Goodmorning everyone in the house...so sometimes last year,I met a very honest,gentle, matured and a bit judgmental man online..I grow to love and trust him so much.

Sometimes he just stops calling calling either when I say what I wasn't meant to say or maybe when he says he wants to send something to me..there was a time he stopped calling for 2 weeks,I was the one at fault so I kept calling and messaging him but he never answered. I sent my sister and my male friend to call him but he didn't pick, being that he didn't have their no's.
After 2 weeks,I said hi and he responded,he then told me that he didn't like the many calls and messages, that anytime he is not talking I should just let him be,that when he is fine he will talk to me,that his family knows him for that.


3 months ego,he was meant to send something for me....he promised.... Then he stopped talking to me a day to the day.I called he didn't pick so I let him for some days and called again he didn't pick, sent messages but no response so I left him...all these while I was so worried and angry, I was angry cos the relationship is not all about him,it hurts me when he is not talking to me...I was also worried cos I wanted to be Sure he was fine but I didn't want to repeat what I did the other time by calling all the time which he said he didn't like.Im someone who gives advice to people and it works fine for them so I was wondering what I was doing wrong.


About a month and 2 weeks,he used an accident scene as his dp and wrote... Rip chika, u were a friend and a brother, I will for ever miss u..when I saw this, I became more worried and started calling him again but he didn't pick, I sent a message that he should please pick his call telling him that everything is not about dating or money,that we can still be friends even if he didn't want the relationship any more.some days later he called and told me he had and accident with his best friend and he died..on his on side that he had seizure,can't walk well and so many other things........said he didn't know if he could make it,I praid for him and told him to stop thinking the way he was thinking.

Everyday when I come online and call him,he wouldn't pick and I will drop a message. Sometimes when he picks, he will always say his back was paining him and couldn't talk and I will let him be..the night he told me about the accident, I did a midnight prayer and started putting him in my prayers everyday.

Everyday I will come online and ask him if we could talk and he will say no,he was having pains and I will let him be...at a time I wasn't calling everyday cos he said he was having a lot of pains and couldn't talk then..

One day as we were talking, he told me the accident happened 2 weeks ego and this was a month plus that he stopped talking to me,i became angry but didn't show it.
One day he called and asked if I had moved on,I told him yes that since he left me nau...I said that to know what he would say cos there was really no one...but instead, he started telling me how the accident thing was all a game he decided to play with his friend and that I moved on so easily, he was looking for a special kind of woman... This is after 2months plus that he decided to tell me all these.

He said Im a reserved lady who doesnt sleep around but i didn't call like I was meant to when he stopped talking to me And so many other things he said.. He said he had found someone else and wouldn't be talking to 2 ladies at the same time....I tried telling him why I did all that I did but he wouldn't have any of that.. Since the last time we spoke, I have not been able to reach him again.

This is the only guy that has been able to bring love back into my life after my last failed relationship that almost cost me my life..
I told him from the beginning how soft my heart
Is and I wouldn't be able to take another heart break. So that's why I'm here,maybe I will feel better or responsible for this.

Sometimes maybe seeming desperate isnt such a good idea. He saw signs of desperation and decided to move on. Furthermore, he could possibly be married and just finding a way to bail out. Dust ur shoes babe and move on. No time to waste time!

Thanks my dear but no I didn't show him I was desperate I say so because,at the beginning when ever he was angry, I will not bother to call him,at the end he will call and start telling me how I wasn't caring and all.



X

StPete:
Sometimes maybe seeming desperate isnt such a good idea. He saw signs of desperation and decided to move on. Furthermore, he could possibly be married and just finding a way to bail out. Dust ur shoes babe and move on. No time to waste time!

If u love a man, stand with him all thro, never be d one to call it quits! No matter what!! For God's sake, u are a potential mother and good mothers dont quit. He is going to be yur first son. He is going to hand over his life to u. After God u are going to be d major decider whether he'd live long or die young; whether he have peace at home or writh in chaos and pain. Before he could do the handing over of his life to u, he must have some level of trust. Each man has his own way of finding out the one thing he craves. U d lady cannot fake who u are not when d scrutiny is from a MAN.
From what I see, he seems to love u. He will come back. He may do worst when he comes. This things doesnt have expo, it will be spontaneous either in conversation or action. But, no matter how u try, u will never see it coming, if he is a real man. Just be who u are. Good luck

He is married, move on!! Don't let anyone deceive you in the name of testing your qualities. If you don't love yourself much more, you will always be a victim of battered heart. This man is very fake, a liar and am sure a cheat too, obviously playing kalokalo with your heart. You told him your heart is fragile and you truly believe most men will give a shi*t about that before breaking it again? Woman up please, forget this guy because nothing good will ever come out of this shady character.

