CHAPTER 4

With no more tears left, Chioma is exhausted from crying all night and continuing at day break. She pulls off the little black gown she had bought with most of her savings. What a waste of investment, she said to herself as she removes her underwear.

Folding them in a neat pile, she puts them in nylon and dumps the nylon into her school bag. She wears a jeans trouser and a chiffon top, takes out facial wipes from her makeup purse and cleans out her face. Afterwards, she combs her hair and packs it into a nice bun and avoids looking at the mirror. Walking from her room straight into the bathroom, Chioma finds her toothbrush and a paste, brushes her teeth, goes back into her room, grabs her school bag and walks out of the house. As she steps out of the house, she takes a long breath in and breathes out.
Kunle was in his room when his mother told him he had a visitor, practising on his guitar for the presentation in Church the next day. Then his mother told him the visitor was Chioma. I will be with her soon, he responded although he wanted to tell her to say he wasn’t in but thought otherwise.

“Hi”. The only words he said when he saw her in his living room
“I need to talk to you”. Chioma said
“Can you come back later; I am practising for my presentation and the notes are not perfect yet”. Kunle responded
“No, it can’t wait. I need to talk to you now!” Chioma replied
“Remember last year in Church that those health workers came as facilitators because of the medical outreach. They taught us so many things.”Chioma said

“Yes, I remember”. Kunle said confused and wondering where the conversation was going
“The class we both took on first aid and emergencies which included rape. Can you remember what the facilitator said the victim should do after the rape?” Chioma asked
“Do not shower?” Kunle responded
“After that” Chioma replied

“Chioma, what point are you trying to make?”. Kunle said frustrated
“Kunle, the next thing they asked a rape victim to do?” Chioma asked looking at him and wondering why he was acting funny.

“Don’t get rid of the evidence. Do not throw your clothes or underwear away no matter how much you want to get rid of it.” Kunle said
“After that Kunle, think!” Chioma shouted

“Tell a friend or family. Someone you can trust”. Kunle remembered and understood what was happening. He said nothing else. They both stood there staring at each other for a minute or longer until Chioma takes a sit. She avoids looking at him because the shame had engulfed her entire being.

Kunle stayed silent. He felt sad trying to recall the class again and how they had advised a rape victim should be handled. Then he remembered they said it was never the fault of the victim. “No matter what, yes the victims were naive, but no reason is justified for the abuser”. The facilitator had said

“You need to go to a hospital”. Kunle said to break the silence
“Yes I know, we will go after I finish talking”. Chioma replied
“Okay”. Kunle said taking a sit beside her. “Are you sure you want to talk to me? You should talk to a counsellor instead. I don’t know what advice to give Chioma.” Kunle muttered

“It’s awkward talking to you, but I trust you right now with this information. I will talk to a counsellor, but I am not ready to tell anyone else. Those facilitators said the victim should talk to someone to ease the pain and help you heal, someone you trust”. Chioma said

“They said it could be a stranger, someone who won’t judge you”. Kunle replied
“Okay, I admit you were right, you told me and warned me but I didn’t listen. Your mind is saying I told you so right? I shouldn’t have come here Kunle, my explanation might end up unlikely and it will hurt me more“. Chioma said standing

“No, don’t go. It is no longer a secret so, just tell me everything. I won’t judge you Chioma although I am upset. I can’t say if it’s because you didn’t listen or the fact you got hurt not listening. I am happy you came and I will never betray your trust. If you don’t want to tell me I won’t judge you. No matter what happened it was not your fault, the abuser was wrong”. Kunle responded

“Thanks, Kunle”. She said and sat next to him, this time looking at him without shame. She told him everything.

“I will never forget his face when he finished. It glowed with peace, I looked back with disgust and I hated him. He told me he was sorry and then drove me home. I got home and believed it was consensual. I might have wanted him or prompted him to rape me. So I picked up my phone and dialled his number. He didn’t answer. I didn’t stop dialling. With every turn of a dial, the realisation hit in deep I was raped and he couldn’t care less. By the 35th time, I stopped and threw my phone hard on the wall. Two hours later he called back but my damaged phone didn’t allow me to pick the call”. Chioma explained

“I want to kill him”. Kunle said
“I want to kill him too”. Chioma replied
Then, they smiled at each other and laughed at each one admitting the thought to commit murder. It was such a relief she was laughing again.

“Have you had a bath?” Kunle asked
“No”. Chioma replied

“Good, let’s go to the clinic. The one those health workers came from. I collected a pamphlet and kept it. It has their clinic’s location on it, we should be able to locate the place“. Kunle said standing up and heading for his room.

Ten minutes after, he shows up with a pamphlet in hand and shoes on his feet.

“What if they ask for money?” Chioma asks
“I have money in my wallet and I took the identification card they gave us last year as volunteers. It should count for something”. Kunle replied
“Yes, it should. l am now ready to go to the clinic ”. Chioma said.