Prettiepearlz:

We had maids while we were growing up but they were way older than us, they had all passed the age of secondary school. My mum needed maids because ever since I knew her till date because she still works she leaves home by 5:00am for work. But she never beat any of them up because she will say she can't beat another person's child instead our maids beats us up when we misbehave and we loved them like our big sisters. So some people still needs help but having an underage is what I don't and won't support.

Simple!
I don't support any help below 18 yrs at all.
And to think she is beating her pisses me off . Maybe she is beating her badly to the extent the husband had to intervene. My dear in a gang of armed robbers, it's wise to fear the female robber, their heart dey for back.

chiomaabigail:
You didn't really read what I said. When I woke up this morning, to even greet me good morning was war. After scolding her on that one, I told her to go and take her bath after putting the water on the gas. She went in after wasting time, she wore her uniform without taking her bathe. That got me angry and I beat her up. Like I said before I don't beat her unless I have corrected her on a particular issues several times.


Anyway, thanks for your advice.

Madam, take it easy, I wasn't condemning you nor would I support what you did, I am only advising you to try another approach since beating isn't the best way to go about it. Don't make it look like I am condemning you. And there was no where in your write up that indicate you saying she didn't greet you in the morning. She is a kid and a kid will always behave like one, so try as much to understand her.

Prettiepearlz:

Madam, take it easy, I wasn't condemning you nor would I support what you did, I am only advising you to try another approach since beating isn't the best way to go about it. Don't make it look like I am condemning you. And there was no where in your write up that indicate you saying she didn't greet you in the morning. She is a kid and a kid will always behave like one, so try as much to understand her.

Thanks

femmefetale:


Simple!
I don't support any help below 18 yrs at all.
And to think she is beating her pisses me off . Maybe she is beating her badly to the extent the husband had to intervene. My dear in a gang of armed robbers, it's wise to fear the female robber, their heart dey for back.

Lol, I could remember a story my aunt came back telling us how she witnessed a small girl leading a robbery at bureau de change. There's nothing more damaging than inflicting pain on a minor, it destroys their self-esteem and sometimes they turn into something else. There is a lady that stays around my area here, it took a while before I knew that one of the kids staying with her isn't her daughter but her maid cos you will never know, she doesn't beat her up, and she dresses her well, when I say well, I mean well.

Madam I understand the pressure you're on. Its this same reason my mum always went for adult helps. Young ones can be frustrating to teach and re-teach everyday. My advice is for you and your husband to seat together and air out things. He may not be aware of how you feel. And please reduce the way you beat the kid. I've noticed that scolding works more than beating. You did well that she still goes to school. Many people won't have that good heart. If the problem is still getting out of hand, you can go for someone older. Take care.

chigoizie7:

Please tell this madam that I am in love with her, if she can treat her maid this way, only God knows how she treats her husband. These are the kind of friends I need in my life, not the ones that change maids like tissue paper.

Prettiepearlz:

Lol, I could remember a story my aunt came back telling us how she witnessed a small girl leading a robbery at bureau de change. There's nothing more damaging than inflicting pain on a minor, it destroys their self-esteem and sometimes they turn into something else. There is a lady that stays around my area here, it took a while before I knew that one of the kids staying with her isn't her daughter but her maid cos you will never know, she doesn't beat her up, and she dresses her well, when I say well, I mean well.

People just don't understand life and how to treat defenseless people. It's bad. There's nothing as painful as when someone does not have a voice. That's why a woman can inflict unprintable injuries on a maid her husband is having carnal knowledge of, forgetting that respect sometimes bring blind loyalty.

I can't have a maid my sons are older than sef, especially when dey get to puberty. Because I don't want that instance where they will creep away from bed at night to satisfy their /perversion".what If the maid keeps quiet?I may not even know .This is one of the things I consider before I will bring any help.


The protection of EVERY girl - child is a task that must be done.

chiomaabigail:

Thanks

You are welcome.

femmefetale:


Oga I know God has blessed but for saying this truth he will bless you even more. This woman is a child abuser. A 13 yrs old girl as maid? Nonsense!

couldn't agree with you more...she is here complaining yet she is maltreating another woman's daughter...thunder fire her

What a thread

femmefetale:



Who the fucck is this? What's my business if madness runs in your lineage?

You're just something else..

Get off my mentions with your uncouth attitudes.

femmefetale:



Who the fucck is this? What's my business if madness runs in your lineage?

That's where she got it wrong. Many people see it as normal having underage ids they can control instead of getting a paid employee who will tell them the terms and conditions for the house jobs.
Do not crucify the lady rather advice accordingly as she is in a tight fix..

jusRadical:



I am not against having housemaids.

I am against childmaid, below 18 years.

egopersonified:


Please tell this madam that I am in love with her, if she can treat her maid this way, only God knows how she treats her husband. These are the kind of friends I need in my life, not the ones that change maids like tissue paper.