Thanks my dear, I didn't leave him and I have not left him still. On my own I wouldn't have done anything to hurt him.


quote author=nairalife2013 post=48048340]If u love a man, stand with him all thro, never be d one to call it quits! No matter what!! For God's sake, u are a potential mother and good mothers dont quit. He is going to be yur first son. He is going to hand over his life to u. After God u are going to be d major decider whether he'd live long or die young; whether he have peace at home or writh in chaos and pain. Before he could do the handing over of his life to u, he must have some level of trust. Each man has his own way of finding out the one thing he craves. U d lady cannot fake who u are not when d scrutiny is from a MAN.
From what I see, he seems to love u. He will come back. He may do worst when he comes. This things doesnt have expo, it will be spontaneous either in conversation or action. But, no matter how u try, u will never see it coming, if he is a real man. Just be who u are. Good luck[/quote]

No reasonable man will put a lady thro what he knows is much tougher than what her natural nature can bear. If u are temperamental, pls dis guy is not for u. It could be he doesn't need such a lady, even if u are dangote's dota or kim kadashan,the lady with d legendary booty n a$$

Ok thanks



uote author=byvan03 post=48048396]He is married, move on!! Don't let anyone deceive you in the name of testing your qualities. If you don't love yourself much more, you will always be a victim of battered heart. This man is very fake, a liar and am sure a cheat too, obviously playing kalokalo with your heart. You told him your heart is fragile and you truly believe most men will give a shi*t about that before breaking it again? Woman up please, forget this guy because nothing good will ever come out of this shady character. [/quote]

Thanks.that is why I'mhere so i can stop blaming myself for what happened.


e

nairalife2013:
No reasonable man will put a lady thro what he knows is much tougher than what her natural nature can bear. If u are temperamental, pls dis guy is not for u. It could be he doesn't need such a lady, even if u are dangote's dota or kim kadashan,the lady with d legendary booty n a$$

Move on dear. There are many sick, abusive and manipulative people walking around. When they fail at manipulating you, they try to gaslight you into thinking you did something wrong.

As my best friend would say, God has called us to a soft life

You matter honey, so, free your mind, and move on. That was his mess, not yours.

Let me tell u something that could be of interest to u. Many women have the spirit of pride subconsciously, thatz for those that are not full blowned. Some of those ladies inherited it and live with it unknowingly while thinking the are d best of ladies in character. Do u know thses type of ladies are timebomb. How do u know and kill d spirit of such trait that is just in hibernation mode. Dont just look at love,look at many other things, including hate. Hate in marriage is real. Explore d mindset and acertain the peak of anger. Note the extremist theories in relationship and acertain the level of practicalities in her real life. U cant do more than u are made of.

This guy is clearly not interested in you. He also told you straightup that he has someone else. Stop contacting him and move on with your life, please.

byvan03:
He is married, move on!! Don't let anyone deceive you in the name of testing your qualities. If you don't love yourself much more, you will always be a victim of battered heart. This man is very fake, a liar and am sure a cheat too, obviously playing kalokalo with your heart. You told him your heart is fragile and you truly believe most men will give a shi*t about that before breaking it again? Woman up please, forget this guy because nothing good will ever come out of this shady character.

For the first time in history, i am agreeing with byvan.

Op this guy used u, sorry to say. I started out thinking he was an introvert, a shy person, but after i read about the accident drama its so obvuous he never really liked u. You're the one that have been in love with him, showing him all the attention, calling him, praying etc. He just used the accident case as an excuse to dump u.

Do you even know his house?
Have u guys ever had sex?


Babe forget him. He never really cared. 70% chance he's married sef and the whatsapp number u have is not his real busy number.


Forget the guy and move on.

Why am still here is dat a real man can tell a good girl by just listening or reading between her lines. A man would say two words just to trigger a hundred from u. Then he will pretend to be busy with a deaf ear awhile he is all ears to yur flow. Then comes the time to sieve....

From what I can deduce from ur post,u and this guy have a distance relationship,when u're in love with someone u really want to see them,even if u feel u shld test such person such test shouldn't be to d extreme,he played with ur heart truly cos he knows u are inlove and soft to handle, I suspect dis guy is married or about too,and just looking for a way to discard u.
Pls move on since he said he has already moved on too.

