JOHN comes up to the LAGOS-COTONUO border
on his bicycle.
He's got two large bags over
his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says,
"What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answers JOHN.

The guard says,
"We'll just see about that ~
get off the bike."
The guard takes the bags
and rips them apart;
he empties them out and
finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains JOHN overnight
and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that
there is nothing in the bags.

The guard releases JOHN,
puts the sand into new bags,
hefts them onto the man's shoulders,
and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says JOHN.

The guard does his thorough examination
and discovers that the bags
contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to JOHN,
who crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated
every week for three years.
Finally, JOHN doesn't show up one day
and the guard meets him in a RESTURANT in LAGOS.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard,
"I know you are smuggling something.
It's driving me crazy.
It's all I think about.
Just between you and me,
what are you smuggling?"

JOHN sips his beer and says,
"Bicycles."
----------------------------------

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.

PETE EDOCHIE and ONYEKA ONWUENU went on a camping trip in a small town near the cameroun border.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, PETE awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "ONYII, look up and tell me what you see."

ONYEKA replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

ONYEKA pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"

PETE was silent for a minute, then spoke. "ONYEKA, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."

Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said,
"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."



After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John."

"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.



On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."

"I quit," said Brother John.



"It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

A lady walked into a drugstore in CALABAR and told the CHEMIST she needed some POISON right away. The CHEMIST naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need POISON?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The CHEMIST's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you POISON to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any POISON!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the CHEMIST's wife.

The CHEMIST looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."wait let me get the bottle.
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It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.