I meet my husband in 2011, it was his mother that told him about me {I don't know the mum before).both of us don't know each other

Many suitors came to ask my hand in marriage from when I was in Jss1. My mum wanted me to get married her reason was that she want her kids to marry early .Note( she pushed my elder Sister to marry at the age of 14 which resulted her aborting 4 kids.thank God she is married to different man with 3 kids .

At the end I got married at 18 to a man I know noting about, no love, no feelings .
I was told that with time it will develop, he liked me at first sight I am average in height , fair,big boobs,back and beautiful.

In other hand , he is almost the same height with me but a bit taller, dark, big belle and small handsome.
I was a virgin when we meet but no one knew about it . I had boyfriend but we only kiss and romance (I was afraid to get pregnant because my mum will kill me.she calls me Ashawo because he tot I sleeps around.

After our introduction my parents asked me to follow him and know where he is living (he is lives in far North) The first time he hit me was when he wanted to go out in the night I jokely stopped him,blocked the door told him that he will not leave only me at home immediately he slapped me two times (stars came out of my eyes) he pushed me and left. The beating continued but I didn't tell any one.

we had our white and traditional marriage the same day on December 2013 31 ,I wanted to say no but I was afraid of what my relatives and society will say . through out the wedding I was smiling but it not genuine.


After the wedding the beating continued, he abuse me physical and emotionally. I have lost my self esteem,he lives the house and comes back late hour everyday.

No child yet, did I mention dat I had 3 miscarriages.Am not a saint either but i don't nag ,i don't ask him where he is coming from any more . bt still he calls me names when ever i open gate for him am dying inside. he calls me badluck .
I want to have my own kids .
He is 11years older than him


I told him yesterday nite when he came back dat I will be traveling, he asked when and where am I travelling to I told him its my parents house. he chased me out of our matrimonial bed and said that I am of no use. that i have no kids for him. God knows that am not happy with my condition.he promise that he will help me further my education, now he asked me to born for him first

I want to go and stay in my parents house for a month or more at least to have peace of mind.

Am I taking the best decision or should I stay and endure?
The truth is that I am not happy in this marriage. I may die of depression soon.

This is what happens when u obey your parents against ur own will

You're about 23yrs years now and you're young enough to start a new life if you want that.You're in a sham of a marriage and I don't know how long you can be in that ?You didn't mention your father?

talk2alabama:
This is what happens when u obey your parents against ur own will

It is not her fault, our religion and tradition teach us to obey our parents, no matter what.

Mehn this is a cage and not marriage if everything is as you said it!

Does he cheat on you? Or just beating?

Pending your answer, i won't advise you to divorce though you nade the mistake at first instance by going for you mum's selfith wish instad of love.

My mum always says "do not mary out if sympathy"

You jokingly stopped him by blocking his way?
I never knew that was a form of joke.

Flexherbal:
It is not her fault, our religion and tradition teach us to obey our parents, no matter what.

thats true, but not to the detriment of one's future. So ur dad tells u to eat poison and u obey ryt? Eh Mr man

You are still young, you don't have a child with this man because your God is offering you a second chance. Take it while you can, carve a new life for yourself.

Flexherbal:
It is not her fault, our religion and tradition teach us to obey our parents, [/b]no matter what.[b]

How about persuation for them to come over to your side. Parents can also be wrong you know, If you are sure you are on the right track why not bring them over to your side, it may take time though and some parents can be difficult.

I understand your point anyway.

You compromised your heart....

You should have followed your heart by rejecting his proposal though you were young....

Are your both parents are of this development?

May be he's angry at your Childlessness both i thinnk that shouldn't be thrown at you alone.

Initiate both families and let them know this so he can state the reason for this ungodly act....

For the fact that he met you a virgin means the fault of not being to conceive is from him and I'm sure he knows it. That marriage is a sham and should never had happened. There's no love, no affection, no respect and to compound it all you're physically and emotionally abused non-stop.

