THE FIRST TIME
As the time approached,I grew restless. So obvious was my exuberance that a suckling child who religiously yearned for its mother's lactose would feel threatened. This was a girl I didn't know,someone I just stumbled upon in a randy night club. Don't get me wrong;this wasn't just a random sex worker or another one of those damsels of easy virtue. This was just a friend's girl that attended the birthday party at the club.

I thought I saw a GREEN light when this girl decided to dance with me. All my senses were telling me "Probably,she's intoxicated. The liquor's eroded her sense of reasoning."
Suddenly, she pushed me to the chair and got down on me and began to give me my very first lap dance. Boy! A sinister laugh enveloped my scrawny face. Immediately, I felt my 'big man' down there react to this sexual stimulus. Even 'my boy' knew this was something unusual,something better than that ticklish feeling you get when cleaning your ear. With all ferocity,'he' tugged at the the fly of my trousers,trying to break through my zipper all in a bid to investigate this luscious chunk of flesh that has come to awaken it from its slumber.

In my mind,I was like "Oh Lord! Let this girl not kill me in this place o. I don't want to die now." Without knowing the mental torture she was subjecting me to,she continued teasing me unabated. Suddenly,she turned and faced me directly, looking deep into my eyes like she actually kept something there. I was full with the craving for the touch of her lips on mine. Given the fact that I had seen her smooch a guy earlier on,it made me want my share of the Apple Pie. After much persuasion, she planted a quick kiss on my lips,with our lips interlocking for a glorious interval of 5 seconds.
Finally! I had experienced my first kiss. It wasn't much of an affair but I guess it was worthwhile. Later,after I was fagged out from so much dancing with other girls,I met the same damsel again;this time she was in the company of her boyfriend. She gave me a quick wink. Mehhnn! This night couldn't get any better. I felt like I was in the Seventh Heaven. Fast forward to a few hours later,I met her in the lobby of the hotel we lodged. One thing led to another and she was tailing behind me on the way to my hotel room.
Succinctly, we reached our destination and I welcomed her into my room. Subconsciously, I was like "Welcome to my abattoir,you will be slaughtered today" with a sinister grin on my face but nothing prepared me for the embarrassing turn of events that were to take place very soon.

Immediately she was in,I locked the doors with a double turn of the key and swiftly made my way to the toilet to get set for the 'football match'. Upon stripping off,I found out my 'big man' was limp and refused to respond,even at the sight of a sexually appealing lady in the room. I became tense. I tried stimulating it but it still wouldn't budge from its unattractive stance. "Ah! That old woman in my village has started her nonsense again. Why must she choose now of all days to ridicule me?" I asked myself this absurd question,expecting no answer. Then,she(the girl) called out and asked me what I was doing there that was taking so long. I told her to wait that I will be out in a second. Focusing back on my limp 'big man',I just couldn't understand it. "Ha! See gbese. But you were standing before naa. What is your problem now??" I then went back to the room on just my boxers and to await my fate. She saw me and asked what was wrong. I replied,saying I was okay.

I then tried to cuddle and caress her but she pushed me away. I lunged forward again for a second trial and she gave the same response. In my sexual naïvety,I became confused. I just looked at her and then told her to take off her dress let's do 'it' quickly. She didn't budge. The expression on her face changed in a nano second from perplexity to irritation to sudden anger. The next thing I saw was her raining a barrage of words on me,things like "What is the meaning of this...what do you take me for...you don't even know how to treat a lady right...do I look like a cheap slut to you?" and stuffs like that. I sat there motionless,staring at her angry figure. After like an eternity of hurling insulting words,she stormed out of the room. Through all these drama,my 'big man' down there still remained indifferent to the whole situation, maintaining its stance like the proverbial Prodigal Son.

This was meant to be my first time,yes. Now tell me,how was I ever to know that a lady likes being petted and fondled before the actual show with sweet love promises being cooed in her ear? How come I had never known or understood the meaning of that word pre-intimacy? Well,I guess I don't need to source for the answers to these questions because like they say,Experience is the best teacher and this is one hell of an experience that has given me a lifetime assignment and so many lessons to learn in order to forestall the future occurrence of such an event.
I later bumped into this same girl the next morning and I couldn't look her in the eyeball. I guess I still had butterflies in my stomach from the previous night. I have heard so much about people's First Time but I never envisaged that mine would be this embarrassing. But like a soldier who never backs down and surges forward,what else can I say but that the events of that terrible night would never repeat itself.



I am Whaley. A positivist and a connoisseur of literary artistry.

Ol

Hmmm..I need comments and criticisms. And by the way,this is not fiction please.

Not fiction... Man you are damn funny....