for it. In the distance "heh heh." A laugh is heard. The figure seems to come out into the open area, now that Summer and Kandi had disappeared into the darkness. ", Syiniy, they're out!' It turns out to be Medlie. She crosses to some shrubs and helps her friend Syiny up. They converse some in the spot they're at before departure. "Woe, Mel! That whistle of yours really worked! What was it called again?" Syiny asked while giggling. "It's called Devil's Tri-Tone." We sure taught them not to go camping without us, huh?" "Heck yeah!!" "This thing worked like a charm!" "Hehe!" Mel began "and putting fake railroads down - Golden!" a puzzled look appears on Syiny's face as she looks down to the tracks below her. They were making marked MRS. Like Mel's initials, Medlie R Skyth "I thought you put those there?' A shining light is seen in a long distance. Medlie drops her flashlight and Syiny drops the whistle as a loud horn pierces the sky. The two are completely frozen as the forest starts to fall apart around them. As trees start to crash to the ground Mel and Syiny make a bee-line to as far away from the tracks as possible.

Kiba,
What a bold short story. It is very interesting, keep it up. Below are what I see faulty in your story.

In any given modern story, be it novel or whatever, we, as readers, must feel the sense of immediacy. You did a little of this, but not enough. We do not know how the weather is in your story. We do not completely feel the five senses, hearing, smelling, tasting,seeing, feeling.
We do not know how your characters look like, I mean Mel, Syiny, Vanila and Summer.

And all the dialogue should be in separate paragraph. You can improve your creativity by writing more and reading more, Then you may start writing by dividing your writing into 5 minutes writing segments. As you explore your personal creative writing path, one of the most important and interesting things that you’ll learn is that the writing world is a lot bigger than you ever thought. Indeed, most people can probably only name 3 or 4 different genres of writing; probably remembering, as best as they can, a recent trip to the bookstore. Yet the world of writing warmly embraces hundreds of different genres and sub-genres; and each one has its own theme, environment, and culture. It can take years for a creative writer to even explore a portion of this vast territory.

For some creative writers, the fact that there are so many different writing styles is somewhat daunting. For you, however, it should be inspiring. You should thrill at the thought of exploring different styles of writing, experimenting with them, playing in them, and carving out your own unique universe of words and ideas. Without doubt, some of the most creative works of creative writing have come from the fusion or synergy of different genres of writing.

What you should never feel is stuck inside your creative writing niche. For example, if you’re toiling away writing short stories and feel no life, and no energy in what you’re doing, then this is your wake-up call to investigate new genres and styles. Go to the bookstore and enter a section that you’ve never been in before; perhaps it will be historical fiction, or maybe romance. Explore these worlds to see how they’re landscaped, and how you can take from, or add to, the world that you see and feel.

All great creative writers are lifelong students of the craft; and this means knowing more than just about adjectives and dangling participles (which, indeed, some creative writers deliberately ignore). Great creative writers appreciate and respect all forms of writing, even if they concentrate on one or two to earn their living.

So make it your habit, as of today, to become a student of other creative writing styles. By doing this, you’ll not only add depth to your writing; you’ll add depth to yourself. And in a sense, that’s what creative writing is all about: going deeper.

There is a good link for you to get motivated and be a good creative writer. go to www.writeyournovel.biz.ly I bought the package at a very VERY and VERY cheap price for myself as well, and it has turned me into a writing machine. lol

I hope this help a little bit.

In Writing,
Cisse(The Author Of THE SOUL OF AN AFRICAN MAN)

This is too long and its not even pleasing to the eyes. Next time poster try using paragraphs or break the write-up so people would want to read it