5minsmadness:


For the first time in history, i am agreeing with byvan.

Op this guy used u, sorry to say. I started out thinking he was an introvert, a shy person, but after i read about the accident drama its so obvuous he never really liked u. You're the one that have been in love with him, showing him all the attention, calling him, praying etc. He just used the accident case as an excuse to dump u.

Do you even know his house?
Have u guys ever had sex?


Babe forget him. He never really cared. 70% chance he's married sef and the whatsapp number u have is not his real busy number.


Forget the guy and move on.

Karbridals, that man was not into you. From the start. Oh, yeah, when you guys started, he was all over you because new toys are interesting to small boys. But his interest waned and he moved on. You didn't do anything wrong so it would be damaging for you to blame yourself for his lack of serious interest. Please move on. Remember this, several men have found good relationships without having to "test" anyone through silly mindgames. Once anyone starts disappearing and not picking calls, assume it's because he has found a new toy. If he ever tries to come back, please don't let him.

Babe you need to learn to Love yourself!

OK,thanks a lot.





quote author=Onegai post=48050581]Karbridals, that man was not into you. From the start. Oh, yeah, when you guys started, he was all over you because new toys are interesting to small boys. But his interest waned and he moved on. You didn't do anything wrong so it would be damaging for you to blame yourself for his lack of serious interest. Please move on. Remember this, several men have found good relationships without having to "test" anyone through silly mindgames. Once anyone starts disappearing and not picking calls, assume it's because he has found a new toy. If he ever tries to come back, please don't let him.[/quote]

Thanks everyone.I don't think he is married cos we did video call everyday,when he is cooking,on the road, very where...no we never had sex and we have not seen before.

I wanted to get other people's view cos the whole thing is not making me think well. Like I know this is not true but I couldn't stop feeling responsible for the break up.

The guy just used O.p to play ball anyhow.

If u marry dis kind of guy and he take offense at a small thing, for months he'll be behaving moody towards his wife and keeping grudges.

If he likes you or not... He should just tell u straight away... What's it with all des accident set up and drama ?

I can't keep dat kind of person as a casual friend sef...

Their attitude will annoy the hell out of u

karbridals:
Goodmorning everyone in the house...so sometimes last year,I met a very honest,gentle, matured and a bit judgmental man online..I grow to love and trust him so much.

Sometimes he just stops calling calling either when I say what I wasn't meant to say or maybe when he says he wants to send something to me.. there was a time he stopped calling for 2 weeks,I was the one at fault so I kept calling and messaging him but he never answered. I sent my sister and my male friend to call him but he didn't pick, being that he didn't have their no's.
After 2 weeks,I said hi and he responded,he then told me that he didn't like the many calls and messages, that anytime he is not talking I should just let him be,that when he is fine he will talk to me,that his family knows him for that.


3 months ego,he was meant to send something for me....he promised.... Then he stopped talking to me a day to the day.I called he didn't pick so I let him for some days and called again he didn't pick, sent messages but no response so I left him...all these while I was so worried and angry, I was angry cos the relationship is not all about him,it hurts me when he is not talking to me...I was also worried cos I wanted to be Sure he was fine but I didn't want to repeat what I did the other time by calling all the time which he said he didn't like.Im someone who gives advice to people and it works fine for them so I was wondering what I was doing wrong.


About a month and 2 weeks,he used an accident scene as his dp and wrote... Rip chika, u were a friend and a brother, I will for ever miss u..when I saw this, I became more worried and started calling him again but he didn't pick, I sent a message that he should please pick his call telling him that everything is not about dating or money,that we can still be friends even if he didn't want the relationship any more.some days later he called and told me he had and accident with his best friend and he died..on his on side that he had seizure,can't walk well and so many other things........said he didn't know if he could make it,I praid for him and told him to stop thinking the way he was thinking.

Everyday when I come online and call him,he wouldn't pick and I will drop a message. Sometimes when he picks, he will always say his back was paining him and couldn't talk and I will let him be..the night he told me about the accident, I did a midnight prayer and started putting him in my prayers everyday.

Everyday I will come online and ask him if we could talk and he will say no,he was having pains and I will let him be...at a time I wasn't calling everyday cos he said he was having a lot of pains and couldn't talk then..

