The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday. I have so many programs i manage and one of them is a personal campaign to get better everyday. Today i want you to know something i learnt about argument.
People say i argue a lot. When i say people i mean close kith and kin because i hardly talk to people i am not close to. Growing up, my parents sang it as a song "you argue a lot." But hearing it all the time didn't make the statement more palatable. Each time i hear it, i feel so bad and something dies in me. To me i don't argue, its either we are just discussing or am just trying to explain a point i think you haven't gotten clearly, but all these people can't be wrong.
The worst part is that i become aggressive when the argument hits up and scream on top of my voice. I always feel ashamed and broken at the end of it all. Sometimes i end up hurting the other party which makes it all messed up. So knowing that winning an argument doesn't make you feel better and that things may go out of hand and get you screaming, its better you avoid getting into an argument by letting the other party express his/her view than present your own view in form of a question.
Example: you used a certain method to run a program at work and you believe the method didn't give you the best result, but your colleague feels the method should be continued with. you have to let him/her express his/her mind and say why the method should be continued with, then ask a question like, "are you satisfied with the result we got from the previous one?"
The mind works faster and better than you can imagine. He/she will figure it out more than he/she would have if you had started an argument. While arguing, nobody tries to understand the other, they only try to express their own view.