Try prevailing on your parents and give them reasons why it can't work then quit it. Of a truth, it can't work and the earlier you move on the better.

mumtriplet2:

I was told that with time it will develop, he liked me at first sight I am average in height , fair,big boobs,back and beautiful.

mumtriplet2:

In other hand , he is almost the same height with me but a bit taller, dark, big belle and small handsome.

mumtriplet2:

I was a virgin when we meet but no one knew about it . I had boyfriend but we only kiss and romance (I was afraid to get pregnant because my mum will kill me.she calls me Ashawo because he tot I sleeps around.

mumtriplet2:

After our introduction my parents asked me to follow him and know where he is living (he is lives in far North) The first time he hit me was when he wanted to go out in the night I jokely stopped him,blocked the door told him that he will not leave only me at home immediately he slapped me two times (stars came out of my eyes) he pushed me and left. The beating continued but I didn't tell any one

stop here please.. you're to funny! i might pee

Ewizard:












stop here piease.. you're to funny! i might pee

Bomb everywhere, I wanted to die... *crying* *sob* *sob*


I almost clicked submit earlier using one of my gifs to express myself, but had to hold myself back cos I thought it would be insensitive.

Hello beautiful, fair, black, and big boobs... you should leave that man while you still have youth on your side, life is too short to be wasting all your sexy physical assets on the numbskull.


Cc: mumtriplet2

Ewo
Wait and die
You hear
Shior

crackhaus:

Bomb everywhere, I wanted to die... *crying* *sob* *sob*
I almost clicked submit using one of my gifs to express myself, but had to hold myself back cos I thought it would be insensitive.

my tommy ooo! Jeez!

i couldnt help it ma brof...

PushPlay:
You jokingly stopped him by blocking his way?

I never knew that was a form of joke.

It is, that's why he had to respond with two slaps jokingly.

U mistake is listening 2 ur mum in the first place and 2 talk 2 her abt it is a no no coz she won't buy into ur idea so follow ur heart.

crackhaus:

It is, that's why he had to respond with two slaps jokingly.

And he jokingly continued beating her.



People should stop blaming her parents. Op just can't leave with that man in peace without causing trouble.

thorpido:
You're about 23yrs years now and you're young enough to start a new life if you want that.You're in a sham of a marriage and I don't know how long you can be in that ?You didn't mention your father?

Tnx everyone for your advice .


My father loves my mum soo much that he agree with whatever she say in other to make her happy.
My father is Educated and civilised.

PushPlay:


And he jokingly continued beating her.



People should stop blaming her parents. Op just can't leave with that man in peace without causing trouble.

The stars had no choice but to come out of someone's eyes jokingly.

mumtriplet2:


Tnx everyone for your advice .


My father loves my mum soo much that he agree with whatever she say in other to make her happy.
My father is Educated and civilised.

Your father being educated should have known the importance of educating his children.
Your sister was married off at age 14!!
Your parents have wronged you and your siblings. You should let them know they're to blame for everything. Go back home to them, and let them know all you've been going through, and how they have exposed your life to danger.
Now you're older, not educated, no worthwhile skills, nothing!!
Well, my advice to you is to leave the immediate danger you're in right now, and go back home for a while. Then learn a skill. Tailoring is a nice solid vocation you can learn. There are other things you can learn out there too. You can ask a loan from your parents to do that, but I have a feeling they're not financially buoyant enough and that's why they married you girls off so young.

PushPlay:


And he jokingly continued beating her.



People should stop blaming her parents. Op just can't leave with that man in peace without causing trouble.

I agree that am not a saint either.I have my own fault as well but he has never considered my age from day one.
He is 11 years older than me.


when he married me. .....I consult him before do anything, cook (before I cook I will ask him what he want to eat). ....I started it from day one because there is how I grew up. My parents can't do anything without discussion it .....

He beat me any time I made mistake instead of correcting me.
I called him one day told him how I feel .begged him to correct me in low tune but he said he can do what ever he likes.