One day as we were talking, he told me the accident happened 2 weeks ego and this was a month plus that he stopped talking to me,i became angry but didn't show it.
One day he called and asked if I had moved on,I told him yes that since he left me nau...I said that to know what he would say cos there was really no one...but instead, he started telling me how the accident thing was all a game he decided to play with his friend and that I moved on so easily, he was looking for a special kind of woman... This is after 2months plus that he decided to tell me all these.

He said Im a reserved lady who doesnt sleep around but i didn't call like I was meant to when he stopped talking to me And so many other things he said.. He said he had found someone else and wouldn't be talking to 2 ladies at the same time....I tried telling him why I did all that I did but he wouldn't have any of that.. Since the last time we spoke, I have not been able to reach him again.

This is the only guy that has been able to bring love back into my life after my last failed relationship that almost cost me my life..
I told him from the beginning how soft my heart
Is and I wouldn't be able to take another heart break. So that's why I'm here,maybe I will feel better or responsible for this.

Do you see what I see?

~ This is purely an online relationship. Neither of you have met each other face-to-face to ascertain your real characters, yet you make (financial?) demands on someone you know next to nothing about? To the point where he feels cornered to making you promises he either can't keep or has no intention of keeping. How are you any different to an online scammer grooming his intended victims? And yet you wonder why he treats you with little or no respect?

~ You bombard his line with countless calls and messages. I used to think this was the exclusive preserve of your average male psycho but you've proven the adage right what a man can do, a woman can do even better. Calling a guy 100 times in 10 minutes is no proof of your measure of "love", but rather portrays you as a certified nut case. An online stalker / crazy chick to be avoided at all costs.

~ You've obviously not healed from the breakdown of your last relationship and have entered a new one on the rebound, hence your clinginess and desperation which any male can smell off you for miles on end.

I'm sorry girl but there are so many more things wrong with your approach which I can point out but these should do for now. You're in no fit state to enter another relationship so soon and you need to go cool off your heels and learn to love yourself more.

I'm not saying this man is a saint or faultless but you need to go work on yourself. Once you do that, men would respect you more. Right now you're being treated the way you are, solely on how you've presented yourself and right now, not in a very good light.

One more thing, you should be grateful he's declined meeting you in person (with his crazy reasons), because married or not, he could and can take advantage of your vulnerable state. Painful yes, but see this as a lucky escape on your part.

Madam Karbridals,

You just dogded a bullet. Go and do thanksgiving in church or your mosque.
You will suffer so much emotional abuse and be thinking of suicide if you continue a relationship with such a man.
He may as well be married as someone else pointed out.

Life isn't so difficult, and relationships shouldn't be so tasking.

Look for your own man, you win some and lose some.
Don't forget that its better to be late and get it right than to rush into marriage and rush out afterwards

nairalife2013:
If u love a man, stand with him all thro, never be d one to call it quits! No matter what!! For God's sake, u are a potential mother and good mothers dont quit. He is going to be yur first son. He is going to hand over his life to u. After God u are going to be d major decider whether he'd live long or die young; whether he have peace at home or writh in chaos and pain. Before he could do the handing over of his life to u, he must have some level of trust. Each man has his own way of finding out the one thing he craves. U d lady cannot fake who u are not when d scrutiny is from a MAN.
From what I see, he seems to love u. He will come back. He may do worst when he comes. This things doesnt have expo, it will be spontaneous either in conversation or action. But, no matter how u try, u will never see it coming, if he is a real man. Just be who u are. Good luck

What is this one saying? Quiet will you

WellEndowed:


What is this one saying? Quiet will you

Buhahaha

My dear I can't believe u called me those names without asking me first.
Did I ever tell u I asked him for money or he said he was going to send me some money own his own when I was sick?

Again u didn't ask when my first relationship ended but u just insulted me for going into another...if u must know,its more than 2 years since my last relationship ended. Friends were even very angry with me for not being able to move on after so long.

The first time time we had issues,he was the one that called first and said I was not showing like I care.the second time,I was the one who called and he didn't pick I continued days after.and this last time that I didn't call like the other time,did it make it any better.

He once told me I'm the most difficult person at first,but he could see I had become so comfortable with him cos he made me trust him.
I built a very tall wall around me when I first met him but cos of his honesty and all, I had to break it down.












quote author=EfemenaXY post=48052942]

Do you see what I see?

~ This is purely an online relationship. Neither of you have met each other face-to-face to ascertain your real characters, yet you make (financial?) demands on someone you know next to nothing about? To the point where he feels cornered to making you promises he either can't keep or has no intention of keeping. How are you any different to an online scammer grooming his intended victims? And yet you wonder why he treats you with little or no respect?