Lolz, me too, I de commot cap for her. One lovely nice lady, but very friendly, many people for my area sabi mummy ifenna well well. Very very young, u know all these girls wey marry early.

femmefetale:


People just don't understand life and how to treat defenseless people. It's bad. There's nothing as painful as when someone does not have a voice. That's why a woman can inflict unprintable injuries on a maid her husband is having carnal knowledge of, forgetting that respect sometimes bring blind loyalty.

I can't have a maid my sons are older than sef, especially when dey get to puberty. Because I don't want that instance where they will creep away from bed at night to satisfy their /perversion".what If the maid keeps quiet?I may not even know .This is one of the things I consider before I will bring any help.


The protection of EVERY girl - child is a task that must be done.

Dear cool down ur blood is too hot or do u have any personal issue with op.

Some Nairalander's eee, Their mouths are worse than dat of poisonous snake.

For people dat are condemning underage house help, some parents can't even afford to feed their children not to talk of sending them to school. This is very bad and I pray it won't be our portion in Jesus name.


Back to matter, Op am not here to condem u (like some people who like condemning others whereas they are even doing d worse) I just want to be frank with you, No matter how stressful u think it will be, please and please forget maid matter. Some of them are evil, some can even give ur child urine as water. If u think u can't cope please hire someone dat comes in d morning and go in d evening (even at dat please don't fully entrust ur children affairs to him or her) He or she can help in laundering and keeping d house clean.

SirVintageCock:
Get off my mentions with your uncouth attitudes.

Prrrrrrrrh
I just asked a harmless question oooooo

Kaira333:
Dear cool down ur blood is too hot or do u have any personal issue with op.

Whose blood is hot

Kaira333:
Some Nairalander's eee, Their mouths are worse than dat of poisonous snake.
[s]
For people dat are condemning underage house help, some parents can't even afford to feed their children not to talk of sending them to school. This is very bad and I pray it won't be our portion in Jesus name[/s].


Back to matter, Op am not here to condem u (like some people who like condemning others whereas they are even doing d worse) I just want to be frank with you, No matter how stressful u think it will be, please and please forget maid matter. Some of them are evil, some can even give ur child urine as water. If u think u can't cope please hire someone dat comes in d morning and go in d evening (even at dat please don't fully entrust ur children affairs to him or her) He or she can help in laundering and keeping d house clean.

If you like speak grammar, that child should be taken back straight to her parents. She will be more productive there;!

Look at them. Accept for few ladies here, a lot supported this op . You guys are advising her, a grown woman how to treat other people's children. Ezigbo mmadus.
And another opened her mouth to say I should pray not to be In position not to take care of my children? All of you here messing up with other people's kids, you guys don't need advice at all. Wetin una need na better caning. As in better flogging just the way your maids get flogged. Yeye.

chigoizie7:




Lolz, abeg free d guy.



And I know of a woman like u that also has a maid.

But u will never know that she is a maid. She dare not lay a hand on her.

If u see where they are discussing, u will think they are partners in crime, but they are simply maid and madam. She is about the same age as ur maid.

When the madam is not around, she will do everything and when u ask her, she will be like, "haba, noo, my Aunty is just like a mother to me, she doesn't need to be angry with me biko, besides, it will pain me so much to see her angry".



Let me ask u, can this your maid, caution of ur stubborn child (spank him/her) in ur presence? This girl will do it and be like, " Aunty ifeena is too stubborn" and the madam will be like, "just beat him if he doesn't listen". This maid does not play with her madams kids, she takes them as her own little siblings.



One day, a woman came to their house to report to their madam that she over saw the maid giving her child water from the same cup she drank with.

The madam was so embarrassed by such report, but her response made the woman ashamed of herself. This is her response " it is even better that they share the same cup and d same water, @least, the maid knows too well than she can't drink unclean water neither can she make us of unclean cup for herself, so sharing the same water and cup with my child means that the water in question is clean same as d cup they both used".

Now, that is a real understanding between them. It does not mean that the maid does not mis behave or that madam does not scold her, but when such thing happens, the maid will know so well that she was @ fault.

Have u seen where madam will be fetching water and maid will be washing clothes or where maid will be fetching water and madam will be washing clothes including the maid own, or where they will both fetch water @ d same time, then one will washing and the other rinsing and spreading?

This is very rare, infact this is the first family I have seen living like that, everyone for our area dey commot cap for the madam.

NB. She is no way related to the madam nor the husband. When the maid visits her own family, she will be in a hurry to return to the madams family. And when she is ready to travel home, madam will buy so many things for her.




The madam is a busy woman, same as d husband, the only person she can trust with her kids and family is d maid, and to make sure the maid lives upto expectations, she makes sure the maid is always happy. Dey discuss like sisters. She attends same school with the kids, these type of school that has both primary and secondary.





What am I saying in essence? It might be hard for u to be the other woman, but please try to soften on the girl, the only reason why the girl kinda respects ur husband is because of his calmness. Please try to understand that violence is not always d answer. In the case of boiling water early in the morning while others are still sleeping, @times, try to wake up 1st B's time, put the water on fire and wake her up to bath, she is a helper, not a slave, let her know that she is also part of ur family and not your servant.