He enjoy beating and ask for forgiveness after.






I have never been a burden to him,don't buy cloth unless we are traveling, have never send any money to my parents or relatives but he still claim that I steal and give my people his money.

Sister...... I see you are doing all you can to make your marriage work.

Please have you involved his folks? Like discussing this issue of constant physical abuse with his family members for their intervention.

Please let your parents know you are not enjoying your marriage.
Your mom should know she made a mistake by forcing you into marriage with a man she doesn't know too well.

Please open your mind to all options including divorce as last resort.

mumtriplet2:


I agree that am not a saint either.I have my own fault as well but he has never considered my age from day one.
He is 11 years older than me.


when he married me. .....I consult him before do anything, cook (before I cook I will ask him what he want to eat). ....I started it from day one because there is how I grew up. My parents can't do anything without discussion it .....

He beat me any time I made mistake instead of correcting me.
I called him one day told him how I feel .begged him to correct me in low tune but he said he can do what ever he likes.


He enjoy beating and ask for forgiveness after.


I have never been a burden to him,don't buy cloth unless we are traveling, have never send any money to my parents or relatives but he still claim that I steal and give my people his money.

I don't usually judge from one sided stories like this.
I'm pretty sure he will also have a lot to say about you if we ask him .

Not to justify the fact that he brats you up but such things can be avoided.

crackhaus:
The stars had no choice but to come out of someone's eyes jokingly.

lmao... ona nor go kill person for this nairaland

mumtriplet2,

Pls leave that environment you are as soon as possible so we dont hear stories that touch.
I will remind you of some different posts you made some time back

mumtriplet2:


Tnx everyone for your advice .


My father loves my mum soo much that he agree with whatever she say in other to make her happy.
My father is Educated and civilised.

Hmmm,it seems your mum has your dad under her control.He's educated yet he lets his daughters marry as minors without education?

You will need to learn a skill, find a way to be on your own and start a new life.

This isnt nice at all.

Sorry for your predicament.
but its still not to late to start all over again. maybe God wants you to walk with no link to the beast you married.

You are 23 , and i believe you can speak and stand up to your mother now.
look for every possible means and leave the north, maybe your sister can help you set up something, skill, biz, job.

Just leave and run far from him. We don't want a replay of what happened to ronke shonde.

Mumtriplet2, sorry for everything you are passing through. I might sound a Lil bit harsh. I have a question and the question is "do you really need help?". Because I went through your posts and you lamented about your hubby being physically and mentally abusive on Ronke shonde's thread and the thread about a widow who lost her pregnancy after she was battered physically by her lover and a lot of nairalanders quoted you and told you to run for your life, now you're here asking if you should stay or leave, I don't think that should be a question at all, you ought to know what to do by now I mean you have been married for 5 good years to this man and he hasn't made you happy and according to you, it's depressing you, so what are you waiting for? Your Mum is enjoying her own marriage while you are facing hell in yours, And where was your educated and civilised Dad when your mother was marrying you off? ( some mothers though , marrying off a teenager all because of her own belief ). Do you want him to kill you? And you're even trying to conceive, for who? A wife beater? Planning to bring an innocent child into this confusion going on in your life right now? A man who hasn't kept to his promise of sending you to school? And now he has given you another option of giving him a child and he will give you an education, don't tell me you believe that? He wants you trapped, and once you're pregnant, judging you from your situation you will be trapped. Girl you need to take charge, get hold of your life, leave that house (it's your decision to leave the marriage, not mine) and go on a retreat and ask yourself what you really want to do with your life, think about what you would have achieved if you weren't married off. Good luck

Honestly u should have not think of what society or so called family will say and say NO to that marriage when u had d chance,if u are a christian u can leave only when u catch him cheatin red - handed, hence u hv to put up with this bitter marriage.i respect my parent but when it comes to matters that concern my future i make my final decision.
Parent are selfish alot nowadays.Pray to God,fast too for that man to change nothing is impossible for God.i feel ur pain.