Correction! Igbo men give more attention to daughters - Godwin C. Nwaogwugwu -Washington DC, June 2016

Good Morning, Ladies & Gentlemen. Thanks for inviting me to shed some light on a 'hot' topic I presented few years ago that women have never been relegated in the Igbo culture, where I suggested that first daughters (Ada) are sometimes accorded more respect and attention than men in the same household, which is the topic for today.

The ‘Igbos’ is a tribe from the South-eastern extraction of the amalgamated former British Protectorates that make up modern day Nigeria. In this part of the country, descent can either be traced through a father (Patrilineal.) or Mother (Matrilineal). Therefore, it is erroneous to believe that all Igbo men go out of their way to have a male child because an Igbo man will not have a good rest until he has someone to inherit his ‘Obi’ (Ancestral home), usually a right traditionally reserved for the first son in Patrilineal cultures). Though it is true that in some Igbo communities female offspring still do not have the right of inheritance to their father’s ‘ANCESTRAL HOME’ (Please note the use and emphasis on ‘Ancestral Home’), other tangible and intangible assets of commercial values owned by such a man away from his ancestral home can still be shared among his children including female offspring.

However, the respect and love accorded a first daughter in Igboland is quite envious. I don’t know how many times I have seen a man wack the butt of his sons without asking questions because they made their sister cry even if she was outright wrong. A first daughter usually gets a lopsided big chunk of her father’s attention. Everyone in the family calls her ‘Adanne’ (first daughter), a title almost at par with ‘big sister’ even if she’s the youngest in the family.

The cries of an Ada (first Daughter) draws fury from her father and brothers (able bodyguards surrounding her). You disrespect her at your own peril. In the olden days, some Igbo communities fought tribal wars over the suspicious death of a married first daughter yet nobody gave a damn if Fifteen men died in the war. In modern days, I have seen Igbo men address their first daughters with such pet names usually reserved for someone closest to the heart, such as “My world”, “My Love”, “My Queen” while their wives cannot complain. The respect and love for her is often vocalized and personified unlike that of her brothers. Adaku (My wealth), Adaeze (My Princess), Adaure (My pride) Adamma (My beauty), Adaugo (my prestige), etc are popular Igbo names fathers give to their first daughters. She grows up to become the unappointed (often arrogant) judge over disputes between siblings. Her verdicts are final and unquestionable. This prestige also resonates during her marriage, as many families tend to either give closer attention to whom and where an Ada marries, or even charge a little higher bride price on her. The downside sometimes is that her quality formal education and training may be sacrificed, as she helps her family raise her siblings.

While a son is the symbol of strength, a daughter is the pride of an Igbo man, the crown of the home and the prestige of his family. Ada is powerful and she knows that. The fact that most men (including my own dad) died in the house of their first daughters while she was either taking care of his old-age or illness may justify the saying that she’s her father’s intangible life and health insurance.

Now do you understand why many Igbo men also whine and groan if they don’t have a daughter? It’s traditional, personal, emotional, social as well as spiritual. You may not understand. It’s therefore erroneous to believe that daughters are relegated in Igbo culture. Contrarily, they are powerful. This is one community, where you don’t mess with a man’s first daughter. Please don’t, you may spark unnecessary ‘civil war’ (laughs).

Godwin C. Nwaogwugwu - Washington DC
(Author, African Bedtime Stories/Movies)
Director, Imoonline Youth Entrepreneurship Development, Program, Owerri (A Grantee of US-Embassy, Abuja)

This is absolutely True