THE EVENTFULL DAY
“No babe around masef” I said to myself as I drove around town. I'd just arrived in town and was looking for a good time. I Wasn't looking for anything special just a one night stand I didn't want any brothel stuff. I went to my friend mike's place I told him of my idea of having a good time and he said he'd join me. we stopped at a club but we didn't see any girls that caught our fancy. we went outside to get a breath of fresh air. Then something caught our attention, in front of a supermarket stood this sexy girl in a tight dress. her curves men!she had a big booty that was to die for. she was so beautiful. we couldn't believe what we were seeing!the animal in us took over and we struggled with each other before sprinting towards her. the distance was a little far but we didn't care. I even forgot I came along with a car. she saw us and stood there smiling in anticipation. we got there panting and violently pushed her out of the way!in front of the supermarket she stood was a sign that said“get your tomatoes for 20 naira a bucket!”

THE LOVER BOY
With a bouquet of rose flowers he stood. “I'll finally talk to her today” he says to himself “I'll pour out my heart to her” .He stood outside patiently waiting for her. Eventually she came out as beautiful as ever. the suns rays made her face glow,the wind blew through her hair as she walked towards him,she seemed one with nature. Her lavender perfume took over everywhere. Wait a minute!was she walking towards him? He couldn't believe it. this must mean the universe was on his side. He thanked the universe. He wouldn't let this opportunity pass him by. Then all of a sudden a car passed by and splashed water from a puddle on the road and it touched her face!everything got washed away the whole makeup! What he saw now took his breathe away she'd transformed into something else. he dropped the bouquet of flower he held!he turned and took to his heels! He didn't look back. Bleep the universe!“Wait!!”He said to himself“what am I doing?”He asked himself he ran back picked the flowers.“I ain't leaving this shit!” he said “its hard to get rose flowers in Nigeria you know!”he took to his heels again.

She walked into the banking hall, her pointed shoe announcing her arrival minutes before you saw her. She wore that kind of dress that convinces you that heaven is missing an angel. The aroma of her perfume would easily finish a bowl of eba for its sweetness. And the phone which she gingerly held to her ear, without minding the security guy frantically waving at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune. She stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and searched frantically for a pen. About five guys offered her their pens but, shame to bad people, she took mine maybe because I was closest to her. After a while, or a long while because time stood still, she stood up and inched closer to me. She whispered: "Please can you spell 'thirty' for me?" I looked down at her deposit slip in surprise. She'd written: 'tarty tausan'! Olodumare!!!!!! I hissed and snatched my biro from her hand. Fine face, no brains.

Husband: I lost my wife. She went shopping and hasn't come back. Inspector: What is her height? Husband: I never checked Inspector: Slim or robust? Husband: Not slim, may be robust. Inspector: Colour of her eyes? Husband: Never noticed Inspector: Color of hair? Husband: Changes according to season. Inspector: What was she wearing? Husband: Not sure if it was a dress or suit. Inspector: Was she driving? Husband: Yes. Inspector: Colour of car? Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power, teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and...and...(starts sobbing) Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car..

Nyx poem(the lover boy) ...keep it u