God bless you and yours. There's a woman I know in my area that treats her maid exactly the same way you have just mentioned. People should learn to be kind.

So you have a 13yr old child who isn't even grown enough to take care of herself entirely helping you take care of your own children? And you beat her up when she doesn't do things exactly as you want? Yes you're wicked. There's no other way to put it.
Send the child back to her parents and your husband should get off his phat asss and help you get the kids ready in the morning before you guys leave the house. He won't stop being a man if he does.
And yes I support him not being mean to her like you. You think taking your frustrations out on her will solve your problems?

Look at how you guys are denying this girl a chance to have a normal childhood. She's spending the years that she should be carefree and taken care of on your family helping you raise your own kids. Una no dey shame.

femmefetale:


If you like speak grammar, that child should be taken back straight to her parents. She will be more productive there;!

What is this one saying? She will be more productive when she can't take a square meal? See let me tell u I don't believe in having maids and I won't even have but some children are more responsible when they are not trained by their parents (especially those ones dat don't take their children's affairs serious) Mind you I don't support people dat maltreat their wards but remember not to spare d rod and spoil ur child(both ur own children and d so called maid) So please don't use ur saddness to cancel what I have written biko. I can see u are such a sad woman, please repent and take things easy. Inugo?

Kaira333:
What is this one saying? She will be more productive when she can't take a square meal? See let me tell u I don't believe in having maids and I won't even have but some children are more responsible when they are not trained by their parents (especially those ones dat don't take their children's affairs serious) Mind you I don't support people dat maltreat their wards but remember not to spare d rod and spoil ur child(both ur own children and d so called maid)[s] So please don't use ur saddness to cancel what I have written biko. I can see u are such a sad woman, please repent and take things easy. Inugo[/s]?

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Tell the op to return the child back to her parent. All these ones wey u dey talk na nonsense !

So this maid baths with cold water then your kids hot water?i saw where you said after putting water on the fire you asked her to go and have her bath.
Madam does she bath with cold water?
If yes that could be the reason she just wore her uniform
under age kids should be left with their parents and it is not your business if they can feed or go to school

femmefetale:


Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Tell the op to return the child back to her parent. All these ones wey u dey talk na nonsense !

Tell her urself in fact go to her house and drag d child out. Mumu.

That's probably the case.

Telling her to heat up water and while the water is heating up, she's bathing in the cold.

Yet madam doesn't know why the maid sees her as wicked

rolled:
So this maid baths with cold water then your kids hot water?i saw where you said after putting water on the fire you asked her to go and have her bath.
Madam does she bath with cold water?
If yes that could be the reason she just wore her uniform
under age kids should be left with their parents and it is not your business if they can feed or go to school

Na so some people will come for Nairaland d claim super woman, some de even wake up by 2:0 midnight. We know all of una make una continue d lies God is watching u people

Kaira333:
Tell her urself in fact go to her house and drag d child out. Mumu.

Madam, I didn't insult you ooooo.
Respect yourself!!

chiomaabigail:
Thanks, I have spoken gently to her several times, I only beat her when I have corrected her several times and she keeps repeating the same thing. I am not harsh on her. I do not know whether to mind my business and stop talking to her.

If she's your child will you say you want to mind you business and stop talking to her? For many years my mum and I did not see eye to eye because she was caning us like mad and we thought she was the most wicked woman in the world. Fast forward years later we are best of friends. She is my number one queen.

Imagine this girl is your child. How would you treat her if she came from your womb? Think of it and treat her exactly how you will treat your daughter. Forget about what she thinks of you because you didn't bring her into your home to score points in her good books. She is your maid, gaddemit! Give her hometraining and she will thank you in future, otherwise she will become rotten in your hands.

As for dh, threaten to leave her training to him. By the time she shows him pepper with her tardiness and naughtiness he will adjust himself and sit up

Madam Op I am more worried that you allow a 13year old to operate gas cooker early in the morning . Do you know anything about sleep walking (Anya ura). Safety is a serious business Chioma.

A lot of good advices has been given to you,listen and make adjustments and stop justifying your position. The truth is bitter. You and ur husband is not on the same page with the way you treat this child and it can bring rancor.
I know a woman that lost her home recently because of unnecessary contest with her husband over a ward(an orphan adopted by the man's family before their marriage). Her position was that the girl must leave while her husband said no. Consumed by anger,she stabbed her husband and the rest like they say is history.

A lot of the people bashing the op for having a 13 year old maid are hypocrites who don't know what they are saying. I have a family friend who has been keeping a maid since 2009. That's 7 years now. She brought in this little village girl when she was about 8 years old to assist her take care of her baby, and this girl has been with her ever since. I always meet her happy whenever I go visiting her hubby (he is my friend), she is well taken care of and goes to school.

Not all mistresses maltreat their maids and. 13 years is NOT too young to be a maid.