~ You bombard his line with countless calls and messages. I used to think this was the exclusive preserve of your average male psycho but you've proven the adage right what a man can do, a woman can do even better. Calling a guy 100 times in 10 minutes is no proof of your measure of "love", but rather portrays you as a certified nut case. An online stalker / crazy chick to be avoided at all costs.

~ You've obviously not healed from the breakdown of your last relationship and have entered a new one on the rebound, hence your clinginess and desperation which any male can smell off you for miles on end.

I'm sorry girl but there are so many more things wrong with your approach which I can point out but these should do for now. You're in no fit state to enter another relationship so soon and you need to go cool off your heels and learn to love yourself more.

I'm not saying this man is a saint or faultless but you need to go work on yourself. Once you do that, men would respect you more. Right now you're being treated the way you are, solely on how you've presented yourself and right now, not in a very good light.

One more thing, you should be grateful he's declined meeting you in person (with his crazy reasons), because married or not, he could and can take advantage of your vulnerable state. Painful yes, but see this as a lucky escape on your part.


[/quote]

Which honesty are you talking about, someone you never met? How did you manage to fall so hopelessly in love with an unknown individual? You really need to work on yourself, if you continue like this you go injureoooo!!!


That you see him on Skype doesn't really tell his marital status. In this age of couple living separately due to work issues, anyone can be married. Seems he showcased lots of swags, because something must have caught your fancy which made you believe that you are in love. You are infatuated by his online persona, that's all. Go and meet real people, forget this online thing jare.

An online relationship where you guys haven't even seen face to face and you are already bringing your issues here. I would have given you advice but your relationship with him isn't real. So let it pass

byvan03:
Which honesty are you talking about, someone you never met? How did you manage to fall so hopelessly in love with an unknown individual? You really need to work on yourself, if you continue like this you go injureoooo!!!


That you see him on Skype doesn't really tell his marital status. In this age of couple living separately due to work issues, anyone can be married. Seems he showcased lots of swags, because something must have caught your fancy which made you believe that you are in love. You are infatuated by his online persona, that's all. Go and meet real people, forget this online thing jare.

D babe matter tire me o. Ordinary online relationship she just dey claim love. She should go and get a life jare

If I must I must understand you,it's a crime for one to meet someone online,u have never done it,no one has ever done it and people have stopped doing?it has never worked for anyone?has stopped working and will never work for anyone again.

U can meet anyone any where,even as I'm writing this there are a lot of people are into it,it will work for some and wouldn't work for some.
Have u never dated someone u met online before.

U said I should work on myself,if I may ask.. What area exactly? I should have continued being difficult like I was from the begging? Its either I'm in the relationship or I'm out..what's the use of being with him if I couldn't trust him a little?

U might be the one person dating someone u met online but u are saying I should forget online guys and look for people around me,these people online,aren't they humans? Arent u online too,does that make u a bad person?






















quote author=byvan03 post=48055055]Which :Phonesty are you talking about, someone you never met? How did you manage to fall so hopelessly in love with an unknown individual? You really need to work on yourself, if you continue like this you go injureoooo!!!


That you see him on Skype doesn't really tell his marital status. In this age of couple living separately due to work issues, anyone can be married. Go and meet real people, forget this online thing jare.[/quote]

What kinda stupid tests be that? How can you be putting someone you claim to love through such emotional stress all in the name of testing them... Testing what exactly?

Seems you were enjoying the emotional torture... You should be happy you are no longer with him.... If you marry someone of that sort, he can give you silent treatment for months even while living in the same house with him.. so childish... He thinks it's all about him... even had the guts to blame you for everything after he broke communication for months. ..

My dear move on, you deserve better. .. and he could even be fake as many people pointed out. .

Thanks so much my dear, I'm getting myself back knowing it wasn't my fault after all.









quote author=PresVA post=48055987]What kinda stupid tests be that? How can you be putting someone you claim to love through such emotional stress all in the name of testing them... Testing what exactly?

Seems you were enjoying the emotional torture... You should be happy you are no longer with him.... If you marry someone of that sort, he can give you silent treatment for months even while living in the same house with him.. so childish... He thinks it's all about him... even had the guts to blame you for everything after he broke communication for months. ..

My dear move on, you deserve better. .. and he could even be fake as many people pointed out. .[/quote]